Disclaimer: I don't own it!
Summary: it's the gang's sophomore year of high school, but when Lizzie finds out what Gordo did, she completely changes.
***Reap What You Sow***
If I hesitated a second later, I would have lost one option entirely. One more second of pause, of reflection, and Kate would have flounced back through those doors, ready to reclaim her crown again and announce to everyone how she'd seen Queen Lizzie falter. More likely than not, she'd make up some rumor at my expense and I'd be ruined forever at the school.
"Lizzie..?" Gordo said softly, and his voice was so plaintive, so scared, so inherently pathetic that my vote was cast that very instant.
"Save your love for someone who wants it," I snarled at him, and followed Kate into the gym.
Everything was different now, it was though as I was seeing things in a new, weird light. All this time I'd been vaguely tied to my past, one hand still clinging to some sort of umbilical cord. I'd just severed it now. Gordo would not give me a third chance.
Did I even *want* a third chance?
The indecisiveness confused and frightened me. There were moments where I hated him unlike I'd ever hated anything before. So much emotion, so much raw passion was poured into that hatred, and it was sincere.
But there were other moments, though they were few and far between, where I deeply regretted everything. Late at night, lying underneath my sheets, a gentle breeze floating through the room, I'd stare into the darkness and wish I could take it all back, go back to the very moment before I'd seen what I'd seen. I would never have turned my head, never have seen the betrayal. I never would have renounced who I was, never have become this monster I was now.
In those moments, I still loved Miranda, was still deeply in love with Gordo. And I wondered if I would ever be fully out of love with David Gordon.
But that was all gone now. I had blown my very last chance with him, and I was so consumed by anger that I didn't know what to do with myself. I was angry at myself, for screwing up the life I had known and loved, and so instead I directed that anger at the only person who could have saved me from it. As Gordo returned dejectedly to the gym, headed for the exit, I placed myself in his path, and squared off against him.
"I'm not done with you," I said. "I finally figured out your game, Gordo. You want what you can't have. You only wanted me when I was your best friend and you weren't supposed to love me. And then when you had me, you wanted *my* best friend. And now that I'm popular, suddenly you want me again."
He gaped at me, the hurt and confusion in his eyes a hacksaw that was tearing up any links between us. "That's not true and you know it, Lizzie."
"Oh, isn't it."
"No, it isn't." He was being so ridiculously calm about this, and all of a sudden I found myself wanting him to cry.
"You're disgusting," I proclaimed. "You're nothing but a little leech. I can't believe I ever *knew* you."
"What's wrong with you?" he blurted, and said the thing I'd been expecting him to say ever since this whole fiasco started, not that I'd ever wanted to hear it. "This isn't you, this vindictive bitch queen. You've turned into Kate."
"Get out of my face, Gordo. You don't know me. You never have." Unable to say anymore, suddenly overwhelmed with the full weight of his statement, I turned away from him and once again landed at Ethan's side.
"Sorry about that," I said, although apologizing wasn't really the Kate thing to do.
The Kate thing. This entire time I'd been modeling myself after Kate Sanders. Gordo was one hundred percent right, and it killed me.
"What's the 411?" Ethan asked. "I thought you and Gordon were buds."
"You thought wrong," I snapped, the exhaustion immediately replaced by anger. "Listen, are we going to waste the rest of the night talking about the dork population of the school? Who did you come here with, David Gordon, or me?"
His brow furrowed, like he seriously didn't know the answer to the question. "You," he said finally.
"Damn right you did, and don't forget that. Let's dance."
As we made our way to the floor, it occurred to me that people had been watching me all night. First when I'd arrived with Ethan Craft, then when Gordo approached me, then when Gordo and I left together, then when I reamed him out in front of everyone, and now as I took my place beside Ethan, still the queen. I never imagined this magnitude of public scrutiny when I'd first dreamed about this popularity. I'd always sort of pictured it as people catching only your best moments. No one saw it if you tripped, or stammered, or had embarrassing fights with your ex-best friend/boyfriend in the middle of a school dance. But popularity wasn't like that at all. People saw your best moments, sure, but everyone was watching you the rest of the time too, just waiting for you to screw it up and be dethroned.
I'd proved my worth, though. I'd blown off a geek in an embarrassing manner (for him), and kept my title for another day.
