April 2

1:56 am

Ribs is getting better I think.  We made him stay in bed all last week.  Actually we stayed with him so he wouldn't go anywhere.  Evil looked in on us, really suspicious like we weren't allowed to have a rest from being his enemies.  The rest of us were really quiet so Ribs could sleep.  We made a really good list of things for Evil though so it wasn't a complete waste of time.

10:36 pm

I think I sprained my wrist.  I was climbing the oak tree in the garden to hang up Evil's nightdress when I fell out. 

10:37 pm

Bloody painful.  Can't tell Evil.  He'll ask why I was up there and then I'd have to make something up.

April 3

6:23 am

My wrist is twice its normal size.  Evil's getting worried now, he thinks we've done something truly awful and he's just waiting to find it.  But really, with a wrist like this what fun can a boy have?

April 4

11:13 pm

Evil made me bandage my wrist.  I think one of the girls told him.  Plus I'm not allowed outside for a week because I was climbing the tree.  The old prat must not have had any fun growing up.  All he ever did was try on girls dresses and prance around like a loony.

April 13

12:01 pm

I was reading Raven's book on torture. I wonder how long we would have to stretch Evil on the rack before he broke? 

 April 19

7:13 pm

I think I'm going to die.  Bigmouth tried to snog me.  Well actually she succeeded.  She pounced on me and almost sucked my face off.  Not cool.  I'm surprised I didn't choke to death on her tongue.  Are you supposed to shove your tongue down each other's throats?  That's nauseating.  I think I'll keep my tongue for myself thanks.  If I ever become supreme evil like Evil, girls like big mouth will be locked in a closet.  But I'll never be like Evil because I'll never want to snog me.  I wonder what's so snoggable about me anyway?

7:26 pm

In the loo, looking in the mirror

I have a small mouth.  And my eyes are kind of slanty.  I think that's from all Pig's beatings.  I wonder if I wasn't me if I would snog me?  I'll try looking at myself from the side.  Well, my profile's quite nice.  I'm still not sure if I'm snogging material.  Maybe I'll ask Evil.  Next time the supervisor's here.  Snigger.

April 20

3:01 pm

Bigmouth asked if I wanted to touch her fanny!  I think I hurt her feelings when I laughed at her.  I didn't mean to laugh it just kind of came out.  If I wanted to touch a fanny, I'm sure it wouldn't be hers.  Maybe the lass with the blue eyes.  She's quite gorgey. 

3:21 pm

I had to comfort Bigmouth.  I saw her on the steps crying.  She really is quite unattractive when she cries.  If it's possible her mouth gets even bigger.  And her eyes kind of bulge.  I told her Raven would touch her fanny but she didn't want him to.  Sometimes I wonder why girls are so strange. 

April 29

6:46 am

I'm real worried about Ribs.  He's really sick and coughing and stuff.  We finally told Evil and all he said was "oh well, he'll get over it." Ribs didn't even get up yesterday he was so sick.  He's all pale and his eyes are getting sunken.  I think he was crying last night but I didn't want to say anything or he'd be terribly embarrassed.