Futures Past

Chapter 26- Deception

By the way, Obi Wan's poem is actually a song by Daniel Bedingfield, called If You're Not the One, I thought it was perfect to describe Obi and Padmé's relationship, I recommend you go download it, it really is a beautiful ballad.  And I decided against the sex scene, I thought it best to leave it to your imagination, but don't worry, there will be flashbacks about it later on, you'll understand it all later anyway, I just don't think I could do it justice and I'm not really good at that kinda thing anyway ^^! This is quite a long chap, just to warn you! Enjoy, and happy holidays!

*

When Padmé woke the next morning she turned to face the man she knew she truly loved, but to her dismay the space next to her was empty, save a piece of paper on the pillow.

Dearest Padmé

It pains me to leave you so soon, but you looked so beautiful in your sleep I hadn't the heart to wake you, especially as it was so early. I don't believe in goodbyes anyway, though I would have preferred to talk to you, a holo-message did not suit my purposes for this note, I feel romantic letters are all the more special in these circumstances, don't you. I woke early and simply lay watching you sleep for hours, you truly are an angel, there is no other way to express your radiance. And while I was watching you, I was inspired, so had to put pen to paper, and what follows is what I wrote for you, dedicated to us, so that while I am away you may have it as a keepsake, in case I do not have the chance to write, you will still have a letter just like you wanted. Words cannot express what you have done for me Padmé, and there can be no greater gift than what you have given me, I can only hope to give it to you in return, tenfold if possible. Though our situation seems tragic and difficult, I feel it will only make us stronger if we have each other, you have shown me what it is to love, and you have made me so much more…complete in doing so. Once this war is over, if necessary I will devote my life to making you happy, for one night of joy has given me a lifetime of love and shown me what I was lacking. Perhaps we should appeal to change the Jedi Code, I'm sure Master Yoda and Master Yaddle would make a fine couple, don't you agree? Ah! I see time is already against me, by the time you read this I will probably be on my transport. Pray for us all Padmé, we will need all the help we can get. Until I can come back to you, keep this poem and my love close to your heart, and I will keep you forever in mine. Think of me whenever you read this-

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I'm  praying you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

Until we meet again, I remain eternally yours

Obi Wan

Padmé was unaware of the salty tears running down her cheeks until one dropped from her cheek and created a small pool on the delicate paper, thankfully missing Obi Wan's elegant inscription. Exhaling shakily she put the letter down and wiped away her tears with the heel of her hand, checking the time. 8 AM standard time, Obi Wan probably left before 6. She hoped he had not met her handmaidens or Captain Typhoo on his exit, there would have been some explaining to do. With Obi Wan's letter, Padmé's resolve was strengthened, she loved Obi Wan, and no-one else's opinion mattered, whether it was destiny or a mistake, it was a risk she was willing to take. She just wondered how she would cope knowing the man she loved could be in constant danger, while he was still gravely injured no less! She also wondered what she would do around Anakin, but she was a diplomat, and a politician, if anyone could handle Anakin it was her. A part of her still loved Anakin, but she had already started to notice a change in him, ever since the death of his mother it had been a downhill spiral which Obi Wan had confided in her once worried him no end, the elder Jedi had been sure Anakin's destructive behaviour would only worsen and it would destroy the young man unless it was halted, but Master Yoda apparently still had confidence in Obi Wan's teaching abilities, and insisted Obi Wan could handle it.

Padmé worried, she had been having dreams about Anakin lately, and they were not pleasant, on the contrary they were heinous for the most part. Most of these dreams involved Anakin, herself and Obi Wan, and on one occasion, two small babies, one with thin curls of brown hair and the other a shock of blonde. She had held them, but given them to Obi Wan for some reason… it all got rather foggy after a while, the dreams all blurred together like a watercolour.

But Padmé did not have time for idle thoughts, she had to prepare to go back to Naboo for discussions on the war, and talk to Anakin, she definitely felt something pressing her to do that.

Maybe that all powerful Force decided to make an appearance after all, maybe if things had been different I could've been a Jedi… why does my mind wander so much these days! There is important work to be done!

