Chapter 2: The Woes of Peeves
Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter, so leave us alone!
Starting off, POOPY DOOPY!!!!
Harry and Ron were in the common room talking about absolutely nothing in particular and drooling like the mindless idiots they are when the portrait slammed shut, and a disgruntled Hermione walked towards them with anger in her eyes. "Do ya reckon she found out about me pooping in her bookbag?" Harry inquired while picking his nose.. "I'm just going to pretend like I didn't hear that!" Hermione said angrily. Harry and Ron plugged their noses as a foul smell crept towards them. "Awww, Hermione, you smell like shit!" Said Harry through the sounds of Ron coughing and gasping for air. "I think we're going to have to switch you back to pull- ups until you learn not to crap in your pants!" "Ugh!" Hermione exclaimed in disgust. "I swear I will kill Peeves!" "uhhh. . .Hermione. . .Peeves can't really die again. . .No offense or anything." Harry added quickly. "It's just so weird. . .I-I just don't understand. Peeves has never picked on me so much during my time in Hogwarts. It's like he. . .he's waiting for me." SWITCH TO S.D.!!!!!!!!
Peeves was playing peek-a-boo in one of the girls toilets. He had just scared the fifth girl who had unfortunately walked into the stall he was hiding in, when he suddenly was overcome with depression.
"Why won't she talk to me?! I mean, wouldn't any normal girl enjoy being pantsed in the middle of a crowded corridor?!" Taking a moment to ponder on his little dilemma, he decided to go pull up the rug on unknowing students to let out his anger. He would write her a letter tonight and give it to an owl to give to her. Switch to Poopy Doopy!
~ Later that night ~
"Man! When that last one fell, it was louder than the chimes of Big Ben! And I could feel the whole castle shake!" Peeves thought out loud as he recalled that memorable moment. "They should seriously put that Bulstrode girl on the Jenny Craig Diet!" Peeves began cackling but stopped abruptly as he remembered what he needed to do. "But how shall I begin it? I need. . .inspiration!" Peeves looked around and noticed that he happened to be in the Muggle Studies classroom. He then began looking for anything that may inspire an attack of writing. He looked on the teacher's desk and found what he though was a perfect thing. "Yes! This will do! It reminds me very much of my little angel." Peeves thought while stroking the object and making little kissy faces at it.
Peeves got out a quill and some parchment and began to pour out his emotions to the one he loved.
My Dearest Angel,
You mean so much to me. I would even give up playing jokes on people if it meant you would love me back. (well, maybe not. . .but every time I did, I' feel really bad. . .maybe not really bad, but there would be a little guilt in my tiny heart.) To express my love for you, I wish to write a poem.
Two squishy ball-like things
One large pole type thingy
All brought together
Rubbery balls and pole That was it! I hope you feel the same way as me! Love, Your Sugar Daddy
"It's perfect!" Peeves though to himself. He put it in an envelope and took it to the owlery to be brought to his love tomorrow.
The Next Morning
Hermione was eating breakfast with Harry and Ron, who were trying to stuff danishes up their noses, when the owls came to deliver mail. Along with the Daily Prophet, Hermione got a strange letter. After reading it a first time to herself, she then read it aloud to the boys. "Harry. . .Ron. . .I think this person, in the poem, has described to me a. . .a. . .a dildo!" Hermione shrieked after she finished reading it aloud.
A/N: Well, that was it! Pa-pa-pa please review *makes pouty faces*
Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter, so leave us alone!
Starting off, POOPY DOOPY!!!!
Harry and Ron were in the common room talking about absolutely nothing in particular and drooling like the mindless idiots they are when the portrait slammed shut, and a disgruntled Hermione walked towards them with anger in her eyes. "Do ya reckon she found out about me pooping in her bookbag?" Harry inquired while picking his nose.. "I'm just going to pretend like I didn't hear that!" Hermione said angrily. Harry and Ron plugged their noses as a foul smell crept towards them. "Awww, Hermione, you smell like shit!" Said Harry through the sounds of Ron coughing and gasping for air. "I think we're going to have to switch you back to pull- ups until you learn not to crap in your pants!" "Ugh!" Hermione exclaimed in disgust. "I swear I will kill Peeves!" "uhhh. . .Hermione. . .Peeves can't really die again. . .No offense or anything." Harry added quickly. "It's just so weird. . .I-I just don't understand. Peeves has never picked on me so much during my time in Hogwarts. It's like he. . .he's waiting for me." SWITCH TO S.D.!!!!!!!!
Peeves was playing peek-a-boo in one of the girls toilets. He had just scared the fifth girl who had unfortunately walked into the stall he was hiding in, when he suddenly was overcome with depression.
"Why won't she talk to me?! I mean, wouldn't any normal girl enjoy being pantsed in the middle of a crowded corridor?!" Taking a moment to ponder on his little dilemma, he decided to go pull up the rug on unknowing students to let out his anger. He would write her a letter tonight and give it to an owl to give to her. Switch to Poopy Doopy!
~ Later that night ~
"Man! When that last one fell, it was louder than the chimes of Big Ben! And I could feel the whole castle shake!" Peeves thought out loud as he recalled that memorable moment. "They should seriously put that Bulstrode girl on the Jenny Craig Diet!" Peeves began cackling but stopped abruptly as he remembered what he needed to do. "But how shall I begin it? I need. . .inspiration!" Peeves looked around and noticed that he happened to be in the Muggle Studies classroom. He then began looking for anything that may inspire an attack of writing. He looked on the teacher's desk and found what he though was a perfect thing. "Yes! This will do! It reminds me very much of my little angel." Peeves thought while stroking the object and making little kissy faces at it.
Peeves got out a quill and some parchment and began to pour out his emotions to the one he loved.
My Dearest Angel,
You mean so much to me. I would even give up playing jokes on people if it meant you would love me back. (well, maybe not. . .but every time I did, I' feel really bad. . .maybe not really bad, but there would be a little guilt in my tiny heart.) To express my love for you, I wish to write a poem.
Two squishy ball-like things
One large pole type thingy
All brought together
Rubbery balls and pole That was it! I hope you feel the same way as me! Love, Your Sugar Daddy
"It's perfect!" Peeves though to himself. He put it in an envelope and took it to the owlery to be brought to his love tomorrow.
The Next Morning
Hermione was eating breakfast with Harry and Ron, who were trying to stuff danishes up their noses, when the owls came to deliver mail. Along with the Daily Prophet, Hermione got a strange letter. After reading it a first time to herself, she then read it aloud to the boys. "Harry. . .Ron. . .I think this person, in the poem, has described to me a. . .a. . .a dildo!" Hermione shrieked after she finished reading it aloud.
A/N: Well, that was it! Pa-pa-pa please review *makes pouty faces*
