Hello all. I am slightly disappointed with the review count, but really, I am doing this story for myself.
Really, I am. So if I just get bored with it…I could stop. Really, I could.
(Sigh…I'm such a review whore)
Well, other than those lovely little idiosyncrasies of MY life the story is going along famously and I am truly thankful to everyone who reviewed. As for the comments of SOME reviewers…(*cough cough* Suppistenshi *cough cough* TsukiNoHikari *cough cough*) I would like to say that NOTHING that they say is indeed true other than the fact that they enjoy my story. Seriously. They need help.
Oh, and…the reviews ARE great…I am just in a good mood cuz I got a hot date tonight! Woo-hoo!
So…enjoy. Enjoy!
And review!
-MC
-------------------------------------------------------
Bloody hell.
That was what the after affects of that night felt like.
My idea of "fuck Kagome" wasn't working as well as I planned.
Which that mantra brought its own problems. When had I begun to think of Carlton as Kagome?
But it wasn't me I was really worried about. For the past three days Kagome had been either ignoring me or chewing me out for something. I felt like we were already married. Except that I kind of actually cared about how she was feeling.
------------------------------------
"You cared? How sweet…"
"Just a little."
"Uh-huh. Sure. Whatever you say."
-------------------------------------
She had also taken to leaving the house while I was at work and not returning until some ungodly hour. I knew because I couldn't fall asleep until I heard her door click shut.
I was granted some respite for Rin was to arrive today. At least someone who loves me will perhaps cheer me up.
Rin always had that effect on people. She made you smile even if you had the worst day of your life.
And these symptoms of "rejection" had gotten worse since that night. Whenever I saw Kagome my heart lurched painfully in my chest and I truly wanted to apologize until she would walk out of the room or bait me into an argument over certain issues. She found my sore spots: abortion, biotechnology and John Locke's "Second Treatise on Civil Government."
How the latter came about I don't really remember but her eyes were alight with some kind of fiery fury at the topic. Kagome, to say the least, was a democrat.
We had already debated all three until I wanted to scream. However, I did not. A Kingston never showed his true emotions in public (among other things).
Note to self: Stop quoting your dear old father lest you become him. Oh. The horror.
At about two Jaken had gone to pick Rin up from the airport and I took off early to meet her at home. Surprisingly, Kagome had joined me. Was she excited to meet Rin?
-------------------------------
"I love Rin-chan!"
"Yes, well, so does everyone else."
"I don't think so!"
"Who does not love Rin?"
"Have you met Jaken?"
"Right."
--------------------------------
Kagome was sitting on the couch in the main sitting room of the mansion and I stood, glancing out the window but not really seeing anything. I was trying to figure out how to broach a conversation with her.
"Where does Rin go to school?"
Well, I guess that was easy.
"Rin goes to school in Japan."
"What that far?"
Ah. Now a lesson in Kingston family traditions.
"I went there when I was a child and I wanted to pass on the tradition. I turned out alright so I felt it a suitable school for Rin."
Nice going, Sess. She obviously doesn't think you turned out okay. And I am starting to agree with her what with my behavior lately. Honestly man, you're a twenty-seven year old grown up. You can handle some little twenty three year old woman!
But she didn't comment as I expected she would. I was about to have another go when Jaken opened the door and Rin stumbled in behind him.
"Sesshomaru-sama!" Rin ran to me and hugged my leg spiritedly. I kneeled and hugged her back.
"I missed you Sesshomaru-sama! I had fun though! Why did I come home early? Why did Jaken say I was going to go to school here for a while? Why didn't you come pick me up from the airport? Why aren't you at work? Why are you still in your tie? Why are—oh…who is the pretty lady?"
I barely suppressed a laugh. I delicately kissed her nose and hugged her again. Yes, I believe this was what I needed. I had the damndest urge to listen to the Beatles.
All you need is love, right?
----------------------------------
"Did you really just say that?"
"Uh. No?"
"I heard you!"
"You must be severely mistaken."
-----------------------------------
Kagome looked like she felt a little awkward sitting on the couch in her rigid fashion. The moment Rin had entered her previously cold eyes brightened into that sparkling and entrancing green that was truly beautiful. Her orbs danced with a fire somewhat akin to lust—but it was some other emotion I wasn't familiar with.
But when I had hugged Rin and kissed her little nose Kagome's eyes darkened again. The luster was gone and the look left a dull ache in my heart. What was wrong now?
"Rin, this is Kagome Carlton. She will be staying with us for a while."
Rin cheerfully bounded over to Kagome and respectfully bowed to her. She did just get back from Japan after all.
"Hi Kagome-san. Nice to meet you."
She held out her little hand and Kagome lifelessly took it into her own.
"Hi Rin. You can just call me Kagome, okay?"
"Okay, Kagome-chan!" Kagome smiled but it did not reach her eyes. She then got up from the couch.
"Rin, I have some things to do but it was very nice meeting you."
"Can you come play with Rin later?"
"Of course."
And with that she left. Rin immediately faced me.
"Why is Kagome-chan sad?"
"I don't know, Rin."
"Well, you should go help her, Sesshomaru-sama. You always know how to make me feel better."
Out of the mouths of babes, they say.
"Alright Rin. Go unpack and meet me for dinner."
And she too left to go unpack after another hug and a kiss to my cheek.
Now for Kagome.
I walked the long way to her rooms trying to figure out what to say. Nothing came to me as I neared her door. I knocked. A muffled sound came through the door and she opened it.
"Thank you Jaken I—"
Her tearstained face was apparent now. She stood in complete shock and started and me. I quietly and softly put a hand on her arm and she visibly flinched but did not pull away. I invited myself into her rooms and closed the door.
