Somewhere deep in the night of downtown LA, in an abandon warehouse, evil
plots and grows.
"I hope you all were able to find our new hideout in order." A short old man was saying. The four big men he was talking to muttered in approval. Two were tall and skinny, the other two were tall and fat. "Wonderful." The old man replied abruptly as he took a puff from his long cigarette. He let out the breath refreshingly as he grinned a cruel smile. "Then tonight we will make our first strike, the Mafia Gang has arrived!" The four men began to talk eagerly again.
Elsewhere, somewhere along the coast of the Pacific, the car pool of wrestlers touring the west coast were still all crammed in the one small minivan.
"We're on the home stretch." The Rock, the driver naturally, said.
"What?" Austin asked over the loud radio as Kurt Angle reached from the back seat to turn it up. Austin slapped his hand and Kurt went back to sitting down. "No, really what?"
"Never mind." The Rock shook his head and went back to the road.
"What time is it?" Rikishi asked, squished in one of the backseats.
"Time to get a watch." Chris Jericho joked, sitting on the side of Kurt.
"Lunchtime?" Rikishi asked and turned to Kurt in the middle.
"I'm hungry too." Kane agreed with Rikishi.
"One remark at a time please, I have a headache!" Undertaker groaned next to Kane.
"Shut up already, I'm sick of your complaining." RVD replied as he looked at Jericho.
"What I do?" He asked, turning to RVD who was also in the backseat.
"Nothing, I was trying to look over my shoulder at Taker." RVD said to him.
"Guy please, this is rush hour traffic!" The Rock cried.
"That means it's lunchtime!" Rikishi grew excited.
"I'm hungry!" Kane yelled again.
"I told you to shut up." RVD repeated and rolled his eyes.
"Make me." Taker faced foward sternly to look strait at RVD.
"I wasn't talking to you." RVD groaned as he turned around.
"Please!" Rock and Angle cried at the same time.
"Quiet!" Austin yelled at the top of his voice. "That's better. What? I said that's better."
"Guys, it's enough that Vince crammed us all into this minivan to do a quote unquote tour of California, but all of you guys fighting doesn't help." The Rock tried to remain calm.
"I can drive." Jericho suggested but everyone laughed. "Bah, don't act so surprised." He leaned back in his chair with a smirk on his face. He was a pretty bad driver compared to Rocky.
"Seriously guys." The Rock grew serious again. "We're arriving now in Fresno, maybe some lunch will help us cool our heads."
"And warm our stomachs." Kane added.
"Amen brother!" Rikishi turned and they slapped high fives.
"Where to then?" Kurt asked.
"As long as it's not drive through." RVD pointed out. Everyone muttered, the last time they had gone to a drive through in Oakland, everyone talked at once and nobody got a right order. "But the sooner we get to Triple H in San Diego and end this, the better."
"Agreed." Everyone said.
"Come on guys, California's not so bad." Jericho shrugged and everyone looked at him. "What?" He looked at them, didn't they like California? He did, other than the traffic.
"Hey, that's my line!" Austin yelled. "What? I said that's my line!"
"Why does he talk to himself?" RVD asked Undertaker, he shrugged. Rocky pulled the van up to an empty looking diner.
"Ooh, Marie Calenders. Somebody's in love." Kurt Angle teased The Rock.
"Hey guys shut up." Rocky blushed. On the first day of the tour, they'd stopped at a Marie Calenders and Rock got an amazing meal from one pretty hot waitress.
"Rocky and the food lady sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, then comes... wait, wait I know this one." Jericho stopped singing.
"She's a waitress, not a food lady." Kane said to Jericho.
"Guys, you know I'm already married." Rock replied.
"Yea, to a hot dish!" Jericho finished his joke and they all snickered "Oh please stop talking about food and let's go inside!" Rikishi pleaded loudly. They all piled out of the minivan and ran into the diner.
"Hi, table for...." The greeter stopped at the crowd. "Uh, follow me." He led them to a corner booth in the back room that could fit ten people. "I'll come back in a few to get your orders." He left, obviously feeling nervous from the crowd of big men.
"What are you gonna have?" Undertaker asked his brother.
"I don't know, remember, Vince told us to stay on a budget." Kane replied. Everyone groaned, they'd forgotten. "How much do we have left?" Everyone turned to The Rock.
"Oh so because I'm the leader and the driver, everyone expects me to know and do everything?" Rocky asked and everyone nodded unanimously. "Fine." He took out a calculator, pencil and paper. "We still have a lot left. Eat what you want." Everyone cheered and opened the menu.
"Aw, too bad we don't have a girl waitress." Angle whispered in The Rock's ear.
