Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. I do own this story, which is completely mine. Zim and all related characters are © to Jhonen Vazquez and Viacom, but not Nickelodeon, seeing as they cancelled it. Those jerks... Enjoy this fic, it took me forever to write.

A/N: This is my first, and probably only, angst Invader Zim fic. I came up with a continuation of this story while writing it, so I'll leave it up to you to vote if you want it or not. In my personal opinion, it is very good.

BTW, towards the end of the fic, some things happen than may be considered by some to be ZaDR actions. Just so y'all know, I really don't like slashes. I don't hate them, but I don't like them. I'm friends with a huge ZaDR fan, if that proves I don't hate it. But let me repeat; this is not a ZaDR fic, or any other type of romance, and there is no romance whatsoever in the continuation, except brief references to the Devi/Nny thing. Nothing big and they don't get back together. If you want to know what the continuation that you guys vote on is about, read the bottom.

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I'm Going Back to the Stars

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Dib was woken up by a sharp buzzing sound. Hazily, he realized it was only his digital alarm clock. For some reason, it was still dark outside, so he reached over to his bedside table and clumsily began trying to turn the alarm off. He succeeded in knocking his glasses on the floor.

Now a little more awake, Dib slid out of bed and onto the carpet. Shivering, he got down on his knees and began feeling around for his glasses, ignoring the alarm clock for now. His right hand finally grasped the glasses and he put them on. Dib turned to the clock and was able to see the red button to turn the alarm off, despite the dim light.

After the buzz stopped, Dib glanced at the green digital numerals to see what time it was, and did a double take. It was midnight! Okay, it wasn't, but you have to admit that 11:02 PM is pretty close.

At first Dib though that Gaz had set the clock to go off at eleven to annoy him, or that Dib had accidentally pushed a button to reset the alarm. He was about to go back to bed, when he remembered why he had set the clock for eleven.

At Skool, earlier that day, Zim had been acting weird. Weirder that usual. He hadn't said a word to Dib, insult or otherwise, he didn't bother to buy the skool lunch to appear normal, and at recess he had just stood at the side of the playground, listlessly staring at his feet. When it had started to rain in the middle of recess, he hadn't moved, and just let the rain fall on him. In fact, he had shown no signs that he even could move until Mrs. Bitters had called them in from recess. When the bell rang that afternoon, signaling for everyone to go home, Zim had just walked outside into the rain, once again not paying attention to it, and continued on to his home or base or whatever it was. It was almost like Zim was a zombie. Or a robot. Dib was going to try to capture Zim while he was unprepared and get him to explain why he was acting like that.

Dib had worn his clothes to bed, so he quietly slipped out of his room, hoping that the alarm clock hadn't woken up Gaz or their dad. As he quietly walked down the stairs, he had several doubtful thoughts. 'What if Zim has finally come up with a plan I can't beat?' he thought, approaching the front door. That would explain why he was so zoned out at skool. 'What if he's getting reinforcements from his planet? Or he's got some new weapon? Or he's poisoned Earth's water supply?' Dib thought, fumbling with the lock on the door. 'What if this is all a trap?' Dib stopped dead in his tracks, one foot in the house and one outside. Zim could have been acting the whole time at skool, trying to make Dib suspicious so that he would do exactly what he -was- doing, try to sneak up on Zim. 'Is Zim a good enough actor to do walk into the rain without flinching?' Dib wondered. Dib sighed deeply. Well, if he didn't continue with his plan, he would probably never find out.

Dib walked along the street, occasionally stepping in a puddle or two, the result of the afternoon's rain. It was a full moon, and the grass in front of the houses were covered in dew (not to be mistaken with DOO). Dib could see small flowers blooming on many trees. Lots of the flowers were falling off already, since spring was almost over. Dib wished that he could just go on a walk like this, in the dark, with the moon and the flowers and the dew. Unfortunately, there was something he had to do first.

