Title: Lost in the Abyss

Author:ShadowChild

Summary: Harry does something that brings everyone to reevaluate how well they know him. He tries to kill himself. Only one person cares enough to find out why.

A/N sorry about the wait but with exams and Christmas and what have you….

          Ginny sat on a cool gray rock by the lake staring at the lakes cool blue surface covered in ice and watching the tentacles of the giant squid flail about trying to break out. She didn't seem to notice the cold. She sat unmoving her chin in her hands for sometime thinking about what Hermione had told her.

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          When they arrived at Kings Cross at the end of their fifth year Harry looked more tired than usual, this was odd because so unlike their other years there had been no huge final battle, no sneaking through the castle. Voldemort had made several attacks on the muggle world and wizarding world but nothing on Hogwarts yet.

          Hermione had not spoken to her friend much that year whether it was because she was busy or that he was avoiding her she wasn't sure. Whatever it was that caused the separation it had happened so she wasn't at all surprised at his shock in her approaching him on the train. They had sat in the last compartment as a matter of habit but he had chosen a seat near the back.

          "Harry?" she had asked sliding into the seat next to him. He turned from his staring forlornly out the window.

          "Hmm? What is it Hermione?"

          "Oh well it's just you look so tired. What's wrong?"

          "Not much. Just that everyone expects me to be so bloody perfect." He had spat.  "Oh it's not your fault," he added quickly. "It's everyone else, 'Famous Harry Potter is so wonderful." he mocked. Hermione was taken aback.

          "Oh Harry I had no idea."

          "Yeh well now you do. But it doesn't really concern you does it? You and Ron are doing okay. You got the highest OWLS in the history of Hogwarts or something and Ron's got you. not to mention next year he'll have quidditch."

          "What do you mean Harry?" she asked tentatively shocked by her normal calm friends display of emotion.

          "I'm resigning from the team Hermione. Ron's a good keeper he'll be made captain." He stared out at the falling rain again she stared at his reflection there was something in his eyes that hadn't been there before.

          "Why?" he shrugged.

          "Don't see the use of continuing it. Riddle'll kill me eventually and if I kill him well then I'll drift into the shadows. That might not be so bad. I could take Luke I guess. Whatever don't worry Hermione you'll be okay"

          "Well Harry okay." She had left him alone with his thoughts unsure of the meaning behind his words.

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          Ginny herself had seen Harry get off the train. She had tugged her trunk off before him and watched him approach his bulbous uncle.

          "Boy get in the car. The kid'll be your responsibility until September got it?"

          "Yes Uncle Vernon." He muttered as if it was a recording and Ginny, standing close saw a shine in his eyes and almost a bounce in his step as he headed to the car.

          Ginny remembered that day clearly because it was the last day she had seen Harry either happy or looking as he did. The summer had been rather normal for her, she had spent it hiding from Ron and Hermione preferring not to watch them exchange slobber. She spent most of her time in her room happily listening to the WWN and reading.

          Harry she was surprised to see hadn't shown up before the beginning of August. She found out the reason for this during dinner one night. Her father was out doing raids and Fred, George, and Percy were at work.

          "Ron?" their mother asked as she dished out mashed potatoes.

          "Yet Mum? 'at is it?" Ron sprayed with a mouthful off roast pork.

          "Have you asked Harry to visit yet?" Ron's jaw dropped open a sight that nearly made Ginny gag, and he exchanged a panic stricken look with Hermione who blushed visibly.

          "Er I was just about to Mum as soon as I ate." Ron ate faster than she had ever seen him and ran upstairs. Later that night in-between complaints of a stomach ache he confirmed that he had written to Harry.

          Harry met them in Diagon Alley and Ginny almost didn't recognize him he was unusually pale with dark circles under his eyes. He wore a baggy black shirt with a neon green spider outline on it. His jeans were black. He had new shoes, black lace up boots that went up to his calf. He stood in the shadows of the leaky cauldron and gave them a slight wave as he came over. He noticed them staring at his close and smiled a lopsided smile,

          "I got some of my money converted in Hogsmeade the last week of school. I need new clothes and these work." Ginny smiled,

          "They're nice."

