Part 14 – Preparation

Haldir did not bother to speculate upon the reason he had been summoned to Galadriel and Celeborn, although as he mounted the steps to their audience chamber, he was conscious of a feeling of foreboding. This, followed by the fact that she had made a point to tell him to spend time with Amarië yesterday, suggested to him that she had some duty for him to fulfill which would remove him from the city. Of course he expected this, but still he had hoped to have a few more days with his wife.

He saw Galadriel first. She was not seated, but instead stood gazing out her eastern-facing window, and appeared quite wrapped in thought as she watched the pale colors slowly gild the sky with dawn's first light. When Haldir entered, she made no move, though he knew she was aware of him. Across the room, he saw that Celeborn sat at the table, studying a map. The Lord glanced up and nodded a greeting, but did not speak.

"It seems so strange," Galadriel said reflectively, "to watch the rising of the sun each morn. It is as though the world itself knows not that it is changing."

Haldir frowned, unsure if it was to him she spoke, or whether she required an answer. Finally, he made one since Celeborn did not. "In what way do you mean, my lady?"

Galadriel turned from her window and looked at him. "You know of the great evil that threatens us, just as you know that the time of the elves nears its end. Many are feeling the call to go home, Haldir. Have you not felt the call of the sea singing in your blood?"

"No, I have not felt it. Not yet."

"Nor has Celeborn. But I have felt it, and so have others." She walked over to her chair and sat down, the flawless beauty of her face betraying nothing of her thoughts. "Long have we lived in this world," she said. "We have shared in its history, its memories, its joys and sorrows. Whether we continue here or not, we have an obligation to this world. We need to share in its burdens. And its battles."

Haldir's brows drew together. "Have you had word of the Fellowship?"

"The Fellowship has broken. Frodo is still in possession of the One Ring, but whether his quest has a hope of success, I know not. The kingdom of Gondor is under siege. The kingdom of Rohan is threatened by the forces of Isengard. Théoden, King of Rohan, moves his people to Helm's Deep. My mirror has shown me that a great battle will soon take place there. I have spoken with Elrond of Imladris on this matter."

Haldir walked closer to her, curious to know where this was leading. "And what does Lord Elrond say?"

His queen's ancient blue eyes looked deeply into his, and he felt her brush against his mind. "We, along with Celeborn, feel that the world of men will fall if the elves do not take part in the battles that are to come."

Haldir took in the implications of her words all too quickly. "I see," he said tonelessly. "And you feel the world of Men is worth fighting for?"

"Do you?" she countered.

He drew a breath, disliking that she forced him to take a side on this. "I care nothing for the world of Men," he said in a flat voice.

Her brows raised. "Truly? What of Aragorn? I thought he had your respect. Would you see the last of the line of Isildur slain and feel nothing?"

Haldir shifted his gaze uncomfortably.

"What of your wife?" she continued. "She is only half-elven. What if she had not yet made her way to Lothlórien? Consider what you say, Haldir. But I know your mind, perhaps better than you do. You care. You only find the timing inconvenient."

Inconvenient? That was the understatement of the age!

He nearly said this, but thought better of it. "If I had known I was about to go into battle," he said steadily, "I would not have bound myself to Amarië."

"That is why I did not tell you," Galadriel replied.

His eyes narrowed. "I do not understand, my lady. What of this business of our Fëar? I am much concerned to know what will happen to her if I am slain."

"If you are slain, she will die," the Lady answered simply, "either immediately or of a broken heart or because . . . " She stopped.

He felt a frisson of anger at the matter-of-factness of her tone, but he smothered it. "And if we were not bound together? What then?" Again he felt her dip into his mind, taking whatever of his thoughts she wished.

"Then you would both have regretted it," she told him enigmatically. "Now you must speak to Celeborn. He will show you what must be done."

Keeping a tight rein on his temper, Haldir nodded curtly, and walked over to join the elf Lord at his table. It was taking him a few moments to assimilate what was taking place, to adjust his thoughts, and he did not bother to wait for an invitation to sit.