She swung her legs over the side of the bed, and found a dress of the deepest emerald green, with long sleeves and a square cut collar. She would of course need help with her hair, Versé was particularly adept at the intricate hair designs Padmé enjoyed. Padmé had always imagined having a daughter with hair like hers so she could put it into grand styles and play around with it, she wondered if she would ever have children. Two would be nice, one of each, a boy and a girl. She had always liked names beginning with L or J, but she felt rather silly thinking about it when she didn't even know what her husband was thinking or where her lover would be in a few months time, and frankly she didn't want to think about either.

*

Anakin had just conducted another meeting with Chancellor Palpatine who had asked him all sorts of questions about what he thought of the state of the Galaxy, how he would like to do things if he were in power, what needed changing, that sort of thing. It had made Anakin feel rather important indeed to know his opinions mattered to the Supreme Chancellor of the Galaxy, and he was pleasantly surprised to find the Chancellors views matched his own on the whole. He always felt so mature and valued after his meetings with Palpatine, he was becoming more and more like the father Anakin never had every day.

With a spring in his step Anakin proceeded to Padmé's apartments, he had decided to drop in and surprise her before he had to return to the Temple for a meeting with Master Yoda. Palpatine had said that someday, Anakin wouldn't even have need to go to the Temple anymore when the Chancellors 'grand plan for the Republic' had come to fruition. Anakin didn't really know what that plan was yet, but it sounded very exciting.

Anakin had thought about asking what these plans and powers that the Chancellor had were, but always decided against it, knowing that if Palpatine kept it from him it was for good reason, and he had promised Anakin would know all about it in time, which satisfied the young Knight for the time being.

Almost at Padmé's now, I'm sure she'll be very pleased to see me!

*

Padmé went round her apartment, straightening things up so it wouldn't look suspicious, humming some love song she had heard the day before, and generally glowing. Sabé was as usual suspicious, still furious, but thankfully less so. She hadn't mentioned why she hadn't heard Obi-Wan leave the night before, or questioned why Padmé was in a good mood, she was just sitting, checking her weapons and holo-projector for the trip back to Naboo. Dormé had been designated to disguise herself as the Senator for the journey- just in case- which gave Sabé little to do, which was one thing she hated.

She checked on Padmé in her room, who was sitting on the bed engrossed in a book- which unbeknownst to Sabé had Obi Wan's letter hidden inside to look inconspicuous- and then heard the sensor on the door go. She ran to open it and found it was Anakin who stood grinning outside it.

"Good morning Sabé. I came to see Padmé." He said cheerily.

"What is it with you Jedi dropping by to see Padmé, first Obi Wan, now you, honestly, the Senator does have better things to do than entertain Jedi Knights all hours, she is a very busy woman in case you hadn't realised." Sabé glowered.

"Obi Wan was here?" Anakin asked, seeming to have ignored the rest of Sabé's statement.

Sabé sighed in annoyance. "Yes! Yesterday evening, I would've thought you'd know, he was your Master after all."

"No, he didn't tell me." Anakin said thoughtfully. There was a moments silence and Sabé scowled.

"Well are you going to stand there all day or come in already, we'll be going soon so I'd prefer it if you didn't waste all my time."

"Oh, sorry, yes." Anakin nodded and stepped past the glaring handmaiden.

"Let me get her for you." Sabé motioned to the sofas in the centre of the room, before dashing to Padmé's door and calling through.

"Padmé, your lover boy is here to see you!"

Padmé heard this and almost called back 'Obi Wan?' but caught herself just in time and realised it would be Anakin, so quickly slammed her book shut and hid it in her drawer.

"Just a minute!" She called, checking everything was orderly and going to open the door.

"Hello Anakin, what brings you over this way?" She asked, smiling as sweetly as she could.

"Why, to see you of course." He said, also sweetly.

"Well then come in, though we don't have much time." She added as she caught Sabé's murderous glance. Anakin nodded and almost dashed into her room, whether that was to see her or get away from Sabé, Padmé couldn't tell.

"Don't be long you two, we have to set off soon!" Sabé cautioned. Padmé nodded and closed the door.

"Where are you going?" Anakin asked, sitting on her bed.

"Back to Naboo, I have to hold meetings with the richer families to see what we can contribute to those wretched Wars." Padmé sighed, pacing slightly.

"That's a pity, I was hoping we could spend more time together." Anakin said, pouting, stopping Padmé's path with a hand and pulling her back onto the bed to rest her head on his chest, so she was facing forward, away from him.

