I own not Neon Genesis Evangelion, for if I did I wouldn't be writing this... I'd turn it into an anime cartoon version ^_^

Eva Tours

The bus was currently approaching an elevator, this didn't seem to pose a problem (hey, the bus is inside NERV corridors without so much as a scratch, why should an elevator stop it?!). Once again a slight whirring noise occurred and this time a small rod began to extend towards the elevator's call-pad(you know, the button thing you press). To the pilots utter amazement, despite slightly expecting it, a small white hand popped out of the end and gave the 'Down' button a small push. The elevator doors pinged open and the bus entered the lift.

"OK ladies and gentleman, and kiddlewinks! Now it's just a short ride down to Central Command, which is where operations are controlled..." Asuka and Shinji soon grew bored of the Tour Guide's ramblings. Being the actual pilots they knew most of it already.

"OK Shinji, I'm gonna give you two seconds to figure out a way to get out of this." Asuka stated. "Too late, I'm gonna have to hurt you now!" she added.

"What! Wait! But it took you two seconds to finish the sente-" Shinji was cut short by Asuka's fist smashing into his jaw. Asuka loved the look on Shinji's face when he knew pain was imminent... and even more when said pain occurred.

Shinji got the feeling Asuka liked hurting him. So again, he retreated inside his head. 'I should just tell her how I feel, but then, she should already know, what with the trying to kiss her in her sleep and tellin' her next day and all...'

PING!

"Ladies and gentleman, we are now in Central Command. If you'll look straight ahead you'll see we are approaching the main command area, as I said before, this is where all operations are controlled, orders given, Eva's launched, and if neccessary, total annihalation is approved..." the guide let this sink in but saw no obvious signs of trauma. This was the most unnattached group she'd led, it was the first, and only time she, or anyone, had been given this tour and she'd expected the group to be more responsive. Especially those two kids that seemed to be on their own. She made a mental note to keep an eye on them...

The bus entered the area in which main people in Evangelion sit,(just know all the terms don't I!) the tech staff were currently engaged in a network game of Hearts on their terminals and the Comander, who actually had his hands away from his mouth (SHOCK HORROR! What is he doing?! I can't believe it!), was writing at his desk. And so it seemed only Fuyutski noticed the bus as he stared in wide-eyed surprise.

"Uh, Sir, sorry to bother you but-" he began.

"Not now Footsie, I'm conducting serious business here." Gendo interjected.

Fuyutski sighed.

"It's Fuyutski sir, and you're not conducting serious business, you're writing humorous limmericks for christmas crackers." he corrected his superior, "And it would seem there is a bus in here with us..." Fuyutski stared in amazement

Commander Ikari looked up.

Commander Ikari looked.

Commander Ikari looked some more.

He saw a bus.

This was odd. It was a blue bus and everybody knows buses are red, like in London. So of course this bus can't have been real. He dismissed it as a form of mass hallucination, which he explained to Footsie, um, Fuyutski.

Fuyutski would accept anything rather than believe a bus had managed to get this far unchallenged while several gigantic monstrosities with special powers had failed(that's the Angels ya see).

"Indeed sir"

On the bus, Shinji and Asuka breathed a sigh of relief, the bus's exterior microphones(hot damn, this bus got everything!) had picked up the brief conversation. 'That was too close' thought Shinji, 'I thought for sure father was going to have us destroyed'

'Ah' the guide thought to herself, 'The paint thing worked'

"SHINJI!" Asuka yelled into his ear for the third time, "Stop thinking to yourself and get off the bus now, we're getting out to have a look around."

The other passengers had already clambered off the bus and were waiting for the pilots. (Seem to have a thing for making people wait, don't they? Makes ya wonder^_^) Shinji and Asuka got off the bus to join the group. They nervously looked up towards the group of NERV employees where they sat but had nothing to worry about as Gendo was currently reciting his latest masterpiece,

"Ok? So there was this man from the docks, and this man, he liked to stroke..."

The guide began to describe the surrounding area, again. She seemed to have forgotten that she had already said this bit several times on the bus. Asuka looked around her, they were currently standing on the lowest level of that big ol' metal place in front of the map. It was interesting, Asuka had never been to this level before and the holographic map was gigantic from down here. Especially seeing as it was projected over that sheer drop.

"Weeee! Lookat me!" yelled the annoying little kid from earlier on, he was walking very carefully along the ledge.

"Please come down from there!" cried the guide, clearly distraught that a small child was about to lose his life, she began carefully edging her way towards him until Asuka decided to take matters into her own hands.

"That's it. Watch out. Coming through. Hey! Move it or lose it sister!" she shouted at a nun that happened to be standing in her way. She strode up to the boy but as she went to grab him, she 'accidentally' pushed him off the ledge.

"Aaaarrgghhh!", the little freak screamed all the way down. Nobody said a thing until they heard a faint *thump* and "oooowwwww" from down below.

"Hmmm, guess I forgot I'm not very good with my co-ordination." Asuka stated as she pulled off a perfect backflip to land next to Shinji, who was now absorbed into his own little world again as he had just seen up Asuka's skirt when she backflipped. Asuka, being no fool, realised this and delivered such a blow to the side of his head he started to join the kid below until Unit 001 burst through the wall and caught him by the back of his shirt and carefully placed him back on the other side of the group waaayyy away from Asuka before retreating back through the wall.

Asuka began shouting through the new large hole in the wall, all the guide could pick up was "Unit 02! You better activate too and-"

A large *CLANG* resounded from the hole in the wall and a familiar roar could be detected just before Unit 01 limped through holding it's behind.

The NERV staff had noticed this but as it was related to the bus incident it also couldn't possibly have been real. Gendo went back to writing, 'There once was a woman from Diragina, who had a massive...'

The guide, however, knew this was real and decided to make a note that the giant robot thing had saved the boy.

And then she made another note to stay the hell away from the girl.

"Ladies and gentleman, if you'll follow me back to the bus I think it's time to go to another area." she chimed.

=============================================================== Did that seem lame to you? It did to me, tried to spice it up but my computer was really screwed, was running Widows ME, but had to format the drive and was running Win95 in safe mode (Anybody who doesn't understand that, LEARN MORE ABOUT COMPUTERS YA BUMS! ) at the time of this chapter's being written. Anyway, it basically means my computer didn't have sound, high colour or internet and I couldn't play games 'cos the cd drives wouldn't be detected. So all I could do was write and look at pretty pictures in crap colour. And it explains why I didn't put this chapter up sooner.