Disclaimer: Characters and situations owned by JMS, WB and various other corporate entities.
Timeline: Starts during s1's Parliament of Dreams and ends shortly after s5's Objects at Rest.
Thanks to: My kind beta Kathy, as ever.
I.
Vir first met Lennier when they were both standing in line for fresh fruit. While the governments which had contributed to the Babylon Project had all been alloted a guaranteed share of the precious gardening produce grown within the station per month, they were expected to pay for it like other customers. Moreover, it would not have occurred to Vir to simply march to the vendors and demand the goods. That would have been impolite, and besides, he was reasonably sure the first of G'Kar's aides, Ko'Dath, would have killed him if he tried.
The new Minbari aide, on the other hand, did not look like he had lethal intentions, and he, too, was content to wait in line instead of demanding to be served first, even though the Minbari had a very intimidating reputation. Vir remembered that Londo and he had been invited to the Minbari religious ceremony later that day, and since it was the first time he would attend such a thing, he forced himself to overcome his shyness and address the stranger.
„Excuse me," he said, „is there something I shouldn't be doing tonight?"
The young Minbari looked nonplussed.
„I would not presume…" he began, and only then did Vir realize he had expressed himself badly.
„At your ceremony, I mean", he clarified. „I - just, this assignment is the first off world for me, and my uncle said I shouldn't disgrace the Centauri Republic and House Cotto even though I likely would, but I really don't want to, because if I do I'm sure Londo will send me back, and it will be even worse, and – I just want to do everything right."
„That is a goal which not many of us can achieve", Delenn's new aide said in a gentle way and with a little smile that conveyed warmth. Vir felt somewhat less intimidated, and they got chatting. Lennier introduced himself by name, and they discovered that while they evidently had received very different lessons until now, one thing both religious caste Minbari and aristocratic Centauri training included were cooking lessons.
„So many ceremonies require the use of either liquids or nourishment", Lennier said.
„For us, it's the poisoning problem," Vir confessed. „About two centuries ago the Great Houses nearly wiped each other out by bribing each other's cooks. Since then, young members of a House are expected to do the cooking themselves and participate in the meals they have prepared."
He didn't add that they were also expected to familiarize themselves with the most common poisons, because while Vir was given to babbling when nervous, he did know which topics never to address with alien strangers.
„I see", Lennier said, though it didn't sound like he did. It occured to Vir that Lennier might be worried about participating in the Centauri ceremony, which would involve a great deal of Centauri prepared meals and drinks.
„That was centuries ago", he said hastily. „Also, Londo wouldn't – I mean, I don't think he would – I mean, he definitely wouldn't poison anyone on this station, and also, he's not cooking, I am, and I wouldn't, I swear! Though I might burn something, because there will be so many guests. I'm not a bad cook, it's just that it's usually just Londo and me, and now we have to host an entire banquet, and…"
„Have you considered hiring the services of one of the station restaurants?" Lennier asked, and that was how their first meeting ended in both of them trying to figure out which of the station based establishments was offering food which was compatible with Centauri, Minbari, human, Narn and Drazi physiology at the same time, which in turn somehow led to the decision to personally test not just the major restaurants but also the smaller vendors and bars, a different one once a week.
„Living is learning," Lennier said, „and this way, we will, I hope, have the chance to learn from all the races."
„Also, no one will have the chance to plan ahead on poisoning us because they don't know where we will be next week", Vir agreed.
II.
During the time Lennier kept watch over Delenn's cocoon, Vir decided to cook for him and bring little meals. He didn't stay long, not least because there was no time; after the destruction of the Narn outpost, Londo was suddenly getting noticed back home, with more and more messages arriving from Centauri Prime. Those quick trips to Delenn's quarters, bringing Lennier something to eat and drink, were the only times of peace and quiet Vir had during those most bewildering days. Lennier didn't say much, which was fine with Vir; they were quiet together.
Afterwards, when Delenn had emerged with a new physiology, Lennier sought Vir out to thank him, and to suggest resuming their weekly get togethers.
„There's even more to study," he said, „as Delenn herself is not sure yet what she will be able to stomach."
Vir forbade himself from mentioning that since Lennier himself kept a completely Minbari body, him trying out new things would be of no use to Delenn. He was too happy they would continue to meet, because as Londo kept accumulating secrets, and the Centauri who came to Babylon 5 started to notice Vir as well because they suddenly wanted to get into good standing with the Ambassador, that moment once a week where there was no pressure to either keep silent or talk was ever more precious.
