THE NEWEST PLAN

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AJ'S OFFICE

AJ was at his desk.  He looked over the files on his desk and sighed. I'm getting too old for this. He thought as he signed another form.  His private line began to ring and he shuttered to think of who it might be.

"Tiner," AJ called out.

"Yes Sir," Tiner said coming into the office.

"Answer this line, and if it's anyone other than God, I am not here." AJ said.

"Aye, Aye," Tiner said and picked up the phone. "Admiral Chegwidden's office, I'm sorry he stepped out for a moment. May I take a message? Yes Mrs. Nelson, oh well, I can't transfer from this line. Yes Ma'am. I will have her call you back. When? Oh I couldn't tell you.  She is in a meeting.  Yes, I will make sure she gets the message, yes Ma'am nice speaking to you as well."

"What does that woman want?" AJ groaned after Tiner hung up.

"She actually wanted to speak with Colonel MacKenzie," Tiner shrugged.

"You better give her the message and Tiner tell the Colonel that this is my private line." AJ said.

"Yes Sir, I'll take care of it." Tiner said and left.

BULLPEN

"Excuse me Colonel," Tiner said.

"What can I do for you Tiner?" Mac asked.

"I have a message for you from Mrs. Nelson." Tiner said. "She called on the Admiral's private line."

"She what?" Mac sighed.

"She would like to speak with you at your earliest convenience," Tiner said. "The Admiral also asked that I remind you that it's his private line."

"I know Tiner," Mac groaned. "I know."

Mac walked back to her office, she crumpled up the message and tossed it. "I can't deal with her now."

"What did you say?" Harm said walking in behind her.

"Mrs. Nelson called," Mac said. "I can't deal with her now."

"Mac, call her." Harm said picking up the phone. "Lord only knows what she will do if you don't."

Mac picked up the phone to call and was happy to get the answering machine.  She left a brief message and quickly hung up.

PORTER WEBB'S HOME

"Porter, it was wonderful of you to host the meeting here." Dottie Nelson said.

"It's the least I could do," Porter replied.

"Where are the others?" Dottie asked.

"They should be here eventually.  May I offer you something to drink?" Porter asked.

"Tea would be lovely," Dottie smiled.  Porter rang for tea to be brought in.

"Now, what is this new fund raising idea you wanted to discuss?" Porter asked.

"Well with the Smithsonian fundraiser next month I had an idea." Dottie said.

"We do the luncheon.  Isn't it a little late to be changing?" Porter asked.

As Dottie was about to speak the rest of the committee arrived, they were an interesting group.  It included a retired Senator, the Vice President's wife, and an actor as well as Porter and Dottie.  They were the fundraisers of the board and each quarter they arranged a luncheon with all proceeds going to the Smithsonian.  Originally that was the plan. However Dottie seemed to have other ideas.

"Dottie, we're all here.  What's this new idea of yours?" Porter asked.

"Have any of you heard of the show The Bachelor?" Dottie asked.

"I have," The actor said. "It's a show where women compete for a marriage proposal."

"Exactly how does this fit into fund raising?" The VP's wife asked.

"It doesn't exactly, but it did give me an idea." Dottie smiled. "I was thinking we could have a bachelor auction."

"You aren't serious?" The senator said.

"I am very serious," Dottie smiled. "There are so many handsome men in the DC area, imagine the frenzy if they were auctioned off."

"The luncheon had always guaranteed us a sizable profit, why change?" The VP's wife asked.

"I was thinking of some military men." Dottie said. "They do look so handsome in uniform."

"Dottie, I know that look. You have something else in mind." Porter stated.

"Last quarter we raised $25,000, the Loews is ready to donate the food and facility again.  I think we should just go with what we know." The VP's wife said.

"I understand what you are saying, however last quarter the luncheon was only attended by a select few.  If we did an auction, we would have more people there and it would get more exposure.  Ergo, even those who don't get a bachelor may just donate anyway." Dottie smiled.

"I like it," The actor said. "I may even be able to get some of my friends to participate."

"See it will be wonderful," Dottie smiled.

"This is such short notice," The senator said.

"I can pull it off," Dottie said.

"Dottie, have you contacted any bachelors yet?" Porter asked.

"No, but my husband is the SecNav. I'll get him to order them." Dottie giggled.

"I'll contact Mariana at the Loews and advise her of the change in plans." Porter said.

"I suggest we all try to get at least 10 bachelors." Dottie said.

The group agreed and the meeting was adjourned.  Dottie was thrilled.  She knew exactly what she was doing.

AJ'S OFFICE – TWO HOURS LATER

"Chegwidden," AJ said answering his private line.

"AJ, are you familiar with the quarterly fundraisers for the Smithsonian?" Nelson asked.

"Yes, they hold a luncheon to raise money for the museums." AJ replied.

"This time they are doing something a little different," Nelson said. "My wife is on the committee."

"I am afraid to ask why you are telling me this," AJ said.

"AJ, they have decided to hold a bachelor auction this time, Dottie has asked for volunteers." Nelson sighed.

"I'm flattered, but I am also engaged." AJ half joked.

"Actually she wants, Rabb, Turner, Galindez and Tiner." Nelson said. "She also asked that we find 6 others."

"Sir, I can ask them but there are no guarantees." AJ sighed.

"That's all I ask AJ, well that and if you can find 6 others." Nelson said.

"I'll see what I can do," AJ said.

He put the phone back in its cradle and rubbed his temples.  This woman was the craziest person he'd ever met.  He used to think it was Zoya with her practical jokes, but he realized she was sane compared to Dorothy Nelson.

"Tiner, I need to see Rabb, Turner, you and Galindez." AJ said.

"Right away Sir," Tiner replied. Five minutes later they were assembled in his office.

"At ease gentlemen," AJ began. "I just received a call from the SecNav."

