Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the other characters in the series
Summary: He'd always wanted a glimpse into his future. When his wish is unexpectedly granted, a young Marauder finds regret, pain, death and something more.
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~ Finding Myself ~
Chapter Four: Laughter, Moony and Snivellus
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About an hour after Professor McGonagall got Sirius settled into Harry's dorm in Gryffindor tower (there'd been an empty bed, and Sirius was rather struck to hear that it had belonged to the son of Frank and Alice Longbottom, who were both mad now - and the son was dead), and announced to the other students that there was a new exchange student (Arion White - he chuckled as he thought of the name he'd picked), he returned to the common-room.
Nearly half an hour after that, the portrait hole opened and Harry came in followed by Hermione and Ron.
He was talking to Lavender Brown, whom he was certain was flirting with him, when they spotted him and came over.
"Hi, Harry, Ron, Hermione." she greeted them cheerfully. "This is a new transfer student - Arion White."
Harry hastily turned his laugh into a cough and Sirius grinned. "Nice to meet you." Ron choked out, smirking. "I'm Ron. This is Harry and Hermione."
"You mean the Harry Potter?" Sirius feigned awed astonishment and grinned broadly at James's son, who cracked a smile. "Wow, I knew you went to Hogwarts, but I guess I never really thought I'd actually meet you - wow, can I have your - ?"
"Don't lay it on too thick," Hermione, who had collapsed into the armchair next to his, murmured near his ear, sounding amused. He smothered a laugh.
"Where did you transfer from, Arion?" Harry asked with a grin.
Sirius was about to answer this (he'd planned out a whole background history for the White family, down to his little sister whose name was Pandora), when Lavender took over for him. "Oh, he transferred from Beauxbatons, but he was there only for a year." she said, batting her eyelashes at him.
He registered some amusement at the fact that Hermione looked positively disgusted at Lavender's behavior.
"Hey, Lavender," she said, her tone slightly irritable, "Isn't Dean calling you?"
"Is he?" Lavender's eyes didn't move from Sirius, who was beginning to feel a little creeped out. Sure, he supposed he'd gotten his share of attention from girls back in his own time, but James had probably been the real star. "Oh, I'd better go then. I'll see you later, Arion."
She sauntered off, and Hermione exhaled sharply. Harry and Ron grinned at each other and Sirius shot Hermione a sideways glance, noticing once again how really pretty she was, and how her eyes, filled with that grief (no doubt from the pain and horrors she'd endured) lit up when she smiled, and her eyes, and her body -
Whoa, hold it right there, Padfoot, you don't even belong here! You can't think thoughts like that - especially not about the best friend of James's son! He'd kill you, and what would decent old Remus say?
"So, Sirius, mate," Ron said, looking rather puzzled. "What is it with the name you've come up with? I mean, where'd you get something like that from? Sure, 'White' I can figure - that's pretty good, by the way - "
Sirius and Harry laughed, and Hermione snorted and said, "Ron, you are the most thickheaded wart on this planet," her tone was matter-of-fact, as if she was speaking to a cute, but very dull child. "'Sirius' is the name of a star constellation - the dog, remember? - and 'Arion' is a slightly-altered version of Orion, which is another constellation - thus the link."
"Ah, I see." Ron's face lit up, and he grinned as Harry winked at Sirius, obviously not minding the good-natured jabs from his (sexy) friend.
"Miraculous." Hermione muttered dryly.
"Oh, he's not always so stupid," Harry jumped in to playfully defend his best friend. "Not always, 'Mione."
Sirius grinned. He was really beginning to like these kids. A pity they were one generation - eighteen years - apart; they would have made great Marauders!
At that moment, the portrait hole opened, and Seamus Finnigan (at least, that was what Sirius thought he'd introduced himself as earlier), who had gone out a while before, burst in.
"Hey, Harry, guess what?" he said, hurrying over, "Professor Lupin's in the castle. Oh, Arion, he wanted to see you, actually - do you know him?"
"Yeah, my parents used to know him pretty well," Sirius replied, his heart thudding slightly at the thought of seeing Moony - older - again. "I'd better go find him." He stood up and glanced back at Harry, Ron and Hermione. "Do you guys want to come?"
Hermione smiled, and Sirius's heart did a double-flip again. "I think you should handle this reunion alone and spend some time with your old friend," she said with obvious sensitivity. "We'll see Remus in a little while."
He nodded, winked at the two boys, and headed out through the Fat Lady's portrait (she hadn't changed much at all, and had to be silenced by Professor McGonagall because she'd gone into such vapours and excitement when she'd seen him first).
As he walked the hallways, he marvelled at how everything still felt so warmly familiar and how the memories practially came alive everywhere he looked. At the corner, he could almost see James lying in wait with a useful hex to catch Lily off-guard in their fourth year, and by the way, he could see himself, Remus and James chuckling with laughter over the latest prank. Even Peter's small, plump figure popped up in the oddest places, usually flanked by sudden visions of James laughing or Remus shaking his head, torn between amusement and disapproval.
A pang of sorrow struck him. Damn you, Peter.