They had decided that Brakiri sweets were something they both could enjoy by the time the war with the Narn started in earnest. At that point, though, Vir discovered that he could no longer eat something at one of the many street vendors without feeling or imagining a watching Narn somewhere, and without wondering whether that Narn had already lost people in the war, so he told Lennier he'd rather they just stuck with exploring new drinks. This was when he started to lose weight.
Vir wasn't with Londo on Centauri Prime when the news started to come through that the final bombardment of Narn had begun, and that the Centauri were using mass drivers; he was on the station, shopping again, and then there were eerie cries of pain and rage as the Narn who were in the Zoccalo began to hear about the bombardment. He would never forget those sounds in his life. One of the Narn saw him and cried out: „Centauri butcher!"
Vir stood frozen, unable to move. Station security had been on alert, but there were a dozen similar occurences all over Babylon 5, and so there would have been no guard to intercede in time had the Narn reached him. Which the Narn did not; Lennier stood there first.
„This is not the way to help your people," he said quietly.
„Of course a Minbari would side with the Centauri," the Narn seethed. „You'd know all about wiping out others, don't you?"
That was unfair, and Vir found he was able to move and talk again. After all, the Minbari had not wiped out the humans. They had stopped in time.
„I'm sorry," he said, because the Narn should be angry with him, not with Lennier, and yet knew how inadequate the words were. But what else was there to say? Londo, he thought, Londo, why? „I'm… I'll leave."
Lennier came with him, though, and remained with him even though the guards Mr. Garibaldi had sent arrived halfway to the Centauri ambassadorial suite. He didn't comment on the news from Narn. Instead, he said: „I have learned that the humans consume one of their delicacies in liquid form as well. Delenn has found it to be… most uplifting after her encounter with the Grey Council earlier this year, but then it turned out to have some side effects on her after all. Since neither she nor I can safely consume it, and since there is some left, you would do me a great favour, Vir, if you allowed me to prepare it for you. It is called hot chocolate."
It was all Vir could do not to hug him right then and there. He settled for trying out the chocolate.
III.
Vir's time as Centauri envoy to Minbar offered him the chance to finally do something about the guilt he was feeling. He didn't tell Lennier about his smuggling Narns into freedom; telling Lennier something like this would be the same as telling Delenn, and while Vir felt great respect for Delenn, he also thought her entirely capable of wielding such knowledge against the Centauri if it suited her purpose. Whatever others might think, there was a difference, a huge difference, between helping the Narn and betraying his people.
What he did tell Lennier was that he'd used his time on Minbar to learn more about Minbari cuisine, though, and also that he brought a new ceremonial cooking set as a gift, since the one Lennier had been using since his arrival on the station was bound to be getting worn out by now, what with Delenn requiring an increasing amount of ceremonies as she entered into a more intimate relationship with the Captain.
„The vendor said this is what Worker Caste Minbari use to prepare Flarn," Vir said, handing over his gifts, „and that works twice as quickly as the tools the Religious Caste use because the Workers have less time, while still maintaining the flavor of the Flarn."
Lennier looked only half convinced. Or maybe he looked somewhat sad. It could be all those ceremonial meals he had to prepare for Delenn and Sheridan. One thing Vir was eternally grateful for was that even before his falling out with Lord Refa, Londo had not required Vir to cook when Refa was visiting. Refa simply was not that kind of friend.
„Look", Vir said impulsively, „I know you can't drink brivari or any other alcohol, but I asked Dr. Franklin, and he said Minbari are fine with Drazi tea. It's also supposed to be soothing."
Lennier frowned. „I have to remain vigilant," he said. „Delenn has many enemies. One of them tried to kill her recently."
„Londo has even more enemies, and I was present the last time G'Kar tried to kill him", Vir returned. „It didn't do much good. I think being soothed now and then helps you with being vigilant at other times. Also, I can't drink all the tea I already bought on my own, and Londo says the only drinks he's willing to consume which contain dried plants are those where the plants had a chance to ferment first. So you see, if you don't share tea with me, I'll have to report the bought tea as a waste of state budget, and that will be bad for my career."
„In that case, I will be happy to share some tea with you, Vir", Lennier conceded.
