Fangirls Anonymous - Chapter Five - The Fangirls Cometh
IMPORTANT NOTE: Not all fangirls who signed up will be in this chapter. I can't put everyone in one chapter...that would be waaay too much. If you signed up and you aren't in this chapter or the next, you'll be in chapter seven, don't worry.
VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: In the middle of this chapter, I'm doing an experimental change. Instead of following The Author, Cioshi, and Kyle, the story will follow a fangirl (one picked from my head, not one who signed up..gomen ne. =/), somewhat like the Official Fanfiction University of Middle Earth and its spinoffs. I NEED YOU GUYS TO TELL ME IF YOU WANT ME TO KEEP IT THAT WAY. o_o;
The Author: Sixteen reviews! Woo..
Cioshi: That's not that much, really.
The Author: Shut up and let me wallow in my glory. _
Cioshi: Mkay.
The Author: Oh yes, and worry not, yeldarb (that's Bradley backwards! I'm so smart! x3)..a plot will surface in good time. *coughchaptersevencough* XD
Special extra feature! O.o; Excerpt form an AIM chat with Cio (raengreiviel= The Author, helloimcyriss= Cio):
raengreiviel: YAMI MALIK WILL..
raengreiviel: UH.
helloimcyriss: No he won't.
raengreiviel: DO THAT THING.
raengreiviel: WITH.
raengreiviel: THE SENNEN ROD.
raengreiviel: ...EW!
helloimcyriss: xDDD!!!
raengreiviel: WAIT!
raengreiviel: THAT SOUNDED SO WRONG!
Yes, we are stupid. Yes, we are perverted. And if you can think of anything else...we're that too.
*******************************************************
"BISH-OU-NEN! BISH-OU-NEN!"
"Oh my Marik, oh my Marik..." The Author rocked back and forth in the fetal position, her eyes wide.
"...mind explaining why you're replacing 'god' with my yami's name?" Malik asked, blinking.
"Marikism. Oh my Marik...oh my Marik..."
"Uh..right." He walked over to Cioshi. "Why is she replacing 'god' with my yami's name?"
"Marikism." Cioshi replied, unusually calm.
Malik rolled his eyes.
"Shouldn't you be cowering in ph34r about now, Malik? Everyone else is."
He glanced around. Sure enough, all of the bishounen were either cowering in ph34- er, fear or sharpening/loading/whatevering their weapons. The Author was still rocking back and forth, but now she was gnawing on the CD case to her Power of Chaos trial. Kyle, whom had cleansed himself free of all grape soda, was, as on the day the bishounen arrived, twiddling with the stick on nametags. Cioshi was looking out the window at the fangirls, boredom very apparent on her face.
"OMFG." The Author screeched as the massive crowd of fangirls pounded on the door.
"...ohmfug?"
"Shut up, Malik."
"Will do."
"Cio?" The Author asked in a sugary-sweet voice.
"No."
"Pleeeease?"
"NO."
"PLEEEASE?"
"NO!" Malik looked back and forth between the two, shrugged, then walked off.
"PLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSEEEE?!"
"NO!!!"
The Author was silent for a moment, staring at Cioshi, but then she smiled and went: "Grr."
Cioshi burst into a fit of laughter, though in reality it wasn't *that* funny. "Oh, fine."
She then proceeded to walk out the door and start yelling at several rabid fangirls.
Meanwhile, The Author had other plans.
She waited till Cioshi was outside, then turned (still sitting on the floor, if you forgot) to face the bishounen, smiling widely and..."innocently". The bishounen cowering in ph34r cowered more, while the others eeked. Her smile got wider...and wider...and wider...
...and then she glomped Kuwabara, for reasons unknown.
"I LUFF J00!"
...oh.
She then glomped Gohan.
"I LUFF J00 TOO!"
And Miroku was glomped...and Wolfwood was glomped...and Tasuki was glomped...and Xellos was glomped.
