For disclaimer see previous chapter.

Arieslily17: I'm back! Finally. It's taken forever, but I finally finished the next chapter. This is so exciting for me...I've never had multiple chapters before.

Special thanks to Volume 10 of the Sailor Moon Manga. I got a lot of inspiration from it, and anyone who has read it will know that. Also, please note that Rei' birthday is April 17th.

Thanks also to SVZ, DTN, Chaos-chan, Ab, and Dragon Star for reviewing. I hope you all are still reading, and enjoy this just as much if not more. I really appreciate your encouragement!

Now, without further ado, onto the next chapter!

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I got the call last night.

Meaning, I received the annual phone call from my father, with the next lame excuse as to why he can't see me for my birthday. Every year is the same. At least for the last few years he's called for himself.

Every year, on the 3rd of April, exactly two weeks before my birthday, he would have someone call to tell me that unfortunately, he just wouldn't be able to make it to dinner this year. But I should go and take friends and maybe he would make it later. The problem with that was, I really didn't have any friends. He always sent someone to keep an eye on me, usually Kaido. It's like clockwork. And yet, every year I hope something will have changed. It never does, of course, I should be used to it by now, but it still hurts.

You know, the day started out well. I woke up late, well, eight A.M. which is late for me. I enjoy days off from school. I mean, I don't mind attending school, especially now that Trunks has taken to walking with me, but I can get so much more done sometimes, and I can take a little time for me.

Anyway, I was able to sleep late for once. I figured I had missed Trunks by then, so I decided to train for a while. Practice archery, fencing, tai chi, etc. I was really excited because I haven't been able to spend a lot of time on them recently. I got all ready in my favorite training outfit- black yoga pants, simple, dark red tank top, and sketchers. I pulled my hair back, got out the equipment, and set it up in the yard. I was just working through some exercises in total concentration, when guess who popped up the steps...I was especially hurt when I saw the amused smirk on his face. Then he said

"I just never figured you as the athletic type."

Needless to say, I got very upset. However, he seemed to apologized. I accepted and went back to my exercises. After watching for a while he did something I wasn't expecting. When I was practicing my swordplay, he appeared rather interested and he asked if I wanted to spar. I was shocked because the entire time he had just watched in silence. I was waiting for him to speak, but somehow I didn't think that was what he'd ask considering his earlier comment. I agreed, figuring I could use the practice. We decided on hand to hand only, no weapons.

It was incredible. It was the most challenging battle I've been in lately, friendly or otherwise. In the end, he won, but it had been close throughout. It was so much fun. For the rest of the day, we practiced together. He showed me some new moves with my sword, and I taught him archery. he'd never used a bow before. But sadly, he had to leave around 4 P.M. I cleaned up the yard and went inside to go help Grandpa with dinner.

By then, I had completely forgotten what day it was, so when the Temple's private phone line rang, I wasn't expecting it. Of course, it was my beloved father. He gave me the usual story, wished me a half-hearted early happy birthday, and hung up. About this time every year, I go into a small, quiet depression, which I tend to feel is justified. As far as I can tell, it's really not that noticeable, but I'm sure I look sad and tired for a while. Then I bounce right back. Well, not this year. This year I'm more angry than anything else.

But all the recent emotional upheavals and birthday memories have really made me think a lot. I've been reflecting about the men in my life, or at least, this latest incarnation. Going all the way back to the Silver Millennium would just be too much right now. I have enough with just the men in this lifetime.

I think I'll start with Grandpa. He's the only man I've known who has never left me, betrayed me, or disappointed me. I love him so much. He's the person who raised me, especially since Mama died. It hasn't always been easy, either. I was a moody child more often than not, due to lack of social interaction, which couldn't possibly have been easy for him. But Grandpa has always been incredibly strong of heart, if nothing else. Although now that I think of it, Grandpa was an accomplished martial artist in his day. I learned a lot of the more modern styles from him. Well, modern for me anyway. But I digress. The last couple of years have been really tough for both of us. For him, because his health and strength are not what they used to be and he's been sick much more often. His minor heart attack two years ago, though obviously not too harsh, did take its toll. For me, it's having to watch him suffer any pain, and see him not be able to do everything he used to, that's the difficult part. Sometimes I feel so helpless. Grandpa has cared for me, given me everything I need and want, and he gave me home and family when my mother died and my father no longer wanted me around. I have all this power and no way to use it to help him. I owe him so much, my entire life really. And I have no idea how I could ever repay him. He's the only man I trust, because he's the only one I know for sure won't hurt me. Grandpa is my family, my friend, and my stability. I would be lost without him.

Now onto Diet Member Hino of the Democratic Independence Party. The only thing we have in common at this point is our is that our DNA matches. When Mama died, I was a six year old carbon copy of her. Seeing as I was so young, I don't really remember a lot about what life with him was like. But I do remember a lot of yelling, fighting, and crying. I don't know if he ever abused her, but she wasn't happy. She was always so weak and sad.

My main theories about why he abandoned me are as follows:
1) I was too much of a reminder of Mama, and he couldn't handle it.
2) His career was too important and demanding to be hindered by the obligations of single
parenting, which he wasn't interested in doing anyway.

