Magical Secrets

Chapter 23: Psychos and Sorceresses

Disclaimer:

I own Evan, Falcon, Raven and Crowe! Too bad I don't own the rest of the characters though..............

Warning:

Yoai....language...mush....Anti-Rinoa.....you know and all that jazz......I don't think you can change the warning half way through a story.

Enjoy!

Alexandra AKA ~*~Fantasy Dragon~*~

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"Rinoa?" Quistis asked at the same time as Seifer questioned the dark haired girl, "What the fuck?"

"No, I am not Rinoa. She is just a pawn in the big plan." The girl on the thrown cackled. The voice seemed almost mechanical.

"Okay, lady. You are one messed up human being." Evan said, rolling his eyes.

"That's enough of your impudence." The voice growled, scaring the 3 onlookers.

"If you ain't Rinoa, who the hell are you? And what the fuck are we doing here?" questioned Seifer, being ever so blunt.

"Now, my knight. What reason do you have to know why you are here? Aren't you just supposed to follow orders blindly, never asking any questions? Or do you deny being a knight?" deep brown eyes dug into Seifer's soul, almost ripping apart his mind.

"What the fuck are you?" he exclaimed, grabbing his head silently willing the foreign presence out of his mind.

"More powerful then even Ultimecia. And I know you are quite familiar with that sorceress." another laugh filled the hollow cave, and both blue mages rushed over to the knight and tried to help with no success.

"Excuse me. But are we here for a reason, right?" Quistis looked up at the girl once Seifer had let go of his head, claiming that this person was a fucking idiot.

"What business is it of a blue mage to know?" Rinoa's body asked.

"Well, we could always just tie her up and start singing the song that never ends until she finally cracks and tells us." Evan suggested, causing both Seifer and Quistis both to look at him with weird looks. "What? It always works on other people."

"Idiots! You will now suffer like you have never suffered before!" The mechanical voice screamed and then Rinoa's body stood up and began to admit a strange blue glow.

