Futures Past
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Chapter 18- Forbidden Kisses
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A.N: Okay I think I've been slightly tolerant- certainly more tolerant than moronic flamers so far- but I've really had enough. 11 reviews which are almost all spammed from one another- which in itself is against fanfiction rules- and by the same person which is obvious as the spelling, grammar and words are atrocious and rude. I have since removed the reviews -as the offender is too spineless to leave signed reviews in risk of being caught- as these reviews are offensive and pointless.
I do not criticise the works and opinions of others and I feel I have been rather tolerant as everyone is allowed their own opinions and the chance to voice them so I have ignored the flames until now. I take offence to being called sick on a weekly basis, while adultery is not nice or right it is still a part of life and it is my wish that my story contains it however inappropriate it's the only way for this relationship to work and by the way this is FANFICTION this isn't real! If you are uncomfortable with the pairing or my handling of the situation then please refrain from reading my story, as it is quite clear it is not for you, what is the point of reading a story which you are unable to enjoy and are only going to criticise? I do not try and limit your creative opinions or bitch at you for what you write so please afford me the same courtesy, the Obidala shippers like what they write and read and I am writing this for them not for the sad, insignificant little nitpickings of pathetic flamers.
I have a life I have feelings and I happen to feel I am quite a good writer, as many reviewers have seen through my numerous postings and everyone with half a neuron who wishes to criticise my story does so in a polite and constructive fashion. I do not appreciate being criticised for my opinions pointlessly and im sure you wouldn't be either. Even most of the Ami/Ani reviewers who have reviewed my story have been respectful and polite in expressing that they don't particularly like the pairing, my only answer is why read it? For the rude few then just don't bother reading or reviewing and I am quite sick of the constant bashing, don't read it if its not your thing its not my problem you are the ones with the problem and if you can't see this and recognise that it is unnecessary and inappropriate and quite frankly you are the sick ones if you can't find anything more meaningful to do with your lives. Sorry for the long rant but this was a quite unnecessary load of flames and I'm quite sick of it. Thanks to all those reviewers who have the decency to leave such kind reviews and give me such great support. I appreciate you tons, thanks! Hope you like the new chapter.
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Padmé's mind swam, she felt a giddy joy of finally experiencing this.
Obi Wan pulled away first, feeling a little exposed in the Force. His expression was neutral but his eyes danced.
"Now that was the most powerful kiss." Padmé whispered breathlessly.
Obi Wan allowed a small smile to flicker on his lips, but then his face fell.
"It was a mistake, you belong to Anakin and-"
"I belong to no man!" Padmé snapped.
"I didn't mean that, it's just- you two are together, I shouldn't be hitting on his wife." Obi Wan sighed, his voice not without irony.
"I can't be tempted unless I want to be." Padmé said, her tone softer.
"Do you want to be?" Obi Wan asked her, his eyes almost pleading.
"What do you think?" Padmé asked, leaning over and kissing him again, her hand brushing over his coarse cheek. Her smooth contrasting with his rough. Her hands slid down and pushed the large Jedi robe off his broad shoulders, hands snaking down over his golden back, with care so she didn't irritate his wounds. She hoped somewhere that this would carry things further, but forgot about it in the intensity of the moment.
Obi Wan sighed deeply as he pulled back. Whether it was of contentment or something else Padmé couldn't tell. Obi Wan was so hard to read.
He stood slowly, his large hand brushing her cheek as a form of farewell and left, his footsteps echoing slightly in the silence of the night.
Padmé stared after him in confusion for a moment, then guilt washed over her. She had no idea what in the Force had possessed her to do that, why she was so hopelessly drawn to the solemn Jedi Knight, what in her being made her do the things she did or feel the things she felt when she was around him. Maybe there was a symmetry in their souls, great burdens and responsibilities, being hopelessly pulled into matters that they wished they weren't. Every time Padmé saw Obi Wan, he seemed so sad, she had the urge to just sweep him into her embrace and hold him until he smiled, to give some feeling to his weary soul.
She wanted to understand him, he constantly amazed and intrigued her, just wondering what he was thinking or what made him do the things he did. But cheat on Anakin? Betray him?
That's what she'd just done wasn't it, betray him? Kiss his master, his mentor, his father figure? The only man he could depend on? He was already so overprotective, what would he think? He would try and kill Obi Wan. It had been hard enough to keep their secret from the Jedi council, but keep another secret, from Anakin himself?
But Padmé had liked it, she didn't know why she had done it but she had enjoyed it, she would do it again if she could. There was guilt yes, but also longing, passion, desire, it burned inside of her and she felt weak at the knees when she remembered it.
Another secret? What if Ani finds out? We'll just have to make sure he doesn't then won't we?
~
Oh by the Force, what have I done!? Obi Wan cursed himself for his weakness, his desires. The worst part was that he had enjoyed it. What was he doing? Anakin's wife! He didn't understand why he had gone through with it, why he hadn't stopped it like before, why he had been so foolish!
