Title: Lost in the Abyss
Author:ShadowChild
Summary: Harry does something that brings everyone to reevaluate how well they know him. He tries to kill himself. Only one person cares enough to find out why.
A/N I KNOW it's been longer than usual… Okay wait the last wait was four months… nevermind. But I should be studying for my AP World History test so I'm writing bien sur!
"Can we go to Diagon Alley today?" Harry asked his mother the second she came into his room the day after his eleventh birthday. He bolted up in bed as soon as the door opened and blurted out his question as his mother sat on the edge of his bed. She smiled and patted his leg.
"Are you sure you want to? Ashley's school starts tomarrow and if you want to go with just Luke and I you'd better wait." Harry's face fell but he nodded. His mother ruffled his hair and smiled.
"As for today, what do you say we go over to the Burrow?" The grin returned to Harry's face and he nodded fervently.
"Sounds absolutely wonderful to me Mum!" he said happily. His mother smiled and left him to dress. As he pulled a shirt over his head he began to spin and his awareness shifted from his bedroom in Godric's Hollow to the black room. He watched as Ginny settled next to him. The strange thing about these visions (if that was what they were) was that he could see his body lying there.
He listened as she recounted her meeting with McGonagall. He was slightly alarmed to realize that McGonagall had noticed anything. He thought he'd hidden it all. Perhaps he had been wrong. So maybe the old teacher had cared. No he told himself. If she had cared she would have said something. Sighing Harry returned to his mind.
Ginny, left the hospital wing quickly that day, not staying as long as she normally did. She couldn't think in there. Staring at Harry's limp body only made her depressed. She went to her rock near the lake although it was cold. That didn't seem to bother her.
She took out her notebook and flipped through it. On her list was only:
Luke
Friends. The night before she didn't have any idea what to do about either of them. Now, after a good nights sleep she had a few ideas, at least about Ron and Hermione. She knew they hadn't meant for anything to happen between the three of them. She figured, well hoped, that they just had to sincerely apologize.
She wrote apology under friends and stared at
the other problem. How to take care of Luke. She had read in Harry's book of
how the parents could be found unfit: abuse, neglect, and just plain bad
parenting. She wasn't sure how to prove it. If only Harry would wake up. That
of course was the whole reason she was thinking about those things.
She decided to go with what she had and she returned to the castle. Ron was in the common room.
"Hey Gin," he said when he saw her.
"Can I talk to you?" she said straight to the point. He nodded and she settled on the couch next to him.
"What do you need?" she told him and he nodded. "Of course I will. I should have apologized ages ago. I've been a bit thickheaded." Ginny felt a sarcastic remark on her tongue but she held it back when she heard the genuine remorse in her older brother's voice.
"It really wasn't your fault." Ron waved her off.
"Yeah but partcialy it was and that's enough. I just got so caught up in my own affairs that well I lost my best friend. I was bloody stupid Ginny." He sighed. "Much too stupid. I should have realized it. After fourth year and all that happened then. I just didn't." Ginny placed a hand on his shoulder.
"We all make mistakes." She sighed also and stared into the fire. After a moment Ron stirred under her touch.
"By the way Gin. I found this on Harry's nightstand." He handed her a small leatherbound book. She realized immediately it was a diary. "It's his. I looked at it a bit. I don't think he'd mind your reading it." She stood.
"Thanks Ron. She began to head towards the stairway but stopped. "Hey Ron. Remember how close we were when we were younger. How we used to spend hours just you and me. What happened?" Ron looked over at her.
"I'm not sure Sis. I miss those days too. I guess life caught up with us. You know I love you right?"
"O'course I do Ronniekins." She smiled and headed to her dorm. When she got up there she settled on her bed and drew the curtains a single candle lighting her hideaway enough for her to read.
June 3rd 1994
I bought this journal on the trip with my "family" to London yesterday. I've never kept a journal before. I figured that since I now hove Luke to take care of I should document things. First of all you don't know who I am. I am Harry James Potter. I am almost fifteen years old. I am a wizard. There now that I've written that no one can see this. No muggles anyway. I just got back from my fourth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
From there he went on to explain about the past years and his parents death. Ginny only skimmed until he had updated the journal to the present date.
