It was raining and had been for the past 4 days. It came pelting down as though crying uncontrollable. Everyone was inside not wanting to get wet. One man though stood in the rain, in the middle of a large graveyard. He was staring at a newly dug grave not crying nor with any expression on his face. He could not cry, the weather was doing that for him. His black hair, which was usually messy and unruly, was flat on his head. He was wet and cold but he didn't notice. The man made no noise nor movement for a long time.
Finally, he spoke in no more than a whisper, "Were you ever proud? Did you ever once say, that's my son and I'm proud of him? Did you ever think about how much we are alike? What did I ever do for you to hate me? Was it the jokes? Did I not live up to your expectations of being an Auror at age 5? I always tried to live up to your name. I was good enough for everyone in the world but you. Why? Is it because of Remus? Is it because I was going to play Quidditch for England? Yes was, I'm joining the Order, I'm not becoming an Auror but I'm getting involved. Are you happy now? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?" He yelled out the last sentence and let out his frustration that had been building inside of him for a while. He looked around and bit his wet lip. "All I ever wanted to is live up to your name but I was never good enough. And I never will be." He knelt, kissed the muddy tombstone, "Say hello to Billy and Mom for me." He sighed and looked around, the large, old mansion was near and its lights were shimmering. The trees were in front of him and to the side and they were completely still. There was tall grass to his left but he didn't look at it. Too many memories.
He walked back to the Mansion surprised to find three people by the door waiting for them. One, a young woman was dressed in black robes while two older people behind her were dressed in Muggle clothes.
"Lily?" he asked unsure.
"Oh James, I'm so sorry about your father," she ran up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Thank you," he sad shocked. "How have you been? We haven't talked since the train ride."
"I know, I've missed you," she held him close. "I kept forgetting to sent you an owl. Oh my parents." She let go of him, took his hand, and led him back to where she had been standing and to where the other two people stood. "Martha and Paul Evans," she introduced. "Mother, Father this is James Potter."
"Nice to meet both of you," James kissed Mrs. Evan's hand and shook hands firmly with Mr. Evans.
"Its good to meet you James," Mr. Evans said. "Lily has told us so much about you."
"She mentioned you two all the time at school," James glanced at his classmate who had also been his girlfriend during the last two years at school.
"We are sorry for your loss," Mrs. Evans said in a motherly fashion.
"Thank you," James nodded.
"James you are soaking," Lily cried finally noticing.
"Its raining," he put a hand out and rain fell on it.
"What about warming and water repel charms?" She put her hands on her hips.
"I forgot," he shrugged. "It doesn't matter I was about to go in. Would you care to join me?"
"No it's alright. We better go, Sirius, Remus and Peter are waiting for you inside," Lily hugged him again. "I promise to owl you this time."
"I had a feeling they were," James nodded. "Thank you for coming." James shook their hands and went inside.
He took off his wet cloak and left it with a house elf at the door. He checked the dining room for his friends but they weren't there. He stood in the Entrance Hall wondering where they were when he heard a low chatter from the living room. He went in there to find his three good friends sitting around the fire with mugs of tea in their hands.
"James," one of the men, tall with black hair saw him and stood.
"Sirius," James walked over to his friend who was more like a brother to him.
"I thought you had drown in all this rain," he tried to joke but James was not in the mood to joke.
"Everyone gone?"
"Yes, Dumbledore left about 20 minutes ago," Sirius informed him. "He said he didn't want to disturb you but he would like to talk to you soon."
"Thank you," James wearily sat down.
"Remus, Peter," James closed his eyes tired from the long day.
"Quite a crowd," Remus said softly. He had brown hair, which was always neat and orderly.
"He was an important man," James told them his eyes still closed. "What time is it?"
"7:00pm," Sirius answered.
"Its early but I'm so tired," James opened his eyes and got up. "I will see you all in the morning."
"Not me! I have to leave," Peter, the smallest member of the group spoke.
"Fine then I will see you again," James went up to his bedroom without another word.
**
James sat on his bed for awhile thinking. He had a quill and piece of parchment next to him but he didn't pick them up. He stared at the wall, he was not his father, and he would never be him. He wanted to play Quidditch but he couldn't now. There was no way. He was the last Potter; he had to get involved. He closed his eyes; he had to write his letter. He had to give up his dreams; he was the last Potter. It was his responsibility. He hated responsibility. He picked up the parchment and quill.
Mr. Kent,
It is with my deepest regrets that I decline the position that was offered to me of Chaser for Team England. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I have other duties that I must see to.
James Potter
He rolled up the parchment and put it down. He would it sent later. Two months ago, his life had been turned upside down. What would he do to be able to go back to the time when life was easy and carefree? Back to the time when he was at Hogwarts making hell for the teachers? What would he do to not be the last Potter alive and to have his uncles and mother back? He got into bed tired from the day and fell asleep.
