Nope, no trouble, just vacation (and I'm still recovering from shaking Patrick Stewart's hand *cough*) and a lack of reviews ;) I just took my time reading and rewriting this chapter since ppl didn't seem to like the last one, judging by the number of reviews.
So, here's Chapter Thirty One and I whole-heartedly hope it's better *smiling*
Chapter Thirty-One: Trials
Seething with anger Riker strode through the corridors, not even noticing how other officers would jump aside at his approach. His hands were balled into fists and the only reason he hadn't smashed them against something --or someone-- was that he had a definite purpose in mind.
The knowledge that Thomas, his duplicate, was responsible for the hell Deanna had been through was unimaginable! If his so-called brother was anything like himself he couldn't have hurt Deanna in a thousand years! And yet it seemed he had.
If Thomas could hurt her so, did that mean he could too? And if he could and Deanna knew that, how was she ever going to trust him again? How could she look at him and not see Thomas? The scene earlier in her quarters, and the one back in Sickbay only proved she couldn't discern him from his replica. Was this Thomas' revenge? 'If I can't have her, you can't have her either'?
Arrived at his destination he slammed the palm of his hand against the computer-panel next to the grey doors and stormed inside once they opened. Without paying any attention to his surroundings he headed for the blur of copper-red hair. "Why the *hell* didn't you tell me?!"
Beverly Picard jumped at the ire in her voice, but before she could react in any other way her husband had leaped forward and now stood between her and Riker. Jean-Luc might not have been as tall as Will, but his entire stance shouted defense; he'd gone cold and he only did that when he was as angry as he could be.
"You knew!" He shouted again, this time addressing the captain. "Just how long were you going to keep this from me?!" Jean-Luc didn't move when the tall commander approached him and Beverly caught a slight twinge in his jaw, she braced herself against the back of the couch, fully expecting a yelling match to follow.
"I suggest you calm yourself -commander-" her husband said quietly, so calm it was frightening "keep your distance from my wife" she loved it when he got all protective "and then tell us what the devil you're talking about."
Will too noticed he'd pushed his superior officer to his limit and took a step back, his anger not fading. "How long," he spoke through clenched teeth "have you known it was Thomas?" He was addressing her again and when she opened her mouth to ask him how he'd found out horror flooded through her.
"Will, where is Deanna?"
"I left her in her quarters. Now answer me!"
But she didn't answer, not when she pushed herself up from her comfortable position and not when she dashed past the men into the corridor. "Asshole" she hissed under her breath.
"You know, I thought I'd seen it all from you, but I have to congratulate you Will, you've reached a new low." Picard said calmly and then took off after his wife, leaving Riker behind to contemplate on his words.
Jean-Luc caught up with his wife before she'd reached the Counselor's quarters, she really couldn't walk that fast, carrying their child inside her. They found Deanna huddling in a corner of her living room, knees drawn his against her chest and slowly rocking back and forth.
In Beverly's eyes he caught the beginnings of sympathic tears and saw her struggle to fight her desire to lower herself onto the floor. He knew that this was the point where he had to take over, since it would be hell for his wife to sit down on the floor, no matter how badly she wanted to.
As he lowered himself next to the huddled form of Troi he wasn't entirely at ease with his task, but at the same time he wasn't feeling as awkward as he would have a year ago. He a gentle hand on her shoulder; exerting just enough pressure to being noticed and was astound to find her body trembling beneath his grasp. "Deanna?" He tried to coax her into acknowledging their presence in the very least and tightened his embrace.
The half-Betazoid kept trembling; her muscles so tense they felt like duranium. "She's closed herself completely" his wife offered wearily, tears already rolling down her face.
"Counselor." He didn't know what to do, how far he could go without pushing her completely over the egde. "Deanna." He tried again, a little more forceful this time. There was still no reaction and he looked up at his wife who stood looming over them, tears rolling unchecked down her features. She sobbed quietly, the little sounds quickly transforming into longer and louder wails. "No"
Something felt wrong Jean-Luc realized. As distressing at Troi's behavior was Beverly shouldn't react this intense. He watched her as she started to back away, scared by an invisible ghost. "No! You can't hurt me!" She closed her eyes and on her face he could she the battle raging within her. "You CAN'T!!!" Her scream tore at his heart, only he was unable to find the person who scared her so. "You're DEAD you cannot hurt me!!!"