It wasn't just any tea, it was tea that was supposed to help with sleeping problems, and going by the way Lennier started to doze off halfway through the second pot, it did its work. Vir was glad. Lennier had looked thoroughly exhausted. As for Vir's own sleep, ever since starting his smuggling operation, he found he finally could face his dreams again.
It wouldn't last, he was under no illusions that it would. But for now, it was soothing enough, Vir thought, and with the taste of tea herbs in his mouth, sat next to Lennier and fell asleep as well.
IV.
After the Shadow War and the civil wars both the Minbari and the humans had engaged in were over, there was a flood of new arrivals of people on the station who had either been made homeless by one of those wars, or had decided they did not want to resume their old lives again. As it turned out, two of them, a Worker Caste Minbari whose cookshop in Tuzanor had been blown to smithereens and a human who'd lived on one of the planets destroyed by the Vorlons, decided to open a restaurant together.
„For Minbari street food," the human said. „It just needs a catchy title, and good marketing. Which is why you're invited to our grand opening, Mr. Cotto!"
Vir would have said yes in any case, out of sheer curiosity, but as it happened the grand opening also was the day after the Day of the Dead, and so the perfect way for him and Lennier to have a goodbye meal before Lennier, who'd only come to the station for the Brakiri festival, returned to his Ranger training.
„Mcbari's?" Lennier said doubtfully. „It seems an odd name for a restaurant to me. Are those meant to be…"
„Golden headbones," Vir nodded. „Look, if we don't like it, we can always leave. But I haven't eaten any Minbari food since I was an envoy on Minbar, and I bet you don't get much of it in your Ranger training, either."
Lennier let himself be dragged along. He seemed very distracted by what he had experienced the previous night.
„Do you believe in prophecy, Vir?" he asked at last, while they were studying the very colorful symbols of the various food and drink items on sale at „McBari's".
Vir thought about Lady Morella, who had predicted he would one day become Emperor. He thought about what she had said would have to happen before.
„Prophecies don't always turn out the way you think they will," he replied at last. „I think they might be guesses that turn out to be true. And if they don't, they are metaphors."
„But I thought you Centauri dream of your deaths," Lennier said. Vir nodded, but didn't say anything. He didn't like to talk about his death dream. Not because it was a horrible one. He had no detailed memory of it when awake, but he did remember the sensation of being held by someone he loved, of warmth, and of feeling at peace. It was just that talking about death always seemed to bring it faster into being.
„I don't know what a prediction of betrayal would serve as a metaphor for," Lennier said, sounding hoarse and far too depressed. Vir decided to order for him, and selected Almara for himself and Klenn-Sha for Lennier.
„Me neither," he then said, „but I know there are some people who deserve to be betrayed because they betrayed others first. Like the humans' dead President. Or Emperor Cartagia."
He stopped himself. He hadn't meant to talk about Cartagia again, ever. Sometimes, he still woke up from dreams where the dead Emperor accused him of murder, or where Vir failed and Londo died instead, while Centauri Prime burned.
„…or that Warrior Caste leader you told me about", he continued hastily. „The one you said Delenn had been plotting with Neroon against to end your war."
„Shakiri," Lennier nodded, „yes." For a moment, he looked hopeful, but then he frowned. „She did not tell me," he said. „That she had conspired with Neroon. I thought he had betrayed her. It was… she did not tell me."
„Conspiracies are complicated", Vir said ruefully. „Especially if you need to get rid of someone in a high position. But that's my point. Sometimes you need to, to prevent something far worse from happening."
Lennier still looked doubtful, but a bit less gloomy, and when the meals arrived, he actually lit up at the sight and smell of Klenn-Sha, which as Vir had learned on Minbar was a traditional Worker Caste dinner made from spicy taalor tubes, beeba oil, jenn bulbs, Valeria fruit and a mixture of salt, herbs, spices, nuts, whipped cream and hard grated cheese. In fact, it smelled so good that Vir was eying it himself with some regret, though then his Almara was served, and it seemed he could almost taste the salt of the sea the fish of which this dish was made came from. Lennier must have spotted his torn look.
„Maybe we should share our meals", he offered.
Vir beamed. „Yes, we should."
He'd regret it in a few hours, he knew, because he remembered Valeria fruit always made him throw up, but watching Lennier's frown clear away and even something like joy return to his face, Vir decided this was worth it.
