Author's Note: Okay so I don't know when babies start doing things, like walking and talking. But for the purpose of this story, Harry is very smart... I'm 17 years old, I don't care about these things yet. So I know he's not even a year but guess what, he's talking. As Sirius as said, "he's very smart." Anyway, and I hope that you like how the characters are going, cause in the books the Marauders always seem invincible, like they never show emotions. So I'm thinking after awhile you gotta me effected by what's happening so that is what happens in this chapter. I hope you like it, please R/R. I don't own Harry Potter, J. K. Rowling does! Thank you so much for reading.

**

With Christmas past things went back to normal. Disappearances, attacks, and people being tortured with apart of the daily routine. Voldemort and his Death Eaters had not acted during Christmas and he seemed to be making up for it now.

"Can you shut it?" Sirius yelled into the other room. "I can't think with all the noise."

Remus and James had been playing with Harry on the floor in the living room. They had all been laughing and yelling. James got up and went into the library where Sirius was.

"Anything wrong Padfoot?" he asked concerned.

"It's too damn noisy," Sirius snapped.

"Considering you are usually the one making the noise, that's a fine statement coming from you," James snapped back.

"Hey you two," Remus got up and came forward. "Cut it out."

"Stay out of it Remus!"

Lack of sleep and the attacks was having its effects on the Marauders. Dinner had been a quiet event recently and the house was missing its usual ease.

"Look, James and I will be quiet," Remus worked out a compromise. "You two stop snapping at each other."

They were fumbling in the dark. Voldemort was destroying everything and anyone, and no one had a clue where he was going to strike next. Five Order members had been killed in the past week. The pressure was building, and everyone was feeling it. Sleep was a big problem, if they weren't woken up in the middle of the night, all the Marauders were dreaming of the horrors they had seen.

In the Order, things weren't going well either, fights broke out every meeting over the simplest things. Molly Weasley who was a few years older than the Marauders had almost slapped Moody for something unimportant. She would have if Arthur, her husband didn't hold her back. For a while the Marauders had been the peacemakers in the group but the stress was even getting to them. Sometimes James felt like he was being strangled in all of it.

James and Sirius were still not speaking when an attack came. It was the night of the full moon and they had been down with Remus in the basement. They might not be talking to each other but they still went downstairs to be with Remus. Lily had come to the stairs and called for James. She had to run though when Remus caught her scent and tried to get to her. While Padfoot held Moony down, James went to go talk to Lily.

Sirius and James left to go to the attack, it would be suspicious if they didn't. Lily stayed behind, Harry might need her and she didn't want to leave Remus all by himself. Without exchanging any words they disapparated to the village. They set off together, each mad at the other.

In an usual attack there were about 25 Death Eaters, but as they looked around, there seemed to be more. They were at a Muggle village this time.

"STUPEFY!"

Sirius and James hit the ground as the curse went over their heads. They looked up to see who had sent the curse. A man was walking toward them, swaying slightly and twitching. Sirius pointed his wand at him, "Stupefy!" The man fell over.

Sirius and James got up and went over to him. He didn't move like a normal Death Eater. James unmasked him. "Thomas!" James spoke looking at the face.

It was Thomas Gerrard, a Gryffindor who had graduated with them. He had never been a Marauder but he was good friends with them. He was a good, decent guy who joined the Aurors upon graduation.

"I don't believe it," James said stubbornly. He took out his wand and pointed it at Thomas, "Enervate." He woke up, and James pointed his wand at him again, "Finite Incantatem."

"Thomas?" Sirius asked.

"Go away . . . you can't . . . go away . . . I won't. Stop . . . no," He mumbled to himself.

"Thomas can you hear me?" asked James.

"Avada Kedavra!" The Marauder lay on the ground. They didn't know where the curse was headed.

"Lets get him somewhere safe," Sirius muttered. They helped him up. He swayed and fell on James. They supported him. While James held the majority of his weight, Sirius was the look out. They quickly made their way to the safe house that was always set up by the medwizards. They left him there promising to see him again.

Back outside in the street they didn't speak. They went about helping people and dueling Death Eaters. Every time they took down a Death Eater they made sure it wasn't someone under the Imperious.

"HELP!" they heard a woman's voice about 15 minutes later after they left Thomas. There was another scream.

"Sounds like Arabella," Sirius muttered more to himself than James.

"There!" James pointed down the street. They ran.

They found Arabella Figg on the ground with a 4-year-old girl in front of her. To the Marauders horror the little girl had a knife in her hand and was making her way toward Arabella. Arabella wasn't moving and they suspected she was under the Full Body Bind spell.

"Accio!"

"Finite Incantatem!" They took the Imperius off the little girl.

James ran over to the girl and grabbed her before she fell to the ground. He looked up at Sirius and Arabella.

"A bastard of a Death Eater snuck up on me as I was dueling, enabled me to move and then set the little girl on me. He went away laughing," Arabella reported to them.