**
The next morning he got up and went downstairs. He was greeted by two house elves that asked him if he wanted breakfast. He agreed and followed them into the dining room where Remus sat reading the Daily Prophet.
"Good morning," James greeted with a yawn.
"Good morning," Remus replied back. "The Prophet has three pages on your father."
"Burn it when you are done reading it then," James scowled and sat down. He picked up the mug of tea, which had been placed in front of him by another house elf.
"He's your father," Remus raised an eyebrow at him.
"Don't remind me," James grumbled and changed the subject. "I have a question for you, if you could become a member of the Order of Phoenix would you do it?"
"In a second," Remus said seriously.
"So be it," James picked up his fork and knife and ate without another word to Remus. When he finished he got up and went towards the door. "I'll be in my office."
He walked up two flights of stairs to his office. It had been given to him by his father when he graduated Hogwarts. It was a large room; James had decorated it with Quidditch posters and pictures of his friends. He liked this room; it was very roomy and had a great view of the Quidditch Pitch that he and Billy, his uncle had spent hours in when he was little.
"Professor Albus Dumbledore," James threw some powder into the roaring fire by his desk and sat back in his chair.
He waited a few minutes for Dumbledore to appear. He played with a quill while he waited. "Good morning James," Dumbledore's face appeared in the fire.
"Sir."
"I am indeed sorry for your loss, I was going to speak with you yesterday but I did not want to disturb you in the graveyard. And then of course you were speaking with Miss Evans."
James had no answer for this. He sat up straight in his chair and spoke, "I will get right to the point sir, I want to join the Order of the Phoenix."
Dumbledore smiled, "Two months ago you would not have joined for all the gold in Gringotts, why now?"
"I am the last Potter now, I have to get involved. It is my duty as a Potter and a man," James said very seriously.
"Understandable," Dumbledore nodded who knew the ways and ideas of the Potter family. "Are you joining alone?"
"Remus wants to join," reported James.
"And Sirius? He would be a plus to the Order," Dumbledore commented.
"They all know who Sirius' parents are. They will kill him," James shook his head.
"Sirius has never done anything for me to think of him like his parents. If he wants to join, I will submit his name to Fawkes, for he is the judge."
"I'll ask him," James promised.
"I will owl you in a day or two with Fawkes' decision," Dumbledore's eyes twinkled and his head disappeared from the fire.
For awhile James paced his office thinking about Sirius and his talk with Dumbledore. He didn't want to talk to Sirius about this business with the Order; he knew what Sirius thought about it. He had to join and if he was going to he wanted his friends with him but Sirius' parents. They would not accept him. They would never accept Remus if they ever knew he was a werewolf.
He heard noises from the floor above him and knew that Sirius was up. He looked at the clock, it was ten in the morning, and Sirius was up early today. James left the room and walked to the Entrance Hall. There on the stairs was sleepy eyed Sirius. He was yawning loudly.
"Good morning Sirius," James greeted him.
"Speak for yourself," Sirius grumbled as they reached the bottom of the stairs.
"Come have breakfast," James told him hoping that Remus was still reading.
In the dining room, Remus now had a book about the Dark Arts in front of him. He looked up when they entered, "Sirius, the sun is out and you are up? A miracle!" He greeted his friend.
"I have a matter to discuss with both of you," James sat down and motioned for Sirius to do the same. A house elf came in with breakfast for Sirius. James looked at his friends. "I'm joining the Order of the Phoenix."
"Me too." Remus nodded at James.
"And you Sirius?"
"The Order? Me join the Order?" Sirius choked on his eggs. He coughed and shook his head. "No way."
"You aren't like your parents," argued James.
"They won't understand, they will kill me!" said Sirius.
"Sirius, Dumbledore was the one who mentioned it! He asked me to ask you to join. We will be a team!"
"The name Black is too deep in the Dark Arts. I won't be accepted," Sirius continued to shake his head.
"You aren't like the rest of your family, you are a Gryffindor," Remus told him.
"I don't know James," Sirius looked at Remus and back at James. "I thought we were going to stay out of this mess."
"I can't anymore," said James. "I'm the last Potter."
"So what?" Sirius shrugged.
"It is my duty as a Potter to join the fight," James told him.
"What about Quidditch?" Sirius pointed out. "You were the best at school, you could be famous!"
"Quidditch no longer matters! We are in a war and I need to fight. Join us Sirius, we are much better as a team!"
Sirius stared at James. He didn't speak or take his eyes off his friend for a full minute. He wanted to fight, he wanted to kill Voldemort and all his followers but would they understand? Would they try to curse him whenever they saw him? A smile formed on Sirius's face. He shouldn't be afraid of them, he wasn't afraid of them. "I'm in."