Summary: it's the gang's sophomore year of high school, but when Lizzie finds out what Gordo did, she completely changes.
***Reap What You Sow***
If I hesitated a second later, I would have lost one option entirely. One more second of pause, of reflection, and Kate would have flounced back through those doors, ready to reclaim her crown again and announce to everyone how she'd seen Queen Lizzie falter. More likely than not, she'd make up some rumor at my expense and I'd be ruined forever at the school.
"Lizzie..?" Gordo said softly, and his voice was so plaintive, so scared, so inherently pathetic that my vote was cast that very instant.
"Save your love for someone who wants it," I snarled at him, and followed Kate into the gym.
Everything was different now, it was though as I was seeing things in a new, weird light. All this time I'd been vaguely tied to my past, one hand still clinging to some sort of umbilical cord. I'd just severed it now. Gordo would not give me a third chance.
Did I even *want* a third chance?
The indecisiveness confused and frightened me. There were moments where I hated him unlike I'd ever hated anything before. So much emotion, so much raw passion was poured into that hatred, and it was sincere.
But there were other moments, though they were few and far between, where I deeply regretted everything. Late at night, lying underneath my sheets, a gentle breeze floating through the room, I'd stare into the darkness and wish I could take it all back, go back to the very moment before I'd seen what I'd seen. I would never have turned my head, never have seen the betrayal. I never would have renounced who I was, never have become this monster I was now.
In those moments, I still loved Miranda, was still deeply in love with Gordo. And I wondered if I would ever be fully out of love with David Gordon.
But that was all gone now. I had blown my very last chance with him, and I was so consumed by anger that I didn't know what to do with myself. I was angry at myself, for screwing up the life I had known and loved, and so instead I directed that anger at the only person who could have saved me from it. As Gordo returned dejectedly to the gym, headed for the exit, I placed myself in his path, and squared off against him.
"I'm not done with you," I said. "I finally figured out your game, Gordo. You want what you can't have. You only wanted me when I was your best friend and you weren't supposed to love me. And then when you had me, you wanted *my* best friend. And now that I'm popular, suddenly you want me again."
He gaped at me, the hurt and confusion in his eyes a hacksaw that was tearing up any links between us. "That's not true and you know it, Lizzie."
"Oh, isn't it."
"No, it isn't." He was being so ridiculously calm about this, and all of a sudden I found myself wanting him to cry.
"You're disgusting," I proclaimed. "You're nothing but a little leech. I can't believe I ever *knew* you."
"What's wrong with you?" he blurted, and said the thing I'd been expecting him to say ever since this whole fiasco started, not that I'd ever wanted to hear it. "This isn't you, this vindictive bitch queen. You've turned into Kate."
"Get out of my face, Gordo. You don't know me. You never have." Unable to say anymore, suddenly overwhelmed with the full weight of his statement, I turned away from him and once again landed at Ethan's side.
"Sorry about that," I said, although apologizing wasn't really the Kate thing to do.
The Kate thing. This entire time I'd been modeling myself after Kate Sanders. Gordo was one hundred percent right, and it killed me.
"What's the 411?" Ethan asked. "I thought you and Gordon were buds."
"You thought wrong," I snapped, the exhaustion immediately replaced by anger. "Listen, are we going to waste the rest of the night talking about the dork population of the school? Who did you come here with, David Gordon, or me?"
His brow furrowed, like he seriously didn't know the answer to the question. "You," he said finally.
"Damn right you did, and don't forget that. Let's dance."
As we made our way to the floor, it occurred to me that people had been watching me all night. First when I'd arrived with Ethan Craft, then when Gordo approached me, then when Gordo and I left together, then when I reamed him out in front of everyone, and now as I took my place beside Ethan, still the queen. I never imagined this magnitude of public scrutiny when I'd first dreamed about this popularity. I'd always sort of pictured it as people catching only your best moments. No one saw it if you tripped, or stammered, or had embarrassing fights with your ex-best friend/boyfriend in the middle of a school dance. But popularity wasn't like that at all. People saw your best moments, sure, but everyone was watching you the rest of the time too, just waiting for you to screw it up and be dethroned.
I'd proved my worth, though. I'd blown off a geek in an embarrassing manner (for him), and kept my title for another day.
