Okay. right into the action!
---
Slow motion opera music played, as Mokuba opened the door (in slow motion).
Seto made a desperate jump (also in slow motion), but missed and crashed into a pot plant.
Jou just stood there, scratching his head, and wondered how on earth they were moving so slow.
The door opened all the way as Seto made a last desperate grab for Mokuba and missed.
Number Honda and Frau Malik were again staring at the door in shock. This time, however, they were under the covers, lying next to one another with cigarettes in their hands.
Mokuba gasped. "Frau Malik... you said you'd quit!"
"Mokuba?!" Frau Malik hissed, "What are you doing?!"
"... Proving to my brother that I'm not innocent and cute."
"But you are!"
"Don't change the subject!"
"...What?"
Jou walked over to the doorway and looked in. "Hey, that was fast..."
Frau Malik snorted indignantly. "Not /my/ fault..."
Number Honda glared at him. "What's /that/ supposed to mean?!"
"Nothing, Minute-Man."
"What'd you call me?!" Number Honda hissed.
"You heard me! Why don't you think of someone else's needs for once?"
I would, if you weren't so damn hard to please!"
Seto was aghast. "Quick, Mokuba! Cover your eyes and shut your ears!"
"Uh, what?" Mokuba asked.
Jou was rather entertained by the scene. "You two should get into something skimpy and wrestle. Or you could wrestle naked, but that could get messy..."
Everyone stared at Jou.
"...What?"
"You scare me, mutt."
"I was dropped on my head as a baby."
"How did I not guess that?"
Jou snarled. "Only once, Kaiba."
"... Once?"
"Okay, twice. But that's not the point!"
Frau Malik sighed. "I'm out of here." He tore the sheet off the bed, wrapped it around himself, and fled. Number Honda was left to cover himself with his hands.
Seto yanked Mokuba out of the doorway. "That's enough of that!"
"But-!"
"No more tainting of your mind!"
Jou had one last look at Number Honda, and followed.
Suddenly, the half-hour was up. Jou and Seto headed back to the conference room. Dr. Bakura was waiting for them. Mr. Ryousworth was nowhere to be seen.
"Alright. Let's get down to business."
"Uh..." Jou looked around, "Where's your cat boy?"
Dr. Bakura smirked. "He's off to get a lifesaver to sit on."
"A... a candy?" Mokuba asked innocently.
"Mokuba, outside." Seto ordered.
After a long moment of uneasy silence, a yelp came from the other side of the door.
"Mokuba!" Seto shrieked, running for the handle.
"Halt!" Frau Malik yelled, stepping through, holding Mokuba (who was now wearing earphones). "Make another move, and Cher's greatest hits will be blasted into your brothers ears!"
Jou gasped. "You fiend!"
"Get in the tank or I'll play the CD!" Frau Malik threatened.
Jou blinked. "What tank?"
"The one conveniently placed on the other side of the room."
Jou turned. "Oh. Would you look at that?"
Number Honda entered, now fully clothed, and tied Jou and Seto together. He escorted them to the tank and locked them in.
"In a few moments," Dr. Bakura started, "this tank will be filled with Blue Eyes White Dragons with lasers strapped to their heads. I realize the lasers are unnecesary, but-"
Number Honda interrupted him. "Actually sir, we couldn't get the Blue Eyes."
"Well, what /do/ we have, then?!"
"...Rabid Kuriboh."
Dr. Bakura's eye furrowed. "And WHY don't we have the Blue Eyes White Dragons?"
"Well... since you were frozen, they've been placed on the Endangered Monsters List. We tried to get some, but it'd take months to clear up the red tape."
"Kuriboh, though?!"
"They're mutated Kuriboh."
Dr. Bakura's eyes sparkled. "Really? Are they ill-tempered?"
"Yes, Dr. Bakura."
"Fine. Someone, just close the tank." He ordered, gaining more stares.