"Shut up." Rock shoved him aside as Angle laughed to himself. After lunch, they all had to file back into the minivan. "Everyone ready? Nobody has to use the bathroom?"
"No daddy." Jericho teased.
"Ok son." Rock replied. Jericho was always treated as a boy for being the youngest.
"Hey, did we already go through San Jose?" RVD asked.
"Duh." Jericho half laughed.
"Bummer." RVD sighed.
"Somebody doesn't know the geography of this state." Jericho taunted.
"Oh, and you do?" RVD turned seriously to him.
"Well, I, uh...." Jericho blushed. "I know all the major cities like Sacramento and LA."
"Who doesn't?" Everyone replied at the same time. Jericho felt small. As the minivan drove through Fresno to find the right freeway on ramp, Rikishi spoke back up.
"Uh, Rock, I have a favor to ask." He said out of the blue.
"What up cuz?" Rock asked.
"Can we stop at a mini mart, there's something I gotta get." Rikishi replied. "Sure, no sweat." Rock shrugged and began to look for a mini mart.
"What?" Austin turned to The Rock.
"I said we're all gonna take Brock Lesnar's undisputed title, tie it onto the top of a pole and dance around it with streamers like it was May Day." The Rock replied sarcastically.
"Oh ok." Austin turned back around and Rocky looked shocked that he believed that.
"Hey, that sounds like fun!" The Undertaker agreed loudly. The Rock groaned. Finally he was able to find a mini mart at a deserted chevron station.
"Make it quick big man." Rock called as Rikishi went inside. He came out five minutes later with a bag. "Got what you wanted?" Rikishi nodded. "Alright then, let's roll." They were back on the road again and finally found the right on ramp.
"Freeway racing!" RVD sang off key.
"No, no, no. It's called freewheel burning." Jericho corrected.
"Oh ok." RVD did his standard shrug, Jericho rolled his eyes. As they drove from Fresno, the wrestlers were pretty quiet, allowing the big lunch to settle in their stomachs. Austin was starting to fall asleep when the static on the radio snapped him out of it. He opened his eyes to see Kurt Angle fiddling with the nobs.
"Oh, almost. Right there, no. Aw, come on. Got it, nope." He searched.
"What?" Austin slapped him on the back of the head and Kurt stopped.
"Ouch, hey, Austin hit me!" Kurt cried.
"Baby." Rock tried to hold in his laughter but it sputtered out through his lips.
"You have a very limited vocabulary don't you?" Jericho said to Austin as he leaned foward towards the front seat. Austin slowly turned around to the grinning Jericho.
"What?" He yelled loudly and Jericho cringed at the pain it caused his ears.
"My point taken exactly." He sat back down and shook his head.
"Uh, Rock?" Kane called from the far back seat a few hours later.
"What?" Rock asked.
"Where are we?" Kane continued. Rock looked back at Jericho.
"Uh!" Jericho snapped to attention and looked around, paying attention to freeway signs, licence plates and possible landmarks. "We appear to be in Santa Barbra."
"Why?" Rock asked Kane.
"Nature calls." Kane whispered.
"Yea Rock, I gotta go too." Undertaker agreed.
"Me too." "Yea, same here." Everyone agreed.
"Ok, fine, I'll find a gas station." Rock pulled onto an off ramp and found a 76 station. "Alright listen up guys, barely anyone is here, so make it quick, we all have to use the one room."
"Got it!" Everyone said at the same time and rushed out of the minivan in a dash.
"Sad, isn't it Austin?" Rock sighed as he watched them go. He got no reply. "Austin?"
"What?" Austin's voice made him turn, Austin was running after them. "What? What? What?" Rock sighed to himself. Soon everyone came back.
"Ok, one last thing. Wait here, I have to go." Rock replied and he went. Jericho grinned.
"Hey look at me!" He jumped from the second row and into the drivers seat. "I'm The Rock!" Everyone began to smile and laugh. Jericho spoke in a voice mocking The Rocks. "Oh, I'm so big, I'm so popular, I get to tell everyone what to do because I'm in movies and Jericho's not!" Everyone began to grow quiet but Jericho continued. "I'm gonna shine my shoe up and stick it strait up your candy ass you rally monkey!"
"It's roody po, monkey ass." Rock's voice made Jericho jerk. "Rally monkey is the Angles mascot. And are we in Anaheim Jericho?"
"No, but I want them to win the World Series." Jericho muttered, ashamed.
"Well that's too bad because the Giants are gonna cream them." Rock cooed quietly then spoke loudly. "So get your butt out of my seat before I stick my fist strait down your throat!"
