Scene Eight

It has been a week since Gumakalo joined the group. The gang has only three months until the protective shield fails.

KRISTINA: Wakka, we have got to find a place to live soon.

WAKKA: I know, but there's nothing we can do.

Kristina notices that Wakka is chewing on his shoe.

KRISTINA: Why are you chewing on you shoe? We have food now?

WAKKA: Oh, that. Well, I just like the way it tastes. Mmm leather..

KRISTINA: *Blinks* .right.

All of a sudden, Yugi Motou appears out of nowhere. He appears to be walking with his Dark Magician. Yugi spots us and hurls himself against the shield.

YUGI: Mmrrrfghhrrmrfghsbrzxywabfgmf!

His voice is extremely muffled, but what he was trying to say was " Hi I'm Yugi. What are you guys doing here? Are you lost?"

YUGI: YUGIOHHHHH!!!!!!! *Turns into Yami*

WAKKA: Umm, Samantha let him in.

YAMI: *Clears throat* Hello, my name is Yami. I'm a hott, five thousand- year-old pharaoh. I sometimes like men, but enjoy women very much too. My turn-ons are-

KRISTINA: Wait! I know you! And Yugi! You're the King of Games!

YAMI: That I am. And I know who you are too! You are that frycook who had Uncle Dave put in jail. Thank you, you've done me a great service. *Winks*

KRISTINA: *Blushes* No, thank you. I mean, I have? Believe me he was just some idiot who was obsessed with Chupi Patties.

YAMI: That's where you're wrong. Uncle Dave was one of the most powerful Sorcerers in the universe. Once again, thank you.

Yami addresses the entire group.

YAMI: I have a proposition for you. Since you seem to be very uncomfortable in this bubble shield, I'd like to take you to my home.

Andrea and Kristina look at each other and smile. They'd both like to go to his house.

YAMI: You see, not all of the earth was destroyed. Japan still exists. It has become a planet in itself. Would you like to go there?

KRISTINA: DEFINITELY!

ANDREA: Down girl! That sounds great Yami. You see, we're in trouble. This shield only lasts six months.

CHELSEA: How long will it take us to reach Japan?

YAMI: Two months. *Winks at the girls whom all smile*

GIRLS: *Snap out of it* That's cutting it close!

YAMI: Well, how much time do you have left in here?

WAKKA: Two months, 1 week, 5.2 days, 3 hours, 2 seconds, 57.896 milliseconds, and 6.

YAMI: Yes, yes I get the point. So then let's be on it like a hobo on ham sandwich!

EVERYONE:.

Scene Nine

The gang only has 1 more week before they reach Japan. Yami and Kristina are talking.

KRISTINA: So you're saying that Dave was a powerful mage?

YAMI: Yes. But back home everyone called him You-Know-Who-Dat. Once he killed five people with the flick of his wrist. Until one night. This was the night You-Know-Who-Dat lost his powers.

KRISTINA: Oh God! Not another Harry Potter story!

YAMI: Who?

KRISTINA: Never mind, please continue.

YAMI: Well, you see, Uncle Dave, as you know, could kill man with one tiny flick of his wrist. Also, for some unknown reason, he had a fetish for yaks.

KRISTINA: Sounds like Gumakalo.

YAMI: I'm getting to that. Your friend Gumakalo is Uncle Dave's heir. He was to inherit all of Dave's power upon Dave's death. Well, You-Know-Who- Dat wasn't about to let that happen. So he set out to kill Gumakalo. By killing him, he would live forever because there would be no heir. So on a cold December night, Dave snuck into Gumakalo's nursery. He flicked his wrist and there was a blinding flash of light. Much to Dave's surprise, the boy was unharmed, except for a yak shaped scar on his tush. Dave tried the spell again, but couldn't. All his powers had gone into Gumakalo.

KRISTINA: But how do you know all this about him? And do you mean that *Points* goofy, doofy Burakaloe?

YAMI: Gumakalo.

