Title: Promises Unkept

Rating: R

Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Angst

Pairing: Heh, heh, heh, my little secret until chapter two!

Disclaimer: I don't own shit so please don't sue. The song, Try Honesty (Billy Talent) obviously isn't mine, so don't say I said it was!

AN: I thought it would be neat to have a suicidal Max and a certain someone of whom you shall meet later get together! Please, no one hate me until the next chapter, I swear it will be MUCH better than this hunk-o-crap of a first chapter!

Problems Solved, If Only...

Lifeless cerulean eyes stared over the vast stretch of cityscape below the high-rise hotel. Light tuffs of silky blond hair blew across the emotionless face as a battle raged inside the American boy. Max Tate sat perfectly still on the balcony railing, his mind racing with answerless questions.

Why can't everything be perfect? He thought, tears springing to his eyes. Lately he became concerned with minute things, things which never really mattered to him before. Old scars began to re-open, memories began to swim in his mind, relaying images of a past rather forgotten. A past no one knew about. The cold night air nipped at his skin, biting him harshly and changing it to a blemished red.

~Well I tripped, I fell down naked
I scratched my knees, they bled
Sew up my eyes, need no more
In our game there is no score
~

I can't make everyone happy…I wish I could remember how to…He sniffed aloud, letting the tears fall, leaving frosty trails rivering down his cheeks. Why? Why can't I be perfect for all of them? If only they knew!

Max had so many things he wanted to know. He knew it wasn't very big a deal, at least not to the others. He couldn't tell his friends what he was feeling, not now. It had become too much of a habit not to tell how he really felt about things. Only to go along with the mood and worry when Rei or Tyson worried, laugh when cheerfulness was at a loss. He was the someone to make things better again, but there was never anyone to make anything better for him. No one ever bothered to ask how he felt in the morning.

~Forgive me father, why should you bother?
Try honesty, Try honestly
Hop in your dump truck, reverse for good luck
Right over me, Right over me
~

Horrible, I can't go on like this, is what he knows he would try and answer, of course he never does. They never needed to ask, they always assumed he was doing fine. That he felt okay every single day and that nothing could dampen his spirits unless something happened to one of his closer friends.

He had been with the BladeBreakers for two and a half years, only traveling with his teammates on exhibition matches or to promote new Beyblade models. They had finally made it to the match in Germany before heading to India, where the World Championships were being held that year, to hold their title. Rei and Kai were rooming together as usual and Kenny slept alone with Dizzy, constantly trying to make installments to the Beyblades or fixing things up and creating new strategies.

He stayed with Tyson. Of course, the other boy wasn't around. He and Kai had an un-finished battle to attend to. Everyone else was there, everyone except him.

Max was afraid suddenly. Afraid he'd blow over and fall with broken wings to the ground below. But then again, that seemed breathtakingly wonderful. He played with the idea, caressing it in a cradle of jumbled thoughts now silenced by that one decision. No, it was too easy.

~Take on the whole world, fight with the young girls
Die tragedy, Die tragedy
Call me a cheapskate, come on for Pete's sake
Cry Agony, Cry agony~

Sighing heavily, the blond swung his legs over the side of the railing and hopped back onto the surface of the balcony, sliding the glass doors open before making his way solemnly into the room. The heat was a blessing to his numb skin, prickles of life soon touching him everywhere on whatever was left exposed when he sat outside.

He made his way slowly over to the bathroom, removing his clothing as he went.

It had been so long since he could truly smile to his friends. Ever since the American Championships he had grown a little more distant with each passing day. Max knew that Kai had noticed his change in personality. Kai always knew these sorts of things, he wasn't dumb. His rough exterior only added to his charm and Max found that Kai was just like him, lost.

~I'm insane, it's your fault, so sly
Your well of lies ran dry
And i cut the cord, free fall
From so high we seem so small'

Forgive me father, why should you bother?
Try honesty, Try honestly~

It had been the American Tournaments which had changed his life forever. It had been his mother who had made the decision for him. She ended his life before he had a chance to begin it. She enjoyed doing that, ignoring him and then cornering him when he was vulnerable. He never thought his mother could be so isolated and then when he battled, she told him she was proud when Tyson had been there with him...But things change quickly.

That night his mother had told him how she truly felt. She reminded him time and time again that she told him not to blade for the sake of her team. She wanted to win and now she had been embarrassed before her own home-country and before the head of the BBA. Judy Tate wasn't pleased in the least.