V.
One of the changes that Vir made as Centauri Ambassador was picking two aides to have, not one; it wasn't as if there was ever a lack of work, now more than ever, and besides, having two aides meant he would not be reminded of himself and Londo all the time.
He still did part of the shopping himself, though, partly because he'd always enjoyed doing it, and partly because after all that had happened, it was important to demonstrate to everyone on the station that the Centauri were still there. Some vendors made it a point not to serve him, but most, who had gotten to know him through the years, didn't treat him differently than before. Which was how Vir found himself standing in line for fresh fruit when a hooded figure behind him murmured his name.
It was Lennier's voice.
Vir had taken his leave of Lennier when Sheridan and Delenn had been preparing to leave the station, and he hadn't expected to see him back so soon – wasn't he supposed to go with them to Minbar? One look at Lennier's face told him something terrible must have happened. Incongruously, Vir found himself still holding on to his shopping bag when they had retreated to some place in Down Below to talk without any listeners. He kept clutching it as Lennier told him what had happened, first haltingly, then ever faster.
„Now you know my shame", Lennier ended. „If you no longer wish to speak to me, I would not blame you."
There was a great deal Vir could have said to this, starting with the fact that the person he cared most for in this universe, who was still Londo Mollari, had done so much that Lennier's single action appeared almost insignificant by comparison, and that he'd never stopped talking to Londo. But he knew better than to say this, for it was not insignificant to Lennier, nor to Sheridan or Delenn. He remembered all too well what deciding a man had to die felt like, and how he'd seen Cartagia's face everywhere afterwards despite knowing Centauri Prime was saved by his action, a comfort Lennier did not have.
Remembering the aftermath of Cartagia's death, though, made him remember Londo's words as well, and so Vir found himself saying: „Your heart is a good one, Lennier. Always was and still is. You would not feel the pain of it otherwise."
Lennier tried to turn away, but Vir was faster; he let go of his shopping bag and put his arms around the Minbari. Despite Lennier being taller and in far better physical shape, Vir found it surprisingly easy to hold on to him, as Lennier, for the first time since Vir had met him, was trembling like the string of a harp which had been plucked too often.
„I need to atone", Lennier said later, when he could speak again. „In actions, not just in words, Vir. That is why I have come to you."
„What you need first of all", Vir said firmly, „is some hot jaala. I don't think you ever had it in all the time we shared meals and drinks together."
Lennier looked confused. „Is this not a Centauri liquid designed to help with the aftereffects of alcoholic intoxication?"
Vir nodded. „That, too. But trust me, Londo liked it even when he hadn't been drunk. And he never was drunk when he, well, you know. Never then. The jaala still helped somewhat."
He tried not to think of Londo now, alone in the Royal Palace, because it would make him cry again, and he needed to focus on Lennier.
„I think it might not have been the beverage but your company that proved helpful to Ambassador – to Emperor Mollari, Vir", Lennier said, but he did allow himself to be taken to Vir's quarters, and he even started to drink the jaala before starting on about the need for active atonement again. Vir thought about how smuggling Narns away from their camps had made him feel a little less guilty about being Centauri and the sharer of Londo's secrets back in the day. Then he thought about his homeworld as he'd last seen it, the destruction, the reports still flooding in of all the people who'd died in the aftermath of the attack, and about the way help from the Alliance had been refused. For the first time since fire came down on Centauri Prime, the thought led not to grief but to inspiration.
„I have it," Vir said. „You say you can no longer be a member of the Rangers. Londo said we could no longer accept any help from the Alliance. But Great Maker, we do need help. Lennier, if you went to Centauri Prime now, as an outcast from the Alliance, you could do much good."
Lennier blinked. „But…" he said, and fell silent again. Vir could guess what his friend wanted to say.
„No, Delenn would not hear about it, and it would have nothing to do with her," he said. „Centauri Prime is probably the one place in the universe where neither Sheridan nor Delenn will be for the next, oh, twenty years at least! But this isn't about impressing them, right? That's not what atonement is, impressing someone with what you're doing. It's about doing something for its own sake."
Lennier's face changed. „Vir Cotto, you are wise, did I ever tell you that?"
„No, I'm not," Vir said. „I just learned a few things these past years. Now have some more jaala."