"Just try!" Seifer challenged and all three guardians took up a defensive pose.

~~~~

Less than 15 minutes later, all three were tied up in some way in the area of the room that looked like a torture chamber. . Seifer was chained standing up against the wall, while Quistis was chained on her knees not far from Seifer. Evan was chained to a table in front of them, each still under the effect of a not so powerful sleep spell.

Rinoa watched over the three prisoners, her mistress quite happy with her work.

"You are really happy with my work, mistress?" Rinoa asked, her voice back to normal.

"Yes, my pet. You have done well, unlike the other dimwits I have under my command." The voice left Rinoa's mouth, as different as night and day from her normal voice.

"Thank you mistress. It's good to hear you happy." Rinoa smiled an evil smile, a look that was completely out of place on her face.

"Will you be able to handle them if I leave you to get some rest?"

"Of course. I would definitely like to get to know the redhead." Rinoa cackled.

"Very well. You have your orders." Then for the first time in weeks, Rinoa felt completely alone in her body. Knowing that both Evan and Quistis were trained SeeDs and could probably escape from simple binds that held them, Rinoa decided to make it a little less easy for them. Trying to find the right thing, her chestnut eyes scanned the room, finally falling on the perfect item.

*********

Evan groaned, then tried to shift his body. Unfortunately, due to the tight binds around his wrists and ankles, he was pretty much immobilized.

"What the hell happened?" He groaned, rolling his head to one side, only to see throwing stars lined up about an inch away from his head. "Um, why am I surrounded by my stars?"

"I wouldn't move if I were you." A snister cackle caused Evan's head to whip around the other way. There was Rinoa, her voice not quite as mechanical as before.

"Why don't you just tell me. I hate all this waiting in suspense." Evan growled, tugging at his binds.

"If you even so much as prick your finger on any one of these throwing stars of yours, you'll be dealing with the effects of pain. Unless..." The brunette had an evil smile on her face as she came closer to Evan's table.

"Unless what?" Evan looked over at Rinoa with a confused emotion. The confused emotion soon became fear as Rinoa stood up on the table, hovering over Evan's body.

"If you make a deal with me, I might be a little persuaded to let up on your little predicament." Rinoa cackled.

"Deal? What kind of deal? I've never really been good at bartering, but I can tell a good deal if it's right there. What do you want? My car? I know I have a really nice car, but I didn't think it would be used to get me out of a predicament. " Evan began to ramble. The effects of being in captivity for almost a week now starting to get to him.

"Maybe I should just show you." The laughter died out of Rinoa's voice as she then began to lay her body on top Evan's. Evan's eyes went wide with realization as Rinoa puckered up and began to lean in for a kiss.

Evan then did the last Rinoa expected.

"AHHHHH!!!! A girl! AHHHH! Girls have cooties! Get it off of me!" Evan then began to strain himself against the restrains, not really caring about the pain spell embedded into the throwing stars.

Rinoa jumped off, a little suprised at Evan's reaction. "What the fuck?" Rinoa growled.

"Girls are evil. Girls are evil. Girls are evil. Girls are evil. Girls are evil. " Evan began to chant, eyes closed, his head rocking back and forth.

This only seemed to piss Rinoa off more.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" She then slapped Evan across the face. The sound of Rinoa's hand impacting Evan's face, combined with Evan's continued screaming of 'Girls are evil.', was enough to wake both Quistis and Seifer from the light sleep.

"What the hell his goin' on here?" Seifer growled, then looked down. He was on his toes, his gunblade, sharp side up, stuck into the wall. If he dared to let his toes rest, the gunblade would start to cut him in half.

"What's happening?" inquired Quistis, noticing that her whip was around her neck like a noose, and if she dared to move ahead a little bit, she would be strangled.

"Can't you make him shut up?" Rinoa yelled over to the two now awake prisoners. Evan's chant still continued, causing Rinoa to grab her ears and head out towards the door.

"What the fuck did you do to him!" Seifer yelled over Evan's loud voice.

Rinoa stopped, dead in her tracks and turned to the knight. She then walked slowly back over to the 3 prisoners and stood in front of the blond. "I tried to get him to be mine in return for his release!" She screamed. " I know you don't want me, cause you're a frickin' fruit!"

This caused Seifer break into a huge smile. "Well, you just have bad like, then, Rinny." Seifer laughed.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Rinoa growled.

"What he's trying to say is that Evan is gay. So you just went from one queer to another." Quistis grinned, causing Rinoa to stomp her foot and hurry out of the room in a huff.

" I thought she'd never leave." Evan said, as if he hadn't just finished freaking out.

*******

"My feet are getting sore." Seifer grumbled, afraid to move. They had been alone in the room for the last 8 hours, no one coming to check on them, and no sign of Rinoa, Raven or Crowe. Quistis had been awfully quite, Evan humming the strangest songs, while Seifer had been lost in his own thoughts.

"Well, it's either deal with sore feet or lose something important." Quistis replied, then both turned their head towards the redhead as he broke into a very off key rendition of 'On Top Of Old Smokey'

"I'm tied to a table,
All covered in stars
And if I dare move
I will not survive.

And Seifer's on tiptoes
A gunblade right there
And if he steps down
There's something to lose."

"Fucking right there's something to lose!" Seifer broke in.

"And Quistis is Kinky" Evan continued, "No, I'm not." Quistis exclaimed.
Getting whipped all the time
And we are still waiting
For Squall to arrive."

Evan finished off and Quistis began to shake her head.

"I think he's finally losing it." She sighed.

"How the hell does he know that Puberty Boy's on his way?" Seifer asked the other blonde, leaving her speechless.

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To Be Continued............

Okay. Just to let you know, I wrote most of this story at 2:30 in the morning, after drinking, oh 2 bottles of pop. But I had a lot of help from Ruby Moon. I figured that after all the time they had been captured, one of them would have to go nuts. Evan worked quite well. If you want to hear a vocal version of Evan's song, email me cause, being the bored losers that me and Rubymoon are, we actually recorded how we thought the song should sound. Email me at fantasy_dragon@loveable.com to get the file. Trust me, it's kind of funny. And congradulations to all of you who thought it was Rinoa, but it really isn't. It's all coming together soon. And I know I promised some Zell and Squall in this chapter, but I really thought this chapter was needed to liven the situtation. Til next Time! Smoochy!