Disclaimer: I just own the plot.

Review Responses:

Trillium - You have me on author alert? No wonder yours was the first review! If I were Narc I'd be running round screaming like a chicken with it's head cut off too, she copes better than she gives herself credit for! Thanks for reviewing!

Lune Project - You've got the fifth book!! Yay!! Yep, I'm still alive and kicking. Narcissa's feeling about as low as you can at the moment particularly with regards to her son and his odd obsession with the Gryffindors! Lucius is afraid and impressed by LV though I doubt he spilt any tears over him when he fell! How he dares to look to Narcissa for comfort is beyond me, but he won't get any from her no matter how much a part of her would still like to give it. She doesn't enjoy seeing him in the kind of state he was in when he returned from LV that night but she won't allow herself to care and after seeing him the next morning her sympathy for him's died again. Things are getting tough for Narcissa but she's determined not to give up on her son or on anything else. That's a very good point, did Harry ever tell Dumbledore about LV swearing revenge on poor Sev? I'm sure Sev knows anyway though. Narcissa will find ways of attempting to make Draco think more carefully about his stance on the LV issue and you'll see that in this chapter. Osiris is very lovable, I think pets would know if their masters were scared but I wouldn't really know as I've only ever had goldfish! Narcissa was worried that Sev would abandon her because she's no longer the wife of an ex-death eater who causes trouble occasionally but a fully fledged supporter of the returned dark lord who's likely to do some exceedingly unpleasant things to innocent people. She thought Sev might blame her for staying with him knowing this and basically standing back and letting him hurt people, which, to an extent, she will have to do. She should have realised that Sev would not desert her, he understands her reasoning and sympathises with her problems even though he doesn't like the idea of her staying where she is and will tell her so in the chapter after this one. Don't worry, Narcissa is an accomplished witch and there's a lot more than a locking charm a first year magic student could break on that draw. It wouldn't likely occur to Lucius anyway but if it did he'd have a hell of a time trying to get it to open. He perhaps trusts her more than you might expect him to, if only because it could be argued that by staying with him she stays on what is from his perspective the winning side. I too am out of ideas to save Draco after OotP but I will never forgive J.K. for making him bad. Have you read to the end yet? I think the scene that takes place in the entrance hall of Hogwarts between him and Harry at the end is really sad, I pitied him so much in that scene; that's the scene that The Blind Fight the Blind starts off at. Thanks for the review!

Dark Comet - Yay, you're back! I'm flattered that you missed this! Glad you enjoyed the chapter, Narc is going to go through more still I'm afraid! Thank you for the good luck wishes, yes my results are out tomorrow! Argh! Thanks for the review!

Also, thank you to Salazia Riddle for reviewing Wedding Bells, I will review your fic but I'm in a rush at the moment so I'll do it in the next couple of days!

Thank you to JediHermione for reviewing The Blind Fight the Blind, I didn't know where else to thank you so I put it in here.

I Built My Life Around You

**Narcissa's Thoughts**

_emphasis_

Chapter 35

The next month until Draco was due home passed quickly for Narcissa, Lucius was away a lot and she spent much of her time out of the house trying to avoid him or his 'friends' who often called. She began to feel as though she could have drawn an accurate map of the entirety of Hogsmeade from memory she spent so much time there, but she didn't dare arrange to meet Severus. She had heard no more from him and had not replied to his letter, she knew from now on any correspondence she sent or received would have to completely above suspicion.

Lucius was too busy to come with her to pick Draco up from the train, she didn't know where he was and she didn't much care. She went alone and apparated rather than flooing. She spent her morning wandering round muggle London, taking the tube from one district to another. The last time she had spent any time there Voldemort had still been in power and now he was back. She walked past the thousands of unsuspecting muggles and felt a great desire to join them, they never had to deal with evil maniacs. She loved crowds, you could get lost in them. Gone were the days when she wanted to stand out, now she longed to be like anyone else, **I just don't want to be responsible for letting Lucius hurt people again but what can _I_ do?**

As the afternoon wore on Narcissa made her way to the train station. She stood alone on the platform as the Hogwart's Express drew in, watching the children pile off the train, seeing the Weasley's reunited with Molly and watching Molly hug Harry Potter tightly. Narcissa couldn't blame her, the kid had been through way too much in the past year and even her own sympathies were with him. She noticed the bushy haired girl she always saw with him and Ron kiss him on the cheek, she didn't kiss Ron but Narcissa personally found that more revealing than if she had done so. The redhead looked almost jealous and Narcissa couldn't help sending him some mental encouragement.

**Go on, kiss her! You know you want to, girls like it when the guy makes the moves!**

Narcissa was disappointed in her quest for the display of young love though as the girl simply smiled at Ron when she said her goodbyes. Ron on the other hand settled for clapping her on the back in the same way he had Harry. Narcissa rolled her eyes, **What is romance entirely dead? Ahh, but he's all awkward now, how sweet! Those two would make such an adorable couple!** Then Hermione left leaving Narcissa waiting on the platform, devoid of entertainment and becoming increasingly impatient. There were only a few other parents left now and she was torn between worry and annoyance at her son's continued absence.

