Jig had never smelled a barn before, but while standing on the porch she certainly got a life time supply of the smell. She had knocked on the door a few times and now waited for a response from the inside. The thought did cross her mind that no one was home, but not only was there a car in the driveway, there were three of them. Finally a man answered who reminded Jig of a TV show she had seen from the 70's. He looked her over as if discerning whether or not he should speak to her.

"What?" he finally said in a callused voice. She was nervous enough being there without him.

"Um, can I, uh, may I speak to Kate, please?" she asked him shyly. This caused him to look her over again, this time with more scrutiny.

"Are you a friend from school?" he asked. She bit the inside of her lip slightly, wondering that if she lied, would he know.

"I took piano lessons," Jig told him. It wasn't a lie, she had taken them, Ephram taught her. He gave her one more look before calling for his daughter. Jig tried not to make her relief visible, he did catch on a little to it, but not enough to ask.

When Kate got to the door she too gave Jig a questionable look over. Kate, Jig noted, was hugging herself with a very meek look on her face, very timid, almost afraid of the world. Kate looked back over her shoulder to see if her father was in earshot, but he wasn't. So she turned back to Jig.

"So who are you?"

"My name is Ji- Juliet. I'm a friend of Ephram Brown's… and Dr. Brown's…" Jig let on. Kate narrowed her eyes and looked Jig over again, much like her father had.

"What do you want?" Kate asked. Jig sighed slightly, readying for the big jump.

"Dr. Brown wanted me to talk to you," Jig told her. Kate fell deathly silent, understanding more than was said.

"I have to go," Kate said beginning to close the door. Jig stuck both her foot and arm in the door's path.

"I know you feel like you want to throw up all the time, and I know you want to kill yourself, you just can't bring yourself to do it," Jig told her. Kate opened the door and looked at Jig meekly. She sighed, looked down at the ground, and let Jig inside.

Kate had placed Jig in a secluded room of the house and came back carrying a tray with two cups and a teapot. She closed and locked the door behind her and poured both herself and Jig a cup of tea. Jig wasn't normally a tea drinker, but she took a sip regardless. As Kate sat down Jig cleared her throat and positioned herself to have a better angle at which to speak. Jig gripped the hem of her loose fitting shirt, hoping it would give her some strength.

"Okay, so, Dr. Brown told me all about it, and there's a reason why he did. Uh, earlier this week was my one year anniversary," Jig confessed quickly. Kate looked at her now after trying to avoid doing so. Kate's eyes were growing noticeable tears.

"Does the pain ever stop?" Kate asked her desperately. Jig's eyebrows narrowed slightly, knowing she had to tell Kate the truth.

"I don't know, it's only been a year, but I've heard it does. It should be easier for you, though, you can afford Prozac. I couldn't, that really sucked…" Jig complained, and Kate smiled slightly. Well, she didn't frown, at least.

"There shouldn't be a problem getting a prescription," Kate told her. Jig nodded.

"Yeah, there's a good bit of living in Everwood. Those who know, care!" Jig exclaimed, and this time Kate really did smile. Then they fell silent again, each taking a mechanical sip from their tea cups.

"So who was he?" Kate asked her. Jig let out a relieving sigh.

"Hunter Berman. I cleaned his horse."

"I've never heard it put that way before," Kate said and they both laughed. Jig watched her laughing.

"When's the last time you laughed, Kate?" she asked and Kate let out a contemplative sigh.

"A very long time."

"There are places and people you can get in contact with, probably not in Everwood but in Denver. Groups where you can talk about it. It can really help. After my abortion, I practically lived at this Women's center in downtown LA. They had great biscuits…"

"What happened to him?"

"Who?"

"Hunter," Kate specified. At that Jig fell very solemn, even for the subject at hand.

"He died shortly before I found out I was pregnant. Pancreatic cancer, of all things," Jig said, finally beginning to cry herself, Kate fell silent and let her go on. "So, you can imagine how I felt after I got rid of the baby. I felt like I had killed Hunter all over again. Like I destroyed the last piece of him in the entire world. Like I abandoned him…."

"So why'd you get the abortion?" Kate asked in a sensitive tone.

