THE BACHELOR AUCTION
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The next few weeks flew by. Tonight was the bachelor auction and the women had found the humor in the situation while the men were dreading it. Based on the reservations made, everyone single woman in the metro area would be in attendance. At Dottie's request, which was more of an order, AJ allowed the bachelors half the day off to primp for the occasion. Everyone was at their respective homes getting ready.
HARM'S APARTMENT
"This is going to be so embarrassing," Harm stated.
"Please this is your fantasy, women fighting for you. You're the one who is always talking about the effect that dress white and gold wings have on women." Mac laughed.
"There's only one woman I want to have an effect on now," Harm grinned.
"You need to use that grin tonight," Mac teased. "Don't embarrass me by not getting a big bid."
"Aren't you going to bid on me?" Harm asked.
"I really hadn't thought about it," Mac said. "Talk about being obvious."
"Mac please, you can't let some strange woman have the top bid." Harm said.
"I think you are missing the point of the evening," Mac said. "This is for charity. Besides, it's one night of your life."
"Oh come on, I'll lend you the money." Harm said.
"That's not the point." Mac smiled. "Are you ready? It's time to go."
STURGIS' APARTMENT
"You really didn't have to come by," Sturgis said from the bedroom. "I've been dressing myself for years."
"I came to lend moral support." Bobbie said. "Just because we aren't a couple anymore, doesn't mean we aren't friends."
"You make a good case," Sturgis smiled. "Are you going to be there?"
"I was thinking about it, if it won't make you uncomfortable." Bobbie replied.
"Why would I be uncomfortable?" Sturgis asked,
"You're going to be parading around. Do you really want an ex to see that?" Bobbie teased.
"What happened to the moral support?" Sturgis asked.
"I'm kidding. I bought a ticket as soon as I heard." Bobbie laughed.
"Well, I'm ready. Let's go." Sturgis said coming out of the bedroom.
GUNNY'S APARTMENT
"Valerie cut it out!" Gunny snapped at his sister. "Why did you come for this anyway?"
"Sit still, I want to make your hair look less Marine like," Valerie said fussing over him.
"I'm a Marine, leave my hair alone." Gunny said.
"Gunny let her fix your hair," Tiner laughed.
"Keep laughing Tiner, you're next." Gunny replied.
"Victor, mom wants all the details as soon as this is over," Valerie said as she started on Tiner's hair.
"You told mom?" Gunny asked. "Valerie how could you?"
"I didn't think it was a secret," Valerie shrugged.
"Let's go and get this over with," Gunny said.
WEBB'S APARTMENT
"Clay, are you almost ready?" Zoya asked.
"Yes. What about you?" Webb called from the bedroom.
"I'm ready," Zoya said walking in.
"You look amazing," Webb smiled.
"Thanks," Zoya said. "I figured if you were going to be in a tux, I might as well dress up a bit too."
"Smart thinking partner," Webb said.
"Besides I want to look good for when I buy Gunny Galindez," Zoya smiled.
"Hmmm," Webb said and fiddled with his tie.
"Let me help you with that," Zoya said and tied a perfect bow tie.
"Thank you," Webb said. "You do that well."
"God you smell good," Zoya said.
"Thank you again," Webb smiled. "We better get going."
LOEWS HOTEL
Harriet and Bud were the first to arrive and went to the table reserved for the group. The only ones not attending were AJ and Meredith. AJ figured they were self conscious enough without him being there. The men were escorted to another room and the ladies went to the table.
"Hey, look at me surrounded by women," Bud laughed.
"There's a first time for everything," Zoya teased.
"So does anyone know the order they are coming out?" Coates asked.
"I picked up a program," Mac said handing it to Coates.
"So anyone plan on bidding?" Zoya asked.
"I don't know," Mac smiled. "I hadn't given it much thought."
"Good evening," Dottie said coming over.
"Good evening," They chorused.
"Are we ready for some fun?" Dottie asked.
"This should be cool," Valerie said.
"You're Gunny's sister," Coates said. "I'm Jen Coates."