Dib thought he would never reach the house, then suddenly it was just to his right, the green walls glowing eerily in the moonlight. Very very eerily. Dib shivered and kept walking. Maybe he -could- take a walk, and come back around 11:30...

As Dib passed the left side of the house, he saw Zim standing between his "house" and the fence, just standing there. Like he was waiting for something. Dib stopped walking, and nervously wondered if Zim was waiting for -him-.

After a moment's hesitation, Dib began walking towards Zim, his boots rustling as they brushed aside the dew-soaked grass. Zim still hadn't moved. He was... standing, facing the fence, his thin arms crossed in front of his chest, his red eyes looking down at his feet. 'Zim's out of disguise?' Dib thought.

Dib thought he heard Zim take a deep shuddering breath, like a sigh, but that might have been the grass.

The grass brushed quietly against Dib's legs. It was a tickling touch, but to his mind it was almost like the blades were feebly trying to hold Dib back. He could almost here the rustlings as whispered warnings, saying "Stay away, go back, before it's too late."

'Too late for what?' Dib wondered.

There! An unmistakably sigh! Dib stopped walking, wondering what was wrong with Zim, who hadn't seemed to notice Dib yet. 'Is this really a trap?' Dib asked himself. 'Could this all be an elaborate act? Or is it something else?'

Every one of Dib's instincts were screaming at him to leave, but despite his nervousness he worked up the courage to make his presence known. "Zim?" he said.

Zim turned to look at Dib, uncrossing his arms. At first he looked surprised, but the emotion left and he said calmly, "Hello Dib. I wasn't expecting to see you." Zim's voice wasn't quite normal. It was definitely Zim's voice, but calm, peaceful, like...Dib couldn't quite understand.

"What are you doing out here?" Dib asked. He sounded confident, but his left hand was gravitating towards his left trench coat pocket.

Zim half smiled. "I don't belong here, and I never did. I'm going back to the stars."

Dib stared at Zim in shock. Was he saying he was leaving? Abandoning Earth and going back to his home planet? It was too good to be true! Dib wouldn't have to worry about Zim destroying Earth, or trying to kill him, or-- Why was he outside if he was leaving??

"If you -are- leaving, how come you aren't inside? Getting your ship ready?" Dib demanded.

Zim said quietly, "I'm not leaving like that." Actually, everything Zim had said that night was quiet. And now Dib could detect another emotion; happiness. So, Zim was happy and quiet and peaceful. Like someone at a funeral who knew their dead loved one was in a better place. Actually, Zim was more like the dead person at the funeral...

'Where did -that- come from?' Dib thought. Dib just couldn't describe Zim.

"Well, if you're not leaving like that, what are you waiting for out here?" Dib asked.

Zim looked towards the sky. "I'm waiting for the right time to leave." He looked at Dib again, and said so quietly he almost couldn't hear it, "It's almost time."

A soft wind blew the words around and around Dib, then carried them away, blowing the grass and staring a whole new chorus of "Stay away," blowing some of the wilting blossoms off nearby trees. Dib shivered, and realized that Zim was no longer standing in front of his, but using his spider-legs to climb up the side of his glowing green house. Dib watched, wondering how to follow him.

Another breeze, this time to Dib's back. His trench coat flapped around him noiselessly. A blossom blew past Dib's face, brushing his cheek. He looked over his shoulder to find the source of it, and saw the tree in front of Zim's house in bloom. A few branches reached the top of Zim's roof.

Dib jogged through the "Stay away" grass to the tree and started climbing it. The rough bark was cold against Dib's cheek, and he shivered as he reached a low branch. He pulled himself onto it, and crawled towards the glowing house. 'Funny, I've never noticed the house glowing before,' Dib though. It was almost like it knew something was going to happen.

