Chapter 5 - Live and Let Die

The first week of classes passed without a hitch. Which, in Snape's opinion, was a very bad
thing. Students should never feel too comfortable in a class. Comfort led to boredom.
Boredom led to ideas. Bad ideas. Snape was always careful to keep his students on their toes.
If they were scared, they wouldn't dare try anything stupid.

Which was precisely why Severus had adapted his path from office to classroom to include
the potions room as well. If he still remembered his schedules -- and after so many years how
could he forget - today was the first Gryffindor/Slytherin double. Of course, that was infinitely
better than the Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff double - those kids were so perky and annoying he just
wanted to wring their little-- Even so, doubles were hard to handle. Kids get restless easily.
And with a new teacher …

A muffled shriek interrupted Snape's thoughts. A French shriek.

"Exactly," he mumbled to himself, hurrying down the corridor, "what I was waiting for."

As he reached the door, a small blur of black came hurtling right at him, cursing rapidly. Snape
raised an eyebrow.

"Anything the matter, professor?" he asked dryly.

"I would think that to be fairly obvious!" she glared up at him, straightening her robes. "Those
little … monsters! Dieu!"

"I see …" Snape craned his neck in order to survey the classroom. There appeared to be a
petite and rosy-hued satyr dancing on the desk. Snape frowned, pushing past the outraged
Tome and stalking into the classroom.

"--Look on her face sent a right giggle down to me guttiwuts!" laughed one rather satisfied
student. With a flick of his wand, the horned creature began doing the Macarena. The class
laughed.

The corner of Severus' mouth twitched; he could hear the collective sharp intake of breath
as he entered the room, robes billowing like a storm cloud. It's so easy to control these brats.
Any bint with an ounce of sense could do it.

"Quit that nauseating chatter before I sew your mouths shut, quite literally." Snape sauntered
cheerfully up to a now terrified little boy. "Is this your handiwork then, Mister …?"

"Yes, sir . Delarge, sir." He squirmed.

"Ah yes, Mr. Delarge. I recall your brother …" The boy gulped loudly, and Snape continued
to revel in his authoritative state, turning to watch the satyr start the Madison. "Impressive.
Very impressive. However …" he quirked a thin smile, sending instant chills through each
body in the room. "Your little creation seems to be lacking one important characteristic.
Flames." Snape casually drew out his wand, and aimed it squarely at the beast. Much to the
horror of the boy, it caught on fire instantly. Snape stood still, watching intently as the satyr
ran in circles, eventually collapsing and charring into a heap of ashes near the inkwell. The
students shuddered. "Let that be your lesson, then. Class dismissed." Snape sighed, looking
at the messy desk. "Delarge clean this up immediately. And 100 points from Slytherin. Idiots."

Ophelie Tome was still standing outside when Severus decided to vacate her classroom.

"That was cruel."

"What's your point?" Snarled Snape, aggravated. "It solved the problem." He began to continue
briskly towards his office.

"They feared you, simply for walking through the door." She called after him. "You must be a
very bad person."

You have no idea.

* * *

"A dancing demon? I dare say that's a new one! Care for a lemon drop then, Severus?"

"It's not funny, Albus. I knew this was going to happen, I was waiting all week!"

"Then for God's sake why didn't you say anything? You're supposed to help other people,
Severus, if they're in a bad situation. That's what teachers are trained to do."

"What the hell do you think I did?" Snape threw himself down in an armchair, reluctantly
accepting Dumbledore's offered lemon drop. Despite its sour taste, the candy did nothing to
alter his already sour expression. "I'm not a nanny."

"No, no you're not. I shudder to think what would happen if you were ever left in charge of
another person. I can smell the lawsuits now."

"Ha. Ha. That's quite amusing, but doesn't change the fact that you have a novice teaching a
potentially dangerous class."

"You disapprove, then?"

"Of course I disapprove!"

"I'm shocked, Severus. I was so sure you might actually sympathize with someone for once,
that -"

"Sorry. That's not my job. Get someone else."

"I suppose I'll have to."

Note: Awkward, but I'm leaving it there. It's too late for me to be writing (why do I find myself
thinking this way too often?) and I have to regroup and form a committee for the next chapter.
In the meantime, I'm incredibly happy I never started that Sirius/Remus fic I was planning,
cause … well, you know.