He still felt the sharp tingle in his cheeks from the times she had smacked him, he could still feel the warm breath on his face from her screams and yells of displeasure. She hated him. That's why he went to live with his father. It made sense, but naturally kind-hearted and delicate Max was always one to forgive mistakes. He forgave his mother, always. Every time she lay a beating on him, he told himself it was for his own good; that he needed it. Whenever she yelled at him and cried out curses and insults, trying to crush him from the inside before out. Usually that tactic worked, he would find himself in front of the mirror, questioning his own abilities, his looks...everything that mattered to him she said was a lie...everything including friends, including Tyson and Rei and Kenny. A lie.

~Hop in your dump truck, reverse for good luck
Right over me, Right over me
Take on the whole world, fight with the young girls
Die tragedy, Die tragedy
Call me a cheapskate, come on for Pete's sake
Cry Agony, Cry Agony~

That's when she would strike, battering him more, physically injuring him and laughing erotically at the way he bruised a deep purple or blue the following day. She relished in his pain, tasting his blood and tears as she forced him to the ground, hurting him more than anyone ever could. No mother should do what Judy did to their child. It was sick and Max understood this but he let everything happen the way she wanted it to, he gave up on fighting a long time ago, before the first time...before he even knew she despised his very well-being. Still, he was never ready for her and it pained him mentally and physically each and every passing moment he spent with her alone.

The spray of the water beat gently on his skin, pinkish scars remaining from the memories which couldn't ever die alone. The water began to burn but Max ignored it, his eyes focused on the small shaving razor someone, most probably Kai, had left in the shower. Rei had been complaining that their shower had no hot water and so Tyson and Max allowed the two eldest team members to use their shower whenever they felt the need.

~I talk to you

I'm insane, it's your fault
Try
I'm insane, it's your fault
Cry
I'm insane, it's your fault
Cry

Forgive me father, why should you bother now?
Forgive me father, why should you bother now?~

The cerulean eyed boy lifted the metal blade to his face, inspecting it thoroughly before more questions raced through his mind. Too many questions...

Perfect…You can't be perfect anyway, so why not let it all go?

I won't cut deep, Max promised, bringing the razor to the pulsing blue vein on his left wrist. More whitish scars could be seen fairly below his inner thighs as well as his lower arms and stomach. He had tried so many times to be rid of the stress, to just fly away with new wings...But he wasn't brave like Tyson or uncaring like Kai, he did care to some small extent. It was those people who stopped him from doing anything too dangerous. It was their faces, their voices, everything about them stopped him when he needed it most.

~Forgive me father, why should you bother?
Try honesty, Try honestly
Hop in your dump truck, reverse for good luck
Right over me, Right over me
Take on the whole world, fight with the young girls
Die tragedy, Die Tragedy
Call me a cheapskate, come on for Pete's sake
Cry Agony, Cry Agony~

A soft knock could be heard at the door but it went unnoticed.

Max pressed the sharp metal down into his pale skin, watching it break easily. A sharp pain thrust through him and he pressed his eyes closed until an exotic pleasure overtook him. Again, his mind screeched, begging for more of the delicious pain.

Opening his eyes Max could see the thin line of crimson trailing down his arm, quickly being washed away by the running water.

"Hey, Maxie, are you in there?" A smooth voice said in long caressing tones, lulling Max's mind into a state of unconsciousness. The door clicked open and the lithe figure moved in, waving a hand through the steamy air. Max could hardly think now and his vision was blurring, he couldn't understand why. With all the times he had done that he thought he should be used to it by then.

"Max!" The figure cried, catching the blond as he fell over the side of the bathtub, unable to grab the shower curtain in time. The male bent over the unconscious figure beneath him, cradling the boy in his arms when he noticed the blonde's slowly swelling wrist. The blood was coming fast and he needed help soon.

"Max? Please, oh God don't let this happen!" The figure cried, nuzzling his face in the American's neck.

~Cry Agony, Cry Agony
Try Honesty, Try Honestly
Cry Agony, Cry Agony~

Max could hear the sound of the other boy's voice carried into his thoughts as he slowly surfaced back into reality.

I never wanted to disappoint anyone…

-*-

Okie-dokie, chapter one finished and if you want I'll have chapter two up as soon as possible! But I need reviews people, not just one or two little things saying 'nice' or 'continue'. I need more than that! PLEASE!? *Puppy dog eyes* Anywho, this would be my first-ever chapter-y thing so tell what you want and when you want it, okay? Good.