Title: Lost in the Abyss

Author: ShadowChild

Summary: Harry does something that brings everyone to reevaluate how well they know him. He tries to kill himself. Only one person cares enough to find out why.

A/N okay I know this chappie is out very soon after the last one but well u no I want to finish this one b/c I have another fic ready to go. Btw if any1 is interested in a betaing job 4 my new fic e-mail me @: Moorchyld14@aol.com

          Ginny sat in her and Luke's room in the Leaky Cauldron. Remus said there was still a few legal matters to tend to and so Ginny was taking care of Luke. Luke was a bright, bubbly little boy with a large smile. Ginny had baby-sat in the village for money in the summers and so she was used to children.

          Luke was very good but the one time she had to tell him no she was startled by his reaction. She had gone to the bathroom and left him there with a piece of paper and 'culers'. When she got back he was jumping on the bed and Ginny was afraid he would fall. She sat him down and said,

"Luke, no!" his big blue eyes filled with tears and he put his head in his arm and lied down curled up on the bed as if waiting for something to happen, something bad to happen. Ginny was startled by this behaviour and she reached out to pat his back and comfort him.

Luke who'd been, once she began playing with him, so loving drew away from her hand. Ginny settled in the bed next to him and held him in her arms. He was shaking. She held him so he could see her face and she smiled at him.

"Luke, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you. I just don't want you jumping on the bed. That scares me when you do that, it scares me because I love you." when she said this she realized that it was true. He was an adorable child who had been through much too much for his two and a half years. That night she put him in the crib that Remus had conjured up and sang him to sleep. She started singing a song that her Mum had sung her but Luke's lower lip jutted out.

"No," he said, "ning moon nong!" (sing moon song.) Ginny was puzzled for a moment. Luke's language was easy enough to understand if you thought about it for a bit.

"Sing moon song?" she asked and Luke nodded happily.

"Es! Moon nong!"

"Luke I don't know the moon song. Can Lukie sing it?" Luke nodded. He began to sing in a baby like way swaying his head.

"I see moon, moon see Luke, moon see one. God bess moon, God bess Luke, God bless one see." Ginny looked at him puzzled. Then a sudden memory of a song she'd heard someone sing one late night in the common room while she studied for O.W.L.S. Hesitantly she began to sing.

"I see the moon

And the moon sees me

The moon sees the one, who I want to see,

God bless the moon,

And God bless me,

God bless the one who I want to see."

When she finished Luke nodded happily and yawned.

"Good moon nong." he said as he drifted off to sleep. Ginny found that she had to wipe a tear from her eye.

That night she took out Harry's journal again. It was a long entry that she had skipped over at first. Now she skimmed it at first then read it. It was Christmas, Christmas the year before. Now Christmas was nearing again.

December 12th,

We went with the Dursley's to get a tree to-day. Usually they sent me to Mrs. Figgs while the family got a tree but I guess this year they wanted to show off their cute little baby. I went along because after all none of them could be bothered actually caring for this child.

The Dursley's would never actually go anywhere and cut down a tree that is too much work. Instead they go to the Home and Garden store. They piled us all in the car me between Dudley's fat buttocks and Luke's car seat which I, when I got home, had to tighten once again. When we got there I was left to unbuckle Luke but Aunt Petunia grabbed his wrist as soon as he was out.

"Give me my child." She snarled at me as if I was purposely keeping Luke from her. She held his little wrist tight with her bony fingers and almost dragged him. I cringed to see him handled that way.

When we got to the back lot where the trees were she almost threw him into a cart and pushed him hard down the aisles. I tagged after her. Luke sent me looks and his little eyes said, save me but I couldn't. That was the worst feeling ever. It makes me wonder even more what happens while I am at school.

I know he doesn't get feed enough. When I am home I sneak down stairs to get us more food. I have learned how to walk so as not to wake the Dursleys.

So then Vernon called Petunia over to look at some huge tree. I walked up to Luke and he held his arms out trying to get me to get him out.

"Sorry, bud I can't get you out." I whispered. I heard Petunia's heels clicking back towards me and I sprang quickly away from the cart.

I followed them down the aisles. Petunia nearly knocked Luke into about twenty different trees. She didn't speak to him at all simply pulled her necklace away from his grasp. A few times women stopped her,

"What an adorable baby," baby they crooned, and he was. He wore red overalls with a Christmas tree on the front bib with a red, white, and green stripped shirt. What really irked me is that when she was stopped Petunia would smile graciously and say,

"Oh thank you! He's the light of my life!" the woman whom she was talking to would also smile.

"Oh, that's wonderful. How old is he?" he is twenty months old.

"Oh eighteen months but it seems like he's been part of me forever." It just about made me sick.

Ginny did not read this to the court because they would say that it showed that Petunia may not show it but did care about her son. To quote Harry, fat chance.

