I walked in the next day with Hotaru. Dropping her off by Dr. Mizuno, I
went to apologize to Michiru, the woman whose sister I had killed.
I entered the room she was in. She looked at me with frozen cold eyes. She clutched her arm hard, so hard I could almost feel the grip of her hand. She regarded me with narrowed eyes. A look of unpleasantness slid across her face.
"I just came to say..."
"She deserved to live," Michiru said harshly, "I wish you had died instead."
"I..." I was shocked at her response. Here I was trying to be nice and all she could say that she wished I had died? I put a straight face on and started again.
"I am honestly sorry." I said firmly.
"Your sorry can't bring my sister back."
"If there is anything I can do..." I tried to soften her up once again.
"Can you bring back my sister?" The sudden question startled me.
"No."
"Then there is nothing you can do." She had gotten the final word. There was nothing more I could say. Defeated I left her be.
************************************************************************
I wanted her to leave me alone. When she finally did I felt the tears surface. I suppressed them and looked out the window. The sky was blue and clear. The weather was just right. It was opposite of last night. Last night there had been cackling of thunder and the violent rain. I still remembered how she had looked in the middle of the road, illuminated in the headlights, her soaked hair and clothes stuck to her body. Swallowing a sob I left the room and walked down to talk to the doctor about the funeral.
When I got to the doctor's office there was no one there but a little child and a nurse. The nurse looked at me and gave me a pleasant smile. The little girl on the table gave me a toothless grin. She was utterly adorable and I had to smile back. I walked toward her and touched her cheek. Suddenly she grabbed a handful of my hair.
"Ow!" I said half smiling.
"Oh Hotaru let the nice lady go!" the nurse scolded. Hotaru giggled in response and pulled my hair harder.
"It's ok," I said a laugh escaping me. I softly untangled her chubby fingers out of my hair and smiled at her.
"She always does that to her father too," the nurse commented, "Pulls his hair but he never complains." I gave her a polite smile and left the room. Walking down I realized that I had laughed. I had actually laughed. It hit me in a shock that Kuchiri would never laugh again. I had no right to laugh when she could never do anything again. I felt tears come and this time I let them flow.
************************************************************************
After Hotaru's appointment I took her and went to the car. Strapping her in the car seat I sat down and looked at her through the rear view mirror. She was pulling her seat belt. She never liked things that restrained her. I smiled.
"It's just for a little while." I said, "We'll be home in no time." At my voice she looked up and grinned at me. I started the car and drove home. On the way back I saw the Michiru. I wondered what she would do with her life now. How will she live all alone? I hoped that she would find the family and comfort that I had found in Hotaru. She looked at me as I was passing by. I was pretty sure she recognized the car, since this was the same car that killed...anyhow she looked at me and maybe it was just me, but she gave me a look of pure venom that sent chills through my entire body.
I entered the room she was in. She looked at me with frozen cold eyes. She clutched her arm hard, so hard I could almost feel the grip of her hand. She regarded me with narrowed eyes. A look of unpleasantness slid across her face.
"I just came to say..."
"She deserved to live," Michiru said harshly, "I wish you had died instead."
"I..." I was shocked at her response. Here I was trying to be nice and all she could say that she wished I had died? I put a straight face on and started again.
"I am honestly sorry." I said firmly.
"Your sorry can't bring my sister back."
"If there is anything I can do..." I tried to soften her up once again.
"Can you bring back my sister?" The sudden question startled me.
"No."
"Then there is nothing you can do." She had gotten the final word. There was nothing more I could say. Defeated I left her be.
************************************************************************
I wanted her to leave me alone. When she finally did I felt the tears surface. I suppressed them and looked out the window. The sky was blue and clear. The weather was just right. It was opposite of last night. Last night there had been cackling of thunder and the violent rain. I still remembered how she had looked in the middle of the road, illuminated in the headlights, her soaked hair and clothes stuck to her body. Swallowing a sob I left the room and walked down to talk to the doctor about the funeral.
When I got to the doctor's office there was no one there but a little child and a nurse. The nurse looked at me and gave me a pleasant smile. The little girl on the table gave me a toothless grin. She was utterly adorable and I had to smile back. I walked toward her and touched her cheek. Suddenly she grabbed a handful of my hair.
"Ow!" I said half smiling.
"Oh Hotaru let the nice lady go!" the nurse scolded. Hotaru giggled in response and pulled my hair harder.
"It's ok," I said a laugh escaping me. I softly untangled her chubby fingers out of my hair and smiled at her.
"She always does that to her father too," the nurse commented, "Pulls his hair but he never complains." I gave her a polite smile and left the room. Walking down I realized that I had laughed. I had actually laughed. It hit me in a shock that Kuchiri would never laugh again. I had no right to laugh when she could never do anything again. I felt tears come and this time I let them flow.
************************************************************************
After Hotaru's appointment I took her and went to the car. Strapping her in the car seat I sat down and looked at her through the rear view mirror. She was pulling her seat belt. She never liked things that restrained her. I smiled.
"It's just for a little while." I said, "We'll be home in no time." At my voice she looked up and grinned at me. I started the car and drove home. On the way back I saw the Michiru. I wondered what she would do with her life now. How will she live all alone? I hoped that she would find the family and comfort that I had found in Hotaru. She looked at me as I was passing by. I was pretty sure she recognized the car, since this was the same car that killed...anyhow she looked at me and maybe it was just me, but she gave me a look of pure venom that sent chills through my entire body.