"Ani! You're a Jedi Knight now, you can't just forget your responsibilities just because you don't have Obi Wan with you all the time." Padmé chided him, tilting her head back to look into his eyes.

"Yeah, but now they're less likely to notice, and I've been a bit busy lately, I haven't given you the attention you deserve." Anakin brushed his fingers down Padmé's cheek.

"That doesn't matter, I understand you have more responsibilities now, we are both busy." She took his hand from her cheek and held it in her lap. Anakin holding her like that only brought back memories of the night before, and she didn't want to think about it while Anakin was there, in case she said something she would later regret.

"You seem…tense, what's wrong?" Anakin asked

"Nothing." Padmé said, almost defensively then decided to amend it. "Nothing's wrong Ani." She repeated more softly, with a small smile.

"That's alright then. I've not been a very attentive husband lately, but you know I'll always love you Padmé, you're part of me." He whispered as he brushed his lips on her neck, and Padmé fought not to shiver.

"I… I love you too." She replied, with much effort.

"And I'll be thinking of you while you're on Naboo, and you'll be thinking of me too, right?" He whispered again, his breath hot on her neck.

"Of course." Padmé nodded as Anakin's arms wrapped round her waist.

"I'll miss you." His voice was little more than a murmur now as he kissed her exposed shoulder.

"Mmhmm." Padmé nodded tersely, keeping her mouth shut, wishing Anakin would leave.

"Why was Obi Wan here?" Anakin said softly, making it sound light and conversational, though it was not. Padmé tensed, but scolded herself inwardly, hoping Anakin didn't notice.

"When?" She asked, also trying to keep it light.

"Last night." Anakins voice was almost singsong in its careless way, as he continued kissing up Padmé's neck.

Padmé winced, racking her brains for some reason that would sound realistic as to why the Jedi Knight would show up unexpectedly at her apartment at night. She knew Obi Wan would not have mentioned it, so Sabé must have offhandedly said something.

"Uh, well… he was…" Padmé was starting to panic, what could she say not to incriminate herself, Anakin was always suspicious at the best of times.

"Yes?" Anakin stopped kissing, waiting for her excuse.

"He came to, uh, apologise."

"What for?" Anakin frowned.

"Well, he snapped at me, earlier in the Medi lab, and he, well he wanted to apologise for being so rude, he said he was just concerned about going to the Wars and such, and how he hoped that the two of us would be alright." Padmé winced, hoping that it was a sufficient excuse.

"Oh. Well could he not have holo-messaged you?" Anakin said, the suspicion not gone from his voice.

"His power cell was flat. He forgot to recharge it."

"Ah, well as long as he didn't upset you, or I'd have had to have a talk with him." Anakin smiled, and Padmé inwardly sighed in relief.

"But enough talk about Obi Wan." Anakin said and Padmé was sure he was planning on leaving, but instead his hand went to cup Padmé's face and bring her head round to face him, brushing his lips with hers. Padmé squeezed her eyes to try and block out memories from the night before, she tried to banish them from her mind but all she could think of were Obi Wan's lips on hers and his soft hands caressing her, every move Anakin made brought back a new memory and Padmé soon had to pull away with a gasp.

"Padmé, what's wrong?" Anakin frowned.

"Uh, I've got to leave soon Anakin, if I get into this now, I don't think I could stop." Padmé said, knowing this would satisfy Anakin no end.

"I understand, I'll go then. Make sure you holo-message me as soon as you get to Naboo, so I can make sure you're alright."

"I'll be fine Ani, there hasn't been any trouble on Naboo since the Trade Federation blockade, don't worry."

"I do worry, that's what husbands do, or so I'm told." Anakin got up and planted a kiss on Padmé's cheek.

"See you later then."

"Sure, bye Ani."

As soon as the door whooshed shut, Padmé threw herself back on her bed with a sigh,

I don't think I can do this, it's so hard… I can't get Obi Wan out of my head, and that's dangerous when Ani's around. Hopefully while I'm on Naboo I'll be able to cool off, I won't have to see Anakin for a while. But the one man I do want to see is half a galaxy away, it's my bad luck.

And with a sigh Padmé grabbed her book from out of her drawer, and prepared to leave for her home world, alone once more.