Well! It's been a good while since I wrote any of THIS hasn't it? The answer is: yes, yes it has, oh great and powerful Seenbean, lord of the fics! (lordess of the fics perhaps? Lady of the fics? Twit of the fics? Yeah.)

I haven't spoken with Khay for quite some time, and I'm not sure she'll wish to write another chapter after this one. However, for the time being, please enjoy this offering - and as always, RnR! Cos' it makes me happy and shiny and dancey! Oh yes it does!

Take care darlings -SB

~

Ant watched horrified as the homie-fied, bopper-fied Fellowship marched with great determination (and a good deal of prancing, on Legolas' part) into the main foyer of the cinema. She clutched the received of the payphone to her as if someone it would be able to prevent the inevitable riot that was about to breakout in the sleep suburban theatre.

Aragorn turned to the company, halting them. "

"Right! Headcount! Number off, one to nine!"

Merry made a face, behind Aragorn's back, and Pippin giggled. Aragorn wheeled round to face the two small hobbits, and glared at them.

"THINK IT'S FUNNY DO YOU!? STUCK IN ENEMY TERRITORY DRESSED LIKE.LIKE."

"Pretty girls?" Frodo smiled, twirling.

"LIKE DAMNED SERVING WENCHES! And er.." He looked Boromir up and down "I have no idea what you're supposed to be, mate.."

"Could say the same for you" Boromir remarked sulkily, pulling up his baggy pants to prevent displaying his manly (somewhat unwashed) buttox to the general public.

~

Whilst Richie may have been a uni student, he was not a man of many brains. He certainly had never had any tactical training, and was probably abysmal at playing spotlight.

As such, it should not have been Richie who was chosen to lead the pseudo- fellowship down the grassy hill, and onto the plains.

Britney twirled her hair (which was quite difficult now, as it had shortened and become naturally curly) and turned to Amber. "I'm not sure I'm going to like it here." Her voice was whingey and irritating. It was even getting on Amber's nerves.

"Why not!?" Capri inquired, incredulously "It'll be great! Hey maybe we'll run into those hot guys from the movie, right?"

Gimli, who had heard that statement, glowed with pride. He was a hot guy! Then he realised something.

"You won't get to meet them, little lassies" He nodded, curtly "You're replacing them. My guess is they'll be wherever YOU came from." he looked at them slightly coldly, as though it was entirely their fault that Frodo and co. were now in some unchartered land possibly facing all manner of evil (in point of fact, it was entirely their fault - but they were too stupid to realise it).

Britney scowled at the short, portly dwarf, and placed her hands on her hips. "I don't like being SPOKEN too like that you.you.undergrown poor excuse for a garden gnome!"

Gimli's beard bristled and he narrowed his deepset eyes "GNOME!? I'll give YOU gnome young lady!" He brandished his axe - not particularly intended to kill Britney. Just make her feel pain. Oh yes. Pain.

However, Connor had been witnessing this event, and was less than amused at Gimli attacking his possible snuggle-buddy. He growled, and with great bravado, and little sense, threw himself at the drawf, unbalancing him with a cry of "BOOYAKASHA"

The noise resounded throughout the valley.

And in the distance, the eerie and earsplitting cry of the wraiths of Mordor could be heard.

~

The clique were not the only ones arousing unwanted attention through hissy- fits.

Aragorn's outburst had alerted a large bunch of movie goers, just exiting FotR, of their presence.

The fellowship froze.

So did the collection of teenage girls standing just outside the cinema door.

A silent wind blew from the airconditioning unit. An empty popcorn carton blew across the space between the two grounds. Over the cinema sound system, a wild west theme began to play, advertising some new movie.

Then one of the girls opened her cavernous mouth.

"IT'S ORLANDO BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM"

The fellowship flinched, and froze, as the entire body of girls - some big some little, some short, some tall, some stout, some thin, some black, some white, some blonde, some not-so-blonde - dashed towards them emitting an earpiercing sound that would rival the nazguls own.

"Holy SH-" Aragorn began, before Gandalf interjected

"This evil is beyond any of you...RUN!!!!!!!!"

~

Where do we go from here? Will Legolas stand there silently and wet himself whilst the others make their escape, thus leaving him to the mercy of the dreaded fangirls?

Will the Nazgul eat Britney's head, and thus save the world as we know it?

None can say! But YOU shall see..