He jumped off the branch and landed on the slanted roof of Zim's house. Everything was bathed in the blue-green glow, making everything look the same. The roof wasn't as slanted as it appeared from the ground, so Dib walked easily over to where Zim was standing. He had his hands in pockets on his pants that Dib had never notices before, and he was staring at the full moon.

Dib waited, expecting Zim to say something, but his eyes were still focused on the moon. Except, not exactly focused. He was facing the moon, but he didn't see it. Dib stood beside Zim and looked to the moon too, wondering what Zim saw.

After the longest time, Dib saw Zim nod out of the corner of his eye. "It's time." Dib turned to Zim, wondering how Zim would leave without his ship.

Slowly, Zim withdrew something from his right pocket. Dib leaned forward to see what it was. The moon reflected off... a blade? Of a knife? A chill ran up Dib's spine. So it -was- a trap. Just an elaborate plan to kill a flaw in Zim's takeover. Dib's hand flew to his left trench coat pocket again, where he had hidden a water gun.

As a cloud passed in front of the moon, Zim let his arm fall limply to his side, the long knife dangling in his grasp. "It wasn't time, after all," he said, sounding disappointed, but still so calm, so annoyingly patient, so... depressed.

Dib blinked. Where did -that- come from? Zim -was- calm, yes, and quiet. And he seemed happy. But depressed?

The knife caught Dib's gaze again. His hand reached for his left pocket again, and he said, "So this was a trap."

Zim looked at Dib and slowly shook his head. "I didn't even know you would be here. I gave up on any thoughts of anyone caring about what I did, along with taking over Earth, last night. I didn't think anyone would try to stop me from doing this." Zim laughed dryly. "But, that's not why you're here, is it?"

Something in Zim's voice told Dib he should go, but another told him to stay. Dib's own inner voice was telling him he didn't want to know any more that he already did, but he remained. "What do you mean, 'I gave up on any thoughts of anyone caring about what I did'? Why aren't you trying to take over Earth?"

Zim looked up at the moon, as if looking for an answer to Dib's questions. But he pried his eyes away, and looked at Dib.

"Are you sure you want to know?" Zim asked. Dib nodded, and Zim sighed reluctantly.

"Last night," he began, "I was reporting to the Tallest, my leaders, as usual. I was telling them how my mission to take over Earth was going. They started giving each other funny looks, so I asked them what was wrong. Tallest Purple said, 'There is no mission.' They told me that I was never supposed to come to Operation: Impending Doom II, but since they didn't want to deal with me, they sent me into space with a Voot Cruiser and thought they would never hear from me again." Zim looked up at the stars. "I've always been ignored, rejected, forgotten. When I tried to get attention, I messed up, and others saw me then, but they despised me. I was pushed away even more." Zim looked at Dib again. "Do you know what the Tallest did after they told me that?" he asked. Dib slowly shook his head, wondering what Zim would do if he made too many sudden movements. "They laughed at me. My leaders, the Tallest, laughed at my stupidity." Zim looked down.

"I deserved that," he continued. "I was too naïve, I trusted them too much. I believed that I could be accepted, and I never will be." Zim's voice was low and angry, filled with contempt for the Tallest, or else his own self- loath. "The Tallest forbade me from going back to Irk, or to any planet the Irken Empire controls. And I can't stay here. You Earthens won't accept me. I'm too different. That's just how you work. You don't accept anything except the exact definition of 'normal'." The angry tone left his voice. "There's no place for me here. Or anywhere. So I'm going back to the stars."

Dib didn't think he had quite understood the details to the enigmatic story Zim had told him, but he knew he had gotten the basic idea. "If there's no place for you here, and you're not allowed on your planet, why are you going back to Irk?" Dib asked, by now more curious than afraid of a trap.

"I'm going to the stars, not Irk," Zim said, his voice still as quiet as it had been when Dib had walked up to him and heard him sigh. Had it only been five minutes ago? Dib was beginning to see Zim in a whole new light.

