Fangirls Anonymous, Chapter Three-Ph34r m3?

The Author: Yes, people, the title is "Ph34r m3?". Originally, it was "Ph34r my l337 f4ngirl 5killz". Heh. O_o
Cioshi: You know, if ya keep it up, this story might actually succeed...unlike FotD. X3
The Author: -_-; Oh. We capitolize a lot on Kyle's "questionable sexuality" in this chapter. OH! and we have a mini-scene here for ja. Um...enjoy? (mini-scene begins and ends with %s.)
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*The Author, Cioshi, and Kyle are sitting...somewhere. The Author is browsing around fanfiction.net, Cioshi is rolling a pair of The Author's D&D d20 dice boredly, and Kyle is playing Tetris on The Author's gameboy colour...which happens to be pink.*

The Author: Hmm..let's check reviews, shall we?
Cioshi: YAY! I got seven. *rolls* YAY! I got thirteen...
Kyle: No..no...no...no...noo....NO! DAMMIT! *looks like he's on the verge of attempting to rip the (pink) gameboy colour apart*
The Author: Sheesh, be careful with that, would ya? OOH! Review! *reads*
Cioshi: We have reviews? O_O;;
Kyle: Gasp.
The Author: Uhh...dude...Cio...Kyle...someone actually suggested that we create a Fanboys Anonymous.
Cioshi: What, for gay fanboys?
The Author: No, and that was kinda mean. o.O It's a good idea, really...but who would write it? I certaintly can't write one, seeing as how I don't have the mind of a boy n' all that..Cioshi would probably turn it into a gothic-angst-romance somehow, and there's still the whole not a guy problem...
Kyle: I'll do it!
Cioshi: Yeah...who should we get to write it?
Kyle: I will!
Cioshi: Shaddup, will ya? *throws the d20 dice at Kyle's head* We're trynna figure out who'll write this!
Kyle: *KLUNK!* OW! I said I will!
The Author: Cio...you know imma have to disinfect those, right?
Cioshi: Yup.
The Author: *looks at the small population of male readers, pleadingly* Any of you wanna try and write a Fanboys A? Email me if ya do...
Kyle: I WANNA!
The Author: It's either that, or we'll have to have Kyle write it-
Kyle: YES! OH HOLY GOD YES!
Cioshi:-but he probably has the writing talents of a flying, purple and pink south american dung beetle elephant.
Kyle: GAH! x.X
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The Actual Story ^_^;;

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"'Welcome to Fangirls Anonymous, home of a 13 year old boy with'..." Kyle peered up at the giant announcement board, reading the message, then went silent. Cioshi and The Author were in a laughing fit. Apparently, a trouble-making bishounen left his room in the middle of the night and found the letters for the board.

"Who..whoever did this..I..I love you!" Cioshi cried in between spasms of laughter. She looked up at the announcement board again, which only served to make her laugh harder. The entire message read, "Welcome to Fangirls Anonymous, home of a 13 year old boy with a questionable sexuality!".

Kyle was twitching as usual. He glanced up at the board again, shivered, then looked at the two girls whom were literally rolling on the floor laughing. "Can we go in?"

The Author nodded, still laughing. She stood slowly, wiping her eyes, then began to laugh again as she walked into the main building. Cioshi..um...rolled to the door, snickering all the way. When inside, The Author plopped in her chair and turned on the intercom.

"The person who put the message on the announcement board...THANK YOU!" She burst out laughing again. Kyle glared at her, then grabbed the speaker.

"Whoever did that, come down here right now so I can KEEL you!" He said, then stomped over to the door and waited. After a few minutes someone knocked on the door. Huffing in frustration, Kyle opened the door..and had to look up a couple of feet. There, standing in the doorway, towering nearly two feet over him, was Youko Kurama.

"Is there a problem?" Youko asked, smirking slightly.

"N...n...no." Kyle said, shutting the door and turning around stiffly. He sat down in a chair. It was easy to see that he was visibly shaken...what with his unendible twitching and all. The Author and Cioshi were currently banging their fists on the table, laughing as loud as humanly possible, so we'll just leave 'em alone for the time being...