They heard a crying sound and James looked down. The little girl was crying and she snuggled close to James. He pitied her and thinking of Harry he held her close to him. He felt sick, who could curse a little precious angel like this. She was an innocent victim in this war, and she didn't even know what war was. He pushed back her blond hair out of her eyes. He frown as he looked at her, he lit his wand with a simple, "Lumos." The girl was a mess, and she had a black eye, and a large red mark on her cheek. Her arms were covered in bruises. James felt a tear coming down his face, always the innocents who get hit first. He brought the girl in closer to him, as though trying to shield her from the world.

**

They got home a few hours later. James had insisted on finding her parents and they walked around and checked every house asking if they knew who she was or if they were missing a daughter. They found her mother in the safe house being treated for after effects of the Cruciatus Curse. Her father was there too, just to be with his wife. He had a simple sleeping charm put on him and when he woke he screamed for his daughter and wife.

They left the girl with her mother who was in tears, and she was so happy to see her again. No words were exchanged when James handed her over. He didn't think he could talk, he was disgusted at what happened that night.

They stopped to see Thomas before he was portkeyed to St. Mungo's to make sure there was no lasting efforts of the curse. He thanked them and shook their hands. Upon arriving home James showered and went to see Remus with Sirius. The sun had risen by now and they found him asleep back in his human form. They brought him up to bed and then James made his way to his room. He found Lily holding Harry and singing to him. He stood in the doorway watching them.

When Lily put Harry back into his crib James walked up to her and put his arms around her. He guided her back to the bed and he sank down on it. He looked at Lily, and his eyes were filled with terror and sadness. He shook a little thinking about the little girl and Thomas.

"What happened James?" Lily put a hand on his face.

James tried to speak but he couldn't, he felt like he was going to throw up if he opened his mouth.

Slowly he fell back on the bed and Lily followed.

"James what happened?" she asked again.

"I can't . . . I can't do this any longer," He spoke down in a whisper. He closed his eyes.

Lily took off his glasses and pushed him up on the bed and onto the pillows. She took off his boots and covered him in a sheet. She went back on the bed and laid next to him, "Shhh, it's over now." She said comfortingly. She kissed his cheek.

James seemed to have fallen asleep in about five minutes. Lily got up, checked on Harry and made to leave the room.

"Lily?" she heard James' voice. "Don't leave me," he asked sounding like a little boy and not the 20-year-old man he was.

Lily looked at me in the bed, and he looked so naive, so vulnerable. She nodded and went back to the bed. She laid down next to him and moved close to him. He put an arm around her and a few minutes later, and she heard a sobbing noise. Lily still not sure what happened bit her lip. She wasn't sure she wanted to know. It was unreal, this world they lived in. James slept until mid afternoon and Lily didn't leave his side.

After lunch, Sirius knocked on the door and he entered. He looked toward the bed to see James still sleeping and Lily next to him. He wondered how they could not have been talking over such a small, silly matter. Such stupid matters, he couldn't let them get in the way, not while his brothers needed him.

Lily looked up when Sirius entered and she got up from the bed, James didn't wake. They went outside the room and Lily asked him at once what happened.

Sirius sighed, "Death Eaters have been taking their captives, putting the Imperius on them and making them do the dirty work. You remember Thomas Gerrard? We found him with the Imperius on him. But then we found a little girl, about four years old with the curse on her. She was about to attack Arabella. You know James, he thinks of you and Harry first. He was disturbed by it, and he has too big a heart. How is he?"

Lily sighed, she didn't want to tell him how James had acted but then they were like brothers, "He basically had a breakdown. He cried himself to sleep."

"He's been so strong," Sirius put a hand through his hair. "So strong, I guess this was the last straw for him. Come on, let's go in."

They found James stirring. Sirius made his way to the bed. "It's okay James, it's all over Prongs. You're not alone."

James looked at him, his eyes were red and still looked troubled, "I'm sorry."

"Me too Prongs, it's over though."

"I kept seeing her," he told him.

"The dreams will pass, she's safe," said Sirius.

At that moment Harry woke up. He started to cry. Lily got up and picked him up. She brought him over to the bed and put him between them. James put an arm under his head.

"I would do anything to keep you out of harm's way," James spoke to Harry. "I'd do anything to have you live in a world without death and suffering."

In response to this Harry crawled closer to him. Sirius smiled and looked at Harry.

"Pa," Harry said moving even closer.

"He spoke!" Sirius cheered.

James smiled for the first time in awhile, "You spoke!"

"He said Pa for Padfoot, I know it," Sirius laughed.

"He did not, he was calling to me," James looked back at Harry. "Talk again."

"Go Harry!" Sirius laughed again.

"Pa! Pa!" Harry clapped his small hands together.

Lily smiled, if there was anything that would cure James it was Harry. She knew his reaction to the attack was over, and though he might dream of it for months to come . . . it was over. He would be strong again, and he would over come what he saw. That was life that was war, you have a breakdown and you get right back up. He would be strong if it killed him, he would be strong for Harry.