Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Author's Note: I was commanded to update, so here's the update. Review and I'll update some more.
Dear Ruthie,
I want to be a
minister because it fits so closely with the image I wish I had of myself, and
plus it was the only thing I could think of to give my father for his
birthday. It was either that or a
tie. Now, I don't know what to think,
because my first sermon, of three point seven minutes in length, concentrated
on my desire to reserve Sundays for spying on people who don't center their
lives around my desires, and I don't know if everyone will start acting
according to my will. This disturbs
me. Also, my face has been fattening of late,
do you know any remedies?
-L.
Dear Lucy,
Perhaps the reason you are treated like a whiny hypocrite is because you are one. I don't mean to be judgmental, my dear chipmunk faced sibling, but if the best sermon you can come up with runs less than four minutes in length and was fueled by your desire to ensure Roxanne has a loveless life, perhaps you would be better suited to a life as a heinously whiny bi-otch than to a life in the ministry. You should have gone with the tie, but look at the bright side: at least Glen Oak has a divinity school, so you don't have to gallivant off, having adventures of your own a la Mary. How convenient.
Ruthie
P.S. Did you realize that you're the only
P.P.S. Perhaps now is the correct time to apologize
for sneaking in at night and whispering the words "Kevin is going to leave you"
in your ear for hours at a time. Perhaps not. Happy
dreams.