My younger years were wasted on assuming it was the first one. I have since grown a brain and realized there's a more likely chance it's the second. Recent evidence would suggest so anyway. I'd like to be able to say it doesn't bother me anymore, but I would be lying. How could he not want me? But I've thought about that so much...I'm coming to terms with it. I mean, I understand that his career is important, but isn't family as well? Ugh. This is why we as shintoists don't like politicians. They have little respect for the family, which is so vital for existence, for guidance...I can't dwell on him anymore.

Not long before Mama died, my father took on a protégée. It was probably the first good thing he'd ever done while I was alive. After I'd moved in with Grandpa, Kaido would stop by and visit quite often, sending my father's regards and just spending time with me like an older brother. He was the one who brought me my mother's necklace. She wore it every day, and he said Papa wanted me to have it, but I knew better. Kaido knew how much it meant to me. He was my only childhood friend besides Phobos and Deimos. One day, around a week before my thirteenth birthday, Kaido walked me home from school. This wasn't unusual, however, he brought up my birthday and asked if there was anything special I wanted that year. We passed a flower shop as I was thinking, and I saw the most beautiful white lily. He told me it was a Casablanca and said I would look good in white as the Casablanca suited me. It instantly became my favorite flower. That year for my birthday, I received an exquisite white dress and a bouquet of Casablancas. The next year I received another bouquet and another dress. Kaido took me out for my birthday, just the two of us. We talked the whole night and I realized we were kindred spirits. It was then that I think I fell in love with him. It was the happiest night of my life to that point. A few months later, just before I found out who I really am, I ran into him around town. He was with some woman, and he looked so happy. She was wearing an engagement ring. It made no sense to me, because we had both agreed we would never get married. I called my father and found out he had set up the whole thing. He said it was time for Kaido to settle down and grow up.

The news crushed me. I had never felt broken like that before in my life.

Kaido stopped by the temple a few days later with a book supposedly from my father. It was all about Casablancas, so I knew it couldn't have been from him. I confronted him about his engagement. He told me everything, and in turn, I told him that if he really wanted to be my father's successor...

He could have married me.

Then we did something I never thought would happen, that was so powerful and shattering that it has since ruined me.

We kissed.

And then he was gone, I was alone, and a little piece of me went with him. It was my first kiss, and probably my last, considering my current attitude toward most males.

He ended up marrying her after all. I declined my invitation, but I read the announcement in the newspaper a few weeks later. They included a picture from the wedding- she looked exuberant, of course, but he...He looked a little sad. I've always wondered about that look. So my heart broke even more, and I vowed that night I would never love another man, never marry, never make my children sad like my father did and Kaido would.

Then came my fifteenth birthday. Another white dress and another bouquet of Casablancas arrived. I cried when I saw them. By then, I had become friends with Usagi and Ami and knew of my destiny. They were my first real friends and they helped me through the pain, until I went to dinner that night. Kaido was waiting at the table and I had to suffer through him telling me all about his wife. How she's so wonderful and perfect. It was worse last year. Along with a dress, and a bouquet, I received the gift of him telling me they were expecting their first child in the fall. They had just gotten the news and he wanted to share. It was as if he had forgotten all about his promise to never have children, as if we had never...but then, I guess to him maybe we didn't.

It doesn't hurt as much anymore, but remembering it is hard to make myself do. I hope I don't have to see him this year. I don't need that pain. I'm tired of it all.

I hate dwelling on the past.

The present is a much nicer place.

Trunks Briefs. Relative of Bulma Briefs, multi-billionaire and daughter of the man who invented capsule technology. I'm not sure how they're related, but they look so much alike I could swear he was her son. Except she's not old enough to have a son his age. He's eighteen. But he lives with her and her...significant other. No one knows anything about that guy, except he's very strong and has a bad temper, and they may be married, may not. Trunks doesn't like to talk about them, which gives me the impression that he's hiding something about the whole situation. That doesn't inspire me to trust him. I mean I suppose that part of his life is the only thing he's keeping from me, but then again, that's a big part of one's life.

Trunks is so unlike any man I've ever met. When he first started visiting the temple, I could sense a hidden sadness deep inside him. Repressed memories, great failure...something like that. It was spread through his soul. Since then though, he seems a little bit less sad every time he he's here. There's an intrinsic darkness in him as well. That never changes. It's as if it's a part of him. Maybe it is, and that kind of scares me. I don't know...He's so confusing. And that sparing session yesterday? At times it almost felt like a dance, an incredibly intricate, darkly beautiful Tango that made it all just fit, perfectly. Moving in practice as one, the same fluid exercises flawlessly performed. And it seemed so familiar, like I've done it before.

I find myself thinking about him more and more often. Anymore, I'm not sure how I feel about that. I've always had every intention of upholding my vow. Never before was there a doubt in my mind that I would keep my promise. If I make a pledge, I stick to it for as long as is necessary. Only now, I catch myself pondering what it might be like to fall for him. To have what Usa has with Mamoru. I just...can't let my self think that, because it can't ever happen, as much as I may or may not want it to.

Sigh.

But even if it can't happen I still might want it to. Aye there's the rub, to quote Hamlet. Somehow this gorgeous member of the male species, which I have sworn, has managed to work his way into my brain and then start chipping away at the wall around my heart. And my defenses are practically useless against him. Not that they want to stop him...

What is wrong with me!?! I don't even know if he has any feelings for me, let alone romantic ones. I'm only asking for more hurt. And thinking about all these blasted emotional memories is doing little more than bring up bad, bittersweet feelings. So it's time to step back and face a new day, where hopefully I can take a break for a while.