He threw a glass on the floor with a crash and sank to the floor, head in his hands, guilt, confusion and pain flowing through him, extinguishing the calm serenity of the Force. He felt weakness and regret coursing through his veins. He knew that this path lead to anger and jealousy, jealousy meant there could be no trust, and it lead to darkness. He was angry at himself for even kissing her, for liking it so much and forgetting everything he had worked for, ignoring the Jedi code just to fulfil his fantasies. That was selfishness and that was not the way of the Force, Jedi were supposed to work for the greater good, not their own desires.
But what has the Force done for me anyway? It lead Qui Gon to Anakin, and him to Padmé, it lead me to Padmé! They fell in love and the Force decided it was destiny! Why couldn't it have been me? Didn't I do everything for the Jedi? How much have I sacrificed to be a Jedi, to train Anakin and protect him, protect their relationship from the council? Why shouldn't I have some happiness for once in my life? Happiness with Padmé! Why should he have her and not me? Why does it torment me so, why does it make me feel this way!?
Obi Wan knew these thoughts were wrong but he couldn't help it. He was so frustrated and confused, he didn't understand the emotions he was feeling.
Anakin and Yoda had heard the crash and came in to find Obi Wan on the floor of an empty bedroom, head in his hands sobbing silently with glass shattered all over the floor like so many tiny diamonds.
"Young one, leave us be, talk to Obi Wan I will." Yoda motioned for Anakin to leave. He cast a bewildered look back at his mentor, and hurried away.
Obi Wan never acts like that, whatever happened it must be bad.
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"Obi Wan, Obi Wan!" Yoda shook the younger man's shoulder worriedly. Obi Wan was so serene and composed, so strong with the Force. When he behaved like this something was terribly wrong.
He pulled away from the wizened Masters grip, one hand balled into a tight fist, clutching the bed linen, the other slammed flat against the floor, fingertips digging into the thin carpet, almost for relief.
"Obi Wan! Let go of your emotions, consume you they do!" Yoda commanded, shocked at the inner turmoil in the Jedi knight.
His knarled hand shot out and pried Obi Wan's arms from his face. Yoda wore a stern expression but his eyes held worry and compassion.
"Obi Wan, never in my days witnessed have I such a tantrum, apart from the younglings!" Yoda chided him, but his voice held little anger and he radiated care in the Force.
Obi Wan raised his face to the green figure standing at eye level. The skin around Yoda's eyes crinkled as he smiled kindly, offering a small hand. Obi Wan knew that although Yoda was small he would have been able to lift him without even straining himself. He placed his hands around Yoda's and pushed himself off the ground so Yoda didn't have to. The two sat on the edge of the bed, Yoda hopping up, his legs dangling like a small child's on a high chair.
"With an old Jedi share what has troubled you so, Obi Wan."
"I can't Master. I can't even admit it to myself, much less anyone else."
Yoda nodded, sighing slightly and moving to set his stick aside, then at the last moment he swung it round and bashed Obi Wan's leg.
"OW!" Obi Wan cried in shock.
"Foolishness can lead to hurt hmm?" Yoda smiled, eyes dancing in mirth.
"I know I was a fool Master, and someone will end up getting hurt. Send me away."
"Away?"
"Yes Master, you don't need me on Coruscant, send me with the troops, the Clone Wars will soon have engulfed the galaxy, let me go now and help however I can."
"Jedi are keepers of the peace, not soldiers." Yoda repeated Mace Windu's words.
"Let me keep the peace then, I cannot do that here."
"Very well Obi Wan. Depart you shall next week, base of Alderaan's will be nearest, if it is what you really wish."
"Thank you Master." Obi Wan bowed his head slightly.
"I wish not to endanger you needlessly Obi Wan." Yoda frowned.
"It is not needless Master, and I am a Jedi, I am always endangered, if it is my destiny to die now, then let me die defending the Jedi."
"Very well." Yoda nodded.
"May I get some rest Master?"
"Certainly." Yoda hopped down from the bed and shuffled from the room, worry in his heart.
*
"Padmé, you're awake." Anakin grinned as he came into her room.
"Yes, I'm afraid I didn't manage much sleep in such a short time. If I'd known you'd be checking in on me so much I would've made myself more presentable."
Anakin laughed. "I guess I am coming in a little too much, but it's to make sure you're still here, you always seem to get taken away from me every time we are reunited."
Padmé nodded and Anakin sat next to her on the bed, his hands over hers, the black ring she had given him glittered on his finger, a painful reminder. It triggered her guilt, it was almost taunting her, showing her she had given it to Anakin.
He gazed into her chocolate eyes, and she felt like he was searching her soul.
"No matter what anyone says, we will be together forever, no-one will take you away from me, alright? NO-ONE. I will kill any man who tries, if he even touches you, if he even looks at you- thinks about you, I will kill him. Starting with Dooku and his Master. No-one will hurt you Padmé I promise you." Padmé supposed this was meant as comfort, but it was the least comfortable she had been for some time.
This only heightened her worry about Obi Wan, what Anakin would do and what he was capable of.
"Love you." He said, placing fleeting kisses over her lips as he undid her nightdress.
"Love you." She echoed, staring blankly at the ceiling, wishing she could feel something, but all that was on her mind was her new forbidden kiss and the man that gave it to her.
*