And then she smiled even wider, and spun towards the Yu-Gi-Oh! bishounen. Malik seemed very, very afraid, but...
...she glomped Otogi [1], her red-on-black "DICE!" belt sliding down magically through her belt loops to be viewed by everyone.
"I LOOOOOOOOOOO- ...LUFF! J00000000000000000000000!"
Malik looked offended, to say the least, as he stared at The Author.
"How could she like him better than me? What has he got..WAIT! ...why do I care?!" [2] He seemed puzzled, then shrieked, pointing at The Author Stick (which conveniently, through the unbridled ph4/\/g1rl magic of FA, appeared on the ground next to The Author and the phr34k3d [3] out Otogi). "YOU! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! DAMN YOU!"
He ran, crying in a...manly way, out of the room, never to be seen again. In this chapter, at least.
***
Kyle was in busty fangirl heaven.
Then again, if someone had hung out with The Author and Cioshi for a year, anyone would seem busty.
Anyway.
"Name?" He asked the brown haired, brown eyed girl in front of him.
"Snoopy."
"...like the comic strip?"
"That's called 'Peanuts', dipwad." The Author, who was seated three feet away, said with a roll of her eyes. Kyle shot a nasty glare at her.
"Dirty blonde." He huffed, writing 'Snoopy' on a nametag.
"Crap brown. Name?" The Author retorted, then wrote the girl's name on a tag.
Kyle hmpfed and handed the nametag to a rather confused Snoopy. "Room number seventeen. Wake up before 9AM so you can sit through a boring orientation thing."
"Next!" He called. The next fangirl walked up to him. "Name?"
She leaned over, resting her hands on the desk, a clump of dark brown, blonde, black and red-ish hair falling in front of her eyes, which were slooooooowly changing from light blue to dark blue. "Rose."
"Heh!" Kyle turned red and grinned like an idiot. "Well..um..hey...Rose!"
"Kyle, stop harrassing the poor fangirl. Room thirty-five, be up before nine tomorrow."
Mumbling something about how he hated 'dirty blondes with bluey-grey-greeny eyes', Kyle wrote 'Rose' on the nametag and told her her room number.
********************************
Here be the experimental change.
********************************
"Mmm...Hiei..make Kurama take his shirt off too.." Muttered the black duvet cover in room 76.
Oh.
Wait.
...there's a fangirl under there somewhere.
There was a soft knock on the door.
"...of course I'll bear your child, Miroku..." The duv- er, fangirl-under-the-duvet-cover snored.
There was a louder knock.
"...Hey, Veggy...that spandex must be really tight. Can I take it off for you?.."
Whoever was knocking on the door winced. There was a pause, then they slammed their fist on the door.
"Wuh?" A messy redhaired head poked out of the pile of bedstuff.
"HELLOOOOO?!" Came an impatient, high pitched voice.
The fangirl yawned and stumbled to the door, opening it. She was met with the gaze of a bright LCD screen. There, standing in her doorway, was a giant, man-sized yellow cell phone.
"What. The. Hell." was the first thing out of the girl's mouth. She had a strange feeling the cellphone-thing was looking at her in contempt.
"Yes, I do realise that I am, in fact, a giant, albiet extremely bright, cell phone. Now if you would please follow me, you're late for the F.A.F.O.-"
"Fafo?"
The cell phone slapped a digital hand to a digital forehead. "Fangirls Anonymous Fangirls' Orientation."
"But..that's at nine."
"It's nine forty five. They've been waiting for you. Miss The Author [4] and Miss Cioshi and the crapbrown haired boy kept calling your name over the loudspeaker."
Her eyes widened and she rushed around, picking up clothes, then ran into the bathroom and emerged a second later with neat hair, clothes (obviously), and the regulation nametag. She followed the cellphone down the hall.
And on the way down the stairs, the fangirl (who is nameless as of right now) poked the cellphone.
"Umm...hey, cellphone thingie?"
"What?"
"...can I call my friend?"