"Ok, ok." Jericho squirmed back into his seat as The Rock got in the minivan and began to drive off. But for some reason he didn't go looking for the freeway on ramp. "Hey, Rock?"
"Where are we going?" RVD asked, noticing the same fact as Jericho.
"Well, we all need some fresh air. This is a tour of California, not a tour of a minivan. I'm gonna find some place where we can stretch and have fun." Rock smiled and everyone cheered. "Where's some place like that in Santa Barbra?" Kurt Angle asked.
"Stop doing that!" Jericho cried as everyone turned to him. "Ok, find a park."
"Thank you Mr. California." Rikishi smiled.
"Hey, I don't know more about this state than I do about this country." Jericho pouted.
"Aw, don't kid yourself." Undertaker laughed.
"Weren't you born in New York? You're an American." Kurt replied.
"Yea, besides you don't know anything, much less something about this state or country." Kane agreed. Rock drove through the city until he found a nice park near the hills.
"Good, it's dead." Rock pulled over and stopped. "Everyone, enjoy."
"Woooo!" Everyone cried like Ric Flair as they ran out of the car and began to enjoy themselves. Soon they were all having fun in the wide open park.
"I'm jumping!" Rikishi cried as he jumped up and down in one spot under a big tree.
"Nobody poses going into a jiggy." RVD laughed at Jericho's dance moves.
"I wanna twirl." Austin began to spin like a ballerina "What, I said I wanna twirl!"
"Boo!" Undertaker jumped out of a bush and in front of Kane.
"Oh, hey." Kane replied absent mindedly as he turned around to his brother.
"I'm making a grass angel!" Kurt Angle said on the ground in the snow angel position.
"Ok, you were all obviously suffering from minivan fever." Rock laughed.
"Fever?" Jericho's ears perked up at that word. "Uh oh, am I sick?" He thought to himself as RVD went to run around in circles like a crazed lunatic. "If they find out that I'm sick, even though I don't think I am, who knows what can happen." He looked around slowly to make sure nobody was looking at him and nobody would follow him, then turned and ran off.
"How long can we stay here?" Rikishi asked.
"Aw looooong as we want!" The Rock smiled.
"Yay!" Kurt cheered and everyone joined Kane and Taker in a game of tackle football, nobody was aware that Jericho wasn't there, and would they after playing for all those hours?
"I hope you all were able to find our new hideout in order." A short old man was saying. The four big men he was talking to muttered in approval. Two were tall and skinny, the other two were tall and fat. "Wonderful." The old man replied abruptly as he took a puff from his long cigarette. He let out the breath refreshingly as he grinned a cruel smile. "Then tonight we will make our first strike, the Mafia Gang has arrived!" The four men began to talk eagerly again.
Elsewhere, somewhere along the coast of the Pacific, the car pool of wrestlers touring the west coast were still all crammed in the one small minivan.
"We're on the home stretch." The Rock, the driver naturally, said.
"What?" Austin asked over the loud radio as Kurt Angle reached from the back seat to turn it up. Austin slapped his hand and Kurt went back to sitting down. "No, really what?"
"Never mind." The Rock shook his head and went back to the road.
"What time is it?" Rikishi asked, squished in one of the backseats.
"Time to get a watch." Chris Jericho joked, sitting on the side of Kurt.
"Lunchtime?" Rikishi asked and turned to Kurt in the middle.
"I'm hungry too." Kane agreed with Rikishi.
"One remark at a time please, I have a headache!" Undertaker groaned next to Kane.
"Shut up already, I'm sick of your complaining." RVD replied as he looked at Jericho.
"What I do?" He asked, turning to RVD who was also in the backseat.
"Nothing, I was trying to look over my shoulder at Taker." RVD said to him.
"Guy please, this is rush hour traffic!" The Rock cried.
"That means it's lunchtime!" Rikishi grew excited.
"I'm hungry!" Kane yelled again.
"I told you to shut up." RVD repeated and rolled his eyes.
"Make me." Taker faced foward sternly to look strait at RVD.
"I wasn't talking to you." RVD groaned as he turned around.
"Please!" Rock and Angle cried at the same time.
"Quiet!" Austin yelled at the top of his voice. "That's better. What? I said that's better."
"Guys, it's enough that Vince crammed us all into this minivan to do a quote unquote tour of California, but all of you guys fighting doesn't help." The Rock tried to remain calm.
"I can drive." Jericho suggested but everyone laughed. "Bah, don't act so surprised." He leaned back in his chair with a smirk on his face. He was a pretty bad driver compared to Rocky.
