Disclaimer: All characters belong to JRR Tolkien. The attempted 'plot' belongs to me.

Warning: This fic is another of Welsh-dragoon's attempts at humour. You have been warned!

The A.M.S.S.!



"Gandalf! Gandalf!" Frodo cried, running towards the wizard, "Another has been spotted!"

Gandalf groaned.

"Not another one! How many does that make?" Aragorn counted on his fingers.

"That makes it the sixteenth one this morn!"

"Something MUST be done! Aragorn, take charge!" Gandalf said.

"What about you Gandalf?" Aragorn asked. Gandalf turned with a smirk on his face.

"Oh I'll be the intelligent one on this mission..."



The fellowship were sitting among some rocks, debating where to go first.

"I say Mirkwood! That's where they mostly appear!" Legolas stated. "Always attacking us poor elves!"

"Very well, we shall go there first. Gandalf? Does this please you?" Aragorn turned to find the Istari blowing smoke loops. "Gandalf!"

"Hmm?"

"We are to go to Mirkwood." Aragorn repeated.

"Very well. After all, that's where we will find many of what we hunt." Boromir got up from his rock and stalked towards Aragorn.

"And just how are we supposed to defend ourselves from these...things?"

"With our wits of course Boromir!" Pippin piped up. Getting a glare form the man, Pippin sunk back down.

"You have a sword do you not, Boromir?" Gandalf asked

"Well, yes..."

"Use your common sense man!" Boromir muttered something about wizards thinking they knew it all and sat back down.

"Get your equipment together. We set out for Mirkwood at first light!"



The hobbits packed up their rucksacks with food, which was almost twice their own weight. Gimli was cleaning his axe, a smile playing on his features. He was looking forward to using it again.

"Why can't you take a bath yourself Gimli? That axe is cleaner than you!" Gimli looked up to the elf.

"Listen here, Mr. I'm Dirt Repellent. I don't have time to take a bath. I'm out slaying orcs and whatnots!" Legolas snorted and continued tightening his bowstrings. Boromir and Aragorn were sheathing their weapons and putting on their rucksacks when Frodo walked over.

"Aragorn?"

"What is it Master Frodo?"

Frodo shuffled his feet.

"Well, I was wondering if you could tell me what a Mary-Sue is..."





Let me say now, there are some very good Mary-Sues out there, but, sadly, they are outweighed by bad ones. I am NOT dissing ALL Mary-Sues!

I plan to write more soon! I have it all written down in rough!

Want the next chapter? Review please! Tell me what you think!