"Nice to meet you," Valerie smiled.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for joining us this evening at the Smithsonian Fund Raiser. As many of you know we have changed from our normal luncheon to a Bachelor Auction. We hope you brought your checkbooks. All bids will open at $100 and go in $50 increments. Many of the dates you will be going on have been donated by various restaurants throughout the Metro area. But that doesn't mean that some of our bachelors won't have something additional planned. Before we start the bidding, we thought you would like to see our bachelors. Let the parade begin."
Right Said Fred could be heard blasting over the PA system as the bachelors walked out to I'm Too Sexy. All the women went wild. The JAG group sat there looking at these women who suddenly became animals. They were screaming and making cat calls as if they were at an all male review at Chippendales.
"This is not going to be pretty," Mac laughed.
"My brother is going to have a breakdown," Valerie said.
"I have a feeling most of these women attended the complimentary happy hour before coming here," Harriet said.
"Oh this is not good," Zoya laughed.
"Good evening, my name is Scott Bakula," Scott announced and the audience cheered. "It is my pleasure to welcome you all here. We are starting off this evening with some very special men from the United States Air Force."
"We want to bid on you!" A woman yelled out.
"That's very kind, but I think you'd be better off with one of these brave men who serve and protect our country." Scott smiled. He introduced the bachelors and when they were done the Air Force had raised $28,000.
"Good evening, my name is Michael Weatherly, thank you for joining us this evening." Weatherly said. "I have the honor of…"
"Why aren't you for sale?" A woman yelled out.
"Thank you, but I'm not a bachelor anymore, I'm engaged." Michael said. "As I was saying, I have the honor of introducing members of the United States Army. First up is Major Dave LaRusso, US Army. The bidding will open at $100.00."
"One hundred," A woman yelled out.
"Thank you we have $100, for Major LaRusso, a weapons specialist who just returned from Iraq." Michael said.
"One fifty," Another woman yelled. So the bidding continued, when all was said and done, the Army raised $36,300.
"Good evening, my name is Greg Bidden and I have the pleasure of introducing the Navy and the Marines. It is truly an honor for me as I had the opportunity to meet some of these bachelors a few months ago. Ladies, you are in for a real treat!" Greg said. "These first 3 men all work in the Navy Judge Advocate's Office. Our first bachelor is Petty Officer Jason Tiner, YoMan! Isn't he a cutie? Let's start the bidding at $100.00"
"One hundred," Valerie called out. The entire group turned at looked at Valerie.
"We have one hundred, can I get $150.00?" Greg asked.
"One fifty," A woman yelled.
"Two hundred," Valerie yelled.
"Two fifty," Another woman called out.
"Three hundred," Valerie called.
"We have three hundred, do I hear $350?" Greg asked. "No takers, okay Petty Officer Tiner is sold to the lovely lady for $300.00."
"Well Valerie, how are you going to explain to your brother that you just bought Tiner?" Mac asked.
"It won't be a problem," Valerie said with a smile.
"Our next bachelor is Gunnery Sergeant Victor Galindez. Gunny is a strapping Marine who was also a deputy sheriff in New Mexico. He is absolutely breathtaking." Greg said. "Let's start the bidding at one hundred."
"One hundred," A woman yelled.
"One fifty," Another yelled.
"Two hundred," The first woman called.
"Two fifty," Yet another woman called out.
"Three hundred," The first woman yelled.
It went back and forth for several minutes, when the bidding was over, Gunny was sold to a red headed congressional aide for the bargain price of $1300.
"That was great," Greg said. "Now we have Commander Sturgis Turner, he's a lawyer ladies. He has also served on a submarine so he's used to close quarters." Greg announced. "Let's open the bidding, do I hear one hundred?"
"One hundred," Bobbie called out.
"Thank you," Greg said. "Do I hear $150?"
"One fifty," Another woman yelled.
"Two hundred," Bobbie called out.
"Two fifty," The woman yelled.
"Ladies, do I hear three hundred?" Greg asked. "Commander Turner is a hero, wouldn't it be nice to have him on your arm for the evening?"
"Three hundred," Bobbie yelled.
The bidding continued and Bobbie lost out to the other woman when she bid $2000.00.