"Seriously guys." The Rock grew serious again. "We're arriving now in Fresno, maybe some lunch will help us cool our heads."
"And warm our stomachs." Kane added.
"Amen brother!" Rikishi turned and they slapped high fives.
"Where to then?" Kurt asked.
"As long as it's not drive through." RVD pointed out. Everyone muttered, the last time they had gone to a drive through in Oakland, everyone talked at once and nobody got a right order. "But the sooner we get to Triple H in San Diego and end this, the better."
"Agreed." Everyone said.
"Come on guys, California's not so bad." Jericho shrugged and everyone looked at him. "What?" He looked at them, didn't they like California? He did, other than the traffic.
"Hey, that's my line!" Austin yelled. "What? I said that's my line!"
"Why does he talk to himself?" RVD asked Undertaker, he shrugged. Rocky pulled the van up to an empty looking diner.
"Ooh, Marie Calenders. Somebody's in love." Kurt Angle teased The Rock.
"Hey guys shut up." Rocky blushed. On the first day of the tour, they'd stopped at a Marie Calenders and Rock got an amazing meal from one pretty hot waitress.
"Rocky and the food lady sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, then comes... wait, wait I know this one." Jericho stopped singing.
"She's a waitress, not a food lady." Kane said to Jericho.
"Guys, you know I'm already married." Rock replied.
"Yea, to a hot dish!" Jericho finished his joke and they all snickered "Oh please stop talking about food and let's go inside!" Rikishi pleaded loudly. They all piled out of the minivan and ran into the diner.
"Hi, table for...." The greeter stopped at the crowd. "Uh, follow me." He led them to a corner booth in the back room that could fit ten people. "I'll come back in a few to get your orders." He left, obviously feeling nervous from the crowd of big men.
"What are you gonna have?" Undertaker asked his brother.
"I don't know, remember, Vince told us to stay on a budget." Kane replied. Everyone groaned, they'd forgotten. "How much do we have left?" Everyone turned to The Rock.
"Oh so because I'm the leader and the driver, everyone expects me to know and do everything?" Rocky asked and everyone nodded unanimously. "Fine." He took out a calculator, pencil and paper. "We still have a lot left. Eat what you want." Everyone cheered and opened the menu.
"Aw, too bad we don't have a girl waitress." Angle whispered in The Rock's ear.
"Shut up." Rock shoved him aside as Angle laughed to himself. After lunch, they all had to file back into the minivan. "Everyone ready? Nobody has to use the bathroom?"
"No daddy." Jericho teased.
"Ok son." Rock replied. Jericho was always treated as a boy for being the youngest.
"Hey, did we already go through San Jose?" RVD asked.
"Duh." Jericho half laughed.
"Bummer." RVD sighed.
"Somebody doesn't know the geography of this state." Jericho taunted.
"Oh, and you do?" RVD turned seriously to him.
"Well, I, uh...." Jericho blushed. "I know all the major cities like Sacramento and LA."
"Who doesn't?" Everyone replied at the same time. Jericho felt small. As the minivan drove through Fresno to find the right freeway on ramp, Rikishi spoke back up.
"Uh, Rock, I have a favor to ask." He said out of the blue.
"What up cuz?" Rock asked.
"Can we stop at a mini mart, there's something I gotta get." Rikishi replied. "Sure, no sweat." Rock shrugged and began to look for a mini mart.
"What?" Austin turned to The Rock.
"I said we're all gonna take Brock Lesnar's undisputed title, tie it onto the top of a pole and dance around it with streamers like it was May Day." The Rock replied sarcastically.
"Oh ok." Austin turned back around and Rocky looked shocked that he believed that.
"Hey, that sounds like fun!" The Undertaker agreed loudly. The Rock groaned. Finally he was able to find a mini mart at a deserted chevron station.
"Make it quick big man." Rock called as Rikishi went inside. He came out five minutes later with a bag. "Got what you wanted?" Rikishi nodded. "Alright then, let's roll." They were back on the road again and finally found the right on ramp.
"Freeway racing!" RVD sang off key.
"No, no, no. It's called freewheel burning." Jericho corrected.
"Oh ok." RVD did his standard shrug, Jericho rolled his eyes. As they drove from Fresno, the wrestlers were pretty quiet, allowing the big lunch to settle in their stomachs. Austin was starting to fall asleep when the static on the radio snapped him out of it. He opened his eyes to see Kurt Angle fiddling with the nobs.
"Oh, almost. Right there, no. Aw, come on. Got it, nope." He searched.
"What?" Austin slapped him on the back of the head and Kurt stopped.
"Ouch, hey, Austin hit me!" Kurt cried.