"Not lost him have you?" Molly asked walking over to her.

Narcissa laughed, "Starting to think I have, goodness knows where he's got to."

Molly turned to her children, "Did any of you see Draco on the train?"

They all shook their heads, the twins with a distinctly amused gleam in their eyes which made Narcissa worry a bit. Molly had apparently caught sight of this too and gave them a suspicious glance, "Are you sure?"

"He was definitely on the train," said one twin.

"Yeah, he'll probably be along in a minute," said the second.

Ron had developed a decidedly evil grin and Narcissa decided now was a good time to investigate.

"I think I'll go and look for him," she said before Molly could further question her sons.

Suddenly Narcissa jumped at feeling a heavy hand on her arm. She turned to find Roger Goyle stood behind her with Gareth Crabbe, **stood close together sharing the same brain cell,** she gave him a superior look.

"Mrs Malfoy, our sons haven't arrived yet and we noticed young Draco hadn't either, is anything wrong?"

She noticed that they shot the Weasleys a very unpleasant look.

"No, everything's fine, I'm sure they're probably just really involved in a game of exploding snap or something. I was just about to go and find them," she said, brushing off her sleeve to indicate that they were not to touch her again. She smiled at Molly and climbed aboard the eerily quiet train. She called out to her son as she walked along it, eventually finding him with Crabbe and Goyle Jr.'s, **What are their names again?,** lying in a corridor clearly unconscious.

She was worried for a moment but then realised that they had probably been hexed by the Weasleys who she was sure wouldn't have done anything permanent or life threatening.

She sighed, "Enervate," then, noticing Crabbe had sprouted tentacles on his face, "Finite Incantem."

The three of them stared at her and she adopted the 'I am your mother stroke the supervising adult in this situation so what have you got to say for yourselves' pose.

"Potter and his cronies attacked us!"

**I don't believe it! I haven't seen my son in nine months and the first word out of his mouth is Potter.** Narcissa held back the urge to scream. "Why?"

"We just told them they'd picked the wrong side." Crabbe said stupidly.

"The wrong side of what?" Narcissa asked playing on her dumb blonde image, she knew exactly what.

"Against you-know-who," Goyle said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, of course it was, **but it shouldn't be.**

Draco had said nothing in all this and Narcissa looked at him praying that he'd say it wasn't true and that it had actually been some stupid fight about Quidditch or house points. His expression confirmed it, "You should have seen Potters face when we mentioned that Diggory idiot though!"

Narcissa wanted to cry, the floor felt like it had fallen from under her feet and the disgust she felt for her son was overpowering.

"Get up!" she snapped at them. They complied when they realised that her wand was still trained on them, she hadn't even noticed.

"Come along," she nodded towards Crabbe and Goyle, "I don't think we need to embarrass you by telling your parents what really happened, that you couldn't handle a couple of Gryffindors." They all walked out onto the platform where Crabbe and Goyle's parents came up and instantly began to ask what was the matter. "Nothing," Narcissa said, "It was just like I thought, they got caught up in a game of exploding snap and forgot about the time."

The Weasley twins gave her the oddest look and she smiled inwardly at them, **at least someone gives my son what he deserves!** She nodded at her son, "Come along Draco," she said, taking hold of his shoulder and guiding him off the platform.

*******

George Weasley nudged his twin, "Why did she just lie to them?"

"Dunno," Fred said equally puzzled, "Come to that since when do her and mum talk to each other?"

"Maybe she didn't want to admit her son got beaten by a bunch of Gryffindors, or maybe they didn't tell her what happened?"

"Nah, they were unconscious in a corridor they'd have to said something a bit more inventive than 'we were playing exploding snap'!"

"True. She seemed to remove those curses pretty easily, I thought that was quite difficult to do, she must be more powerful than people think."

"Yeah. Weird eh?"

"Definitely, then again she married Lucius Malfoy she's clearly either as evil as he is or stark raving mad. If it's the first then I don't think we really want to know why she did it and if it's the second then I guess she doesn't need a reason."

Fred shrugged, "True. Can you believe Harry gave us all that money?"

"No!"

They followed their mother and siblings at a distance, putting the incident with Malfoy to the back of their minds.

*******

The incident however was all Narcissa could think about but she waited until she and Draco were in the muggle part of the station before she said anything.

"So, how did this fight between you and Potter start?"

"We went to pay him an end of term visit in his carriage, apparently he didn't appreciate it," Draco smirked at her.

**I'd like to slap that smirk right off his arrogant little face!** "I wouldn't sound too cocky about it if I were you, you certainly seem to have come off worse in the following altercation," she pointed out.

"It wasn't fair, we didn't have any warning and we were outnumbered," he whined.

"It was hardly unprovoked though by the sound of things."

"We were right."

"In your opinion."

"Yours too."

**God, you think you know me don't you?** "As for warning and being outnumbered, have you never attacked someone when they were defenceless?" **Say that house elf we used to have for instance?!**

"That's not the point!"