"Elrond's army left two days ago," Celeborn said. "A contingent of two hundred of their best warriors. They travel fast. Our army will meet up with them here, near the border of Lórien." He pointed at a spot on the map. "Speed is of the essence if we are to be of any use."

Haldir studied the map, wondering if it was possible for the Imladris elves to get to that location as quickly as necessary. Of course, elves could travel far more rapidly than humans, and could go without sleep.

"When will this battle take place?" he asked.

They discussed the particulars for a number of minutes while Galadriel stood nearby, listening in silence.

"The mortals must leave at once," Galadriel reminded them when there was a pause in the conversation. "They cannot stay here."

Haldir and Celeborn glanced at each other. "Yes," Celeborn agreed. "They cannot stay in Lórien. They must leave now, and under guard until they reach the border."

Haldir thought of Ennis, and what a blow this was going to be to Amarië. But what could he do? They were right. Ennis and his people must go.

"I will see to it at once," he said, rising to his feet. "I must go now. There is much to be done."

As he turned to go, Galadriel touched his arm. "Go to her first. Tell her."

He gave a single, short nod. "That is my intention."

xxx

Amarië woke to find Haldir's lips covering hers, the fall of his long, pale hair brushing against her arm. Drowsily, she opened her mouth, allowing his kiss to deepen as she reached for him. He was dressed, she noticed. She curled her arms around his neck, tugging on him, attempting to persuade him to join her on the bed, but he resisted.

"Amarië, I must talk to you," he said.

"What is it?" She opened her eyes fully, taking in his serious expression. She loosened her hold on his neck. "What is wrong?"

"You must rise and dress. At once." He drew back, looking at her oddly. He seemed different from the elf she had known the day before; her tender lover seemed to have slipped back into his Marchwarden persona.

She sat up quickly, clutching the sheet to her naked chest. "Why?"

"It is a good thing you are not one of my soldiers. They know enough to obey me without question." He picked up her chemise and tossed it to her. "Be quick. We do not have much time."

"What is this about?" she demanded, ignoring his domineering tone.

He sat down in the nearest chair and swiped a hand over his face. "I would give you a chance to bid farewell to your brother before he leaves Lothlórien."

"What?" She stared at him, then yanked the garment over her head and pulled it into place. "Has something happened? Has Rufus—"

"Rufus has done nothing. It is simply time for them to go."

"Time for them to go!" she repeated, unable to believe her ears. With a quick flash of anger, she surged to her feet. "Haldir, what are you saying?"

She could see the mixed emotions playing across his face. He loved her, but he was taken aback and displeased by her confrontational attitude. She had to remember that it was as he said, he was used to unquestioning obedience, and it would take some time and patience to alter that where she was concerned.

The tilt of his head changed as he looked at her, and his dark, high-arched brows pulled together. "I am saying that they must leave at once, by order of the Lady. To have them here will be a risk when I am gone."

She looked at him, coldness creeping down her spine. "Where are you going?"

He rose and came close to her, and set his hands upon her shoulders. "There is to be a battle. The elves of Lothlórien, as well as those from Imladris, will be going to a place called Helm's Deep to assist in defending the people of Rohan from attack by the forces of Isengard."

"A battle? You are going into battle?"

Her numbed mind could only center on this one thought. Dimly, she realized that her hands were pressed to her mouth, though she had no memory of placing them there. Was this it, the confluence of the warnings in her dreams? Shards of pure dread rebounded within her, cutting and stabbing at her insides. Adar, is this it? Is this it?

"Yes," Haldir answered.

"No!" She shook her head, nearly overtaken with panic. She gripped his tunic, shaking it as though to make her point. "No, you cannot go!"

"I have no choice. Most of our soldiers will be leaving. Only a few will stay to protect our borders, that is why your brother and his people must go."

He pried her fingers loose and tried to take her in his arms, but she pulled away, regarding him with open consternation. "Of course you have a choice! Just tell them no. Why must you go? Why not someone else?"

"You are behaving like a child," he said sternly. "I told you before, one cannot always live as one pleases. It is my duty to go. In fact, it is my duty and my honor to lead this army."

