This chapter as it is was not what I had planned, but it is taking me in the direction that I need to go. I think it will lead nicely into the next part. I have decided that this story will be in three parts after all and I really hope none of you are disappointed with this chapter…because really it's taking me where I need the story to go. Feedback on this chapter would be GREATLY appreciated, because I can always make changes before it hits my web page. Thank you so much for reading J

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Alec didn't move when her hands reached up and ran through his hair and down his face. Memories flashed behind her closed eyelids.

"I can't get over how beautiful you are. Not just right now, but…when you look at me this way and the way you trace me…" Ben ran his hands through strands of brown hair. Jondy's fingers played over his features and she smiled at his words and bit at her lip.

"Your lips are so soft…" Jondy whispered. Ben kissed at her lips making her giggle.

Her eyes flew open and narrowed when her fingers met his lips. Her hands back so fast he could almost hear whistle the movement caused and she held them out and away from her like they were covered in mud. This wasn't her Ben. "You're not Ben…"

Alec's eyebrows rose and all he could do was stare. His mouth opened and closed a few times but his words were stuck in his throat. He couldn't form a coherent thought while she stared at him. He couldn't even begin to imagine everything she was feeling at that moment but the moisture that was building in her eyes was enough to make his own heart ache for her. He knew what it was like to love and have that love taken away. He saw more then just sadness, however. Her eyes also shown with betrayal.

"You look just like him." Her voice shook with emotion. "But you're not. You're eyes are…"

"I hate it when that look is in your eyes."

"What look?" Ben sighed deeply and cradled his head.

"Like you don't want to be here."

"I want to be wherever you are." He didn't feel like arguing.

Jondy shook her head at him. "I didn't mean here with me…you just have a look in your eye like you're supposed to be somewhere else. Like you don't want to be in this world anymore, like this place is eating you alive."

Ben turned and gazed at her. She didn't know how true her words were. "Maybe I don't."

Krit reached out and tried to take her hand but she yanked her arm away and moved to the left. "Jondy…this is Alec, he's Ben's twin."

Ben's eyes morphed to Krit's. "Don't you ever fucking touch me Krit." She shook the memory away and pointed at him and shook her head. Krit looked at the floor and sighed. "Why didn't any of you tell me?"

"We…I…Max didn't…"

"Think I would be able to handle it because Max always knows what's best for EVERYONE. I guess me just running into him in this god forsaken place is so much better." Jondy turned on her heel and strolled towards the door.

Alec watched her hasty retreat and his own anger was beginning to flare. Not at Krit and certainly not at Jondy, but at Max. He grabbed Krit's arm and the two of them caught up with Jondy who was making a beeline in the direction of the X5 barracks. He had no doubts about what she was about to do and he wanted to be there when she done it.

Max was good at trying to control any and all situations, especially if she thought she was doing what was best for everyone around her. Sometimes it worked but here lately things had been blowing up in her face.

Krit took a hold of Jondy's arm and yanked her to a halt. Jondy whipped around and glared at him. "Maybe we should talk about this Jondy. I mean Max had a pretty rough day and I'm…"

Jondy's shrill outburst of laughter may have frightened Krit and those that had been passing by but to Alec, Krit's statement and her blatantly laughing in his face was causing himself to chuckle. It took a few minutes for her to regain her composure before she wiped at her eyes.

"I don't get it."

"Max had a rough day…cry me a fucking river Krit. Like I give two shits how she's feeling right now." Jondy glanced at Alec and the two of them walked towards the X5 barracks leaving Krit staring after them.

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Jondy pushed the door to their apartment room open hard enough for it to bang against the wall and the three occupants of the room jumped in surprise. Max's mouth fell open when she met Alec's anger filled eyes over Jondy's shoulder. Syl and Zane only stared.

"I think you two need to leave." Jondy didn't look at Syl and Zane. Her eyes were burning holes into the side of Max's face. Zane and Syl didn't move, if anything they sunk lower into their seats in an effort to get comfortable. Max's forever protectors. "I guess everything I have to say involves you to."

"I, we were going to tell you but I was worried about you. I didn't know how you would handle it Jon." Max started, a tear tracing a path down her face.

"Riiight." She rolled her eyes, the contempt found in them burning him to the core. "Poor little charity case needs your help again. Well, your good deed is done. You can stop with your bullshit."

"It's not bullshit Jon."

"You really don't rate to call me Jon. None of you do." Her arms folded across her chest.

Max shifted under her gaze. "Then I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say."

"It has to be an uncomfortable feeling. It seems like lately you've gotten really good at telling whomever is listening what they want to hear. It doesn't really matter what the truth is, as long as everyone is going along with whatever it is you have to say." Alec stepped up next to Jondy and cocked his head to the side.

"Alec…" The word was more sob than not. Syl was at her side instantly and Zane stood and glared at him.