James smiled, "We are going to kick Voldemort's ass!"
Finally, he spoke in no more than a whisper, "Were you ever proud? Did you ever once say, that's my son and I'm proud of him? Did you ever think about how much we are alike? What did I ever do for you to hate me? Was it the jokes? Did I not live up to your expectations of being an Auror at age 5? I always tried to live up to your name. I was good enough for everyone in the world but you. Why? Is it because of Remus? Is it because I was going to play Quidditch for England? Yes was, I'm joining the Order, I'm not becoming an Auror but I'm getting involved. Are you happy now? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?" He yelled out the last sentence and let out his frustration that had been building inside of him for a while. He looked around and bit his wet lip. "All I ever wanted to is live up to your name but I was never good enough. And I never will be." He knelt, kissed the muddy tombstone, "Say hello to Billy and Mom for me." He sighed and looked around, the large, old mansion was near and its lights were shimmering. The trees were in front of him and to the side and they were completely still. There was tall grass to his left but he didn't look at it. Too many memories.
He walked back to the Mansion surprised to find three people by the door waiting for them. One, a young woman was dressed in black robes while two older people behind her were dressed in Muggle clothes.
"Lily?" he asked unsure.
"Oh James, I'm so sorry about your father," she ran up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Thank you," he sad shocked. "How have you been? We haven't talked since the train ride."
"I know, I've missed you," she held him close. "I kept forgetting to sent you an owl. Oh my parents." She let go of him, took his hand, and led him back to where she had been standing and to where the other two people stood. "Martha and Paul Evans," she introduced. "Mother, Father this is James Potter."
"Nice to meet both of you," James kissed Mrs. Evan's hand and shook hands firmly with Mr. Evans.
"Its good to meet you James," Mr. Evans said. "Lily has told us so much about you."
"She mentioned you two all the time at school," James glanced at his classmate who had also been his girlfriend during the last two years at school.
"We are sorry for your loss," Mrs. Evans said in a motherly fashion.
"Thank you," James nodded.
"James you are soaking," Lily cried finally noticing.
"Its raining," he put a hand out and rain fell on it.
"What about warming and water repel charms?" She put her hands on her hips.
"I forgot," he shrugged. "It doesn't matter I was about to go in. Would you care to join me?"
"No it's alright. We better go, Sirius, Remus and Peter are waiting for you inside," Lily hugged him again. "I promise to owl you this time."
"I had a feeling they were," James nodded. "Thank you for coming." James shook their hands and went inside.
He took off his wet cloak and left it with a house elf at the door. He checked the dining room for his friends but they weren't there. He stood in the Entrance Hall wondering where they were when he heard a low chatter from the living room. He went in there to find his three good friends sitting around the fire with mugs of tea in their hands.
"James," one of the men, tall with black hair saw him and stood.
"Sirius," James walked over to his friend who was more like a brother to him.
"I thought you had drown in all this rain," he tried to joke but James was not in the mood to joke.
"Everyone gone?"
"Yes, Dumbledore left about 20 minutes ago," Sirius informed him. "He said he didn't want to disturb you but he would like to talk to you soon."
"Thank you," James wearily sat down.
"Remus, Peter," James closed his eyes tired from the long day.
"Quite a crowd," Remus said softly. He had brown hair, which was always neat and orderly.
"He was an important man," James told them his eyes still closed. "What time is it?"
"7:00pm," Sirius answered.
"Its early but I'm so tired," James opened his eyes and got up. "I will see you all in the morning."
"Not me! I have to leave," Peter, the smallest member of the group spoke.
"Fine then I will see you again," James went up to his bedroom without another word.
**
James sat on his bed for awhile thinking. He had a quill and piece of parchment next to him but he didn't pick them up. He stared at the wall, he was not his father, and he would never be him. He wanted to play Quidditch but he couldn't now. There was no way. He was the last Potter; he had to get involved. He closed his eyes; he had to write his letter. He had to give up his dreams; he was the last Potter. It was his responsibility. He hated responsibility. He picked up the parchment and quill.
Mr. Kent,
It is with my deepest regrets that I decline the position that was offered to me of Chaser for Team England. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I have other duties that I must see to.
James Potter
He rolled up the parchment and put it down. He would it sent later. Two months ago, his life had been turned upside down. What would he do to be able to go back to the time when life was easy and carefree? Back to the time when he was at Hogwarts making hell for the teachers? What would he do to not be the last Potter alive and to have his uncles and mother back? He got into bed tired from the day and fell asleep.