"I couldn't have that baby. I couldn't condemn it to a life of poverty and pain. That's all there was for it. Hunger, horror, hopelessness. A lot of other things beginning with 'h.' I couldn't do that to something I knew I would love so much. I wanted to end the pain. I wanted my suffering to end with me!" Jig told Kate, tears now flowing briefly from them both.

"My, my dad made me feel like everything I had done was wrong. Like sleeping with Matthew was the bottom line worse ting I could ever do. And, aborting the baby, my dad made it seem, was like, making things right again. He really made me regret my love for Matthew, to the point where I wouldn't… couldn't… let anything beautiful come from it. I had to pretend it never happened, like God would forget if there wasn't any evidence. I thought that I really didn't have a choice, even when Dr. Brown said I did, I, I couldn't believe. I really thought that baby would mean the end for me," Kate admitted for the first time. Jig set both of their tea cups down and wrapped her arms around Kate, who was now crying and bright red in the face.

"Don't worry Kate, God will forgive you. That's what he does," Jig reassured her, but it didn't make Kate feel any better. Maybe if Jig had actually believed in God it would have come across better.

"Why did I do it? Why!" Kate nearly screamed. Jig held her tighter.

"Because regret is what keeps us tethered to the Earth. Without it we'd just float into oblivion, forever forgotten," Jig offered. Kate wrapped her arms around Jig now.

Edna and Irv spent that early April night in front of the fire, waiting for Jig to return in a quasi fashion. They were both silent, each reading their choices. Irv had the Everwood Pinecone wile Edna read from some random motorcycle magazine. Finally the silence in the house got to Irv which it was somewhat known to do. With a sigh he folded the newspaper and placed it in his lap. He turned toward Edna, as if expecting his sigh and paper folding would have gained her attention. He was kidding himself again.

"Edna…" he called to her. She continued reading about some custom bike, completely oblivious to her husband's voice. Irv sighed again in aggravation, this time simply for his own use.

"Hey grandma," he yelled. At this remark Edna's head snapped toward him with a force that could crush a walnut had one been there.

"Watch it tubby!" she scolded. He chuckled slightly, reassuring her he meant nothing but good things by it.

"It's the only way I can get your attention while you're reading that," he explained. Edna frowned and placed the magazine on the table between where the two sat.

"Okay then, what do you want?"

"I was just getting tired of this silence. Let's talk," he suggested. Edna looked up at the ceiling and let out an aggravated yet yielding sigh. She moved her feet from up on the couch to the floor, turning to face him.

"About what?" she demanded, trying to sound enthusiastic. If Edna was ever truly enthusiastic about anything, no one would notice anyway, so the attempt was useless.

"Well, how about Linda. Where is she now? How's her new book coming?"

"I don't know about the book but she's doing some research in Asia, or Africa… some place incredibly too hot for anyone from Everwood…."

"Is she still learning about Eastern medicines?" Irv asked, himself thinking the subject quite interesting. Edna, however, despite everything, still had some of her old fashioned ideas in her. She scoffed at Irv's question.

"Yeah. I'm glad she waited for her father to die before she started that stuff. It would have killed him," Edna explained, propping her feet up again on the sofa and reaching for her magazine.

"Mack's getting married," Irv chimed in as the magazine was in mid air. The periodical fell to the floor. Edna looked at him surprised, studying his face to see if her oaf was joking again. His face showed no signs of jest.

"Married? At his age? Unacceptable Irv, you have to do something," she commanded him. He just smiled.

"Who am I to say who or when he can and cannot marry?" he asked not so much for the answer but just to bring up some familiar arguments Edna had faced before.

"Besides," Irv continued, "he's told me quite a bit about her. Her name is, Lisa, I think, she's Puerto Rican. She seems very nice and sophisticated. That's two things Mack needs exposure to in large doses."

"Are you finished? Is there anymore important news you need to tell me?" Edna asked him as she picked up her magazine. He shook his head in response. Edna nodded in approval and opened the magazine to where she left off.

"Oh, Edna," Irv said. Edna turned to him with a scowl. "I'm pregnant."

"Oh shut up!" Edna yelled and went back to her magazine again. Irv chuckled slightly.