She shook her head, rejecting this. He seemed so willing. Not two days past he had told her he would never walk away and leave her, and already he was doing so. And into what? That which her dreams foretold?

"You want to go? You want to leave me?" Her breath was coming in short huffs.

His fist crashed down upon the table. "Of course I do not want to leave you! More than two thousand years have I waited for you, and two days have we had together! How can you ask me such a question?" He stared at her, his nostrils flaring, and she knew then that he was as unhappy about this as she was. Somehow that made it even worse.

She gazed deep into his eyes. "I see. So you truly do not have a choice."

"No, I do not. I am beholden to my Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn. Now please get dressed."

Clenching her jaw, she turned away from him, and picked up the gown she had left on the back of the chair. A single tear rolled down her cheek, and when she pulled on the gown, the ring he had given her the previous evening caught in the fabric and nearly ripped it. A strangled sound came from her throat as vague, horrifying images from her latest dream tumbled through her mind and quickly faded.

"Amarië," he said, more gently, "I know how you feel. But you must not worry about me. Many times have I fought in battles, and I am still here. I will come back to you."

She spun around to face him. "I want to go with you!"

"Absolutely not."

"I am skilled with a bow! And my swordplay is—"

"Merely adequate," he cut in. "The answer is no. Do not waste your breath or my time on such a ludicrous idea. You will stay here and wait for my return."

She flinched at his quick dismissal of her offer. "Do you discount the warnings given by my father? I had another dream last night, and I know there is something I must do, something to do with you and your well-being!"

"I have received no warnings. And you do not know for certain what is to happen, and even if you did, I would not let you go. War is not like target practice, Amarië. It is a vile, foul business."

"I know what war is like!" she fired back in sudden fury. "I have seen the results—"

"The results, yes!" he snapped. "But I do not think you have seen anything like what is soon to take place. This battle will not be easy. Many will die. If you were there, I would be distracted by your presence. You would put my life at risk, and yours too."

She thrust out her jaw, determined to make him see her point. "But, Haldir, I think I am supposed to be there! I am supposed to do something to help you, or protect you, or—"

"No!" he roared at her. "I forbid it! Do not ask me again." His mouth was set in an uncompromising line, reminding her of the way he'd looked the first time she had set eyes on him. You may go no further . . . The voice of authority was speaking.

She lowered her gaze and turned away from him, reaching for her shoes. "Very well," she said tightly. "I will not mention it again. I will go and see Ennis this instant."

She heard him sigh. "Forgive me, meleth," he said after a few seconds had passed. "But what you ask of me, I cannot grant. Now I will go with you to your brother. I must speak with him as well."

Frustrated and disturbed, Haldir did not glance at Amarië as they headed toward her former room, where Ennis should be sleeping unless Lornarië had taken him somewhere else. He understood she was frightened by her recurring dreams, and by the fear that he would be injured or slain. Yet he knew not how to comfort her, or even himself.

There had been times in the past when he had relished the opportunity to wield his sword and his bow against the creatures of darkness, but not now. Now such a prospect held no appeal. Galadriel was correct; he was importuned by the timing of this conflict, yet he also felt he had no right to feel so torn between his duty and his inclination. His own weakness dismayed and worried him. Always he must be strong and focused, resolute and prepared to fight. For his people, for Amarië, and now for the world of men. Regardless of personal preferences, he would lead this army. The old alliances would be honored.

xxx

Ennis woke with his arm around Lornarië's waist, her delightful derriere tucked snugly against his bare thighs. What a strange dream he had been having! What could it have meant? It was something to do with . . . but already it was fading.

The knock that had awakened him was repeated, and he eased himself out of the small bed and pulled on his trousers before he opened the door.

Amarië and Haldir stood outside, their faces grim.

"What is it?" Ennis looked from one to the other of them. "What is wrong?"

Haldir thrust his way into the room without an invitation, and seemed unsurprised to find Lornarië sitting in the bed with the sheet clasped to her bosom, her blue eyes wide and quizzical. He acknowledged her with a curt nod before he turned to Ennis.

"I bear what may be unwelcome tidings. You and your people must leave at once."

