Third character.
*Dobby's cousin and Kate's cousin lead Draco into a room which they say has coffee' in it*
Dobby's cousin: It's right in here. *opens door and looks bored*
Kate's cousin: Get in *shoves Draco into pitch black room*
Dobby's cousin and Kate's cousin: do the survey *light comes on and Draco sees a piece of paper on a table*
Draco: why
Dobby's cousin: coz if you don't we'll send a crazed fan girl on you
Kate's cousin: Or we could tell that fan girl convention, in the next room, where you are.
Voices from next room: DRACO! DRACO! DRACO!
*Draco sits down and starts doing the survey*
Survey
Name: Draco Malfoy
Kinky nickname: Ferret, wait I didn't mean that. OH CRAP! IT DON'T RUB OUT!
Slashes you'd hope weren't just a slash: Hmm... none!
Slashes you hate: Mostly all of them.
"Fave" HP characters: Me... wait, that word looks dodgy.
"Fave" real people: Hmm... none. Wow I'm actually quiet boring.
Have the authors ever revealed any real life slashes about you: They did one, but that's all in the past. WHY MINI WHY!
Do they portray you well in slashes: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no and no... did I mention NO!
If slashes stopped what would you miss most: nothing
Do you prefer...
Cho or Ginny: Cho's stupid and Mini Weasel is just plain ugly
R rated slashes or others: others. I've seen one too many Me and Potter slashes, so I've lost my liking for R rated slashes.
Pretty or hot: Hey, I'm not forced to do this! I choose not to!
Human or cheese: Human. I'm getting very bad mental picture, so next question
Guy or girl: Why does everyone think I'm gay!? I choose girl! Now I'm getting worse mental pictures!
Wadda ya have to say to da authoresses...
Dobby's cousin: I hope you fall of a cliff and live in pain and agony ever after!
Kate's cousin: I hope that you were drunk when you wrote this thing, you were so... normal... before
*Kate's cousin opens the door and give the survey to Dobby's cousin, who opens the door of the next room and Draco fan girls come streaming out*
Clan of fan girls: DRACO! DRACO! DRACO!*chase Draco out*
Authoresses notes.
Dobby's cousin: Why wasn't Ani there?
Kate's cousin: She was in the fan club meeting and the only girl there.