"Really? Seems to be very much the point actually, you went in there with the purpose of upsetting someone who, by the sound of things, has been fairly close to the edge all year and yet you are somehow surprised when you end up unconscious on the floor. Well let that be a lesson to you, you say the wrong thing to the wrong person in this world and you can very quickly find your self staring down the wrong end of a wand and next time it might be something worse than a school boy hex that hits you."

"Mum, I just didn't expect him to do that he's supposed to be the brave and noble Gryffindor and all that crap!"

"Well remember that, people don't always play to their stereotypes, you underestimated him and do you really think that someone who has by some miracle continually got the better of the greatest Dark Lord in history would have a problem dealing with an arrogant fifteen year old?!" She was almost yelling now as they waited for a taxi and Draco shrank back, surprised as he had expected her to be sympathetic and berate the Weasleys for daring to hurt her son.

"Mum, he got the better of me it's no big deal!"

"Yes, actually it is. What happens when I'm not there to pick up the pieces? What happens when you piss off the wrong person? You have such an obnoxious mouth on you sometimes, you know that? Diggory was a pure blood, he wasn't killed because he did anything wrong he simply got in the way and I've never appreciated people speaking ill of the dead!" Narcissa knew she was pushing at the boundaries of what she could safely say; no doubt this would all get back to Lucius eventually.

"Hey, I didn't mean to upset you! What is your problem?!" he snapped.

"What's my problem?" Narcissa trailed off, **this is pointless, he's not even sorry he upset me.** "Does it matter?" she asked in a defeated tone, "Would you care if I told you?"

Draco's expression changed to one of concern, "Of course I would, are you alright?"

**Walked yourself into that one didn't you? What can you say to that?** "I'm fine, I just worry about you that's all. I won't always be there to pick up the pieces and I'd like to know you can take care of yourself and that if you can't you'll at least try to stay out of trouble."

"I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to upset you."

She sighed and got into the waiting taxi, giving directions to the Leaky Cauldron. They were silent for the journey there, Draco looking surprisingly uncomfortable and Narcissa fighting back tears she knew better than to shed.

They reached the pub and she tipped the driver, grateful that he hadn't tried to strike up a conversation with her. Draco looked at her with a hurt expression on his face and she wanted to take him into her arms and tell him she was sorry and that everything would be alright but she knew she couldn't, not if she wanted him to think about this.

"Why did you do it? You didn't need to, it didn't benefit you."

"He's so annoying, he gets everything! He's the star seeker, Dumbledore's favourite, and now Triwizard champion."

**All this for a stupid rivalry? Then again how much were the Gryffindors to blame for what happened to Sev? Who gave him and his friends the final push? Oh God this is so silly!** "So you think he has everything? He's got fame, talent and fortune yes but he's also got no family and a Dark Lord out for his blood. If I were you I wouldn't wish yourself in his shoes, the boy's unlikely to live to see his graduation." She adopted a calm, serious tone hoping she could shock her son into thinking straight for a moment.

Draco fell quiet at the comment about Potter not living to see graduation, **almost as if he hadn't thought about it until now, maybe he hadn't.**

"Do you really think he'll die before graduation?" he asked quietly.

"It wouldn't surprise me," she replied keeping her voice cold and emotionless.

"Oh."

He was quiet as they flooed home, Lucius hadn't yet returned and she turned to face her son, "Draco..." she stopped, she had no idea what else to say.

He looked at her expectantly.

"I love you." It was all she had left to offer him at that time, she was too emotional to reason with him or have a serious conversation which wouldn't end with her revealing her true loyalties to him.

He gave her an odd, thoughtful smile, "I know you do, I don't like it when we argue."

"We're just very different people."

"Professor Snape said I remind him of you, even more than I remind him of father."

**Oh, did he now? Good old Sev!** "Well, Severus is usually right I suppose."

"He's been acting a bit strange this year."

"He's probably got a lot on his mind. Why don't you go and unpack, your father'll probably be back soon."

He nodded and she left the room. She walked out into the garden and strolled down to the edge of a large ornamental pond, sitting on the grass and enjoying the sunshine. She looked up at the house, the house in which she had endured so much unhappiness but also the house where she had spent one of the happiest years of her life when she was newly married. **Why did it all have to end like this? Why did things turn out this way? How did it all come to this!?** She sighed and trailed her hand in the cool water, watching the ornamental Koi Carp dart away from the ripples her hand created. She knew she couldn't just sit there forever but she wanted to, she wanted to pretend that she wouldn't have to get up and go back into the house and face her husband, and her son, and her future.

*******

The part where Narcissa says muggles never have to deal with evil maniacs is just her opinion as she doesn't know much about muggle history.

I know I promised this update wouldn't be late and it is, though not by much, but I was unexpectedly dragged off to visit relatives!

Next chapter Sev's back!

I'll update again either Friday or Saturday.

Please review, I'm picking up my A-level exam results tomorrow and it would be nice to get some nice reviews as it's a very stressful time!