Indeed.
Plot needs to move *gets behind plot and shoves it along*
Yeah, Sophy is the bomb ^_^ And nooo ... I don't normally talk like that. Yayness.
--Author #2, who refuses to be called the #1 author because it would stand to reason that Author #1 is the #1 Author, because 2 is not 1, and 2 can never be 1, and for grammatical reasons if nothing else. Oh heck, just call me Khay. Or maybe Darin. I don't know, and I don't care. Pick one.
-----------------------
(8)
Elle, Amber and Capri looked around frantically for Britney. It had seemed as if she had simply disappeared without a trace - although, just thinking about it (and that in itself was hard work), did anyone ever vanish with a trace?
Perhaps it was one of life's little secrets. Yes. That must be it.
Something of a discontented grunt issued from the space to the left of Amber. Open-jawed, Elle reached out with her hand to see what was there. Her hand touched something warm and very much solid; she shrieked and leapt backwards, tripping over the homie with the very big sword.
A loud 'Geroff! Geroff meh!' ensued, but it wasn't loud enough to block out Britney's next comment.
'I swear this thing is only eighteen carats gold,' she said, sounding suitably puzzled. There was a slight popping noise and she re-appeared, holding the Ring in her hand. Gimli threw his battle axe aside and leapt at her with a furious roar. Britney screamed for fear of short, ugly men who braided their beards and were thus obviously homosexuals. They tussled on the ground for a moment, the girl scrambling as far away from him as she could get, but he would not back off.
'Why do YOU have the Ring?' he demanded. 'Where's Frodo, and Aragorn, and the rest of them? What've you done with them? By my uncle Balin, if they're hurt in any way-'
'If yeh hurt her in any way-' the wielder of the big, manly sword interrupted threateningly. 'I'll ... I'll ...'
His companion homie, blessed with sudden inspiration, nudged his friend and whispered in his ear. Big Sword turned to grin at his friend. Greasy Stubble grinned back.
(Author's Interruption/Warning: Extremely bad dialogue ensues. I have no idea how homies talk so ... don't shoot me. I'm sort of imagining Snake, from the Simpsons with his "Thanksss amigoss. Boi!")
'I'll take yer head off with this sword o' mine,' Big Sword said dramatically, though it sounded like he was reciting words from a play. He turned to face Greasy Stubble. 'Connor, my man, you are so good at this thing.'
Connor slapped his friend's shoulder. 'Indeed, I am.'
'Okay, enough of this!' proclaimed Richie, formerly known as Legolas. Sophie was cuddled at his side, still clad in monochromatic grey robes, pointy hat aside. One of his arms was wrapped protectively around her shoulders; the other was on his hips.
'I think we've all had enough of this - this prank,' he continued boldly. 'And we want it to end. Right now.'
They waited for a few moments.
Nothing happened.
'What do we do now?' said Sophie, clinging to Richie's arm all the tighter.
'Never fear,' he told her and the rest of the company. 'I didn't really expect anyone to own up to this. That was Plan A, anyway.'
'Then what's plan B?' Capri ventured.
'Plan B? We go along with it, of course!' he said airily. 'It can only go on for so long - until the story runs out. So all we have to do is get to the end of the story.'
There was a murmur of general agreement. But this miraculous plan, brilliant as it was, still had some faults.
'Okay ...' said Britney, thinking that this sounded simple enough. 'So ... how does the story go?'
Sophie spoke up. 'We studied the books in first year uni. All we have to do is get that -' she pointed to the Ring in Britney's hand '- to there.' She nodded in the direction of the ominous, dark-looking mountains on the eastern horizon.
'Okay,' Amber shrugged. 'That's easy. I can't believe they made a movie out of this.'
'Let's get started then,' suggested Connor.
Gimli, though somewhat dazed about the happenings of the last few minutes, followed them down the mountain haplessly. At least, he thought, they had some idea about what they were supposed to do.
-----------------------
(9)
Several things had clicked for Ant during that conversation. The confusion had all started when she had seen the "clique" in to see a vampire movie. How peculiar. Then, if that wasn't strange enough, they had metamorphosized before her very eyes into several admittedly good looking people (at least they were the right gender to be good looking this time). But now, she thought she had it all figured out.
