Chapter Four: Civili-whatsis
After another three hours, it had grown dark and Seto had stopped the bus outside a little wooden shack.
"EATS---GROSSARY'Z" a crude hand-made sign in front of the shack proclaimed.
"Hey," Tristan commented, "I never knew there was a Z in groceries."
Seto whacked his head on the dashboard again.
"Hey, watch out," Yugi observed with concern, "There's a dashboard there."
"No SHIT," Seto said, his eyes widening in mock wonderment, "Ya don't fucking SAY!"
"Well, actually…." Yugi said timidly, "I thought I did say it. But if you're sure I didn't, maybe it was just my imagination."
Seto started to lean towards the dashboard again, but Mokuba poked his head up in between Seto and the dash.
"Big brother?" he asked.
"I know, I know," Seto said, "You have to go to the bathroom."
"No," Mokuba said, "I can't find my teddy bear. And I'm hungry. And I'm bored. And I…."
"Oh….the teddy bear…." Seto pulled Mokuba's blue teddy bear out from his trenchcoat pocket. "Uh….Sorry," he said quietly, "It's just that everyone else fell asleep earlier, and I was kind of lonely when I was driving…."
"It's okay, big brother," Mokuba smiled, "you could have waked me up. I would have kept you company."
"Woken you up, Mokuba."
"That's what I said," Mokuba looked confused.
"No, you said waked me up,"
"No, I didn't," Mokuba insisted, "Why would I say that? You were already awake."
"You said waked you up,"
"Nuh-uh," Mokuba said, "I said woken me up,"
"Waked me up."
"But you were already awake!" Mokuba said exasperatdly, "And you know what else, Seto?"
"What?"
"I have to go to the bathroom again."
Seto sighed, and took the key out of the ignition. He turned around and yelled, "WAKE UP!" at everyone.
Nobody responded.
"WAKE UP! FOOD!" Seto announced, still louder.
No response at all.
"GET THE HELL UP!" Seto shrieked, losing patience, "Or you can STARVE!"
Not even Joey woke up.
"Let me try, big brother," Mokuba said, then whispered, "I want cuddles," in a voice barely audible even to himself.
"Awwwwwww….." everyone said, awake at once, "He's so cute."
Seto stalked into the shack, muttering incoherently under his breath.
………..
"Okay," Seto said, "I guess we shouldn't have much trouble making up our minds, right?"
The menu, a piece of weathered wood mounted on the inside wall of the shack by two rusty nails, had only two items listed on it:
"Hot Dog: 12 for $1.00" and "Cold Dog: 12 for $1.00"
"I want, uh….geez, this is so hard to make up my mind," Joey fretted.
Seto called out, "Hello? We want some hotdogs!" he tossed a dollar bill onto the counter.
A grizzled old man came in from another room, presumably a closet, since there wasn't space for another real room in the shack. "Yeh do?" he asked incredulously, putting a plate of steaming hotdog-shaped objects down on the counter and snatching up the dollar, "Yer shure yeh ain't them 'spectshun guys comin' roun' ta do me in fer them sanit….sanitar…..sanitree violay….veeolay….yeh sure yeh ain't here to bawl me out for doin' me buisiness in the kitchen?"
Setp suddenly looked sick. "Let's go, Mokuba," he said, grabbing his little brother's hand, "We're not eating here."
"But I'm hungry," Mokubua insisted earnestly.
"Trust me," Seto said, "You're not that hungry."
"Yuck…." Everyone else appeared to have come to the same conclusion as Seto. They all walked back to the bus, looking decidedly green.
"Hey," Joey called, "If you guys aren't gonna eat these…" he stuffed two of them into his mouth.
"I think I'm gonna be sick," Serenity whispered.
Malik curled up in the backseat with his Millenium Rod. He kissed it good night. "Good night, Moon," he cooed, "Good night, stars…."
Bakura snatched up his pink diary and began writing in it. "Hydrochloric acid," he muttered, "Cyanide…."
"Big Brother?" Mokuba said, "I still need to go to the bathroom."
"Go find a bush," Seto said, obviously exasperated, "You're a guy, right?!"
"Gawd, Kaiba, stop being such a prick," Mai complained.
"Oh, shut up," Setp muttered, "You're blonde, what the hell do you know?"
"WHAT?!" Mai screeched. But she was not alone in her ire. Also screeching, and suddenly looking quite dangerous, were Joey, Malik, and even Yugi.
"Uh…..Aheh heh." Seto laughed, "YOU CAN'T HURT ME, I'M DRIVING!"
The flaxen foursome growled at him, but Mai put out a reassuring hand. "Don't worry, guys, he has to sleep sometime."
The four laughed evilly.
