First character.

*Dobby's cousin and Kate's cousin lead Harry Potter into a room which they say has his old nimbus in it*

Dobby's cousin: It's right in here.*opens door*

Kate's cousin: Oh no, the light switch is on the other side *the room is pitch black*

Harry: are you sure my nimbus is in here?

Dobby's cousin: what do I care. *shoves Harry into the room and locks the door* Do the survey!

*Light turns on and Harry sees a piece of paper on a table*

Harry: Okay

Survey

Name: Harry Potter

Kinky nickname: I don't have one! and if I did what's it too you?

Slashes you'd hope weren't just a slash: With Cho, Ginny or any chick that looks cute.

Slashes you hate: Harry/Draco ones! People, I'm begging you stop writing them! PLEASE!

"Fave" HP characters: Ginny. Ron better not read this!

"Fave" real people: Piper (from charmed). I really want a slash with her. OH NO! IT DOESN'T ERASE! AGGHHH MY SECRET IS OUT!

Have the authors ever revealed any real life slashes about you: They revealed about me and Ginny. I'm not telling you which one, coz it's an R rated slash!

Do they portray you well in slashes: No!

If slashes stopped what would you miss most: I wouldn't miss anything, but the good-looking chicks.

Do you prefer...

Cho or Ginny: Ginny. Ron you're not going to read this!

R rated slashes or others: others. R rated slashes are extremely sick, but others can be just sick

Pretty or hot: pretty, though Ginny is pretty...ugly. I think I'll make this survey Ron proof.

Human or cheese: really now that is sick! I prefer human

Guy or girl: Girl. THIS IS REALLY ANNOYING ME!

Wadda ya have to say to da authoresses...

Dobby's cousin: you are sick and twisted!

Kate's cousin: why do hang out with such a twisted person as Dobby's cousin!

*Kate's cousin opens the door and give the survey to Dobby's cousin, who gives it to Ron, who kills Harry*

Dobby's cousin: hi ho the witch is dead *starts singing and Kate's cousin joins in*

J.K Rowling: *brings Harry back to life and smirks at Kate's cousin and Dobby's cousin*.

Authoresses notes.

Dobby's cousin: Die Harry die!

Kate's cousin: Yeah, die!