"I'm leaving this world. No this dimension!" Zim's voice was rising now, but it wasn't layered with the power-crazed insanity it had always been. "I'm leaving my mortal bindings, my groundly ties, to reach the stars on my own, to fly among them without the protecting walls of a Voot!" Zim's voice dropped to a whisper. "All I'm waiting for, is the right time to leave."

Dib struggled to understand. "I'm leaving these mortal bindings." Dib knew he knew what was happening, but he pushed it back, not wanting to understand. As Zim raised his head to the moon again, the reality finally slammed into Dib, and he couldn't hold it back. Zim was committing suicide.

Zim was committing suicide.

Zim was committing suicide.

Zim was committing suicide.

Once the thought entered Dib's brain, it was stuck. He had to stop the words...

"NO!" The word ripped from Dib, pulled out like something reached inside and tore it free. And it wasn't done yet. "You can't do this, Zim! So you had a bad day! That's no reason to END it!" Dib paused for a breath, then jumped back in, the unbidden words still coming through his mouth. "Zim, look, I -HATE- you! I hate your -GUTS-! I hate your -MOTHER'S- guts! But you don't have to do this! You could call the Tallest, tell them how you feel and ask for a second chance. You could learn about humans here then move across the country and act like a normal human." Dib sank to his knees, not believing he was trying to help his arch nemesis. The thing that was taking the words from him had gone, leaving Dib energyless. "You... you don't have to do this Zim."

Zim looked at Dib for a long moment, then walked over to Dib, and in the glowing blue-green light Dib could see the confusion written on the alien's face. "Why are you trying to stop me?" he asked.

Dib sighed, not knowing why, but he gave the answer he believed to be closest to the truth. "Because it's the right thing. I can't let you do this."

Zim smiled weakly. "Thanks for trying, Dib, but you're wrong. I do have to do this." He looked at the sky again, once more waiting for something to give him permission to let go.

Dib wearily sank to his knees. How do you stop someone from killing themselves? Every gadget, every lazer, every explosive Dib had ever bought from a magazine or gotten from the Swollen Eyeball or made himself was designed to kill aliens, to hurt them, to capture them. But never to save one.

Dib looked at the stars. The full moon glowed, and there was a silver halo around it. The stars were brighter than Dib had ever seen them before. The glow burned Dib's eyes, until he realized that they weren't burning because of the stars. Dib was crying.

"Zim," Dib pleaded, "Look, you can't do this. You want someone to accept you, right? I'll accept you. I'll be your best friend, for God's sake, but don't do this!"

Zim shook his head and sat down beside Dib. "Dib, you've always been my friend. When no one else thought me worthy enough to pay attention to, you were always trying to expose me. You noticed me. You thought I was important enough to watch, to see what I would do, to get others to notice me."

Zim stood up and clutched the knife tighter. "It's time now. I'm sure."

Dib cried harder. "Don't you feel like this is wrong?" he yelled at Zim. "Don't you feel like you're making a mistake?!"

"Feel?" Zim asked, his voice stone-hard. "I stopped feeling the day I was banished to Foodcourtia because of a mistake! I stopped living a real life when I was sent to Earth to destroy it. No options, no buts. How can one 'live' under those conditions? And I stopped caring about anything yesterday, when my only destiny was ripped up and blown away. How can you ask if I 'feel'?"

Zim raised the knife, ready to stab himself. In desperation, Dib grabbed the only thing he could.

"STOP IT!" he screamed, pointing the water gun at Zim. "You CAN'T do this. I won't let you!"

Zim lowered the knife a fraction of an inch. "What will you do if I don't stop?" Zim asked, he hardness in his voice gone. Dib looked away, still holding the water gun up. Or maybe the water gun was holding Dib up. Nothing made sense.

"Dib, my life has been one loss after another. You can kill me now, and you can be the winner, or you can let me have one victory in a war I've already lost. Your choice."

Dib lowered the water gun, glaring down at his feet.