Other Naval and Marine personnel were bid on and then it was Harm's turn.
"Our final Naval Officer of the night is Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr. He's not only a lawyer but a pilot. Can you just imagine a ride with him in the cockpit?" Greg asked in a suggestive tone. "Let's start the bidding at $100."
The bidding quickly went, before anyone knew it the asking for Harm was $2100. Mac sat there silent and amused. She had started off the bidding and continued to bid until it reached $600, then she decided to stop for fear of appearing too eager. The bidding was about to close when Dottie Nelson moved by Mac.
"What are you doing?" Dottie asked.
"Watching the show," Mac said.
"Why aren't you bidding?" Dottie asked.
"I did," Mac said.
"You stopped. Sarah I know what's best for you!" Dottie said. "Buy that man!"
"Mrs. Nelson, I really don't think…" Mac began to protest.
"Twenty one fifty," Dottie yelled out waving Mac's paddle.
"We have twenty one fifty, do I hear twenty two?" Greg asked. "No takers? Come on ladies. Ok, going once going twice sold for twenty one fifty."
"What did you just do?" Mac asked.
"I just did what needed to be done," Dottie smiled.
"This is not good," Mac groaned and hunted for her credit card. There go new shoes for the next two years.
"Well, the tally is in and the Navy and Marines raised a whopping $45,600." Greg said. "All I can say is Ooohrah and GOOOOOO Navy! It's been a pleasure to introduce these men to you."
The room darkened and the next announcer walked out on stage. When the lights went up the audience erupted with applause and excitement.
"Good evening, we hope everyone is having a good time. My name is Tom Selleck," Tom said. "Our last group of the night is the non military men, a great group who work in and around the DC area."
"We love you Tom!" A group of women cheered.
"Thanks, I love you too!" Tom said back. "Now let's save some of that enthusiasm for the bidding. Our first bachelor tonight is Gregory Martinson. He is a disc jockey at WWZZ radio. Ladies I would to open the bidding at $100."
Within minutes the bids were up to $500 and Mr. Martinson was sold to the highest bidder. Several other bachelors were introduced and bid on and then it was Webb's turn.
"Our next bachelor is Clayton Webb. Clayton works for the State Department. He is here as a favor to his mother who was on the planning committee for tonight's event. Let's open the bidding at $100.00."
"One hundred," A woman yelled.
"Who is that red head?" Zoya asked Mac.
"I think she's a reporter." Mac shrugged.
"She better stop bidding before she becomes her own story," Zoya said.
"Jealous?" Mac laughed.
"As if," Zoya replied and then heard a familiar voice call out a counter bid.
"One fifty," Catherine Gale called out, shooting a look at Zoya.
"What the hell is she doing here?" Zoya asked and moved over to Catherine.
"Two hundred," The red head called out.
"Two fifty," Catherine yelled.
"You ladies aren't even giving me a chance to ask for the next bid." Tom stated.
"Three hundred," Bid again from the red head.
"Why are you bidding on him?" Zoya asked.
"Three fifty," Catherine yelled out, "Because I can, and it bugs you."
"Four hundred," The reporter yelled.
"Cut it out," Zoya ordered.
"Four fifty," Catherine bid and ignored Zoya.
The bidding continued between Catherine Gale and the red headed reporter. It was up to $1000 to Catherine.
"One thousand dollars," Catherine called out.
"One thousand fifty," The red headed woman yelled.
"Catherine, I know one hundred different ways to make a body disappear. If you don't stop bidding I am going to use method number 56 on you!" Zoya threatened and went back to her table.
"Eleven hundred," Catherine said with a smirk.
"We have a bid for eleven hundred dollars," Tom announced. "Does anyone want to raise the stakes? Can I hear eleven fifty? No? Ok going once…"
"There is no way that bitch is getting him," Zoya said as she stood up and shouted, "Five thousand dollars!"
"I didn't hear, eleven fifty," Tom joked. "If there are no more bids, going, going, gone! Sold for $5000. Thank you, that has to be the highest bid of the night."
The table turned at looked at Zoya. She calmly sat down, looked back at them and smiled.
