A Witch's Journal
Part 8: Fruit of a Poison Tree
March 12, 2002
The demon poisoned her and I can't make her better no matter what I try. Giles says that she doesn't want to be here. So she isn't.
I wish I could give Buffy whatever she wants so she can be happy.
Why would she want to stay in this world? Everything is unraveling. I can't find Dawn and Joyce. Every spell I try is useless.
I've been trying to figure things out from the notebook, but I don't remember writing these things. Who is Tara?
Giles has been making evil eyes at me. He doesn't even say her name, but he thinks I'll end up like Miss Calendar. Just because she went evil, doesn't mean I will. I was the one who defeated her. I mean, I guess he did the hard part. Still, I'm not her.
The doctors said we shouldn't visit Buffy. But Giles has to leave for England and he wants to say goodbye. I'm helping him sneak in.
Say Goodbye
Time: March 13, 2002
Giles held her hand. It was cool and limp in his. And small. He let go.
"Buffy."
He missed the first days when she used to tell him he wasn't real. Now she didn't even make eye contact.
As he got up to leave, Buffy smiled to herself.
"Almost home," she whispered.
Willow waited outside the asylum and paced. She looked at the door now and then but no one came out.
March 16, 2002
I found myself outside Buffy's mental institution the other day. I don't know how I got there. I probably just got lost. I miss her. I wish I could talk to her.
She isn't supposed to be there. It isn't right. There are all these mistakes. Bad bumps. I'm getting rid of them. Just one at a time. Carefully. It's OK. I know what I'm doing.
Never There
April 30, 2002
Willow stared into the darkened store. The glass on the door had a long crack running across it, covered with tape. She could make out dusty shelves and overturned display cases. Then the light shifted and she could only see her reflection.
She thought there was a magic store there.
Confused, she hurried home before it got dark.
May 7, 2002
There are missing entries in the journal. I tried conjuring them, but the pages just turned black.
People are missing too. Someone named Giles.
I think this Tara person was important. I wrote that she helped me fix things. I need someone to help me fix things.
I don't know what I did.
How could I have been so stupid.
Will I Ever See You Again
May 14, 2002
"You didn't lose a baby, you never had one!" A middle aged man shouted at someone in a parked car.
Willow hurried by and to Xander's apartment.
"I am going to go visit Buffy," Xander said before she got through the door.
"We aren't supposed to."
"What good has it done to stay away. Is she getting better? You see what's happening around here. It's not just her."
Willow looked at the floor.
"Are you coming with me?" Xander asked as he grabbed his jacket.
"I don't think you should go."
Xander shook his head.
"I need to see her."
And he was gone.
May 17, 2002
I am a good person. A good person trying to do good. How can it turn out like this?
To be continued