Then he felt it; fear trickling into his mind. It was like a soft summer rain, tiny little drops of fear falling down into his mind but as they encountered no resistance, the drops grew and fell down harder. The fear was unlike anything he'd ever felt before, it intruded every pore in his skin, every cell in his body. He could feel the foreign emotions crawling with him like maggots in a carcass. As intense as the emotions were, they had not yet merged with his own, giving him an edge only empaths had. He could study the emotions from a relatively objective point of view, even though they co-existed with his in his own mind.
Curiosity coaxed him to observe and at the same time made it easier to remind himself that these feelings were not his own. And so he studied them; part of him frightened by the intimate contact, another part soaring in the exploration.
~*+*~
So many feelings were crawling around in his head that he didn't know –how- to feel, but he knew there was one thing he shouldn't feel and that was panic. There was no logical reason for him to feel panicked, nothing traumatic had happened to him recently, he wasn't in a dangerous situation; he simply shouldn't feel the way he felt. It was as if the emotions weren't even his own.
Something was wrong. He had to get away from this place. Now! Before they caught him! Before they would hurt him! "Quick! Get to your feet and RUN!!!" Someone was yelling at him, urging him on, coaxing him to move, but he couldn't see anything. "Hurry! You have to get away! Before he kills you! GET AWAY!!!" He scurried backwards, his heart hammering even faster when he found himself backed up against something soft but unyielding. His legs refused to carry him, he couldn't move, couldn't scream, couldn't breath. "Move!!!"
'This is wrong. I have to stay calm! Breath slowly, there's nothing that can hurt me. I am myself. I am Jean-Luc Picard and I am –not- scared.' The captain kept repeating the mantra over and over again, forcing himself to remember and to fight. "Please! Get away from him! You have to try and fight him, you can't let him win!" 'I am captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Federation Flagship The Enterprise. I am Jean-Luc. I am married to…I am married to…Beverly! Beverly Crusher, my wife…the mother of my child.'
His eyes shot open and he could see again. The blue eyes haunting him had disappeared, replaced by the familiar sight of his ship's design. Beats of sweat were rolling down his face, running in streams along his spine. His artificial heart beating like crazy in response to the fear and panic that he felt.
Next to him a woman, dark hair, sobbing, familiar, Deanna. Across the room another woman, also sobbing and familiar, red hair, pregnant, "Beverly!" His feet were still unwilling to carry him and so he had to crawl over to her. He wrapped him arms around her shaking form. He didn't know what was happening, but they had to get away. The emotions; the panic and the fear, they were not his and yet he felt them. He had to remember they were not his, or they would overwhelm him and never let go.
He had to get away, but how, if he could not walk? He had to get Beverly to Sickbay; stress wasn't good for the baby, he had to get them to Sickbay!
Sickbay
He could hail Sickbay! The second he realized that, his hand flew up to his commbadge "Picard to Sickbay, medical emergency in Counselor Troi's quarters!"
On our way Captain They would be here soon, good. They had to get away from the emotions. The emotions that were not theirs. He had to fight them, gain control before the crew found him.
What was causing this? The emotions, why did he feel them? Whose were they? He looked around the room, trying to see who his offenders were but all he saw was Deanna…
Of course!
Just then the doors slid open and a medical team hurried in. It wouldn't be log before they would start to feel it too, he figured. "Get the Doctor and take her to Sickbay." He ordered, finally able to stand up.
"But sir," a young lieutenant objected, already walking over to the counselor.
"No! I will explain later, but we must leave her now!" He hated the edge to his voice and the doubt he saw crossing the medical officers' faces, but he knew he was right and he still was their Captain so they had no choice but to follow his orders. "Move it!"