The cellphone sweatdropped, nearly tripping on the stairs.
***
"Die, love, die. Die die die die die die die die die die diiiiie die die die die..."
"Oh Miss The AUUUUTHORR~" A loud, singsong voice filled the giant auditorium. The Author sighed in relief, silently thanking Marik.
"Thank you, Celly. You may go now." The cell phone "nodded" and exited the room, leaving the fangirl to stand there awkwardly under the stares of about three hundred fangirls, The Author, Cioshi, and...not Kyle, because he was currently asleep, drooling on the podium. The Author cleared her throat. "Well...thank you for finally gracing us with your presence, Miss...er..oh...Tera. I'll let it slide this time...mainly because you saved us from the rest of Cioshi's poetry [5]. Take a seat."
Tera did so, hurriedly.
"Hi!" The bubbly, blue haired girl next to her said. "My name's Tsuki!"
"Hi. Tera." She shook the girl's hand and attempted to start up a conversation, but she was hushed by The Author.
"Okay. Thank you for coming to this orientation, even if we had to force you all." She smiled brightly. "MMkay. Blahblahblahblahblahblah, bishounen, blah blah, glomp, blah blah blaaah pork rinds, blah blah blah blah Fangirls Anonymous!"
Apparently, she had expected applause, but was instead met with a "WE WAITED FORTY FIVE MINUTES TO LISTEN TO THAT?!".
The Author, however, looked proud of her self.
"Yes," She said, like a motivational speaker, "Yes. You. Did."
***
Woo...that took a long while to write. As promised, most (if not all) of the fangirls that applied will appear in the next chapter.
...REVIEW. And don't forget to tell me if you like my new style of telling it..
[1] I like him better now. XD
[2] No, folks, this doesn't imply any future romance. Don't worry.
[3] I really should stop breaking into 13375p34|. ...wh00ps.
[4] THAT SOUNDS FUNNY. XD;;
[5] I am going to be murdered for that, I swear.
Ja ne,
Houka-sama/The Author
IMPORTANT NOTE: Not all fangirls who signed up will be in this chapter. I can't put everyone in one chapter...that would be waaay too much. If you signed up and you aren't in this chapter or the next, you'll be in chapter seven, don't worry.
VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: In the middle of this chapter, I'm doing an experimental change. Instead of following The Author, Cioshi, and Kyle, the story will follow a fangirl (one picked from my head, not one who signed up..gomen ne. =/), somewhat like the Official Fanfiction University of Middle Earth and its spinoffs. I NEED YOU GUYS TO TELL ME IF YOU WANT ME TO KEEP IT THAT WAY. o_o;
The Author: Sixteen reviews! Woo..
Cioshi: That's not that much, really.
The Author: Shut up and let me wallow in my glory. _
Cioshi: Mkay.
The Author: Oh yes, and worry not, yeldarb (that's Bradley backwards! I'm so smart! x3)..a plot will surface in good time. *coughchaptersevencough* XD
Special extra feature! O.o; Excerpt form an AIM chat with Cio (raengreiviel= The Author, helloimcyriss= Cio):
raengreiviel: YAMI MALIK WILL..
raengreiviel: UH.
helloimcyriss: No he won't.
raengreiviel: DO THAT THING.
raengreiviel: WITH.
raengreiviel: THE SENNEN ROD.
raengreiviel: ...EW!
helloimcyriss: xDDD!!!
raengreiviel: WAIT!
raengreiviel: THAT SOUNDED SO WRONG!
Yes, we are stupid. Yes, we are perverted. And if you can think of anything else...we're that too.
*******************************************************
"BISH-OU-NEN! BISH-OU-NEN!"
"Oh my Marik, oh my Marik..." The Author rocked back and forth in the fetal position, her eyes wide.
"...mind explaining why you're replacing 'god' with my yami's name?" Malik asked, blinking.
"Marikism. Oh my Marik...oh my Marik..."