'I know who you are!' she shouted, getting out of the plush cinema seat. Her eyes fixed upon Frodo, now considerably less pathetic (thank the mighty Elendil for that). Frodo cowered away as she advanced on him, and Aragorn laid his hand on the hilt of his sword. 'You're Elijah Wood.'
Frodo looked around, as if she might have been talking to someone else, and made a face. 'Elijah? Who's he? And what kind of name IS that?'
Ant looked furious for a couple of reasons. 'Elijah is a VERY nice name,' she insisted. 'A very nice name for a very nice person.' She grinned fangirlishly. 'If that is you Elijah ... I want you to know that I'm you're biggest fan ...'
She swallowed hard, and continued. 'And if you're not Elijah, like you say, then you must be Frodo Baggins.'
Frodo cast a nervous look up at Gandalf, blouse and all. 'No,' he said finally. 'You must be talking about some other Frodo. I'm ... er ... Frodo Underhill.'
'No, you're not,' Ant countered. 'You're Frodo Baggins.'
'Underhill,' insisted Frodo.
'Baggins.'
'UNDERHILL!' screamed Frodo, his voice echoing off the walls of the cinema. Legolas covered his delicate Elf ears with a wince of heroic fortitude.
'I know a Baggins,' Pippin said suddenly, his eyes glazed over and his voice dreamy. 'Frodo Baggins, over there. He's my second cousin, once removed on his Mother's side.'
Sam's eyes grew shifty. 'You've said that before, Master Pippin, if I'm not mistaken.'
Ant blinked. 'Hold that thought,' she said urgently, and made for the cinema door. The mismatched, cross-dressed Fellowship stared at each other as she ran out, calling, 'Don't move a muscle!'
Outside, in the hallway, Ant slipped two coins into the payphone and dialed furiously. A hoarse, still-asleep voice greeted her on the other side of the line.
'Yeah?' Khay's voice was distracted.
'This is Ant,' the bearer of the name stated, unable to contain her excitement.
'Hello Ant,' Khay said. Then, in a more sinister tone, 'What're you doing at this time in the morning?'
'I'm at the cinema ... I wanted to see Queen of the Damned on its first day out, you know, and you won't believe who I met here.'
'Elijah Wood?' Her voice perked somewhat.
'Nooooo,' Ant dragged the word out. 'But I met the next best person-'
'Viggo Mortensen?' Khay was positively squealing now. Ant's expression darkened.
'Khay, Viggo Mortensen is three times your age.'
There was a disgrunted silence so she continued. 'Never mind about Viggo Mortensen, because - and I know you won't believe me the first time around, and that's why I want you to get up here as fast as you can, but - the Fellowship are here in the cinema.'
'You're not serious,' Khay still sounded annoyed that Ant had ruined her moment.
'I am - look, just come around to Chadstone - I swear, that's all. I want you to see this. How soon can you be here?'
A yawn. 'If I get out of bed in fifteen minutes, I can be there in twenty.'
'Get out of bed now!' directed Ant, and she hung up. She turned around, and facefaulted.
Eight figures, horribly dressed, were just coming out of a cinema - one of them carrying a highly visible and authentic-looking sword. They were already attracting giggles and stares from onlookers, and they hadn't even gone anywhere yet.
Well, they wouldn't be going anywhere if Ant could help it. She hurried over to them, trying to look nonchalant at the same time. It wasn't easy.
'What're you doing?' she hissed at them, waving her hands in their faces. 'Get back in there. You're attracting attention.'
'Enough of your warnings, girl,' Boromir said imperiously. 'We go where we need to go.'
And they strode out into the open, leaving Ant behind.
----------------------
Yes, this is a shameless self insertion. At least we acknowledge it ^_^ It's meant to be part of the fun anyway. At least we're not the ones getting transported to Middle Earth to save it - on the contrary, we get Elijah, Dominic, Billy, Viggo (we knew I'd throw him in there somewhere), Sean, Sean and Ian (*throws Orli to the fangirls*).
Yum - Boromir in Fubu XD. All acknowledge the mighty power of Seen and her keyboard.
Hurrah for fudge and hot chocolate.