          "Thanks. Luke liked 'em he calls it my 'Pider dirt.'" The smile was guinune now and she saw that his eyes shown when he spoke of this boy. Ron didn't seem to notice.

          "C'mon mate let's go to Flurish and Blotts." Harry nodded and followed dragging his booted feet.

          Why then would he want to leave the boy he so obviously loved so much? Ginny pondered as it grew dark by the lake. Why would he throw that future away? The change he made in his wardrobe didn't seem to affect anything else. As far as she knew his studies were still going well. No one had said anything to the contrary. She sighed and headed inside. She was surprised to be met at the door by her only brother still at Hogwarts.

          "What do you want, Ron?"

          "I came to tell you that if you  need to go through Harry's stuff or something all of the sixth years are attending the apparition lectures." He turned almost immediately to go but she put her hand on his shoulder.

          "Ron this isn't your fault. I know I implied it last night but I was mad. Don't think that it is your fault."

          "Thanks Gin." He headed inside and she followed. She went up to the Gryffindor Common room quietly she went upstairs using a staircase she had never been up before. She opened the door slowly and knew immediately which bed was Harry's, it had a poster of a lion above it and upon closer inspection his initials were on his trunk.

          She opened his trunk, and saw that everything looked basically ordinary his shirts were folded neatly and everything was in rows, she lifted the clothes out to revel a plethora of various objects. His firebolt, sneakascope, and invisibility cloak were in the corner, she had heard Ron talking about it. He had his dragon figure on his bedside table she saw. Near the bottom of his trunk there was an old book.

          She lifted it up gingerly afraid that it could be something like the Riddle diary. The book was worn and old and the pages were wrinkled Ginny blew the dust off the cover and a cloud surrounded her head. When the dust cleared she looked at the title in gold embossed letters.

          Muggle Laws Concerning Children

                   Updated every year

          She opened the book and saw it was a library book there were two names on the check out list one was Albus Dumbledore in eighteen seventy and the other was Harry Potter. Ginny assumed that it had been forgotten deep in the Muggle Law section and that Madame Pince had forgotten about it also something that did not often happen. She saw that several of the pages had been dog-eared and some of it was highlighted and underlined

          She closed his trunk and snuck out of the dorm as easily as she had gone in. She sat in the common room that night studying the book she imagined the same way Harry had. She read all of the references he highlighted and several more. One was highlighted and underlined several times.

          If any party can prove that the minor(s) in question have/are being/been mistreated than that party can go before a court of law and have the minor(s) placed in alternative care1

          Alternative care could mean she read another parent or the next of kin. If none were available a government home. So Harry had not entirely based his attempted suicide on Luke though she figured it might have figured in. after all a home must be better than the Dursley's however she couldn't imagine Harry not wanting to stay with Luke. 

          Unbeknownst to Ginny it had grown late. The rest of the house was asleep and the moon, almost three quarter shown through the window. She sat back in the leather upholstered chair and rubbed her temples trying to ease away the coming headache and concentrate on solving this mystery. The light hit something on the corner of the table hidden behind a large candle. She moved the candle she got what was tuck and realized that it was the photo album that Harry had been looking through.

Sighing she opened it and flipped through the pictures. She looked at the pictures of his parents and of Ron, Hermione, and him. One picture made her laugh it was during their third year and they were covered in snow. Then there was one from Harry's fourth year that someone had taken of Hermione before the ball.

There were fewer of the next years but one took her breath away. It was one Colin had taken of her and Harry that he had taken because of the view. They had both been sitting by the lake and Colin had liked the angle and the way the light shown on their faces. She hadn't known Harry had a copy. She smiled looking at their faces but noticed the pain in his eyes she had missed that day.

She looked at her watched and saw that it was after three in the morning. She made her way upstairs stumbling a little she was so tired. She climbed in her bed fully dressed and fell asleep. She dreamed of Harry and got a slight clue In a nightmare she didn't remember in the morning.

A/N It's one in the morning but I'M DONE