"Baby." Rock tried to hold in his laughter but it sputtered out through his lips.
"You have a very limited vocabulary don't you?" Jericho said to Austin as he leaned foward towards the front seat. Austin slowly turned around to the grinning Jericho.
"What?" He yelled loudly and Jericho cringed at the pain it caused his ears.
"My point taken exactly." He sat back down and shook his head.
"Uh, Rock?" Kane called from the far back seat a few hours later.
"What?" Rock asked.
"Where are we?" Kane continued. Rock looked back at Jericho.
"Uh!" Jericho snapped to attention and looked around, paying attention to freeway signs, licence plates and possible landmarks. "We appear to be in Santa Barbra."
"Why?" Rock asked Kane.
"Nature calls." Kane whispered.
"Yea Rock, I gotta go too." Undertaker agreed.
"Me too." "Yea, same here." Everyone agreed.
"Ok, fine, I'll find a gas station." Rock pulled onto an off ramp and found a 76 station. "Alright listen up guys, barely anyone is here, so make it quick, we all have to use the one room."
"Got it!" Everyone said at the same time and rushed out of the minivan in a dash.
"Sad, isn't it Austin?" Rock sighed as he watched them go. He got no reply. "Austin?"
"What?" Austin's voice made him turn, Austin was running after them. "What? What? What?" Rock sighed to himself. Soon everyone came back.
"Ok, one last thing. Wait here, I have to go." Rock replied and he went. Jericho grinned.
"Hey look at me!" He jumped from the second row and into the drivers seat. "I'm The Rock!" Everyone began to smile and laugh. Jericho spoke in a voice mocking The Rocks. "Oh, I'm so big, I'm so popular, I get to tell everyone what to do because I'm in movies and Jericho's not!" Everyone began to grow quiet but Jericho continued. "I'm gonna shine my shoe up and stick it strait up your candy ass you rally monkey!"
"It's roody po, monkey ass." Rock's voice made Jericho jerk. "Rally monkey is the Angles mascot. And are we in Anaheim Jericho?"
"No, but I want them to win the World Series." Jericho muttered, ashamed.
"Well that's too bad because the Giants are gonna cream them." Rock cooed quietly then spoke loudly. "So get your butt out of my seat before I stick my fist strait down your throat!"
"Ok, ok." Jericho squirmed back into his seat as The Rock got in the minivan and began to drive off. But for some reason he didn't go looking for the freeway on ramp. "Hey, Rock?"
"Where are we going?" RVD asked, noticing the same fact as Jericho.
"Well, we all need some fresh air. This is a tour of California, not a tour of a minivan. I'm gonna find some place where we can stretch and have fun." Rock smiled and everyone cheered. "Where's some place like that in Santa Barbra?" Kurt Angle asked.
"Stop doing that!" Jericho cried as everyone turned to him. "Ok, find a park."
"Thank you Mr. California." Rikishi smiled.
"Hey, I don't know more about this state than I do about this country." Jericho pouted.
"Aw, don't kid yourself." Undertaker laughed.
"Weren't you born in New York? You're an American." Kurt replied.
"Yea, besides you don't know anything, much less something about this state or country." Kane agreed. Rock drove through the city until he found a nice park near the hills.
"Good, it's dead." Rock pulled over and stopped. "Everyone, enjoy."
"Woooo!" Everyone cried like Ric Flair as they ran out of the car and began to enjoy themselves. Soon they were all having fun in the wide open park.
"I'm jumping!" Rikishi cried as he jumped up and down in one spot under a big tree.
"Nobody poses going into a jiggy." RVD laughed at Jericho's dance moves.
"I wanna twirl." Austin began to spin like a ballerina "What, I said I wanna twirl!"
"Boo!" Undertaker jumped out of a bush and in front of Kane.
"Oh, hey." Kane replied absent mindedly as he turned around to his brother.
"I'm making a grass angel!" Kurt Angle said on the ground in the snow angel position.
"Ok, you were all obviously suffering from minivan fever." Rock laughed.
"Fever?" Jericho's ears perked up at that word. "Uh oh, am I sick?" He thought to himself as RVD went to run around in circles like a crazed lunatic. "If they find out that I'm sick, even though I don't think I am, who knows what can happen." He looked around slowly to make sure nobody was looking at him and nobody would follow him, then turned and ran off.
"How long can we stay here?" Rikishi asked.
"Aw looooong as we want!" The Rock smiled.
"Yay!" Kurt cheered and everyone joined Kane and Taker in a game of tackle football, nobody was aware that Jericho wasn't there, and would they after playing for all those hours?