KRISTINA: Right. He's a powerful mage and doesn't know it.

YAMI: Yes. And I know this because I've had idle time for many years.

KRISTINA: What are you? Some kind of Vampire?

YAMI: Hmm. Perhaps I'll explain later.

KRISTINA: Okay.

YAMI: But yep that about sums it up.

Scene Ten

The gang ahs made it to Japan! They're now living just outside Tokyo. Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Bakura, Tea, and Yugi's Grandpa live next door. We zoom in on Kristina watching TV in the living room. She appears to be incredibly engrossed with whatever's on. She suddenly jumps off the couch and runs into the kitchen.

KRISTINA: WAKKA! The John Wayne marathon is starting! Is the popcorn done?

WAKKA: One more second. *Beep* Ya! *He takes out a 50 lb. Bag of popcorn* I hope this is enough for sixteen hours.

KRISTINA: It'll suffice.

They head back into the living room. Their eyes are going to be glued to the TV for the next sixteen hours watching John Wayne go, "Howdy Pilgrim."

3 hours later.

WAKKA: Man, I gotta pee.

KRISTINA: A commercial's coming on. You have 30 seconds. Go!

Wakka dashes down the hall towards the bathroom. Suddenly, Gumakalo appears at the window. Kristina gets up and opens the door for him.

KRISTINA: Come for another English lesson from Andrea?

GUMAKALO: Ya, you could say that.

KRISTINA: Go on up. Wakka! Eh! Get your fine ass out of the bathroom! The movie's back!

They resettle on the couch. What they don't know is that Gumakalo has snuck his yak, which is now upstairs. He walks into Andrea's room.

ANDREA: Wakka? That you?

GUMAKALO: Ya.

ANDREA: Did you dye your hair?

GUMAKALO: Ya.ya.

Meanwhile.

"Moo! Wakka spank you yak again!"

About 10 more moos follow and all goes quiet.

WAKKA: What was that?

KRISTINA: I don't know. Maybe Andrea's having a crazy dream about you, yak boy.

WAKKA: Hey! *Smiles* Maybe.

Scene Eleven

The marathon has ended. Wakka and Kristina are on their way upstairs. Kristina's bunking in Wakka and Andrea's room.

WAKKA: *Opens door* What the hell!

They see Gumakalo and Andrea asleep in bed together with big smiles on their faces. Yakka is curled up in the corner, fast asleep.

KRISTINA: Wow that's really gross. *Notices the look on Wakka's face* Hey man, don't worry about it. She though it was you remember? She yelled "Wakka."

WAKKA: *Wipes a tear from his eye* It's not that. I'm crying because the same thing happened before. Only it was with a different person that did this to me. It was Yakka. We'd been dating for a year when she ran off with Gumakalo. And now he's stealing my wife. *Breaks down and cries uncontrollably on the floor*

KRISTINA: *Puts her arms around him* Shh. C'mon. You can sleep on the couch in my room. It's a nice sofa. I'll even give you one of my old Nike's to chew on. What do you say?

WAKKA: Okay.

KRISTINA: We'll sort this out in the morning.

Scene Twelve

We zoom in on where we had left off with Andrea and Gumakalo. Gumakalo's stocky arm is wrapped (somewhat) around Andrea. She wakes up.

ANDREA:? *Looks at the body next to her* Where am I? *Stares at Gumakalo* ?!

GUMAKALO: Oh, good morning beautiful. Last night was good, ya?

ANDREA: WHAT!_! What are you talking about? *Shoves Gumakalo off the bed* Oh my..

You can hear a horribly loud scream from Andrea's room. Wakka comes into the room. Struggling to pill up a pair of jeans, which so happens to be Kristina's.

WAKKA: *Starts to convulse* Eh, that's .umm, ya?

Words cannot explain the horror of seeing Gumakalo naked. Andrea chucks a brick at Gumakalo's head.