The next morning Ginny was awakened by a small had touching her face. She opened her eyes to see Luke's sapphire orbs shining back. When she cracked her eyes open he smiled widely,

"Guh morning!" he said. Ginny laughed and sat up.

"Good morning to you!" she got up and began to make the bed with Luke still in it. She pulled the sheet up over his head and he giggled.

"Gee I wonder where Luke is?" she said and he giggled more. She'd learned In the past day that his receptive language was much better than his expressive language. When Ginny asked Remus about this he said it was probably because though Luke was not encouraged to talk around the Dursley's he heard them speak.

Now she pulled the quilt over Luke's head and the giggling became muffled.

"Oh my gosh! Where could Luke be? I hope he didn't run away!" then she pulled the covers back from the laughing, wriggling lump under the covers.

"Oh there he is!" Luke laughed and scrambled out from under the covers. When Ginny started to remake the bed Luke stood next to her.

"Luke hep?" he asked.

"Sure!" Ginny said. Luke smiled and smoothed the covers up. He picked a pillow, which was nearly his size, up from the floor and plopped it on the bed. "Good job." Ginny said and Luke beamed.

"Luke best heper." Ginny nodded.

"That's right."

"Luke Hawwy's best heper and Ginnee best heper." Ginny felt her heart melt and she bent down and hugged the little boy.

"Yes you are. Now come on let's get some breakfast." She took Luke's small hand in hers and they went downstairs. Tom the innkeeper smiled when he saw them.

"Well hello there young man." He said. Luke smiled at him. Remus was waiting for them. He conjured a large cushion and set it on a chair so Luke could reach the table. Ginny cut up some eggs, sausage, and bacon for him and Luke began to eat with gusto.

"You're good with him." Remus said to Ginny as she began to eat her own eggs.

"Well," she said as she swallowed, "I have to be. I mean the only person who's ever taken really good care of him is Harry and I well I love Harry so I have to take care of Luke." Remus nodded.

"So you love Harry." Ginny nodded.

"Yes I do, when I was younger I had a mad crush on him but now I love him as more of a person. Not just because of all he's been through but because he is a wonderful person."

"Maybe you should tell him that." Ginny nodded.

"I shall right before I bring Luke in."

They flooed back to The Three Broomsticks that day, Luke holding tightly to Ginny. He didn't cry as Ginny remembered doing as a small girl but he had a look of fear on his face. When they walked to the castle he seemed to know it. Sure enough when they were closer he smiled and said,

"Hogwats! Hawwy en hogwats!" Ginny nodded her suspicions confirmed. Harry must have used his photo album to teach Luke. He probably talked about the pictures in it. So what did he say about her?

Ginny and Luke walked to the hospital wing. Ginny did not want to bring Luke in right away, she had to talk to Harry, but she wasn't sure what to do with him. she decided to see if Madame Pomfrey would take care of him. The nurse agreed and Ginny settled Luke with a coloring book.

          Harry was packing his trunk for Hogwarts when he felt himself pulled once again out of his dream. When he was back in the darkness he knew that several real days had passed since he was called back. Time seemed to run different inside his head.

          Ginny sat, as usual, in the chair by his bed.

          "Well Harry, I'm back. I have a surprise for you but first I want to say that I love you. You may not believe me. it took me a while to realize it. I do not feel sorry for you. You know I have read your journal. You may be mad at me for that but I had to do it. I know what you have done in the past two years and you have done an amazing job with Luke. He is one of the luckiest little boys in the world. I just wanted to tell you that you are loved here. Now I'll get your surprise.

          She stood and left while Harry was pulled back into his dream world.

          He was still sitting in his bed packing his trunk when the whole house seemed to shake. He heard voices downstairs and he leapt off the bed. When he was halfway down the stairs everything went quiet. When he got downstairs he saw a figure in a black cloak running from the house.

          He ran to the living room where his family was listening to the Puddlemere United game on the WWN. When he got there he almost passed out. His parents and little sister, the people who loved him lay lifeless on the floor.

          Ginny ran to get Luke from the nurse. When she took him to Harry Luke gave a full toothed grin,

          "Hawwy!" he cried. When there was no response he looked over at Ginny and put a finger on his lips. "Shh. Hawwy seeping."

          Harry saw Luke standing there but he didn't want to believe it. Then it sunk in and he had to get out of the abyss that held him. He ran to what looked like the edge of it. He ran and ran and tried to get through, and he did for just a second,

          Ginny almost passed out. A minute after Luke proclaimed Harry asleep Harry's eyes opened just a small crack and he murmured,

          "Luke." Before he was once again lost in the abyss.

A/N okay looks like we have some time to go still… I think we only have about a chapter and an epilogue to go. If any one is interested in that Beta job let me know.