"Thank you."

Dib faced Zim.

"Please, don't use my body in an autopsy lab or 'donate it to science' or something." A single tear rolled down Zim's cheek.

"Please, no..." Dib whispered.

"If the Tallest call, tell them the truth." Another tear, and another.

"Zim, don't..."

"Take care of Gir."

"Stop..."

"Of Tak comes back, tell her she can have Earth." By then Zim was crying as hard as Dib, his tears glistening like dew in the "Stay-away" grass.

"Zim... you're crying. I know you don't want to do this," Dib whispered, trying one last time to stop Zim. "You don't have to do this."

Zim stared at Dib for a second, then covered his face with his hands. Sobs wracked his frail figure. "I don't want to do this," he choked out. "But I don't have a choice!"

Still sobbing, Zim pulled his hands away, and held the knife high. Zim smiled grimly at Dib, and stabbed himself in the heart.

Zim toppled to his side, and Dib caught him. He sat down, and held Zim, feeling the warmth seeping from his body.

Zim's breath shuddered, and he looked up at Dib in pain. "My Irk, I don't want to die," he whispered.

Zim coughed, and blood came out of the corner of his mouth. "Good bye... Dib," he gasped, "my friend." He closed his eyes and whispered, "I can see... the... stars."

Dib wrapped his arms tighter around Zim, and felt his breath slow. Blood seeped from around the knife in Zim's chest, and the metallic red liquid soaked Dib's coat and arms. A lump formed in Dib's throat.

"Good bye, Zim," he croaked around the lump. Zim took a last, weak breath. 'My God,' Dib thought. 'Breath again, Zim. Come back!'

The last of Zim's warmth escaped into the cold spring night.

Invader Zim, of Planet Irk, died at 11:21 p.m., May 24.

"Good bye, Zim," Dib whispered, his tears spent. "Good bye, my only friend." The wind carried the words away from him and Zim's corpse, carried his words through the skinny, pale trees and blossoms, through the coarse grass. The wind whipped dew and fragile blossoms up into the sky, to the haloed moon, and to the stars with Zim's freed soul.

Dib watched the blossoms blow away, and felt as if they were leaving and empty shell of a boy behind. An empty human boy and an Irken body, alone on the glowing green roof.

For a fleeting second, in the green light, the two beings looked the same.

As of they always had been. Deep down...

"No," Dib said to himself. "We're not the same. I'll never do what Zim did. I'll never cause pain. I'll dedicate my life to stopping hurt, for myself and others. No matter what."

Dib got up and, with a final glance at Zim's body, left.

~*~

So... review. As I said, that was not intended to be a slashy in any way, and if I continue this story, there will be no romance at all. Except the brief reference to Devi/Nny

The continuation is about how Dib is affected by Zim's death, and his vow to stop pain. His intentions are good, but he gets a little... weird. The continuation is about the origins of Johnny. You guessed it. Dib is to become Johnny. C'mon, don't tell me you didn't see it. And, indeed, Nny's intentions are good. You don't have to have read JtHM for the continuation to make since. If you haven't, this story is just the evolution of a killer.

To get the continuation, I need five signed reviews, and two anonymous reviews are equal to one signed. The reviews can be flames, praise, constructive criticism, rambles, or anything. Those votes are to tell me that people read this fanfic. Also, there have to be more praises than flames, or equal flames and praises. Constructive criticism and rambles don't count in this category. So, if I get one ramble, two constructive, one praise, and one flame, I'll post the continuation. Confused yet? Good, I am too. Just flame, praise, ramble, or whatever. But, if you want the continuation w/ Dib as Nny, you have to praise me! An' you can ramble too, or something, of you want.

Now, you're probably wondering, 'Why's she going to all the trouble, instead of just adding the stupid continuation?' The answer is... I dunno. Just to make sure that people will read the continuation, I guess. ^-^;;;

Chow!

~Funeral