KRISTINA: *Pulling up Wakka's jeans which are too big for her* Ooo.that.well, at least the fat covers up his.Krshgrhfrtgrh. *Throws up all over Gumakalo*

Andrea goes into shock.

WAKKA: *Notices the 70 lb. Bottle of liquor next to Andrea* Oh, I see. Let's get her out of here.

KRISTINA: Bring her to my couch. Oh, and umm Wakka? You have a shoelace hanging from your mouth. And well I have your jeans on and you have mine.

WAKKA: Hmm.I thought these were snug. Oh yeah, I ate your old Nike's. They were leathery.

KRISTINA: Damn, Wakka! I was gonna where those when Yugi takes me jogging.

Yugi just happens to be jumping on his trampoline.

YUGI: They're awake!

He jumps and hurls himself against the bedroom window.

YUGI: Mrgrfghshr! *Good Morning!*

He then notices Gumakalo in all his naked horror. He slides down the window and falls into a trash can.

Scene Thirteen

Kristina's bringing the trash out. She hears a muffled sound coming out of the trashcan.

KRISTINA: Yugi! Sweetie, how long have you been in there?

YUGI: Three days. *Eye twitches*

KRISTINA: You've been stuck here ever since we saw you fly against the window and shrink back in horror because of Gumakalo's nakedness, haven't you?

YUGI: Yep. YUGIOH! *Blinding flash of light*

A 6ft. tall, more handsome version of Yugi pulls himself out of the trashcan.

KRISTINA: Hey you did it again! How come I'm the only one who notices that you go from 4-6ft. tall?

YAMI: I'm not all that sure. You do know my name is Yami right?

KRISTINA: Yeah. You told me while you were floating in space. By the way may I ask you how you share a body with Yugi?

YAMI: You see this puzzle?

KRISTINA: Yeah.

YAMI: It's called the Millennium Puzzle. It's where I reside until I see Yugi in the shower, I mean, until I see fit to come out. With permission of Yugi of course.

KRISTINA: Right. So you like Yugi?

YAMI: Well, yes, but I'm torn at the moment.

Kristina notices the Yami is staring at her.

KRISTINA: I see. Anything else I need to know about you?

YAMI: Well I'm 5000 year old and I was once a powerful Egyptian pharaoh. I saved the world.

KRISTINA: Cool. Would you mind if we went for a walk?

YAMI: *Smiles* Not at all..

Scene Fourteen

Wakka and Andrea sit at a table in a small café. Wakka holds Andrea's hand in his. He's willing to listen to what she has to say. Eat you heart out Casanova!

WAKKA: *Looks into her eyes lovingly and forgivingly* So. What happened that night? And tell the truth. I can handle anything after seeing Gumakalo naked. *Makes disgusted face*

ANDREA: Well, I was asleep. Next thing I know someone's knocking at my door. It was Gumakalo. For some strange reason he had brought along his yak. I asked him what he wanted because I thought he was you. He said he wanted to celebrate for having such a great wife.

WAKKA: How could you not know?

ANDREA: I had taken a sleeping pill before and I was still half-asleep. He had a huge bottle of liquor with him and we drank half of it. I was drunk already at one fourth. After that there was no saving me. I'd lost it. Plus, the sleeping pills had some terrible side effects. It made you hallucinate.

WAKKA: Oh, I see. I'm very sorry about that, but why did you.I mean, where did you get the liquor?

ANDREA: Umm.Joey and me went shopping and when we saw it on that lonely shelf, we felt bad and bought it although it had a " Warning! This is very hazardous to your health!" sign on it. It even had skull and crossbones, but Joey thought it was cool. We were going to save it for your birthday.

WAKKA: *Laughs* So much for that.

ANDREA: Forgive me?

WAKKA: *Kisses her softly* Definitely.

ANDREA: Okay. On with my story. Well, it's actually pretty hazy. I remember him spanking that yak and then the yak going moo!

WAKKA: What about the other moos? There were like ten.

ANDREA: *Blushes* That was me.