Albeit hesitantly, two of the officers picked up his wife and laid her on the hoverbed and began to move her out of the cabin. Reluctantly he offered the arm the third medical officer offered him and they followed the others into the corridor. After a few steps –each becoming easier than the previous—Jean-Luc found himself face to face with Will Riker. His second officer looked utterly concerned and confused, but he could not be bothered with him right now. "Stay away from her Commander." Was all he said as he passed by the blue-eyed man.
Throwing one last glance at Troi's quarters, Riker obeyed and followed his Captain to Sickbay where they were greeted by Kate Pulaski. "What happened?" She quickly took Beverly's vital signs as well as the baby's and ordered Riker out of the room. When he didn't comply she shot him a cold glare and soon a nurse was more or less dragging him away.
Jean-Luc held tightly onto his wife's hand, relieved to see she was quickly calming down. "You're both fine," Kate said with a smile "I can only detect an elevation in the adrenaline levels, but that will pass in about ten minutes. The baby suffered no ill effect. So what happened?"
"I'm not sure." Beverly whispered in a trembling voice, looking at her husband for reassurance.
Picard took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. "I think Deanna projected her emotions on us…almost as a defense mechanism."
"Why would she do that?"
"Commander Riker…he came to us after having been with Deanna…he knew about Thomas."
"But Deanna said she wouldn't tell h…" Pulaski's voice trailed off as she realized what must've happened. Beverly sat up and nodded at the other doctor's unspoken diagnosis. "If she mistook Will for Thomas the emotional stress must have been tremendous…"
"…And might have affected the baby." The redhead finished. "Someone needs to check on her, but make sure to give them an inhibitor to prevent her from projecting again."
"The baby?" The two doctors shared a glance, then nodded almost imperceptibly. Impatiently Picard waited for an explanation; keeping his eyes trained on his wife as Kate slipped out of the room. "What baby?"
"Jean-Luc…Deanna's pregnant. We haven't told her yet, because we thought it would be best to allow her time to deal with what happened before…"
There hadn't been many times in his life when Jean-Luc Picard found himself stunned into silence, but this was definitely one of them and he doubted he would ever find the words.
"There's more" Beverly continued mournfully "the examinations show evidence that she had an abortion. I don't think she even knows about it…" She bit her lower lip to stop it from trembling, but failed. Her vision blurred by tears she reached out to her husband and clung to him as if hanging on for dear life. "I don't know how to tell her…oh Jean-Luc!" Tears cascaded down onto his clothes soaking the material to his skin within rapidly passing minutes and he felt his own eyes watering as well. His mind numb with the new information and the complications it brought along.
Bridge to Captain Picard, incoming message from Admiral Necheyev. Startled the married couple tightened their hugs for a scarce second, than released each other and wiped their tears away. "Patch it through to Doctor Crusher's office." The Captain ordered as soon as he had hit his commbadge.
Aye Sir
Because words still eluded him --where there any words for a situation like this? He wondered sadly—he tenderly kissed his wife's forehead and left for the office.
Beverly watched him go and once again felt tears looming in her eyes. Had she done the right thing in confiding in him? She knew Kate thought so, but she wasn't quite convinced yet. Her friend had gone through so much pain that she would do anything to keep her from hurting more; even if that included never telling Deanna about the abortion, and if it were possible, she wouldn't even tell her about the child. Ethics however prevented her from doing either and forced upon her the difficult task of telling Deanna about the child growing inside her, as well as the child she had lost.
Tears fell again as she tried to imagine how Troi would react. Beverly rubbed her belly and silently thanked whoever was listening that her baby was created out of love. She heard the door opening and looked up to see her husband. Fright gripped her throat when she saw the blank and defeated look on his face; his eyes were dull and seemed to stare right through her. "Jean-Luc? What did the Admiral want?"
He opened his mouth to speak, but not a sound came out. He shook his head almost lethargically but could not bring himself to take another step towards his wife.
"Jean-Luc?" Her voice now held an urgency brought on by fear and she stood up to go to him and wrap her arms around him.
"I…tried…failed." Picard took a deep breath and closed his eyes, burying his face in Beverly's red hair. "They're going to court martial her."