Even through the flickering pain, he could still feel the warmth, laughter and safety that the castle always represented to them. Even with Voldemort rising stronger than ever nearby, and all the ordeals the current Order of the Phoenix had fought, that feeling was still here.
I guess it's true when they say the more things change, the more they stay the same . . .
Five minutes later, he found himself knocking at the door of an office on the third floor. There was a "Come in" and he pushed open the door and headed inside, shutting the door behind him. Obviously, Dumbledore must have briefed Remus, so Sirius grinned at Remus's back (he was facing the window) and said, "Still howling at the moon, old pal?"
Remus turned around, and Sirius was struck by how tired he looked. He was thirty-four, Sirius knew that - he and Remus had both been one year younger than James - yet he looked rather older, with his sandy hair graying at the temples and his eyes wearied by strain. However, this all vanished in the beaming smile that lit up Remus's amazed eyes.
"I don't believe it, Padfoot, I really don't!" Sirius found himself being hugged by the man and grinned. "It's really you! How in hell did you manage it!"
"You always said I was capable of anything, Moony," Sirius countered, staring at the older man in wonder. Seventeen years - wow! "Pretty cool, meeting again like this, huh? Bet you'll have a story to tell my future self when you see him - have I changed much?"
A spark of sadness seeped through Moony's carefully controlled features. "No, Sirius," he said with his quiet smile, "You never changed, even after the years in Azkaban."
"At least I escaped." Sirius winced at the thought of being in that prison. "Good to see you, Moony."
If he hadn't been certain of the fact that Remus Lupin never cried, Sirius could have sworn right then that tears shone in the man's eyes. "I can't begin to describe how good it is to see you, Padfoot," he said, his voice vibrating with suppressed emotion. "I've - missed you."
"Where have I been?" Sirius demanded, curious. "Harry also said that it's been a while since he's seen me. What am I doing right now?"
"I couldn't quite say." Lupin said slowly, and then he flashed a grin. "I never could exactly tell what you were off doing, Sirius, don't you remember?"
He laughed, and then turned at the sharp knock on the door. Remus laid a hand on Sirius's shoulder and murmured "Don't get reckless now, Padfoot, remember he's a grown man now". Sirius felt a sense of severe doom, and it was confirmed when the door opened and Severus Snape marched in.
"Oh!" he barked out, eyeing Sirius up and down with a surprisingly small amount of animosity, although Sirius was ready to hex the man, who hadn't changed much, except for gaining a few wrinkles. "Just when I thought I was rid of you for good, Black, you somehow turn up again!"
"Nice to see you too, Snivellus," Sirius muttered irritably, only Remus's restraining hand on his arm keeping him from pulling out his wand. "You haven't changed much, I'll give you that."
"Neither had you."
"Severus," Remus said warningly.
"You can keep your hair on, Lupin, I have no desire to reveal any details about anything to your young friend here. I hope you find you back, rightfully, in the past soon, Black!" And with that, he narrowed his eyes, meeting Sirius's seething glare. Sirius was momentarily startled by the flicker of - regret? - in the man's eyes. Before he could say anything, though, Snape blinked sharply, replacing the look with a closed-stone expression and turning on his heel, stalked from the room.
Sirius snorted, turning back to Remus. "That was certainly abrupt." he shook his head. "He really hasn't changed."
"Actually, you'd be surprised how much he has changed," Remus said with a rather wry smile. "His tasks and ordeals over the years and recent months have changed him about as much as they've changed the rest of us, but I think the real twitch in his behavior was the - death - a year and a half ago." Remus gulped noisily, obviously fighting back something.
"Who was it?" Sirius asked gently.
"There've been so many tragedies over the past couple of years and months, Sirius," Remus sighed heavily, although Sirius couldn't help but feel that his friend was avoiding the question in a way. "Cedric Diggory was the first, I think, the one who was killed - by Peter - minutes before Voldemort returned. Then there was a chain of horror, including Arthur coming close to death and then cruel, full-fledged deaths - "
"Like who?" Sirius knew the topic was painful, but he felt the need to know, and he also knew that Remus would feel better getting the feelings out.
"Hermione's parents, for one," Remus said rather bitterly. "The poor girl was devastated, but she didn't let it destroy her. In fact, the only time I think she was close to breaking completely was when - but that doesn't matter. There was Tonks - your cousin Andromeda's daughter - Alastor Moody - it hasn't been an easy time, Sirius, and it's not going to get any easier until Voldemort can be defeated and killed."
Sirius reached out, feeling slightly surreal (a 17-year-old giving a 34-year-old best friend reassurance?), and squeezed Remus's shoulder like he always did in his own time. Remus smiled, and that odd glimmer appeared in his eyes again.
"Things will work out, Remus." he said firmly. "I may not be in this era for much longer, but I can tell you that this will end and the pain will eventually end too. I promise you - we'll all - see the light again."
"Will we?" Remus asked quietly, sounding unbearably sad as he looked back into Sirius's concerned eyes. "Will we really see the light again?"
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TBC.
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A/n: I hope you guys are enjoying the story, and want to see what happens . . . please review and thanks for the encouragement so far!