Ennis heard Lornarië's gasp, and for an instant he thought this had something to do with her, that he had violated some strict elven rule by sleeping with her. "Why?"

The next few minutes unfolded quickly. Amarië explained the matter in part, but Ennis soon turned to Haldir. "Do you have need of me in this battle?" he asked. "Or can I be of assistance in guarding your borders?"

Surprised by the offer, Haldir surveyed his brother-in-law with increased respect. "No, you must leave, all of you. If it were only you, then yes, I might consider it. But the rest of the humans I do not trust. You must be sure you take them far away from here and keep the information I have given you to yourself. We do not want outsiders to know that Lothlórien will be so lightly protected."

Ennis frowned. "Of course, if that is your wish."

"We will take you down to the armory. Lord Celeborn has instructed me to give you one of our elven swords if you will accept it. It is enchanted with Elvish spells and very deadly. It should serve you well." Haldir's eyes shifted to Lornarië, who had not spoken a word thus far. "We will give you a moment to say your goodbyes."

They stepped outside, and Ennis turned and looked at the beautiful enchantress who had gifted him with a night he would always remember. He walked over to her and touched a finger to her soft cheek. "So already we part," he murmured. "Perhaps it is best. Another night in your company, and you would steal my heart forever."

"You have stolen mine already," she whispered. "How is that possible? You are a mortal."

He sat down on the edge of the bed and took her hand in his. "I am not so different from an elf, I think. Just the shape of my ears, and the fact that my body will age and yours will not. Otherwise, we are the same. We live and breathe and feel and think."

She moved closer and pressed a kiss on his lips. "I will pray to the Valar for your safety. You will come back to Lórien someday, and we will meet again."

"Perhaps I will come back," he agreed. "With my sister here, I have a sound reason. I think the Marchwarden will let me in."

Lornarië smiled bravely. "I think he will too. I will make sure of it."

xxx

Without telling Haldir where she was going, Amarië left his side while he took Ennis into the armory, and looked frantically around. She must find Ferodir. Where had he gone? He had just been here a moment ago! She darted across the grass, calling his name, heedless of the curious looks cast at her by several elves in the vicinity.

"Yes, princess?" drawled a familiar voice. "You search for me?"

She whirled around and found him standing almost directly behind her, one dark eyebrow cocked. "Ferodir, do you know? Do you know about the battle?"

He bowed slightly. "I have been told. We are all preparing."

"You are going then?"

"Of course. Most of us are."

She bit her lip, gazing up into his beautiful face with its astounding blue eyes and flawless features. "You know what I would ask of you?"

"I think so," he said gently. "Right now I am besieged with your emotions. You fear for the safety of the one you love."

"Yes," she admitted, grateful he did not tease. "But I do not want you to think me merely some foolish, weeping woman. There is a reason for my fears."

He nodded. "This bladed tooth business. Your dreams."

"You know of them?"

"I have been picking up pieces of your thoughts for days now, and occasionally at night." His wicked smile flashed. "Not thoughts concerning your more intimate moments, I hasten to add. Those I have been filtering out."

She did not bother to respond to this. "Please, you must promise me you will protect him! Something is going to happen to him, but I know not what it is. What you told me last night . . . about being able to tell if a wounded elf is still alive . . ."

He caught hold of her hands and held them firmly. "Amarië, I promise you I will do my best. I always do. But I must tell you that Haldir and I do not usually fight side by side. As a rule, he and I position ourselves at opposite ends of our regiment."

She looked at him, beseeching him with her eyes. "But perhaps this time you could stay together?"

Ferodir sighed. "My lovely one, you must understand that I will do what I am ordered to do. I am under the Marchwarden's authority just like all the other elves. In battle, that is. Not here in Lothlórien. But this I will promise you, if I see him fall, I will do everything in my power to reach his side, even if it means the loss of my own life. I know not if you realize this, but Haldir is like a brother to me." He grinned. "A much older, stubborn, pompous, and extremely annoying brother. One that is . . . much loved."