WAKKA: *Laughs* I've heard you make a lot of noises, but I didn't think you were capable of doing that.

ANDREA: Me neither.

They exit. As they're walking, Wakka stops and pulls his arm around her kissing her longingly.

WAKKA: Now that's the way it should be.

ANDREA: I wouldn't have it any other way.

Scene Fifteen

Andrea has decided to train Gumakalo to become an acceptable member of society. She's bought a treadmill. She's hung Yugi on a fishing pole to use as tasty motivation for Gumakalo to run. Gumakalo steps upon the treadmill.

ANDREA: C'mon Gumakalo, you can do it!

The Rocky theme song starts to play, but only for five seconds until it dies out. That's how long Gumakalo could bare to run.

GUMAKALO: *Huffs and puffs* GOD!!! I need a BREAK! I REALLY worked up a SWEAT!!!

ANDREA: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!! You've only been there for FIVE SECONDS!

GUMAKALO: It's been that long? Man I need a break! Gimme about 5 hours okay?

ANDREA: ?

YUGI: Phew! I'm lucky to be alive. Can I get down now?

No one's in the room.

YUGI: Andrea? Hello? Hello?

Andrea and Gumakalo walk down the hallway, talking about.stuff.

GUMAKALO: *Tries to hold Andrea's hand* Umm. thanks for doing this. I mean, taking off so much time just to be with me.

ANDREA: *Jerks hand away* Yeah umm.you're welcome. But you know, all of your speech lessons are over now so.

GUMAKALO: *Grabs her hand anyway* Please don't go. I wanna spend more time with you. And plus you have to help me stay in shape. I'm doing well, ya?

ANDREA: Eh-hem!

GUMAKALO: Sorry, I mean yes.

ANDREA: *Smiles* Good! You can jog with Kristina and Yugi too.

GUMAKALO: Thank you.you?

ANDREA: No, you don't always have to substitute something for ya. Thank you is good.

GUMAKALO: Right. *Let's go of Andrea' hand*

ANDREA: Yes. You are doing well by the way. Only 50 more pounds to go.

They left poor defenseless Yugi alone hanging from the fishing pole.

YUGI: *Tears stream down his face* Help.

Scene Sixteen

5 Hours Later.

Yugi is still hanging on the fishing pole. Kristina walks in.

KRISTINA: Yugi! Oh, my poor baby!

YUGI: *Has his socks on his hands* Hello Socko. How are you today? Mrmmrrrmmfrghfrsh!

KRISTINA: I think it's time to get you down.

She pulls him off the pole. She holds Yugi close to her as he cries with relief and tells her how awful it was.

YUGI: Yugioh!

YAMI: Thank you.

KRISTINA: Sure. How long were you up there?

YAMI: 5 hours.

KRISTINA: C'mon. Let's get you something to eat.

YAMI: Sure.

Scene Seventeen

Rocky has found out about Gumakalo's crush on Nikki. He approaches Gumakalo.

ROCKY: Yo, not so tubby anymore, yo! Yo, stay away from my girl, yo!

GUMAKALO: *Innocently* But, how can she be your girl if she doesn't even know who you are?

ROCKY: Yo! *Walks away*

Rocky goes to talk to Kristina.

ROCKY: Yo, I gotta get my girl back, yo!

KRISTINA: Well, how are you gonna do that?

ROCKY: I heard that Yugi had taught you how to duel. Yo, I also heard yo that you're pretty good yo.

KRISTINA: Thanks.

ROCKY: Yo, could you teach me yo?

KRISTINA: Sure. When do you want to start lessons?

ROCKY: Yo, Wednesday, yo!

KRISTINA: I can't on Wednesday. I've been teaching Gumakalo how to be socially acceptable.

ROCKY: Yo, oh, yo.

KRISTINA: But my schedule is totally free after that.

ROCKY: Yo, I'm gonna be that greatest duelist ever yo!

KRISTINA: Yeah. Except Yugi. And me. And oh, the World Champion, Seto Kaiba.