Marvel owns the X-Men and related characters not me. Feel free to post. Takes place in an alternate third season that diverges sometime after "The Toad, the Witch and the Wardrobe." And, Spyke's powers are not going out of control.
The X-Jet had landed just outside of the fence enclosing Sinister's base.
Kurt 'ported Boom-Boom over the fence. Boom-Boom was pretty psyched at being out at 2 in the morning despite, or maybe because of, the danger involved in this attack. Magneto had helped them to disable most of Sinister's defenses, and from the mansion, Kitty had managed to hack in and disable most of the rest. Doctor Essex had apparently connected his computer to a lot of networks in an attempt to monitor the world, and she was able to attack back through the connection.
Boom-Boom walked over to the door and made four "bombs." Kurt 'ported back to the main group. The bombs exploded, creating a gaping hole in the front of the mansion.
Suddenly a dark-haired man with sideburns appeared. "Leave. Now."
Boom-Boom threw a bomb at him. He dodged it, and then lifted his walking stick. Suddenly roots popped out of the ground and enveloped Tabby. She screamed, but then her mouth was covered as well. Just then a glowing rectangle hit the base of the roots, exploding and destroying them. Logan then appeared and cut the roots that were around Tabby, freeing her.
A spiked shillelagh came crashing down on Logan's head. Then another of the glowing rectangles hit the sideburned man with the stick and exploded, knocking him over and out.
"Dat's de three o 'hearts. Pow'ful 'nough to knock ya out, but will keep ya alive fer questionin'," stated Gambit, holding another glowing rectangle, which was revealed to be a playing card when he reabsorbed the charge.
"Ramrod!" shouted a voice. A pink-haired man and a bald man with tremendous eyebrows stepped out of the door. The bald man grew much bigger and tried to crush Gambit by pounding him, but Gambit jumped away. Suddenly flames and spikes were being shot at the man. Amara, Spyke and Pyro were attacking, Pyro using Amara's flames rather than his own flamethrowers in an attempt to save fuel. The pink-haired man looked on with amusement, and then opened his mouth wider than any human should be able to.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Amara, Spyke, Gambit and Pyro were bowled over by this loud scream.
"Aw, mate," said an Australian-sounding voice. "Ya got a problem with Ruckus here? Well, ya did attack Slab, ya know. Come ta Gorgeous, honey!"
Gambit looked up in time to see a pair of very large hands grab him. He was pulled towards a blackish-purplish tar man. He charged a card and threw it into the tar man, but he absorbed the explosion pretty well, expanding and then pulling himself together.
"Gorgeous don't like bein' rejected, pretty boy!"
"Eat ice!" Bobby appeared and froze the tar man's body. He dropped Gambit on the ground.
"AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!"
Bobby was knocked over, and Amara, Spyke, Pyro, Tabby, and Logan, all of whom were on the ground, were pushed several feet backwards. Gambit had not been affected, not being in the direct path of the blast, but was still recovering from the previous blast and from the tar man's rough handling. Suddenly the pink-haired man felt a hard punch on his throat and in the next second was unconscious.
"Therethatoughtadoit," said Pietro. "Whataloudmouth." He then began to taunt the tall, bald man, who kept trying to pound him to the ground.
The tar man apparently had some ability to warm himself up, as he was suddenly thawed again. He picked up Gambit and pulled him into himself, trying to smother him with tar. Logan, recovering, noticed this and rushed to attack the bald man in order to free up Pietro.
"Pietro! Tornado! Now!"
Pietro nodded and ran to the tar man. He began running in circles, until he created a whirlwind that sucked the tar up into itself. Gambit's head quickly stuck out and he drew sharp, wheezing breaths. Pietro pulled him out of the whirlwind, then continued to run, eventually scattering the tar man all over the landscape. Gambit was safe, but he was too weak to move now.
"Gorgeous! No!" hollered the bald man, with what sounded like an Austrian accent. "Suggs! Where are you?"
"Does somewoon want Hairbag?" hollered a voice with an exaggerated Jamaican accent. A large, dark-skinned man that looked sort of like a black version of Sabretooth jumped into Wolverine. Suddenly Hairbag's rather extensive body hair turned into sharp quills, and he tore into Logan with claws. Pietro ran towards him, and was brought down with a large slash to his left side with Hairbag's claws.
All seemed lost, until Hairbag flew into the bald man. "Uggh! Hairbag, what did you do that for?"
"I didn't, Slab! I wuz pushed!"
"What the..." Slab and Hairbag found themselves lifted into the air. Jean Gray walked towards them, her hands on her head. "Who are you?"
"We're mercenaries!" sneered the bald-headed man, Slab. "We work for pay, and the master pays us well! We're the Nasty Boys! Ruckus, Ramrod, Hairbag, Slab, and Gorgeous George!"
"Wasn't he a wrestler?"
"No, but he's named after one!"
Suddenly a girl with green sunglasses walked out. She removed her glasses and blasted Jean Gray with a green optic blast. Luckily, the girl's powers were fluctuating in their intensity, so she was just knocked out, not killed. Slab and Hairbag were dropped to the ground, where they began to recover their balance. She was about to attack Logan as well when one of Tabby's bombs dropped at her feet and exploded. She just managed to dodge it, but she was distracted enough for Logan to rabbit-punch her out.
"Just a kid. But a dangerous one," hissed Logan. He ran over to Jean and shook her awake. "C'mon, we gotta retreat! Slab and Hairbag are still conscious!" Indeed, they had gotten up and were running at Jean and Logan. Gorgeous was also apparently recovering, with great globs of tar moving towards each other and combining like the T-1000 from Terminator 2. "Can you 'teek' 'em?" he asked.
"No, I can't use my telekinesis... I'm too weak. But I can telepathically wake everyone who is out and get them to ignore their pain so we can run back to the X-Jet..."
She did so, and the X-Men ran from the Nasty Boys, and the jet took off.
Meanwhile, inside the base, Magneto was attempting to access a computer terminal to figure out where they were. "The diversion worked. You were able to 'port us all inside."
"Ja. Zanks to Forge's new invention allowing for safer blind teleports. I'm so glad I let Forge gauge my abilities, even if I vasn't glad at the time." Kurt shuddered, remembering the monsters in the Hellish dimension he 'ported through, that had escaped into Bayville High.
"So, it's just you, Cyclops, Rouge, and I. We will rescue little Talia, don't you worry."