"Uh..right." He walked over to Cioshi. "Why is she replacing 'god' with my yami's name?"
"Marikism." Cioshi replied, unusually calm.
Malik rolled his eyes.
"Shouldn't you be cowering in ph34r about now, Malik? Everyone else is."
He glanced around. Sure enough, all of the bishounen were either cowering in ph34- er, fear or sharpening/loading/whatevering their weapons. The Author was still rocking back and forth, but now she was gnawing on the CD case to her Power of Chaos trial. Kyle, whom had cleansed himself free of all grape soda, was, as on the day the bishounen arrived, twiddling with the stick on nametags. Cioshi was looking out the window at the fangirls, boredom very apparent on her face.
"OMFG." The Author screeched as the massive crowd of fangirls pounded on the door.
"...ohmfug?"
"Shut up, Malik."
"Will do."
"Cio?" The Author asked in a sugary-sweet voice.
"No."
"Pleeeease?"
"NO."
"PLEEEASE?"
"NO!" Malik looked back and forth between the two, shrugged, then walked off.
"PLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSEEEE?!"
"NO!!!"
The Author was silent for a moment, staring at Cioshi, but then she smiled and went: "Grr."
Cioshi burst into a fit of laughter, though in reality it wasn't *that* funny. "Oh, fine."
She then proceeded to walk out the door and start yelling at several rabid fangirls.
Meanwhile, The Author had other plans.
She waited till Cioshi was outside, then turned (still sitting on the floor, if you forgot) to face the bishounen, smiling widely and..."innocently". The bishounen cowering in ph34r cowered more, while the others eeked. Her smile got wider...and wider...and wider...
...and then she glomped Kuwabara, for reasons unknown.
"I LUFF J00!"
...oh.
She then glomped Gohan.
"I LUFF J00 TOO!"
And Miroku was glomped...and Wolfwood was glomped...and Tasuki was glomped...and Xellos was glomped.
And then she smiled even wider, and spun towards the Yu-Gi-Oh! bishounen. Malik seemed very, very afraid, but...
...she glomped Otogi [1], her red-on-black "DICE!" belt sliding down magically through her belt loops to be viewed by everyone.
"I LOOOOOOOOOOO- ...LUFF! J00000000000000000000000!"
Malik looked offended, to say the least, as he stared at The Author.
"How could she like him better than me? What has he got..WAIT! ...why do I care?!" [2] He seemed puzzled, then shrieked, pointing at The Author Stick (which conveniently, through the unbridled ph4/\/g1rl magic of FA, appeared on the ground next to The Author and the phr34k3d [3] out Otogi). "YOU! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! DAMN YOU!"
He ran, crying in a...manly way, out of the room, never to be seen again. In this chapter, at least.
***
Kyle was in busty fangirl heaven.
Then again, if someone had hung out with The Author and Cioshi for a year, anyone would seem busty.
Anyway.
"Name?" He asked the brown haired, brown eyed girl in front of him.
"Snoopy."
"...like the comic strip?"
"That's called 'Peanuts', dipwad." The Author, who was seated three feet away, said with a roll of her eyes. Kyle shot a nasty glare at her.
"Dirty blonde." He huffed, writing 'Snoopy' on a nametag.
"Crap brown. Name?" The Author retorted, then wrote the girl's name on a tag.
Kyle hmpfed and handed the nametag to a rather confused Snoopy. "Room number seventeen. Wake up before 9AM so you can sit through a boring orientation thing."
"Next!" He called. The next fangirl walked up to him. "Name?"
She leaned over, resting her hands on the desk, a clump of dark brown, blonde, black and red-ish hair falling in front of her eyes, which were slooooooowly changing from light blue to dark blue. "Rose."
"Heh!" Kyle turned red and grinned like an idiot. "Well..um..hey...Rose!"
"Kyle, stop harrassing the poor fangirl. Room thirty-five, be up before nine tomorrow."
