Authors Note: The characters, setting, etc. belong to the
fabulous JK Rowling and JRR Tolkien. I do not own anything. I
am new to writing fanfiction, so this story is going to be bad.
All that I ask is that if you choose to review this, and if you
have any suggestions, please do it in a civil way.

Introduction

NARRATOR: It began as any other normal day at Hogwarts School
of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Snape was mercilessly torturing his
students.

SNAPE: Bwahahahaha! You all shall DIE!

NARRATOR: ....Myrtle was sulking in her toilet...

MYRTLE: I am miserable...and bored...and miserable.

NARRATOR: .... and our heroes are relaxing at the Lakefront,
trying not to look too SUSPICIOUS...

EXT. THE LAKEFRONT

HARRY: Wow. I'm really bored. Ron, is it time to go have
another adventure yet?

RON: No, Harry. Our next big, yet slightly
overrated, adventure doesn't begin for another two hours.

HARRY: Oh.

HERMIONE: Stop whining, you two! Why don't we just go annoy
Dumbledore?

EXT. DUMBLEDORE'S OFFICE

HARRY: Hi, Dumbledore. We're bored.

DUMBLEDORE: Hello, Harry. Would you like to meet my great,
great, great, great, great, great, great....

NARRATOR: Two hours later...

DUMBLEDORE: .... great great uncle?

HARRY: Erm, okay....

HERMIONE : No Harry! We don't have time!
Our next big, slightly overrated, adventure starts..NOW!

DUMBLEDORE: Put a sock in it, Hermione.

HARRY and RON look at DUMBLEDORE in AMAZEMENT.

DUMBLEDORE : You must meet my great, great, great,
great...ah, to hell with it.

HARRY and RON look at DUMBLEDORE in AMAZEMENT.

DUMBLEDORE: What? As I was saying.... This is
my ancestor, Gandalf the Grey.

GANDALF : Cheerio!

DUMBLEDORE: As I was saying, my dear old 'uncle' is going to be
visiting us today from the year of 1300 something...

HERMIONE: But, sir, if you please...how is that possible?

DUMBLEDORE : I dunno, magic, maybe?

HERMIONE: Ah.

DUMBLEDORE: AND he's bringing his friends! Won't that be
lovely?

HARRY: Erm..

DUMBLEDORE : Well, Harry, I must get back to work. If
you will please, go and get into trouble elsewhere...

HARRY, HERMIONE, AND RON LEAVE.

EXT. OUTSIDE SOMEWHERE.

Our LORD OF THE RINGS characters ARRIVE

FRODO is seen giving HARRY the EVIL EYE.

FRODO: Hello Harry, since you are obviously the hero around
here, I must make you feel inferior to my magnificence.

HARRY: Yeah, whatever. What makes you so great?

FRODO: I went on a quest to destroy the ONE RING, and saved
MIDDLE EARTH from mortal peril.

HARRY : Ooh, I am overly impressed. In case you
haven't heard, I whooped Voldemorte's sorry ass several times to
date.

FRODO: Ooh, another Dark Lord, huh?

HARRY: Yup, how did you know?

FRODO: Erm....

MEANWHILE....

RON: So, you're the sidekick too, huh?

SAM: Yes, I suppose.

RON: Isn't it ironic that we both have red hair?

SAM: Hmmph. I didn't notice that until now...

RON: Yeah, whatever.



RON: Well, does Frodo make you feel inferior to him?

SAM: Not really...

RON : Like, does he make you feel like you should
be thankful that you are his best friend?

SAM: Not really....

RON: Yeah, I feel your pain.

SAM: Wha-?

RON: Wow, it's so nice to have someone to talk to that knows
what its like being an overlooked sidekick.

SAM: Hmmph.

EVEN MORE MEANWHILE

EXT. THE HOGWARTS KITCHENS

LEGOLAS is sympathizing with the HOUSE ELVES.

LEGOLAS: Wow. You all have such hard lives, don't you? I
mean, working all day, sunup to sundown.

RANDOM HOUSE ELF 1 : We house elves is
loving our work, sir!

LEGOLAS : Elves just don't get the respect
they deserve anymore....