"What is wrong?" For some reason unbeknownst to myself I truly wanted to know the answer.
"There was…ummm…something my father didn't tell you about the merger."
Why would this make her cry?
She sighed and continued. "There is a time limit. Family is stipulated but not marriage or blood. But it does say that if it is by marriage then said heir must be wed by their twenty-fourth birthday for spouse to receive the company. If heir is not wed then future spouse cannot have access to the company at any time. Only their children."
That was nice and more difficult and all but I really wanted to know why she was crying.
"What is wrong with you?" I asked again.
"I told you! My twenty-fourth birthday is in two weeks and everything is wrong. You don't want me or love me and I will have to deal with this company I don't want for the rest of my life! I hate offices. I want to be outdoors and doing something I love! Not stuck behind a stupid desk and doing something I abhor!"
Tears really began to fall now. I pulled her into my embrace and she wrapped her arms around my neck. I lead her to the couch as she buried her head into the crook of my neck and continued to cry. With one hand around her waist I pulled Kagome onto my lap much like I did when I was comforting Rin and began to stroke her hair. When I placed a reassuring kiss on her forehead she slowly brought her eyes level with mine.
"What are you doing?"
I wanted to ask the same question myself. When I told Rin I would comfort Kagome I didn't really expect to be in the strangely relaxing position I was now in. I just wanted to be near her.
I guess it really began when I found out she was a virgin. I botched that but it also showed me, peculiarly, a non-sexual side to Kagome. Our fiery debates displayed a bright woman who knew and understood information. And the fact that she was still a virgin in the first place meant she believed in love and was waiting for it.
For it was ludicrous to believe she had never had a boyfriend before. Not with the moves she knows.
"I…I care for you?"
"You care for me?"
"I think I might love you."
Woah! Rewind! Take a step back and pause! Did I just say that out loud? It only came to me just now and I had to ho and blurt the first inkling out to her.
Her reaction was hardly kosher. She immediately got up and stood over my sitting form.
"I don't consider this funny."
"Neither do I."
Who would ever joke about that? Well…my half brother would…but lets just say that is an entirely different story.
"I don't believe you are capable of love."
"Do you know or care that little about me to actually believe that?"
"Little! I do only know a little about you! You never tell me anything! You keep it guarded behind your emotionless mask!"
"So you do care for me?"
"Sesshomaru, lets put it this way. How can I love you when I don't know if you love me for me or if you love me because of the company."
Ouch. That hurt. I got up to leave.
"But…thanks for…uh…listening to me and everything."
I left without a response. I needed to mull over this new thought. Was my overly Kingston-trained mind telling me I love her because I subconsciously wanted the company?
----------------------------------
Things a Kingston Cannot Do1. Show emotions publicly
2. Abuse self publicly
3. Disrespect elders
4. Disobey
5. Take home an animal of any kind
6. Have a child out of wedlock
7. Incur debt
8. Joke
9. Marry a blonde
10. Be drunk
11. Develop intimate bonds with anyone
12. Be a comedian, horse trainer or any menial service job. And for good measure, botanists, tobacconists or cheerleaders.
13. Be the President of the United States
14. Do any sort of illegal activity unless it has to do with the company
Things a Kingston Must Do1. Exceed expectations
2. Work hard
3. Be successful
4. Be rich
5. Create an heir
---------------------------------------------
I ended up in my home office with a cup of brandy. It swirled around in my glass as I took another sip.
Note to self: Never recollect rules and regulations when drunk. They suddenly seem funny and absurd.
I wasn't really drunk. But I wanted to be. I hadn't been drunk in years. Since college. And it had only happened once.
I was at some upper-class party that my father had forbidden me to go to and I wanted to get back at him for it. But I soon learned that breaking that particular rule only hurt myself in the long run.
I remember telling anyone who would listen about what it took to be a Kingston. Luckily everyone else was as intoxicated as I was. I slept with a girl and nine months later I was married and had a daughter named Rin. Two months after that I was a divorcee and still had Rin.
I don't think my father ever stopped lecturing me about the stupidity of that night.
Like I didn't know.
Now I was drinking because of her. Not "pissed off" drinking, but more "I'm brooding" drinking.
I sighed.
I don't like lying. I especially don't like lying to myself. So I guess that was why I was able to accept that I loved this insane girl on some level. And that somewhere along the line of this week with her my company had taken a back seat to her.
But she made it clear she did not feel remotely the same way.
This whole heart wrenching pain stuff was so new to me. I am not used to showing or expressing my feelings at all.
I needed to visit Rin.
Rin was just going to bed when I came to tuck her in. She giggled and hugged me as I kissed her forehead.
"Do you want to continue reading where we left off?"
"Yes!" She said enthusiastically and I brought out 'Emma' and began reading. I made sure to add voices to my characters as usual and Rin was properly disgusted with my Mr. and Mrs. Elton. I continued and could feel the heart wrenching lessen some.
This is exactly what I needed.
*--------------------------------------------------------------------------------*
I was about to talk to Rin again before I stopped at her door. I heard voices inside. I didn't want to intrude but it seemed like a delightful rendition of 'Emma' was being read. I opened the door a crack and smiled at the sight: Sesshomaru animatedly speaking in a posh British accent as the ever-formidable Mrs. Elton.
I couldn't help but lean on the door jam and listen in. And as Rin began to drift off to sleep I decided that it was probably time for me to go. But I didn't miss the look of pure love and devotion Sesshomaru held on his face when he thought no one was looking.
He truly did love Rin.
And he said he loved me.
Was he really capable of love?