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Ah, there we go. No more laughing. Well, The Author and Cioshi had calmed down quite a bit. They still let out a snicker or two now and then when they saw Kyle, however. Anyway, The Author had come up with "the best plan in the WORLD". In other words, she was going to force Kyle to teach a "How to Avoid Rabid Fangirls" class, just to give those bishounen a false sense of security. Although no one would know how Kyle would be an expert in that category. Yes, Kyle was still twitching, looking akin to what a crapbrown-haired, short-circuiting keyboard would look like if it were human.

Cioshi blinked. "You know...all that twitching CAN'T be good for his health."

"Well.." The Author pondered for a moment. "Wait. That's a good thing."

"Oh..lemme show you guys my chart..." Kyle said, still twitching as he picked up a piece of posterboard and held it out the cioshi and The Author. They looked at it curiously...then Cioshi fell down, laughing. While The Author just stood there, looking from the posterboard to Kyle, Kyle to the posterboard and so on. The chart, apparently, was of a badly drawn girl wearing a short skirt, a tight top, and pigtails. On the top of the board, "Ph34r my l33t f4n9irl 5killz" was written. Then the chart went on to label different parts of the fangirl. It was kinda creepy, actually.

"Kyle...uh...fangirls dun look like that. Well, not all of them, at least.."

Kyle, miraculously, stopped twitching at that moment to blink. "Yeah they do. Show me one fangirl who doesn't look like-"

The Author and Cioshi glared at him, their hands on their hips.

"Oh." He seemed to shrink under the glare of the two girls. "Hehehee?"

"I'll give you something to hehehee about.." The Author grumbled as she walked away, leaving Cioshi to savagely attack Kyle with a soda can.[1] (o.O)

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"Cioshi..." The Author blinked down at Kyle, who was presently unconcious. He also looked like he was stuck to the floor...probably because Cioshi had sprayed the soda on him after she attacked him with it. "I dun think that was the best idea.."

"Why?"

"Now I have to clean the floor."

"Sucks to be you."

"Eh, maybe I can con a bishounen into cleaning it for me. Like, maybe Ryou. Or, ee! Malik! Or Kenshin! Or.."

While The Author was listing off the poor bishounen she could subject to cleaning the floor, Cioshi just walked away.

"Oooh, there's an idea! Whaddya think, Cio?" The Author blinked, looking around. "Cio?"

She sighed. "Oh well...now I have to go n' cancel the HtARF class. Hehe, HtARF! HtARF HtARf HtARF!" And so she proceeded to run around yelling "HtARF" at the top of her lungs.

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Halfway through this particularly boring day at the Fangirls Anonymous HQ (well, of course it's the headquarters), The Author was sitting at the infamous Desk typing on the infamous Laptop. And, apparently, she was writing an equally boring Yu Gi Oh mary sue. I don't quite know why, but she was.

This, of course, resulted in a string of disgruntled bishounen from said anime peering over her shoulder, making various comments, and, often, reaching over her to hit the backspace button. Which, in turn, resulted in a disgruntled Author, who, at the present time, was smacking Joey's hand away from the keyboard.

Cioshi, however, was currently spending her time doing a pre-stalk before the other fangirls arrived.

And Kyle was still unconcious in a pool of grape soda.

Then, all of a sudden, the three of them (er, two, rather) heard a faint noise in the distance. It was a loud rumbling noise, as if thousands of people were running in the same direction...

"ACK! I forgot! The fangirls are arriving today!"

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Okey dokey. I've gotten a whopping TWO fangirl applications. Thus, chapter four won't be up until I get a few more. Thank you. O-O

Wanna be in Fangirls Anonymous? YAY! Erm, I mean, just send an email to fangirls_anonymous@yahoo.com . You MUST include the following information in the email:

Name (this should be a nickname):
Age:
Fav. Anime:
Fav. Bishounen (you can put more than one):
Personality (describe as best as you can):
Hair Colour:
Eye Colour:
Anything else? (for example, how you talk, tendencies, etc.):

Yup. That's all. Oh, and, DO NOT SUBMIT THIS INFO IN A REVIEW! EMAIL!! If you filled out the form correctly, you'll get an email back saying that you're accepted. Woo.

-Houka-sama