White Roses

Pairings: Hisoka x Tsuzuki

Warnings: Spoilers later on, violence, angst, and possibly gratuitous scenes.

Disclaimer: I don't own Tsuzuki. I don't own his cute little puppy ears and tail. I don't even own slices of his favorite - apple pie. I'm just a poor little girl who finally got off her butt long enough to write a fic. ^^



~*~*~*~*~*~

"Hey, where's Tsuzuki-san?" Watari asked, adjusting the glasses that had slipped down his nose for the fifth time that morning. 003 hooted in agitation. Every time Watari lifted his arm, the miniscule owl was forced to readjust itself to keep from falling off his shoulder. Hisoka shrugged.

"Probably out buying more cake. Why, do you need to talk to him?" Watari looked around the room, checking to make sure no one was listening, then leaned into Hisoka and whispered excitedly.

"I think I've finally made it! My ultimate gender-switching potion! I must be getting close, because it didn't even explode this time!" Watari nearly quivered with excitement. Hisoka shuddered; recalling the last time Watari had tried the experiment. Why did the genki scientist want to make this potion so badly in the first place?

"If you're looking for Tsuzuki, you wont be finding him today." Hisoka and Watari leaped in alarm, and glanced upward to see an unamused Tatsumi looking coolly at the two of them. 003 hooted in alarm and fluttered onto Watari's head. Watari scrambled out of his chair, grabbing a proposal from one his pockets.

"Ano, Tatsumi-san, I was wondering if possibly you could grant me a-" Shaking his head slightly, Tatsumi put a pile of forms onto Watari's desk, and turned to leave the room. Watari sagged into his chair in defeat. Tatsumi could be so cruel!

"Wait! Tatsumi-san." Tatsumi turned as Hisoka stood, fidgeting slightly with his hands.

"Tatsumi-san, why won't Tsuzuki be here today? I-is something wrong?" Hisoka stubbornly looked down at his feet, refusing to show the worry on his face. Tatsumi's eyes softened. He sometimes forgot that Hisoka was so sensitive towards Tsuzuki.

"Everything's fine Hisoka, not to worry. Tsuzuki just has some personal business to take care of today, that's all." Hisoka frowned grumpily.

"I'm not worried! I just thought it would be good to know where my partner is, that's all!" The small furrow in his brow spoiled the indignant look in Hisoka's eyes. Tatsumi adjusted his tie, and turned to leave once more.

"Of course Hisoka. Tsuzuki will be back tomorrow. Oh, and Watari? I'll need those forms on my desk by 5:00." With that, Tatsumi exited the room.

Watari grimaced, flipping through the many forms on his desk. Hisoka glanced over disinterestedly, absently petting 003, who had fluttered into his lap a few moments ago.

"Good gracious Bon, look at all these forms! Ugh, and more money deducted from my paycheck for those Bunsen burners I had to replace.hey Bon, do you have the date?"

"December 14th." Watari froze for a minute, nodded to himself, and then resumed filling out the forms on his desk.

"Oh, that explains it." He muttered absently. Hisoka looked over at him curiously.

"Explains what?" 003 nudged Hisoka's finger, urging him to continue petting.

"Where Tsuzuki is today." Watari said offhandedly as he initialed a document."

"What do you mean, Watari?"

"Well, today is the anniversary of Tsuzuki's death." Watari leaned back thoughtfully, raking a hand through his unruly hair. "A lot of shinigami take their death days off, it's kind of a personal thing for them. Though Tsuzuki seems to take it a lot more seriously than most people." Hisoka put 003 on Watari's desk and folded his arms around himself.

"Watari, how did Tsuzuki die?" Watari paused.

".I don't know Bon. I don't think anyone except for EnMaDaiOh, Kanoe, and Tsuzuki himself know the answer to that question." Sighing, Watari put down his pen.

"Hey, do you want me to take to you out to lunch or something? You seem a bit lost." Hisoka shook his head.

"No, you have a lot of work to get done. I think I'd rather just go for a walk." Watari studied Hisoka's face, and then seemed to come to some sort of conclusion. Shrugging, the scientist turned back to his work.

"Suit yourself, kiddo." Watari leaned back over his pile of work, muttering to himself about laboratory expenses.

"Jaa." Dragging on his jacket, Hisoka got up, and left the small office.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Hisoka sighed as he walked past his twelfth bakery shop in three hours. Holding the sides of his jacket together closely, Hisoka shivered. Why did the bakeries all have to be so deceptively cheery? They were always well lit and warm and smelled enticing.in fact, they reminded Hisoka of Tsuzuki. Hisoka stopped in his tracks. What had been intended to be a short stroll to clear his thoughts had obviously progressed into something entirely different. Something entirely centered on a certain shinigami.

This was getting him nowhere. He'd already eaten enough slices of apple pie to make him sick (they reminded him of Tsuzuki) and besides, he hadn't seen a single sign of his wayward companion. It was time to take a break.

Finding a bench to settle on, Hisoka let his thoughts wander to his strange violet-eyed partner. He'd never been able to understand Tsuzuki. Every time they were near each other, Hisoka could feel a swarm of emotions emanating from his being. Even though he always seemed so cheerfully clueless, so ineptly carefree, Hisoka could tell that there was much more simmering beneath the surface.

Tsuzuki's cheerfulness was real, he could tell, but underneath, he could sense of profound sadness. And weariness. It never wavered, this powerful feeling, no matter if Tsuzuki was gushing over a pastry, yelling at Terazuma, trying to get some money from Tatsumi, or on the job with him. Always, throbbing like an unhealed wound, that strange feeling throbbed in the background, underscoring Tsuzuki's cheerful nature with a poignant edge of sorrow.