Plot needs to move *gets behind plot and shoves it along*
Yeah, Sophy is the bomb ^_^ And nooo ... I don't normally talk like that. Yayness.
--Author #2, who refuses to be called the #1 author because it would stand to reason that Author #1 is the #1 Author, because 2 is not 1, and 2 can never be 1, and for grammatical reasons if nothing else. Oh heck, just call me Khay. Or maybe Darin. I don't know, and I don't care. Pick one.
-----------------------
(8)
Elle, Amber and Capri looked around frantically for Britney. It had seemed as if she had simply disappeared without a trace - although, just thinking about it (and that in itself was hard work), did anyone ever vanish with a trace?
Perhaps it was one of life's little secrets. Yes. That must be it.
Something of a discontented grunt issued from the space to the left of Amber. Open-jawed, Elle reached out with her hand to see what was there. Her hand touched something warm and very much solid; she shrieked and leapt backwards, tripping over the homie with the very big sword.
A loud 'Geroff! Geroff meh!' ensued, but it wasn't loud enough to block out Britney's next comment.
'I swear this thing is only eighteen carats gold,' she said, sounding suitably puzzled. There was a slight popping noise and she re-appeared, holding the Ring in her hand. Gimli threw his battle axe aside and leapt at her with a furious roar. Britney screamed for fear of short, ugly men who braided their beards and were thus obviously homosexuals. They tussled on the ground for a moment, the girl scrambling as far away from him as she could get, but he would not back off.
'Why do YOU have the Ring?' he demanded. 'Where's Frodo, and Aragorn, and the rest of them? What've you done with them? By my uncle Balin, if they're hurt in any way-'
'If yeh hurt her in any way-' the wielder of the big, manly sword interrupted threateningly. 'I'll ... I'll ...'
His companion homie, blessed with sudden inspiration, nudged his friend and whispered in his ear. Big Sword turned to grin at his friend. Greasy Stubble grinned back.
(Author's Interruption/Warning: Extremely bad dialogue ensues. I have no idea how homies talk so ... don't shoot me. I'm sort of imagining Snake, from the Simpsons with his "Thanksss amigoss. Boi!")
'I'll take yer head off with this sword o' mine,' Big Sword said dramatically, though it sounded like he was reciting words from a play. He turned to face Greasy Stubble. 'Connor, my man, you are so good at this thing.'
Connor slapped his friend's shoulder. 'Indeed, I am.'
'Okay, enough of this!' proclaimed Richie, formerly known as Legolas. Sophie was cuddled at his side, still clad in monochromatic grey robes, pointy hat aside. One of his arms was wrapped protectively around her shoulders; the other was on his hips.
'I think we've all had enough of this - this prank,' he continued boldly. 'And we want it to end. Right now.'
They waited for a few moments.
Nothing happened.
'What do we do now?' said Sophie, clinging to Richie's arm all the tighter.
'Never fear,' he told her and the rest of the company. 'I didn't really expect anyone to own up to this. That was Plan A, anyway.'
'Then what's plan B?' Capri ventured.
'Plan B? We go along with it, of course!' he said airily. 'It can only go on for so long - until the story runs out. So all we have to do is get to the end of the story.'
There was a murmur of general agreement. But this miraculous plan, brilliant as it was, still had some faults.
'Okay ...' said Britney, thinking that this sounded simple enough. 'So ... how does the story go?'
Sophie spoke up. 'We studied the books in first year uni. All we have to do is get that -' she pointed to the Ring in Britney's hand '- to there.' She nodded in the direction of the ominous, dark-looking mountains on the eastern horizon.
'Okay,' Amber shrugged. 'That's easy. I can't believe they made a movie out of this.'
'Let's get started then,' suggested Connor.
Gimli, though somewhat dazed about the happenings of the last few minutes, followed them down the mountain haplessly. At least, he thought, they had some idea about what they were supposed to do.
-----------------------
(9)
Several things had clicked for Ant during that conversation. The confusion had all started when she had seen the "clique" in to see a vampire movie. How peculiar. Then, if that wasn't strange enough, they had metamorphosized before her very eyes into several admittedly good looking people (at least they were the right gender to be good looking this time). But now, she thought she had it all figured out.
