A/N: Yes, I have no life and crave reviews. Assassin9 and I still don't own anything.
Now... for Pete's sake, half of this is hers! The middle management idea was hers! Yami's insanity was hers! I refuse to take all the credit! Go search her name and read her stuff!

--

Jou ran into the room where Seto and Yugi were talking, panting heavily (him, not them).
"Jou!" Yugi said, surprised.
Seto raised an eyebrow. "Why are you wearing a collar?'
"Because I'm a dog, alright?" Jou snapped. He pulled out the folder and shoved it into Yugi's hands. "I am /never/ going back to that place. EVER."
"Jou, this is the wrong folder..."
"WHAT?!"
Yugi laughed nervously. "Just kidding!"
Jou gave him a homicidal glare. "I need to shower."
"Did puppy get dirty?" Seto teased.
"Do NOT piss me off, Kaiba."
So Jou went off to shower. Yugi turned to Kaiba. "What do you think happened over there?"
"Well, judging from the way the mutt is walking..."

***

Dr. Bakura yawned. "Middle management is boring."
"But it's a fast and easy way to take over the world," Number Honda reminded him.
"Will someone pleeeease tell me the evil scheme?" Mokuba pleaded.
"Be quiet and eat your Wheaties," ordered Frau Malik.
Mokuba sighed, pushing the Wheaties around his bowl.
Number Honda sipped from his latte. "Where the bloody hell is Yami? He's meant to be seducing the cleaner today."
Frau Malik stared at him. "What?"
"You know, so we don't have to pay?"
"Ah... good plan."
Just then, Yami walked in, a whirlwind of emotions. All in all, he looked pretty put off.
"What's up?" Number Honda asked.
"He just up and left! Men are all the same," Yami sulked.
"... You /are/ a man..."
"That's beside the point!"
"Uhh..."
"Anyway!" Yami said, "I'm in love!"
"What?!" Number Honda spat out his drink.
"Well, not exactly love... but ooh, it's so fun tormenting him!"
Dr. Bakura stared around the table. "Where the HELL did you find this guy?!"
"We met him in a bar," Frau Malik replied. "He claimed he worked at your whorehouse."
"Pff, no way. My whores weren't this... /weird/."
"Hell-o?!" Yami interrupted. "Can we get back to /me/?"
Frau Malik nodded to Dr. Bakura. "He went through extreme mental stress a few years back. Since then, he hasn't been thinking straight."
"Cool! Psycho!" Mokuba cheered.
Yami either didn't hear what Malik (or Mokuba) had said or didn't want to. "His hair is the loveliest shade of blonde..."
"You two are perfect. His head is as empty as yours," Number Honda grumbled.
Dr. Bakura waved his hand. "Can we just get back to the evil plan?"
"Certainly. Mokuba! Go to your room!" Frau Malik commanded.
"Aww, damnit!" Mokuba cried.
"WATCH YOUR MOUTH!!"
Mokuba hissed and left.
Dr. Bakura started petting Mr. Ryousworth. "What is the current status of the plan?"
Number Honda stood. "We bomb Disney."
"I like it so far..."
"Then we bomb Powers."
"It's a brilliant plan! Put it into action immediately."
Frau Malik paused. "To get ahold of the bombs, we may have to sell some of our employees into slavery and prostitution."
"... Like I said, put it into action immediately."
"Can we sell Yami?"
"No!" Yami hissed, pulling his whip out.
"Damnit, where do you /get/ that thing?"
Dr. Bakura cleared his throat. "Ahem! Sell the nameless employees."
He added under his breath, "And Yami."
"But Doctor! He'll whip me!" Frau Malik whined.
"That's not my problem!" However, he gave in when Frau Malik started screaming obscenities in his ear. The others were glad for his decision as well: Malik's yelling was slightly more annoying than Yami.
Mr. Ryousworth then remembered something. "Yami, weren't you meant to get information from Powers?"
Yami looked worried. "I... forgot."
"You forgot and he got the plan folder?!" Frau Malik hissed.
"How did you know?!" Yami looked scared.
"I have l33t spying skillz."
"I already used the l33t skillz line!"
"Well, too bad! The author likes to say 'l33t skillz'!"
"What's this about the plan folder?!" Dr. Bakura cut in.
Yami rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Uhhh... You see, sir, it's like this..."
"You slept with him, you made him tea, he stole it, and you swore."
"Shut up, Malik!"
Frau Malik laughed and leaned back in his chair. "So there's more?"
"Yes!"
"Yeah there's more," Number Honda smirked. "Now he thinks he's in love, remember?" He and Frau Malik both burst out laughing. Dr. Bakura looked rather bored.
"That's not it!" Yami cried. "I didn't think he could walk, let alone get away in the time it takes to make tea."
"That doesn't explain the plans."
"Well, you see, I had no idea where those were..."
"But you knew when you asked him why he was yelling someone's name?"
Yami cracked the whip. "Quiet!"
Frau Malik laughed while Dr. Bakura sipped at his cappuccino, petting Mr. Ryousworth.
"At least my last name isn't Fagina," Frau Malik taunted.
Yami roared, "Shut up!" He shoved Malik face first into the bowl of Wheaties still on the table.
Frau Malik spluttered, pushed Yami away, and gasped for air.
"NEVER speak that word!" Yami hissed.
Number Honda laughed. "Anyway, Dr. Bakura..."
Honda pulled out a list of employee names. "I've marked all of the expendable employees."
Dr. Bakura looked over the list as Frau Malik and Yami attempted to strangle one another. "The only names marked are half of accounting and... we own the DMV?"
"Yes."
"Dear god! Sell them all!"
Number Honda nodded. "Yes, sir!"
"I... have to go." Yami said, excusing himself.
"Oh?" Frau Malik questioned, amused. "Why?"
"I have to win Akira's heart from Seto!" He declared, and stomped off.
Dr. Bakura sighed. "He might end up getting Powers killed... and why the hell is he still calling him Akira?"
The others sighed.