Closing the World
by Cooking Spray
The air was pensive; today the typically rural silence of the Sengoku Jidai was different. Where she sat on the edge of the assaulting stone well, even through the tangled strands of hair that tainted her vision, she could see the melancholy shade of gray that the normally blue sky had taken on. It was as if it, too, was mourning, clouds gathering around the sun donning funeral attire.
She clenched her fist; nails once so manicured and polished, now ragged and encrusted with the dirt of her deeds penetrating her callused palm, summoning blood with a minor sting. Her head remained bowed, what was visible of her expression appearing blank, like a pitcher having been emptied. Gaunt frame, thin with the adjustment to hunger, slumped beneath her torn uniform.
She tilted her head ever so slightly to survey the damage, not really caring. Her matted raven hair rippled with the shift. The puncture wasn't that bad, not half as deep as the one in her heart. She moved her fingers, the ocher liquid pooling in her hand, stained where she had smeared it with her gripped fingers.
He'd left. It was really all over. She was stunned, unable to grasp the magnitude of this fact. She could not handle its surrealism. In the end, it had always seemed to her she'd change his mind, come to soften him. But Fate had cruelly mislead her once again.
And then the rain came, droplets upon droplets descending from above, becoming steady and falling more heavily. The landscape became but a mist; that was fine with her. She wasn't seeing things too clearly at the moment anyhow. The hiss of precipitation as it met the land and trees became a steady soundtrack, and she took insane comfort in the prickling hairs upon her arms as the temperature dropped, reminding her that she existed still.
The almost imperceptible brushing of footfalls upon the slippery grass pricked her ears. Her eyes shifted, and she was instantly aware of the intruder trekking toward her. Kouga.
He stopped just a few feet before her, rough features set in a mask of solemnity and eyes brimming with a soft grief. His expression could never in a thousand lifetimes voice the amount of wounding that the girl's blank, hollow one was, though. He almost winced as her sharp, empty eyes cut into his.
"Kouga," she stated emptily, tone not flat nor pained. In fact, it wasn't much of anything, it sounded almost. . . mechanical.
"Kagome."
A wide gap of silencing followed, both facing each other without speaking. Kagome's hair was sodden with the downpour; it hung tangled and limp, clumped tendrils sticking to her face. Her clothes clung to her body and rivulets of water slid down her bare skin. She seemed not to notice.
Kouga's voice penetrated. "You loved him, didn't you?" It was an idiotic question. But he simply had to ask; at last she would put her affection into words, make the fact final, resolute.
Her face changed slightly. Loving him? She hadn't ever put it into words, it sounded so. . . strong. "I. . ." She hesitated a moment. But, what other explanation was there? So she admitted it, spoke the word.
"Yes."
Another pause. This was difficult. After what had transpired. . . how could he possibly bring such things as his own selfish wants into the conversation? It wasn't hard to understand. Inuyasha wanted to be with Kikyo, not Kagome. The Shikon no Tama was completed. The girl's time here had ended, and she was obviously hurting. But. . . he still had to try.
"Kagome. . . I know you're not recovered over Inuyasha, and I know it may take some time. I understand that. But, please, even though I know you don't think of me the way I think of you, could you. . . could you just give me a chance? Please? I know I can never be him for you, but. . . I'll do my best. I'll help you get through this. Please. . ." He let the sentence hang unfinished, lapsing into silence. The words must've sounded so stupid to her, so inconsiderate, especially at this time.
It took a moment before she would allow herself to speak again. She'd always known the nature of Kouga's feelings were much different than hers, but she'd always appreciated his respect for their differences on that subject. And now. . . in the midst of all of this chaos, she was watching him plead his love for her. She should have suspected it, should've ended their friendship before she could hurt him any more. . . but now it was just too much. Her eyes were despairing as she looked at him, and rejection washed over him in waves. He knew what would follow.
The tragic maiden began to stand. "You know as well as I my time in this world has expired. Kouga. . ." This crushed her worse than ever when she saw the hurt in his eyes. "I can't love you. You've been a great friend to me, but being in that kind of relationship would just hurt both of us, and I think you know that. Besides, it's time for me to get back to my own world. Being in this one for too long. . . would just bring back too many painful memories."
There was a void forming in him; he ignored it. "I understand," he said, doing the noble thing, and Kagome loved him more at that moment for being so good about it that she almost rethought her decision. Almost. But images of a certain amber-eyed, white-haired hanyou soon abandoned this.
She gave him a bitter smile. "So I guess we're both partners in our suffering now, aren't we?"
Her accomplice returned the gesture, and they shared a moment of mutual misery before Kouga decided to speak. "So, on these terms. . . could you allow me at least a kiss to remember you by?"
The smile remained intact. "Since I can't give you anything else. . . I guess I could oblige to that."
At her approval, he slowly bridged the gap between them, tentatively placing his hands on her petite waist. She nodded, eyes closed, and he leaned in until their lips met for a few moments before pulling away.
She stepped back, radiant, droplets glistening on her eyelashes before she opened them. He was later furious with the rain for it not allowing him to see her fully so that he could treasure that image of her in his mind.
She spoke simply, suddenly serene. "Goodbye, Kouga." She hoisted one foot, and then both, onto the edge of the famed well, ignoring memories that threatened to crumble her all over again. And then, free of possession of a jewel of any sort, she dived in, a piece of her dying as she fell, and closed her world forever.
He watched her fall, amidst the shimmers of the falling rain, and as she disappeared, a part of him died as well.
~*~*~*~*~
I just want to state this fact right now: I am an Inu/Kagome fan. I just wanted to write something like this because I wanted to show a scenario in which the cards were flipped. It turned out melancholy, as I assumed it would, but it served its purpose. I kind of like it for the aspect it symbolizes. The Kagome and Kouga interface was partly inspired by my friend, PsychoticLoverKitty (YGO! fans, read her stories!), and a story called Forever Alone. But it's still mine in essence. I hope you likies!
And, as for the second Inuyasha movie, The Castle Beyond the Looking Glass, it is absolutely beautiful. The animation is gorgeous, and the entire thing as a whole is very moving. Finally, they get a move on. . . but that's all I'm saying. Everyone should buy it!
Reviews, anyone?