'I know who you are!' she shouted, getting out of the plush cinema seat. Her eyes fixed upon Frodo, now considerably less pathetic (thank the mighty Elendil for that). Frodo cowered away as she advanced on him, and Aragorn laid his hand on the hilt of his sword. 'You're Elijah Wood.'
Frodo looked around, as if she might have been talking to someone else, and made a face. 'Elijah? Who's he? And what kind of name IS that?'
Ant looked furious for a couple of reasons. 'Elijah is a VERY nice name,' she insisted. 'A very nice name for a very nice person.' She grinned fangirlishly. 'If that is you Elijah ... I want you to know that I'm you're biggest fan ...'
She swallowed hard, and continued. 'And if you're not Elijah, like you say, then you must be Frodo Baggins.'
Frodo cast a nervous look up at Gandalf, blouse and all. 'No,' he said finally. 'You must be talking about some other Frodo. I'm ... er ... Frodo Underhill.'
'No, you're not,' Ant countered. 'You're Frodo Baggins.'
'Underhill,' insisted Frodo.
'Baggins.'
'UNDERHILL!' screamed Frodo, his voice echoing off the walls of the cinema. Legolas covered his delicate Elf ears with a wince of heroic fortitude.
'I know a Baggins,' Pippin said suddenly, his eyes glazed over and his voice dreamy. 'Frodo Baggins, over there. He's my second cousin, once removed on his Mother's side.'
Sam's eyes grew shifty. 'You've said that before, Master Pippin, if I'm not mistaken.'
Ant blinked. 'Hold that thought,' she said urgently, and made for the cinema door. The mismatched, cross-dressed Fellowship stared at each other as she ran out, calling, 'Don't move a muscle!'
Outside, in the hallway, Ant slipped two coins into the payphone and dialed furiously. A hoarse, still-asleep voice greeted her on the other side of the line.
'Yeah?' Khay's voice was distracted.
'This is Ant,' the bearer of the name stated, unable to contain her excitement.
'Hello Ant,' Khay said. Then, in a more sinister tone, 'What're you doing at this time in the morning?'
'I'm at the cinema ... I wanted to see Queen of the Damned on its first day out, you know, and you won't believe who I met here.'
'Elijah Wood?' Her voice perked somewhat.
'Nooooo,' Ant dragged the word out. 'But I met the next best person-'
'Viggo Mortensen?' Khay was positively squealing now. Ant's expression darkened.
'Khay, Viggo Mortensen is three times your age.'
There was a disgrunted silence so she continued. 'Never mind about Viggo Mortensen, because - and I know you won't believe me the first time around, and that's why I want you to get up here as fast as you can, but - the Fellowship are here in the cinema.'
'You're not serious,' Khay still sounded annoyed that Ant had ruined her moment.
'I am - look, just come around to Chadstone - I swear, that's all. I want you to see this. How soon can you be here?'
A yawn. 'If I get out of bed in fifteen minutes, I can be there in twenty.'
'Get out of bed now!' directed Ant, and she hung up. She turned around, and facefaulted.
Eight figures, horribly dressed, were just coming out of a cinema - one of them carrying a highly visible and authentic-looking sword. They were already attracting giggles and stares from onlookers, and they hadn't even gone anywhere yet.
Well, they wouldn't be going anywhere if Ant could help it. She hurried over to them, trying to look nonchalant at the same time. It wasn't easy.
'What're you doing?' she hissed at them, waving her hands in their faces. 'Get back in there. You're attracting attention.'
'Enough of your warnings, girl,' Boromir said imperiously. 'We go where we need to go.'
And they strode out into the open, leaving Ant behind.
----------------------
Yes, this is a shameless self insertion. At least we acknowledge it ^_^ It's meant to be part of the fun anyway. At least we're not the ones getting transported to Middle Earth to save it - on the contrary, we get Elijah, Dominic, Billy, Viggo (we knew I'd throw him in there somewhere), Sean, Sean and Ian (*throws Orli to the fangirls*).
Yum - Boromir in Fubu XD. All acknowledge the mighty power of Seen and her keyboard.
Hurrah for fudge and hot chocolate.
