DISCLAIMER: they still aren't mine.

            Dear Ruthie,

I lost my girlfriend.  I'm not sure how it happened.  She was here last season, I mean year, and then with a few minor utterings, she disappeared from my life completely.  Although I am a pseudo-orphan who is just learning about family in the most touching way, the abruptness of her departure strikes me as a bit odd.  I'm afraid she might have been kidnapped by plot bunnies who want to blackmail me into recreating the stunning dynamic I once had with Mary, whom, like all men, I love deeply despite her fickle nature.  Should I go for it with Mary or try to figure out what in the world happened to my old girlfriend?

            R.

            Dear Robbie,

I too found Joy's departure to be disturbingly abrupt.  Perhaps, instead of focusing your energy on Mary, who will inevitably dump you for the first fireman, policeman, or ambulance driver she meets, you should look for another budding Latina pop star who can grace our living room with random bouts of dancing and singing.  Also, remember that you are, in fact, still young and shouldn't yet be worrying about making a life long commitment, even though only I see this truth amidst the wacky mixed up Camden time line in which everyone jumps straight from being a kid to being twenty-five.

            Ruthie

            Dear Ruthie,

I've been kidnapped by evil plot bunnies who are threatening my life..  Please help

            J.

            Dear Joy,

No one misses you.  Have fun with the bunnies.

            Ruthie.

PLEASE REVIEW… I may stop writing this if there's not more interest soon.