"There was no way she was going to get him," Zoya said.
"You just paid $5000 for Clayton Webb," Bud said.
"I know. It's worth every penny if it means that Catherine Gale didn't win." Zoya said smugly.
The bidding continued and when the evening was over, they had raised over $120,000 for the Smithsonian. The bachelors came out with the organizers and celebrities to meet the high bidders at a private reception.
"Well Dottie, you were right," Porter said.
"I told you," Dottie smiled.
"Valerie, what were you thinking bidding on Tiner?" Gunny asked.
"Relax Victor, I wasn't bidding for me," Valerie said.
"Oh really and just who were you bidding for?" Gunny replied.
"I was bidding for Jen," Valerie said. "She asked me too, now keep it quiet."
"Are you serious?" Gunny asked in surprise.
"Yes," Valerie smiled and watched as Gunny went into the reception.
"Five thousand dollars?" Webb asked. "Have you lost your mind?"
"It was a matter of principle," Zoya said. "Catherine Gale will never win."
"So you were just keeping me from her?" Webb asked.
"I never said that," Zoya replied. "I would have let you go out with anyone but her."
"Let me," Webb commented. "You would have let me?"
"Clay, as your partner I have to watch out for you." Zoya smiled.
"Now that you bought me, what do you plan on doing?" Webb asked.
"I have an idea or two," Zoya smiled.
"Dottie Nelson made that final bid," Mac said. "You should be going out with her."
"I'm glad she did, you were about to let that woman with the hot pink hair take me out." Harm said.
"How are we going to explain this to the Admiral?" Mac asked.
"Tell him Dottie did it," Harm smiled. "So are you ready for a ride in my cockpit?"
"Absolutely," Mac smiled.
"So, what are you two talking about?" Dottie asked.
"We were discussing our date," Mac said. "Harm is going to take me flying."
"That will be so romantic," Dottie said. "I want to hear all about it."
"Mother, allow me to introduce my partner Zoya Nassar," Webb said.
"It's a pleasure to meet you," Zoya smiled.
"The woman with the sense of humor when answering the phone," Porter smiled. "Zoya that was quite an impressive bid."
"I was a little surprised myself," Zoya laughed. "I came for moral support. I had no intention of bidding."
"I am sure Clayton was flattered," Porter said. "Clayton, when do you plan on having your date?"
"This was for charity, we work together. He doesn't need to take me anywhere." Zoya said.
"Nonsense," Porter said. "I'll see you at brunch on Sunday. Zoya you will join us?"
"It would be pleasure Mrs. Webb." Zoya smiled.
"It's very nice to meet you," Gunny said.
"My name is Irene Wilson. It's a pleasure," Irene smiled.
"Have we met before?" Gunny asked.
"I've been to the JAG offices before, I work for Senator Sheffield," Irene stated.
"I thought you looked a bit familiar." Gunny smiled. "So, when would you like to go out?"
"Here's my number, just give me a call." Irene said with a wink.
"Commander Turner, my name is Elizabeth Johnson." Elizabeth said.
"Please call me Sturgis," Sturgis said.
"I hope you don't mind that I bid on you, the truth is I wanted to pick your brain." Elizabeth announced. "I just passed the bar exam."
"Then I suggest we get together and you can pick all you'd like." Sturgis smiled.
"One other thing," Elizabeth said. "Could the Congresswoman join us?"
"Congresswoman Latham?" Sturgis asked.
"Yes, I've followed both your careers. She's a Yale graduate and very impressive. You both are. I would love the opportunity to talk to both of you." Elizabeth smiled.
"I think that can be arranged." Sturgis said with a laugh.
"Coates what are you doing here?" Tiner asked. "This is for the bachelors and the winning bidders."
"I know," Coates replied. "I'm a winning bidder."
"Really, who did you bid on?" Tiner asked.
"I bid on you," Coates smiled.
"You did?" Tiner asked. "Why?"
"Honestly, I got tired of waiting for you to make a move," Coates said.
Tiner looked at Jen and grinned. Together they walked out of the Loews and into the cool DC night.
