Through the 'Rubber-Ass'

A/N: Born of the thought what would happen if my friends and I were some how transported in to the "Harry Potter" world. Not exactly Mary Sue but is self-insertion and that's different right? Give it a chance in any case!

Disclaimer: I do not own the concept, the books, the movies or the franchise/merchandise of "Harry Potter and co." There is no profit being made from this fic save the entertainment value to my friends, myself and hopefully you the readers!

Prologue

In a grassy clearing five girls sat in a circle chanting softly. A soft gentle breeze swirled around them carrying a few dry leaves. Around the girls there were several shiny black stones positioned in the outline of a pentagram. Each girl sat in a separate section with a different object in front of her.

In the first section a tiny little Asian girl sat with three sticks of lavender incense that filled the entire grove with it's heady scent. Her eyes were closed dark delicate eyelashes rested on smooth caramel coloured cheeks. Her short black hair was ruffled slightly from the wind and she tucked a bit behind her ear with one tiny hand. She opened her dark eyes and they were glowing an eerie yellow.

Next to her an athletic looking girl, also Asian, murmured and a small wreath of brightly coloured red and orange flowers floated before her. The wreath of flowers twirled wildly in the air darting every which way. Separating slowly they brushed against her face and teased strands of her dark silky hair before drifting softly away with the wind.

In the third section a small girl with milky pale complexion and luminescent blue eyes whispered gently into the bowl of water before her. The surface rippled before it solidified and rose from the bowl. The solitary stream of crystal clear water danced around her, making her bright copper hair fly wildly in the air then returned to the bowl from whence it came.

Dark hair with wild green tips framed the face of another petite Asian girl. Reflected in her black eyes were flickering green flames, contained by an earthen bowl and fuelled by Black Magic. Face blank, the girl took a delicate athame with a wicked looking blade and carved a symbol into her wrist. The crimson blood ran down her arm and dripped in to the bowl in front of her.

The last Asian girl, tall slim and pretty, stood up holding a wand aloft in the air. It was wrapped in brightly coloured threads and had a quartz crystal set in each end. She twirled it expertly around her body and a pure white aura pulsed around her. Shaking dark hair from dark eyes she stilled suddenly and there was absolute silence, even the wind had abated.

"Well that went well…nothing happened. Are you sure you did that right Janette?" The second girl spoke up.

"Shut up Nenita!" Replied Janette still standing with the wand in hand.

"Well she has a point you know…" Green tips retorted in Nenita's defence.

"Opsie! The Fairy Queen Tanyita thinks this spell went Kablewy!" The random thoughts of Tanya, the first girl, were spoken aloud.

"Way to state the obvious Tan Tan." Blue eyes rolled in exasperation.

"Hayley-Beer mean!" Retorted Tanya.

"Yeah and Janette's incompetent!"

"Shut up Sarah!" Janette yelled frustrated.

"Gonna make me net-face?" Black eyes glittered mischievously.

"If you don't shut up I'm gonna tear out the ridiculous green hair of yours Sarah!" Nenita commented irritably.

"Hey! My hair doesn't look ridiculous!" Sarah cried offended while patting the said green hair as if to reassure her self.

"Yes it's very…unique! Just like you!" Hayley tried to appease Sarah's sense of style.

"Sarah is speeeeecial!" Tanya giggled.

"Oh piss off you bother some fairy!" Sarah snapped.

While the girls continued to squabble amongst themselves a bright vortex began to appear above them, undetected. The wind rose and began to howl in its intensity causing debris to fly wildly about the small grove. Swirling lights of blue hues continued to spread above the ground until it was large enough to encompass the entire clearing. This of course caught the attention of the spell casters. They stood motionless and silent staring up at their creation.

"Huh. Well I guess it worked after all." Nenita commented flippantly.

"Shut up Nenita!" Chorused four voices.

"Sooo…What now?" Hayley ventured.

"Dunno. You got any ideas net-face?" Sarah asked casually.

"Um…no not really." Came the meek reply.

"Oh great so we summon this great big ass portal and then we don't know what to do with it? Gee that's just swell!" Ranted Nenita.

Again the girls were distracted from noticing a small book being picked up by the supernatural winds. It was carried away and disappeared into the portal. That's when the trembling in the ground began.

"Did anyone else feel that?"

Don't be paranoid hay-WHAT the HELL was that?" Sarah cut herself off in mid sentence as the ground gave another great shudder. The panic was clear in her voice.

"Oh yeah paranoid my ass Sarah!" Hayley snapped as all five girls struggled to keep their footing.

"What do we do? What do we do?" Nenita shrieked repetitively.

"Calm down! Just calm down! Breath! Think! Don't panic! Don't panic just think calmly and logically and oh SCREW this! PANIC!" Janette ranted to herself although her comments assured no one.

"What the fuck do we do? Janette this is all your fault! Your idea! Your spell! Your STUPID portal! Now look! See what your disrespect for the Earth has caused?! I knew it! I warned you from the start…" Tanya began screaming accusations but was cut off as the light from the swirling vortex became unbearably bright.

"Uh oh."

"We're in shit."

"Deep shit."

With that said 5 stray particle beams that oddly enough resembled lightning, each shot down to a figure below and the girls were promptly sucked in to the portal, which immediately closed in on itself. The winds abated and the small clearing was still, silent and empty. The girls had vanished, leaving only the shiny black stones in the shape of a pentagram and evidence of their presence.

A/N: Review please! Tell me if that was to confusing!