Mumbling something about how he hated 'dirty blondes with bluey-grey-greeny eyes', Kyle wrote 'Rose' on the nametag and told her her room number.
********************************
Here be the experimental change.
********************************
"Mmm...Hiei..make Kurama take his shirt off too.." Muttered the black duvet cover in room 76.
Oh.
Wait.
...there's a fangirl under there somewhere.
There was a soft knock on the door.
"...of course I'll bear your child, Miroku..." The duv- er, fangirl-under-the-duvet-cover snored.
There was a louder knock.
"...Hey, Veggy...that spandex must be really tight. Can I take it off for you?.."
Whoever was knocking on the door winced. There was a pause, then they slammed their fist on the door.
"Wuh?" A messy redhaired head poked out of the pile of bedstuff.
"HELLOOOOO?!" Came an impatient, high pitched voice.
The fangirl yawned and stumbled to the door, opening it. She was met with the gaze of a bright LCD screen. There, standing in her doorway, was a giant, man-sized yellow cell phone.
"What. The. Hell." was the first thing out of the girl's mouth. She had a strange feeling the cellphone-thing was looking at her in contempt.
"Yes, I do realise that I am, in fact, a giant, albiet extremely bright, cell phone. Now if you would please follow me, you're late for the F.A.F.O.-"
"Fafo?"
The cell phone slapped a digital hand to a digital forehead. "Fangirls Anonymous Fangirls' Orientation."
"But..that's at nine."
"It's nine forty five. They've been waiting for you. Miss The Author [4] and Miss Cioshi and the crapbrown haired boy kept calling your name over the loudspeaker."
Her eyes widened and she rushed around, picking up clothes, then ran into the bathroom and emerged a second later with neat hair, clothes (obviously), and the regulation nametag. She followed the cellphone down the hall.
And on the way down the stairs, the fangirl (who is nameless as of right now) poked the cellphone.
"Umm...hey, cellphone thingie?"
"What?"
"...can I call my friend?"
The cellphone sweatdropped, nearly tripping on the stairs.
***
"Die, love, die. Die die die die die die die die die die diiiiie die die die die..."
"Oh Miss The AUUUUTHORR~" A loud, singsong voice filled the giant auditorium. The Author sighed in relief, silently thanking Marik.
"Thank you, Celly. You may go now." The cell phone "nodded" and exited the room, leaving the fangirl to stand there awkwardly under the stares of about three hundred fangirls, The Author, Cioshi, and...not Kyle, because he was currently asleep, drooling on the podium. The Author cleared her throat. "Well...thank you for finally gracing us with your presence, Miss...er..oh...Tera. I'll let it slide this time...mainly because you saved us from the rest of Cioshi's poetry [5]. Take a seat."
Tera did so, hurriedly.
"Hi!" The bubbly, blue haired girl next to her said. "My name's Tsuki!"
"Hi. Tera." She shook the girl's hand and attempted to start up a conversation, but she was hushed by The Author.
"Okay. Thank you for coming to this orientation, even if we had to force you all." She smiled brightly. "MMkay. Blahblahblahblahblahblah, bishounen, blah blah, glomp, blah blah blaaah pork rinds, blah blah blah blah Fangirls Anonymous!"
Apparently, she had expected applause, but was instead met with a "WE WAITED FORTY FIVE MINUTES TO LISTEN TO THAT?!".
The Author, however, looked proud of her self.
"Yes," She said, like a motivational speaker, "Yes. You. Did."
***
Woo...that took a long while to write. As promised, most (if not all) of the fangirls that applied will appear in the next chapter.
...REVIEW. And don't forget to tell me if you like my new style of telling it..
[1] I like him better now. XD
[2] No, folks, this doesn't imply any future romance. Don't worry.
[3] I really should stop breaking into 13375p34|. ...wh00ps.
[4] THAT SOUNDS FUNNY. XD;;
[5] I am going to be murdered for that, I swear.
Ja ne,
Houka-sama/The Author