It troubled him, that Tsuzuki hid these feelings deep within him. Somewhere along the line, the violet-eyed shinigami had changed from a nuisance, to a partner, to a respected mentor.to a friend. Hisoka's.first friend. Though he would never admit it to anyone else, Tsuzuki meant the entire world to him. It was because of Tsuzuki that he had found himself smiling, and laughing. He would always catch him off-guard with some joke he would slip in, or a teasing smile he would direct his way, and before Hisoka knew it, he'd find his lips twitching uncontrollably until they curled into a smile. Hisoka couldn't remember smiling before he met Tsuzuki.

Musing over this, Hisoka became startled to realize that he could feel the low throbbing sensation of feeling that meant his partner was nearby. Lifting himself off the bench, he began walking in the direction of the powerful feelings emanating with increasing intensity. As he made his way down some narrow alleyways, the feeling grew stronger and more pronounced, drawing him more rapidly towards his goal. His shoes sloshed through the ice left on the ground, as he turned left, then right, then past an abandoned warehouse to find him self on the edge of a graveyard.

The graveyard was very bare and simple, lacking in decorated tombstones, offerings, or even flowers. All that distinguished it from the surrounding area was a plain metal fence, rusted around the edges and bent by the weight of time.

Tsuzuki knelt silently at a headstone three rows away. Tears made silvery tracks down his cold cheeks, and moistened his loose necktie. A bouquet of white roses, adorned with a red ribbon, lay forgotten in his hands as they cradled each other in his lap.

"Bringing flowers to my own grave.I'm pretty pathetic, ne?"

Hisoka jumped, thinking that he'd been discovered, but Tsuzuki said nothing more. Looking down at his hands as though he'd finally realized the bouquet was still there, he nestled it at the food of his tombstone. With that done, he brought his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them like a small child, and silently wept.

Hisoka let his back slide down the wall of the building next to him, sat on the cold damp ground, and watched his partner. The sun set, washing everything in tones of dark blue and gray, enveloping the small pocket of space where the two of them kept their vigil. Eventually the wind picked up, whipping the tassels of Tsuzuki's trench coat up around his face, and a freezing rain sleeted down upon them.

Hours later, Tsuzuki stiffly got up wiping mud from his hands onto his trench coat. He shook himself slightly, rubbing feeling back into his arms, and giving the head stone one final glance, began to walk away.

Once the footsteps had retreated, Hisoka sighed deeply, and sneezed into the night air. Apparently he would bring more than these new feelings with him from this night. He sat there for a few minutes, watching his frosty breath billow from his mouth and dissipate in front of him. Finally Hisoka rose to his feet walked over to Tsuzuki's grave. Touching the top of the gravestone with the tips of his fingers, he murmured a soft prayer, and left.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Hey everybody! What'd I miss?" Tsuzuki beamed, flipping a chair backwards and straddling it. Watari looked up from his bento lunch and grinned.

"Oi, Tsuzuki, you're just in time to try my next potion!!" Tsuzuki choked on a bite of his donut. 003 hooted in alarm as Tsuzuki's arm smacked into her while flailing about the table.

"Hack hack!!"

"Ahh!! Here, drink some of my tea!!!" Tsuzuki waved his hands frantically in front of him, beating Watari away.

"Hack, that's probably, hack, the potion!!" Watari sweat dropped.

"Well.that's true! Hehehe! But really Tsuzuki, it would be a big favor!!"

Hisoka snuck a sidelong glance at the two genki shinigami. Honestly, they were making more of a commotion than the rest of the lunchroom combined! Hisoka rolled his eyes, but could already feel the corner of his mouth twitching. Maybe it was something slipped into the office donuts?

"Hey, the weirdest thing happened today! I got to my office, and sitting on my desk was a fresh slice of apple pie!!" Hisoka's back stiffened and a faint blush began to spread over his features.

"When I ate it, nothing bad happened to me or anything! It was great!"

Watari glanced out of the corner of his eye at the slowly reddening boy to his right and began to smirk.

"Hey Hisoka, you share an office with Tsuzuki, ne? Did you see anybody slip something onto his desk?" Watari grinned mischievously. 003 began running a strand of his hair through her beak.

"I-I have no idea what you're talking about!" Hisoka stammered, throwing a quick frown at the scientist. Watari chuckled to himself as took a bite out of his yakitori chicken.

"Well, I have a lot of work to do. I'll see you guys later." Watari snickered as Hisoka quickly scooted back his chair and scurried out of the lunchroom.

When he got back to his office, he plopped down into his seat with a sigh. True, Tsuzuki had seemed chipper, but now that Hisoka was paying more close attention, he could see the shadows around his eyes, and the way his laughter would sometimes trail off, becoming a little like a sob. Still, Hisoka could sense true joy coming from Tsuzuki when he had mentioned the slice of pie. Hisoka smiled softly. Maybe he'd be able to repay his partner for all the smiles he'd brought to his life.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Oi, Tsuzuki-san?" Tsuzuki looked up from his box of pocky to see Watari peering at him from over his glasses.

"Hn? What is it Watari?" Watari leaned forward to look Tsuzuki in the eye.

"You do know that Bon is the person who left that pie for you, right?" Tsuzuki put down his stick of pocky, and for a moment, a real smile slipped through. It wasn't exuberant, or full of manic energy like his usual smiles. It settled over his features like a warm ray of sunlight, full of contentment and peace. A soft whisper fell from his lips.

"I know Watari.I know."

------------------------------------------ Tsuzuku.