Title: Jumping Through Hoops
Spoilers: Season 5, after Checkpoint and The Body
Disclaimers: Nothing is mine, all is Joss' and ME. I only wish I was half
as talented.
Feedback: Please oh please. I love it, and it helps to encourage me
Notes: Only one more chapter after this to wrap things up. Many thanks to
Marsterslady, my co-conspirator.
Rating: R for this part
Chapter 5
The last place Buffy wanted to take Ethan was into her bedroom, but she didn't have much choice. She just hoped he'd refrain from his usual sexual comments. She knew that would only be wishful thinking however.
"I don't suppose I could interest you in a brief interlude here in your room, where we might explore the pleasures of the flesh?"
She really didn't want to provoke him more, so she just glared at him menacingly as she approached her dresser where Mr. Gordo sat protecting her domain.
"No? Well then, this must be the pig that is so dear and near to your heart?" he arched his brow at the dresser. "I must admit some small curiosity in meeting this object of your affections." He guffawed.
" Try anything, and I'll give you a new piercing with that earring you're so hot for."
"Yes, luv, but the back of my throat would get all achy, and we can't have that, can we? Besides, Rupert wouldn't take too kindly to that I don't think. Besides, didn't anyone ever teach you that you should never make promises you don't intend to keep?" His humor began to dissipate when she turned towards him with a glower. "Alright then, let's have this stuffed farm animal, upon whom you've misplaced so much affection." Buffy turned around and looked at Mr. Gordo longingly. She didn't want Ethan's grubby hands on it. As he reached for the pig though, he noticed Buffy stiffen up and suck in her breath. "Wait! What's going on?" She turned and looked into his face. "What did you do with Mr. Gordo?"
"What?" he asked confused, as he picked up the pig. He turned it over to see where the patch was on it's belly. "What was Anya talking about? This pig is in pristine condition. And no patch! What are you playing at?"
Buffy just looked at the pig cradled now in Ethan's arms. "That's not Mr. Gordo. That's a brand new pig." Tears began to flow down Buffy's cheeks. "Where is Mr. Gordo?"
Ethan tore the pig's head off, and started to tear out it's innards, searching desperately for the gold hoop. Buffy backed up until she was sitting on her bed, bent over in her grief. Mr. Gordo was gone. Where?
A shadow fell upon the floor between the ranting Ethan and Buffy's prone form. The Slayer and sorcerer both looked up to see Spike darkening the entrance. He pulled out his hands from underneath his coat. In one hand he held Mr. Gordo. In his other hand sat the golden hoop earring.
"Looking for these?" He grinned.
"Mr. Gordo! You have Mr. Gordo!" She glared at Spike. "Why do you have Mr. Gordo?"
"Er, uh, well pet, you see.I just wanted.I needed.I borrowed him this morning."
"Borrowed him!? Then why is there a fake brand new stuff pig on my dresser? Did you think I wouldn't notice?"
"Well, I guess Mr. Gordo is irreplaceable, bloody hell. Hey, I'm here to rescue you, so bloody shut your mouth and let me, okay?"
Buffy opened her mouth to yell at him again, but was cut off by Ethan. "Who are you? And hand over that earring right this minute, you pillock!"
"I'm William the Bloody. I'm sure you've heard of me, yes?"
Ethan blanched. He had indeed heard of this vicious vampire. He looked at Buffy. "Why haven't you staked him? Isn't he a vampire, and you are a vampire slayer. Slacking on your sodding job now?"
"I'll have you know I've killed two slayers, mate." Spike growled. "And I've sliced and diced my fair share of sorcerers too."
"Don't worry, I'll stake him for hurting Mr. Gordo after we're through with you, Ethan. You do have a plan I hope Spike?"
Spike looked at the slayer "You're the planner, I'm the executor!"
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Well, that's just great."
Spike advanced towards Ethan. Buffy realized that he meant to hurt Ethan. "Don't hurt him Spike, he placed some spell on Giles, and you'll hurt him too!"
"I know. Giles told me."
"Giles told you? You've seen him? Is he okay?"
"I made Anya take him to the hospital. He's fine, or at least no worse off then when you left him. Willow was meeting them at hospital. She prolly already took the spell off of him."
Ethan began to back away from the vampire, heading towards the window for escape, and holding his hands up to try and placate the vampire, still holding the other stuffed pig's remains in his hands. Buffy easily tore through her bonds, and jumped up to stand in front of Ethan.
"I really want to pound on you right now, but since I'm still not sure I won't be hurting Giles too, I won't. But if I ever see you again, I'll slay you. I don't care if you are not a vampire or a demon. You are more evil than many of them, and killing evil is my duty."
Spike advanced towards Ethan. He glanced down at Buffy and frowned. "Sorry, pet, but there is one thing I must do before you let him go." Spike reached up and ripped the other earring out of Ethan's ear. He howled in pain as his jagged ear bled profusely, dripping down his neck and onto his shirt. Ethan, whimpering, hauled up the window and jumped out onto the roof and into the night.
"I'm sure that didn't hurt your Watcher, pet. Willow knows what she is doing."
Buffy reluctantly had to agree with him, and it was good that they had both hoops. She took them out of his hands and placed them in her pocket. "I know what to do with these now." Then she took Mr. Gordo out of his other hand, kissed it lovingly on the nose, and returned the stuffed pig to it's home on her dresser. Then she hauled back and punched Spike in the nose with all she was worth.
"Ow!" he howled, grabbing his nose with both hands. "What the bloody hell did you do that for!?"
"That was for stealing Mr. Gordo! The only reason I'm not staking you is because you saved Giles. Now leave my house now!"