"Sit down Zane." Jondy looked disgusted. "It's always someone to her fucking rescue. Forget about the fact that every other person in the world has fucking problems. FORGET about the fact that all of you fucked me over again. What else are you all hiding from me? Is Zack going to show up next?"

"Just relax Jondy. I don't even know why you're being like this. We've tried to talk to you…" Zane dropped back into his seat and rubbed his temples. "But you didn't want any part of it. You haven't wanted anything to do with us."

"I didn't want to be your fucking pity case. That's all I am to you. 'Look at Jondy, she's so pathetic maybe if we bring her into our lives our problems won't seem so bad' and it didn't work did it? Because all of you are about Max." Jondy chuckled. "Earlier I was reading my journal. It's almost comical, the way things changed from the moment you showed up. Each day I was a little closer to that person I used to be. Max's little worshiper, Jon. Everyday I was wrapped just a little bit tighter around that finger of yours. It's funny really, back when we were kids, and even when we got older I could never escape your shadow. And the whole time I've thought you were nothing but a fast talking con artist that always got her way. But the difference was, back as Manticore what you wanted was always what I wanted, so your conning was to my benefit. I thought it was about us. I realized when you left me that it was never about us…just about you. Number one. X5-452. Max."

Max turned to face her. Her image was blurred by her tears. She blinked several times sending them cascading down to drip unheeded onto her shirt. When her vision cleared, she saw that Jondy was also crying.

She continued to talk, only adding to her heartache. "When you all came back…I will admit that I didn't trust your motives, but then I realized that you had all changed. You seemed so grown up and mature and caring. I thought you cared about me. I thought it wasn't all just talk. But I was wrong, so wrong. You haven't changed. It's still about you, isn't it? I have a guilty conscious so I'll go take care of Jondy or I have a guilty conscience so I'll send Max."

"Please stop."

"Why? Feeling guilty? Feeling disgusted? Feeling hatred?" Alec stepped closer towards Max. "Tell me Max, how long was it going to be until you sent me to another base so that you could avoid telling her?"

She gasped audibly, the shock of his words, the truth in them making her cheeks flush crimson. She'd been talking to Syl and Zane about that very idea just before the busted into the room. "Alec…"

"I'm done chasing after you Max. I'm done with all of this. I can't fucking take the lies and the mixed feelings. I once loved everything about you, but I'm starting to hate everything that comes along with it." Alec held up a hand when she began to speak. "Don't even try. I'll be gone soon enough."

"I'm leaving too." Jondy stated causing Syl and Zane's eyes to meet hers and Max's sobs became louder.

"Where are you going to go?" Zane managed to choke out.

"I don't care where I go, just far away from all of you."

Zane stood and threw his hands up. "And who's going to take care of you?"

"I don't need to be taken care of. No one here has been 'taking care' of me. I could have left a thousand times by now." Jondy marched towards her bedroom. Max jumped up and reached out to take a hold of her arm. Jondy looked at her hand then into her eyes.

"Please stay…" Max began to plead and glanced over at Alec who only shook his head.

Jondy shook her head. "I'm leaving, I've already decided." 

"Are you going together?" Zane was glaring at Alec.

Alec met Jondy's eyes. "Just until we're out of Seattle."

"Now if you'll take your hands off me…" 

Max knew, without a doubt, that she had been dismissed. And the expression on her face before she had once again turned her back, had been worse than anger, worse than hatred. It had been disgust. The very sight of her disgusted Jondy and she found herself once again feeling something that she hadn't felt in months. Her hands reached out to her, her mouth opened, but no words would come. There were so many she could say but at this moment she knew that none of them would make a difference. It wasn't about words; it was about what she'd done. Her actions had hurt her way more than any of her pretty words could undo. Max dropped her hands to her sides and turned to look at Alec. He turned his back and faced the door.

The muscles constricted in her chest drawing an ache she hadn't felt in months. It reminded her of every time she had seen one of her dead brothers or sisters. Every second of those experiences were a permanent fixture in her mind. They always hovered just far enough in the back of her mind that it almost seemed to disappear, but yet still close enough that when these moments came it was there, tearing her apart. She'd felt it again when she'd first seen Jondy, her eyes filling with hatred before she turned her back on her and even then her eyes had taken her back to Ben. And now looking into Alec's eyes here it was again, doubling and tripling in size to fill her mind to overflowing. She felt that same paralyzing pain she'd felt when Tinga was laying dead in her arms. That loss, that longing, that willingness to give anything she possessed to have her back…she felt it all.

And what made it worse was that she had known in her heart of hearts that this was coming. The knowledge that people she cared for so deeply couldn't stand the sight of her left a cavernous hole in her body between her chest and her gut, and she suddenly felt as if she may vomit. So this is what Jondy had felt like when Ben had turned his back.

She hurried to her room and dropping to her knees she began to breathe slowly, attempting to calm herself. When her stomach was back under her control her mind again whispered of the past and of the things that she could never take back.