Chapter 1 - What's this? What's this? There's something very wrong!

Severus Snape was giddy for the first time in-forever. After years of drudgery and disappointment, Dumbledore had finally accepted his DADA application. He was thrilled, exhilarated, almost jumping for joy. Almost.

Thusly overwhelmed, Severus utterly and completely forgot the one vital matter which should have occurred to him immediately - his replacement.

So, on this, the day before the students arrived, he trotted happily down the corridor to his office, merrily plucking the key from his pocket. He slid it in the lock, and pushed forward. Unfortunately for the professor, the door didn't open, and, much to the humor of a few passers-by, he fell headfirst into the solid oak. Ow.

But, for the brief moment that his head had contact with the door, he heard faint music coming from inside. Confused, he shook his head, and then replaced it against the wood. Definitely music, definitely creepy. It sounded almost like it came from an organ .

Suspicious, he kneeled down and looked through the keyhole. It was much too dark to see anything - there was barely a glimmer of light from inside. Enough! He stood up and straightened his robes, and with the best scowl he could muster in his jovial mood, he sharply rapped on the door. Nothing happened. As he lifted his hand to knock again, the door suddenly swung open, and Severus had to do a quick side-step to avoid a big cardboard box falling onto his feet. Then the door slammed shut.

"Just wait one-" he started, angrily.

"DADA office four doors down!" came the harsh reply. Severus grimaced and looked down at the box. A bizarre collection of office clutter - his office clutter - had been haphazardly shoved inside, and a neat but hasty "Snape" was scrawled on the front in a slanted hand.

Sighing, the ex-potionsmaster bent down and picked up the remnants of his few personal belongings, carrying them awkwardly down the hallway. As he came to the door of his new office, he was startled by a pat on the back. He lurched around, trying to keep hold of his cumbersome package.

"So you've met your new colleague? Excellent!" Albus Dumbledore beamed.

"Well, actually-"

"I'm so glad; you two will get along nicely!"

"But-"

"See you at dinner!" Dumbledore, clearly finished with their conversation, shuffled on down the hall. Severus hung his head and trudged inside the DADA office, which, like it's previous occupants, was sickeningly neat. Not a paper to be seen, not a knickknack in his peripheral vision. He sighed and dropped the box down on the desk, throwing himself into the large armchair.

This sucks. He rubbed his eyes briefly, before looking up. The script on the box caught his attention. He frowned and spun the container around, offending words out of sight.

In the two seconds he had had to see into his former office, the only thing he could recall was firstly, a set of impossibly tall black candlesticks, and secondly, a very imposing crucifix hanging where he had used to keep his prized griffin wing, which was presumably mangled somewhere in the bloody box. He shuddered. What a weirdo.

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That's all for now folks; I have neither the time nor energy to update in long chapters. Hell, I shouldn't even be writing this, it's 2 AM and I have a crapload of work to do. But this stupid plot bunny was viciously attacking me in my sleep, and I spent my allowance on a faulty Holy Hand Grenade, and - forget it.

10 points to whomever figures out who the new Potions Professor is based on . muahaha!