**
The next morning he got up and went downstairs. He was greeted by two house elves that asked him if he wanted breakfast. He agreed and followed them into the dining room where Remus sat reading the Daily Prophet.
"Good morning," James greeted with a yawn.
"Good morning," Remus replied back. "The Prophet has three pages on your father."
"Burn it when you are done reading it then," James scowled and sat down. He picked up the mug of tea, which had been placed in front of him by another house elf.
"He's your father," Remus raised an eyebrow at him.
"Don't remind me," James grumbled and changed the subject. "I have a question for you, if you could become a member of the Order of Phoenix would you do it?"
"In a second," Remus said seriously.
"So be it," James picked up his fork and knife and ate without another word to Remus. When he finished he got up and went towards the door. "I'll be in my office."
He walked up two flights of stairs to his office. It had been given to him by his father when he graduated Hogwarts. It was a large room; James had decorated it with Quidditch posters and pictures of his friends. He liked this room; it was very roomy and had a great view of the Quidditch Pitch that he and Billy, his uncle had spent hours in when he was little.
"Professor Albus Dumbledore," James threw some powder into the roaring fire by his desk and sat back in his chair.
He waited a few minutes for Dumbledore to appear. He played with a quill while he waited. "Good morning James," Dumbledore's face appeared in the fire.
"Sir."
"I am indeed sorry for your loss, I was going to speak with you yesterday but I did not want to disturb you in the graveyard. And then of course you were speaking with Miss Evans."
James had no answer for this. He sat up straight in his chair and spoke, "I will get right to the point sir, I want to join the Order of the Phoenix."
Dumbledore smiled, "Two months ago you would not have joined for all the gold in Gringotts, why now?"
"I am the last Potter now, I have to get involved. It is my duty as a Potter and a man," James said very seriously.
"Understandable," Dumbledore nodded who knew the ways and ideas of the Potter family. "Are you joining alone?"
"Remus wants to join," reported James.
"And Sirius? He would be a plus to the Order," Dumbledore commented.
"They all know who Sirius' parents are. They will kill him," James shook his head.
"Sirius has never done anything for me to think of him like his parents. If he wants to join, I will submit his name to Fawkes, for he is the judge."
"I'll ask him," James promised.
"I will owl you in a day or two with Fawkes' decision," Dumbledore's eyes twinkled and his head disappeared from the fire.
For awhile James paced his office thinking about Sirius and his talk with Dumbledore. He didn't want to talk to Sirius about this business with the Order; he knew what Sirius thought about it. He had to join and if he was going to he wanted his friends with him but Sirius' parents. They would not accept him. They would never accept Remus if they ever knew he was a werewolf.
He heard noises from the floor above him and knew that Sirius was up. He looked at the clock, it was ten in the morning, and Sirius was up early today. James left the room and walked to the Entrance Hall. There on the stairs was sleepy eyed Sirius. He was yawning loudly.
"Good morning Sirius," James greeted him.
"Speak for yourself," Sirius grumbled as they reached the bottom of the stairs.
"Come have breakfast," James told him hoping that Remus was still reading.
In the dining room, Remus now had a book about the Dark Arts in front of him. He looked up when they entered, "Sirius, the sun is out and you are up? A miracle!" He greeted his friend.
"I have a matter to discuss with both of you," James sat down and motioned for Sirius to do the same. A house elf came in with breakfast for Sirius. James looked at his friends. "I'm joining the Order of the Phoenix."
"Me too." Remus nodded at James.
"And you Sirius?"
"The Order? Me join the Order?" Sirius choked on his eggs. He coughed and shook his head. "No way."
"You aren't like your parents," argued James.
"They won't understand, they will kill me!" said Sirius.
"Sirius, Dumbledore was the one who mentioned it! He asked me to ask you to join. We will be a team!"
"The name Black is too deep in the Dark Arts. I won't be accepted," Sirius continued to shake his head.
"You aren't like the rest of your family, you are a Gryffindor," Remus told him.
"I don't know James," Sirius looked at Remus and back at James. "I thought we were going to stay out of this mess."
"I can't anymore," said James. "I'm the last Potter."
"So what?" Sirius shrugged.
"It is my duty as a Potter to join the fight," James told him.
"What about Quidditch?" Sirius pointed out. "You were the best at school, you could be famous!"
"Quidditch no longer matters! We are in a war and I need to fight. Join us Sirius, we are much better as a team!"
Sirius stared at James. He didn't speak or take his eyes off his friend for a full minute. He wanted to fight, he wanted to kill Voldemort and all his followers but would they understand? Would they try to curse him whenever they saw him? A smile formed on Sirius's face. He shouldn't be afraid of them, he wasn't afraid of them. "I'm in."
James smiled, "We are going to kick Voldemort's ass!"