The other day I came home to an amazing shock. My aunt had a baby. His name is Luke. He was only born in April and he's sort of cute. Here's the real thing. I have to take care of him. I know absolutely nothing about babies. I mean nada, now I have to learn. I have to learn because… well maybe I should tell.
I got off the train a bit depressed. After all that had happened in this past year I couldn't really help it. I headed for my uncle's car. I was shocked to see a car seat.
"What is that?" I asked stupidly. Uncle Vernon glared at me.
"That is a baby."
"Well I knew that but-"
"And he is your responsibility." Uncle Vernon had ignored me and kept charging on as I hefted my trunk into the car trunk. Uncle Vernon just watched. "Yes you. Your aunt and I have no time to care for such a child. We have too much to do so as of today and until you go to school he is yours. You must come home on all holidays."
I was completely shocked but I numbly got into the car. I stared at the baby and his huge blue eyes stared at me. He smiled and I fell for the little guy. He was as defenseless as I had been. He was skinny and I figured they weren't feeding him enough. When we slammed into their driveway they left it to me to unbuckle Luke. I went around to his side and it didn't tale and Aurour to notice that the car seat wasn't tight enough. It took me forever to unbuckle all those buckles mostly because they weren't buckled correctly.
When I carried him inside I found a crib in my room near my bed. There was a half full package of diapers near it and a few diaper wipes. In a drawer there were some changes of clothes though they didn't seem to be enough for a baby. I sat with him on my bed and just kind of stared at him for awhile. Then I gently began to play with his hands and he smiled at me. After a while he needed to be changed. It took me a minute but I figured it out and changed him. they did have formula so I was able to feed him at least.
Yesterday when they went to London I snuck into Diagon Alley and got some of my money changed. I bought some baby stuff, toys, diapers, clothes and baby food. They didn't ask where I got the money and I sure didn't volunteer.
Most of the days that followed were accounts of Luke. The thing that interested Ginny most was the mentions of how he was mistreated. This was the proof she needed.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Meanwhile Ron had just entered the Hospital Wing. He felt a bit awkward as he sat in the chair near Harry's bed.
"Er- Hi Harry. This is a bit hard for me mind but I just wanted to say. Well Mate I just wanted t' say I'm really sorry about what all happened between you and me. I'm not just saying that you know. Look I know I'd never been the greatest friend in the world. But you're my best friend. I'd hate to lose you.
"Look I know these past couple years I haven't paid much attention to you lately but you are my friend. I love Hermione I truly do, but you're my best friend. You really are." Ron stared at Harry not sure of what to expect. He knew that wouldn't bring Harry out of it but it might help. Anything to help.
As Lily led Harry to the Weasly's fireplace that night. Her arm was around him and he was huddled against her. She held him close as they spun in the fire. James was waiting for them smiling but his expression changed when he saw Harry had been crying. When Lily let him go he flew up to his room. James helped Lily remove her coat.
"What happened to him?" Lily sighed and hung her coat up.
"He and Ron had a fair bit of a row. Well a bit of is a bit of an understatement. You could hear those two yelling from anywhere in the house. I'm not sure exactly what it was about. Something to do with quidditch teams maybe. Doesn't matter. The way they were fighting you'd think it was the most important thing in the world." James nodded knowing how these things were. He and Sirius hadn't spoken for most of their third year.
That night James knocked on Harry's door.
"Come in." was the nearly inaudible reply. He opened the door and sat on the end of Harry's bed. Harry was sitting under the covers with only his head uncovered. He twisted his gaze away from his father so he wouldn't be seen crying. James placed a hand on Harry's shoulder.
"C'mon mate it can't be that bad can it?" Harry nodded sniffling. "You guys are friends. You'll make up."
"We won't. I know it."
"That's not a good attitude Harry. You will. And if worst comes to that you'll make new friends at Hogwarts." Harry looked up at him his eyes tearful.
"I shan't all my friends are in a different world."
"What do you mean?" Harry shrugged.
"I dunno. I just know it." He slid all the way under the covers. James tucked the blanket around him and let the boy drift off to sleep before he left.
A/N well I think I did okay on that test as for the chapter… well I know it's short but well forgive me? As for your theories… I'm not telling!