"Bloody thanks I get." he mumbled as he left her house. It was dark now, and he thought he'd go to Willy's and get a stiff drink. He needed one after this day!
Chapter 5
The last place Buffy wanted to take Ethan was into her bedroom, but she didn't have much choice. She just hoped he'd refrain from his usual sexual comments. She knew that would only be wishful thinking however.
"I don't suppose I could interest you in a brief interlude here in your room, where we might explore the pleasures of the flesh?"
She really didn't want to provoke him more, so she just glared at him menacingly as she approached her dresser where Mr. Gordo sat protecting her domain.
"No? Well then, this must be the pig that is so dear and near to your heart?" he arched his brow at the dresser. "I must admit some small curiosity in meeting this object of your affections." He guffawed.
" Try anything, and I'll give you a new piercing with that earring you're so hot for."
"Yes, luv, but the back of my throat would get all achy, and we can't have that, can we? Besides, Rupert wouldn't take too kindly to that I don't think. Besides, didn't anyone ever teach you that you should never make promises you don't intend to keep?" His humor began to dissipate when she turned towards him with a glower. "Alright then, let's have this stuffed farm animal, upon whom you've misplaced so much affection." Buffy turned around and looked at Mr. Gordo longingly. She didn't want Ethan's grubby hands on it. As he reached for the pig though, he noticed Buffy stiffen up and suck in her breath. "Wait! What's going on?" She turned and looked into his face. "What did you do with Mr. Gordo?"
"What?" he asked confused, as he picked up the pig. He turned it over to see where the patch was on it's belly. "What was Anya talking about? This pig is in pristine condition. And no patch! What are you playing at?"
Buffy just looked at the pig cradled now in Ethan's arms. "That's not Mr. Gordo. That's a brand new pig." Tears began to flow down Buffy's cheeks. "Where is Mr. Gordo?"
Ethan tore the pig's head off, and started to tear out it's innards, searching desperately for the gold hoop. Buffy backed up until she was sitting on her bed, bent over in her grief. Mr. Gordo was gone. Where?
A shadow fell upon the floor between the ranting Ethan and Buffy's prone form. The Slayer and sorcerer both looked up to see Spike darkening the entrance. He pulled out his hands from underneath his coat. In one hand he held Mr. Gordo. In his other hand sat the golden hoop earring.
"Looking for these?" He grinned.
"Mr. Gordo! You have Mr. Gordo!" She glared at Spike. "Why do you have Mr. Gordo?"
"Er, uh, well pet, you see.I just wanted.I needed.I borrowed him this morning."
"Borrowed him!? Then why is there a fake brand new stuff pig on my dresser? Did you think I wouldn't notice?"
"Well, I guess Mr. Gordo is irreplaceable, bloody hell. Hey, I'm here to rescue you, so bloody shut your mouth and let me, okay?"
Buffy opened her mouth to yell at him again, but was cut off by Ethan. "Who are you? And hand over that earring right this minute, you pillock!"
"I'm William the Bloody. I'm sure you've heard of me, yes?"
Ethan blanched. He had indeed heard of this vicious vampire. He looked at Buffy. "Why haven't you staked him? Isn't he a vampire, and you are a vampire slayer. Slacking on your sodding job now?"
"I'll have you know I've killed two slayers, mate." Spike growled. "And I've sliced and diced my fair share of sorcerers too."
"Don't worry, I'll stake him for hurting Mr. Gordo after we're through with you, Ethan. You do have a plan I hope Spike?"
Spike looked at the slayer "You're the planner, I'm the executor!"
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Well, that's just great."
Spike advanced towards Ethan. Buffy realized that he meant to hurt Ethan. "Don't hurt him Spike, he placed some spell on Giles, and you'll hurt him too!"
"I know. Giles told me."
"Giles told you? You've seen him? Is he okay?"
"I made Anya take him to the hospital. He's fine, or at least no worse off then when you left him. Willow was meeting them at hospital. She prolly already took the spell off of him."
Ethan began to back away from the vampire, heading towards the window for escape, and holding his hands up to try and placate the vampire, still holding the other stuffed pig's remains in his hands. Buffy easily tore through her bonds, and jumped up to stand in front of Ethan.
"I really want to pound on you right now, but since I'm still not sure I won't be hurting Giles too, I won't. But if I ever see you again, I'll slay you. I don't care if you are not a vampire or a demon. You are more evil than many of them, and killing evil is my duty."
Spike advanced towards Ethan. He glanced down at Buffy and frowned. "Sorry, pet, but there is one thing I must do before you let him go." Spike reached up and ripped the other earring out of Ethan's ear. He howled in pain as his jagged ear bled profusely, dripping down his neck and onto his shirt. Ethan, whimpering, hauled up the window and jumped out onto the roof and into the night.
"I'm sure that didn't hurt your Watcher, pet. Willow knows what she is doing."
Buffy reluctantly had to agree with him, and it was good that they had both hoops. She took them out of his hands and placed them in her pocket. "I know what to do with these now." Then she took Mr. Gordo out of his other hand, kissed it lovingly on the nose, and returned the stuffed pig to it's home on her dresser. Then she hauled back and punched Spike in the nose with all she was worth.
"Ow!" he howled, grabbing his nose with both hands. "What the bloody hell did you do that for!?"
"That was for stealing Mr. Gordo! The only reason I'm not staking you is because you saved Giles. Now leave my house now!"
"Bloody thanks I get." he mumbled as he left her house. It was dark now, and he thought he'd go to Willy's and get a stiff drink. He needed one after this day!