And with this she was forced to be satisfied.

xxx

Haldir watched his wife bid a tearful farewell to her brother, wishing he could do something to alleviate this double burden on her shoulders. This was certainly not the way he would have chosen for events to unfold. A few days ago, he had been anxious for Ennis to leave, now he wished he could ask him to stay. But he could not.

Already the elves of Lothlórien were donning their battle armor, and soon he would do the same. He had selected the elves who would remain to guard the borders, and some of these would be escorting Ennis and the rest of the mortals to the boundaries of their land.

He walked over to say his final farewell to Ennis, who now wore an elven sword strapped to his waist. "If you return to Lothlórien, you will be welcome here," he said, setting a hand on the young mortal's shoulder. "But I pray you choose your companions with care and wisdom. In general, humans are not—"

"—welcome in your land," Ennis finished with atypical and rather wry wit. "I have learned that. Take care of my sister, Marchwarden. And take care of yourself."

Haldir nodded. He noticed that Amarië still avoided his gaze, but he sensed it was not because she was angry with him, but because she feared she would break down and weep. All he yearned to do right now was to take her in his arms and kiss her, but of course he could not do that, not with all these others around. With iron resolve, he shoved the thought from his mind.

And then Ennis and the mortals were leaving, flanked by eight fully armed elves who understood completely what was required of them. Haldir watched Amarië walk away, knowing she meant to accompany her brother as far as the city gates. He sighed, taking in the sight of her as she moved rather forlornly across the grass, her chestnut hair lifting in the breeze, her blue gown billowing around her legs. His heart flipped over at the sight of her. He loved her so much.

He frowned slightly. Of course he would come back to her. Until recently he had only focused on the moment, never thinking of what lay ahead. The future had never held much allure to him before, being just a stretch of empty days lasting into eternity. It was how he had survived all these long years. Now the future mattered to him.

Yes, he would come back. They would have an eternity together—an eternity of days and nights, an eternity of passion, an eternity to learn and love and develop new interests. An eternity in which to bear and raise their children. Together they would sail to the Undying Lands, to that place of unending joy and perfect peace, to that place where on occasion even the Valar still walked. One day he would feel the call to go there . . .to go home to Valinor.

Once more he pushed his wayward thoughts aside. None of this would come to pass if he faltered now. He must prepare himself for war.

xxx

Amarië watched her brother disappear down the hill outside the city, a thousand memories of their lives together sifting though her thoughts. Then she spun around, seized with an idea. Gathering her skirts in her hand, she raced through the city, past mellyrn after mellyrn tree until she reached the greatest of them all, the one that held the talan of the Lord and Lady. Climbing the steps as fast as she could, she was panting with exertion by the time she reached the top. Guards stood outside the door, but they allowed her to pass as she timidly poked her head inside the audience chamber.

As she had hoped, Galadriel was inside. The Lady stood at one of her windows, gazing out upon her golden wood with deep sadness etched upon her features. "Come in, Amarië," she said quietly. "I've been expecting you."

Amarië entered and shut the door. "My lady," she said, touching her brow with respect, "I would speak with you, if I may."

Galadriel slowly turned and looked at her. "You desire to go with him."

"Would it be so wrong?" Amarië clenched her hands into fists. "I know there are females among his soldiers. He might allow it if you suggested it."

"If you go with him, you will both die."

Amarië stared at her. "You know this?"

Galadriel inclined her head. "My mirror shows me many things. That is the most probable outcome to such an action on your part."

Amarië's shoulders slumped. "Then I know not what to do," she whispered.

"On the contrary," the Lady's voice rang out clearly and distinctly, "you know exactly what to do. You know how to do it and when to do it. You have been preparing for this for years."

"For what, my lady?" Amarië spoke with sudden ferocity. "For what have I been preparing?"

"To face your Truth, child. The truth of who you are and what you are capable of doing and why you are here at this time and in this place. A chain of events is unfolding in which you play a part. Each link in that chain is small, yet each is just as important as the next. Your part may not seem large, but it has great value."

"You speak in riddles, my lady. And I am sorry if that seems impertinent."

Galadriel's smile was faint. "There can be much truth in a riddle. You must learn to trust, Amarië. Lack of trust is your great flaw."