"Another dinner Sir?" Harm asked.

"No, a bachelor auction," AJ replied.

"Excuse me Sir," Gunny said.

"It's a fundraiser for the Smithsonian. Mrs. Nelson is on the committee and has requested the four of you and six others." AJ advised.

"Is this an order Sir?" Tiner asked.

"No," AJ sighed. "But something tells me Mrs. Nelson is not the type to take no for an answer."

"Why do I have the feeling this is your fault?" Sturgis said looking at Harm.

"My fault, what did I do?" Harm asked.

"Well she does seem to have shown a special interest in you lately." AJ said.

"That's not my fault," Harm protested. "I didn't even know her until she invited me and Mac to that thing at her home."

"The thing where you heated up the dance floor like Kelly and Charise?" Sturgis joked.

"It wasn't like that," Harm groaned.

"Bachelors as soon as I can get the details, I will let you know, dismissed." AJ said.

"Aye, aye Sir," They replied in unison and left the office.

BULL PEN

"So you think I should have my hair done?" Tiner laughed.

"I can't believe this is happening, I don't want to do this." Gunny stated.

"What don't you want to do?" Mac asked.

"I think I know why Mrs. Nelson was calling you," Harm said. "We are going to be the offerings in a bachelor auction."

"All of you?" Mac said trying not to laugh. "I'm sure it's for a good cause."

"It's for the Smithsonian," Sturgis said.

"That is a good cause," Mac smiled. "Hmmm, all of you for sale, that could be interesting."

"What's for sale, Ma'am?" Harriet said walking over with Coates.

"These lovely bachelors," Mac said.

"Excuse me Ma'am," Coates said.

"The SecNav's wife is on the fundraising committee for the Smithsonian and she asked if we would volunteer as bachelors for an action they are having." Gunny said.

"I think that's very nice of you to volunteer," Harriet smiled. "I bet you will all be very successful."

"Successful at what?" Bud asked.

They relayed the information to Bud.  Bud stood there and nodded the entire time.  However as soon as the bachelors walked away, they all started laughing.

"I have got to go to this," Mac said.

"Well of course you do," Harriet smiled. "Someone is going to have to bid on Commander Rabb."

"Ma'am, something tells me that's not going to be an issue." Coates stated.

"It's a good cause. I think we should go for moral support." Bud said.

"We should all go together.  Make an evening out of it." Harriet smiled.

"Hello everyone," Zoya said walking in with Webb.

"Zoya, hi how are you?" Harriet said giving her a friendly hug. "Mr. Webb it's nice to see you as well."

"Harriet, you can call me Clay." Webb said.

"Nice to see you," Bud said.

"What brings you to JAG?" Mac asked.

"I wanted to see Uncle AJ." Zoya said went to his office.

"So, what's new on the JAG front?" Webb asked.

"Since when are you social," Mac stated.

"Well, it's either that or I sit in the corner until Zoya comes back." Webb said.

"There's the corner," Mac joked.

"Actually, Commanders Rabb and Tuner, Gunny and Tiner have all been asked to participate in a bachelor auction for the Smithsonian fundraiser next month." Bud said.

"They do a luncheon," Webb said. "Mother is on that committee, she was talking about last month."

"They aren't doing a luncheon now," Harriet said. "Dottie Nelson came up with the idea."

"Clay, I would imagine you might want to stay away from your mother for the next month.  You may end up as another recruit." Mac laughed.

"There is no way she could convince me to do that," Webb said. "Prancing around and having woman bid on you like a wing chair."

"Sir, I don't think these women are going to have wing chairs in mind." Coates said with a smile.

Webb was about to comeback at Coates with a sarcastic reply when his cell phone rang.  He looked at the number on the display and rolled his eyes. He then turned his back to the group.

"Hello Mother, no, I haven't had a chance to check my messages.  Yes, I remember the luncheon, I planned on attending.  Oh it has? Mother I really don't think… Mother this is not something I am comfortable with.  Yes I know you went through eighteen hours of labor to bring me into the world.  I know I agreed to help, but that was before it was changed. I really don't think this is for me. Yes I think it's a good cause. But… fine," Webb sighed and disconnected the call.  When he turned back around to the group, Mac, Harriet and Coates were all standing there waving dollar bills.

"I guess we have another bachelor," Mac laughed.

"Not one word," Webb warned.

"What's going on?" Zoya asked joining them.

"I'll fill you in later," Webb said.

"It was nice seeing you all," Zoya said.

"Let's get together soon," Harriet said.

"Sounds good to me," Zoya smiled. "I should be in town for a bit."

"Clay, you can get together with us too," Harriet smiled.

"Ah, thanks." Webb said confused.  He had never been invited to join any of them for as much as a cup of coffee before.  He wasn't sure how to respond.

Webb and Zoya walked out of the JAG building and to his car.

"What was with the ah?" Zoya asked.

"She surprised me.  They've never included me in anything before." Webb said.

"Well partner, now that you work with me, they will probably include you." Zoya said. "You know it's later, what are you going to fill me in on?"

"I, along with some others, am going to be paraded around for a bachelor auction." Webb sighed.

"You have got to be kidding me," Zoya laughed. "So who are the others?"

"Rabb, Turner, Galindez and Tiner," Webb stated.

"Victor Galindez? I just may have to hit the ATM." Zoya joked.

"Very funny," Webb said.

"Who's being funny, he's hot." Zoya said.

"Oh really," Webb said.

"Yes really, have you ever looked at him?" Zoya asked.

"Is this another attempt at finding out if I'm gay?" Webb asked.

"No," Zoya smiled. "I got my answer this morning."

"About this morning," Webb said.

"A tension buster," Zoya interrupted and that ended the conversation.  The remainder of the ride was spent in silence.