"Dr. Bakura... you're just going to leave them? They'll get away!" Number Honda protested.
"No, we'll leave them alone and not actually witness them dying, and we'll just assume it all went according to plan." He grinned as the tank closed, with Jou and Seto inside.
"Are you always this stupid?" Mokuba commented.
"Don't talk to your father like that!" Frau Malik snapped.
"Cut the crap! I know he's not my father!"
Frau Malik gasped. "But how?!"
"...You're all idiots."
Frau Malik looked hurt. "How...?"
"Mainly because you told Seto I was his brother."
"Oh. That's understandable, then."
Mokuba sighed, then turned to the tank. "BROTHERR!"
"Come on, let's get out of here," Dr. Bakura ordered. "Come, Mr. Ryousworth!"
Mr. Ryousworth, who had just entered the room, blinked. "Here? Now?"
Everyone stared at him.
"That line's been used before." Mokuba said.
"Ah, yes, but I have l33t line recycling skillz."
Number Honda sighed. "Wrong author."
So Dr. Bakura and his lackeys left the room and Jou and Seto made an amazing escape using toothpaste, dental floss, and the death of a random guard. They then hurried off to find the others.
"Quick! We have to find Mokuba before they make him listen to that mind-destroying filth Cher dares to call music!"
Jou nodded. "I'll go on ahead, Kaiba. You go find your brother."
Seto gave him an uneasy glance, but nodded. Then ran off.
"This shouldn't be too hard..." Jou said, strutting along. "Hey, this kinda looks like the last corridor-"
He was suddenly pulled into a room.
"He has come back to spank us!" Someone said.
Jou spun around to see the Mais.
"Oh, crap. Not now!"
They huddled close to him, smiling seductively.
"Pegasus naked on a cold day! Pegasus naked on a cold day! Pegasus naked on a cold day!"
The Mais ran their hands down Jou's chest.
Jou finally managed to break away. "I'm outta here!"
"Don't run. You can't resist us, Mr. Powers."
Jou paused. "No way! It's /you/ who can't resist /me/!"
Music came on- music that sounded suspiciously like the Yugioh theme.
Jou had wanted something sexier, but he was running out of options. Gulping, he started the macerena. If he was right about these Mais being fembots, they'd blow up.
A few Mais exchanged looks, all getting slightly excited at the thought of him stripping.
Jou ripped open his shirt. The Mais gave a slight leap of excitement. Jou turned and ripped off his pants as well, revealing his Red Eyes Black Dragon underwear. The Mais gave murmurs of approval.
He pulled out some cigarettes and lit them, throwing one to each of the Mais.
Spinning around, and getting really jiggy with it, he started singing along, getting more murmurs of excitement.
Jou turned his back to them, bent over, reached behind himself and slapped his backside. The Mais spit out their cigarettes. Jou continued to dance, shaking his bum. He turned back to the Mais and gave a thrust of his hips. The heads of two Mais near the back exploded.
He grinned, then shaked his hips, causing two more to explode.
There were four left.
Sighing, he did the most erotic dance he could think of - the barney dance.
Three more exploded.
The final Mai stared him down. However, she was no match for his amazing sex powers. Her head exploded as he started in on the funky chicken.
Proud of himself, Jou continued to dance for a few minutes. The door opened and Seto walked in.
Jou looked up in surprise. "Kaiba! Er, I can explain..."
Surveying the scene, Seto sweatdropped. "Don't bother. Put some clothes on and let's go, mutt."
Jou pulled his clothes on. "I thought you were getting Mokuba?"
"I couldn't find him." Seto said, turning away.
"So... why'd you come to get me?"
Seto shrugged.
"A-HAH! Kaiba wants meee!"
"Shut up for a change," Seto growled.
"Kaiba waaants me! He wants my boooody!" Jou sang.
Something inside Seto snapped. He whirled around and pinned Jou to the wall in one swift movement. Before the blonde could react, Seto was kissing him deeply.