"Who should I trust?" This also was a whisper.

"You trust yourself. And you trust those who love you, not just Haldir but others also. You are more loved than you realize."

Amarië was silent.

"Your grandfather and I are here to help you. When it is time for you to do that which you must do, we will be with you. Now go back to your husband. Spend these last minutes with him, and let him know your love for him so that he can carry it in his heart when he leaves. It will give him strength."

Amarië bowed her head. "Yes, my lady. I will do that."

xxx

By the time she returned to the armory, dozens of elves were milling about, many of them already garbed in their armor and carrying helmets under their arms. Amarië looked around for Haldir, but did not see him. Instead, she saw Rúmil and Orophin walking toward her, and was struck anew with dread on their behalf. Guiltily, she realized that she had been so focused on Haldir that she had barely spared a thought for sweet Rúmil and Orophin, both of whom she was beginning to love very dearly.

"Hello, little sister," Rúmil greeted with a grin. He appeared undaunted by the prospect of going to war, and indeed looked quite animated. "How do you like my fine armor? Do I not look quite dashing?"

She forced a smile, though she knew her eyes were growing moist. "Oh, yes, Rúmil, you look very fine. You and Orophin both look splendid and so handsome. But I do wish none of you were going!"

Orophin wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Do not worry for us, sweet sister Amarië. We will take care of each other. And we will both stay close to Haldir, unless he orders otherwise."

Now her eyes were truly full of tears. "You are both so dear to me, I want you to know that. I know we have not known each other very long, but . . ."

"But it has been long enough," Rúmil replied, "for love to grow." And he kissed her gently on the cheek and gave her another of his sweet smiles.

Orophin kissed her on the brow. "Pray to the Valar for our safe return, dear one. I love you also, as a brother loves his sister. We will come back to you. All of us." His eyes moved past her. "He wishes to speak with you. Go now, he is waiting."

Amarië turned around and felt her heart drop into her stomach. Haldir stood a short distance across the grass, wearing magnificent gold and black battle armor and a dark red cape. Unlike the other elves, he carried no helmet.

She walked over to him, her eyes clinging to his. His face betrayed no sign of what he was thinking. "Where is your helmet?" she asked him tensely.

"I do not wear one. As the one in command, I must be able to see and hear everything that is happening."

"I see." She swallowed painfully. "Haldir—"

"Amarië—"

They had spoken at the same time, and oddly, this broke the barrier between them.

He reached out and drew her close to him, and she pressed against him, her arms encircling his neck, ignoring the discomfort of his armor.

"Meleth, meleth," he murmured, "I am sorry I spoke harshly to you this morning. I know this is difficult for you."

"No, Haldir, it is I who am sorry. You have your duty. I was wrong to behave so childishly."

"You were only expressing your opinions and your feelings, and that you have the right to do. You are not one of my soldiers. You are my wife. I do not expect subservience from you."

She smiled through the tears now streaming openly down her cheeks. "Only obedience," she teased, her voice breaking on another small sob. "Subservience you will not get from me, meleth, although I will always make a reasonable attempt to please you. I want you to be happy. I want to make you happy."

"You do, you do," he whispered, and brushed his lips against her temple, then kissed her eyelids where the moisture leaked from beneath her lashes. "What I would give to be able to feel your flesh against mine one more time before I go."

"Come back to me, meleth nín. I love you so. I cannot live without you."

"You will never have to," he promised. He bent and kissed her hard on the lips, his hands on either side of her head. "Do not fear. I know you will pray for me, but when you do, pray also for my brothers and Ferodir. And all the rest."

"I will, I will." She smoothed her fingers over his beautiful pale hair, focusing on his small smile and the love she saw in his piercing gray eyes. "I am so proud of you. I know that all will be well. And I will pray for you and your brothers and all the other elves."

And then he had to draw away, for it was time for the elves of Lothlórien to make their way across their land to the place where they would join with the elves of Imladris.

From there, the combined army would march to Helm's Deep with as much fleetness as possible. For the time of the great battle grew near.

tbc