A/N: Yet another short chapter. Gomen! Anyway, I don't have too much to say besides thank you to all the reviewers!!! You make me so happy! I'll be doing personal thank you's soon, so you can all feel extra special too. So, please keep reviewing and if you have any questions, please feel free to ask!

Disclaimer: No owny, no suey!


Chap. 5

Rem lay in her worn bed, her eyes wide open and her senses alert to all that was going on around her. The night air was pressing in upon her, threatening to choke her and bind her against the rough fabric of the blanket beneath her. She could hear the crickets chirping out in the vast garden around her home, a piece of normalcy in all the insanity around her.

Nick had left hours before, assured that she would sleep soundly. However, her own wandering thoughts and guilty conscience roused her out of her tranquillity. She felt like crying, to try and wash away the oppression the weighed down upon her heart, but no tears came. She just lay there, staring up at the ceiling, hoping that it was all a dream and knowing full well that it was all too real.

Rem closed her eyes and tried to sleep again, to make the nightmare go away for just a little bit longer before the day came again. Gary's friends would be sobering up soon, she wondered if any of them would recall the previous night. She shuddered at the thought.

"I killed a man," she whispered. As soon as she said the words, she felt the weight of what they meant press upon her already unsteady heart. "I...I killed someone."

She sat up suddenly, her blonde hair matted and her eyes wide, "What right did I have to kill him?!" She felt the panic begin to overcome her and tried to push it back down, resulting in a soft strangled cry issuing forth from somewhere inside her, where the pain lay.

She sat silent for a few moments, her head buried in her hands, trying to overcome the grief that was consuming her. Her long hair pooled around her, looking more like strands of silk in the bright moonlight that filtered in through the window. She shook with pain as it racked against her body and soul.

Suddenly, the answer hit her. Rem knew the truth and instantly regretted the consequences of what she had to do. "I can't stay here," she murmured, her eyes wide, "I have to go . . . go to . . . " she trailed off, the name and memories that lay buried in her mind for so long finally resurfacing. "I have to go to Knives."

She swung her legs around the side of the bed, letting the cool wooden floor sooth her before she stood. Her traveling clothes were put away neatly in her closet, as she hadn't had to use them in years. Now though, she instantly recalled the feeling of the light stretchy materiel against her skin. She could almost hear the roar of a sandsteamer and feel the grains of sand as they tried to embed themselves in her.

Rem had always had a fondness for traveling and now that she was resolved to leave, she almost felt happy that she would have the opportunity to go once more. "I guess I'm a nomad by nature," she mused, thinking of her father and his traveling for over a century before settling down.

She pulled down the box that held her traveling clothes, its contents rattling around inside. All the small brown box contained was a pair of tight black pants that hugged her skin, made of a skintight materiel that acted as light protection against the elements, a tunic, old and worn from travel, and a clunky pair of goggles that protected her eyes from sand.

Rem made quick work of changing out of her pajamas and into her traveling gear. She knew she had to work fast, fearing that her parents might wake at any moment and tell her how stupid she was being. She knew though in her heart that what she was doing was right.

As she buckled that pants, she realized one danger in her plan. A woman traveler always faced danger, even with company, but a woman alone had nearly no chance of reaching her destination safely. She sighed and looked in the mirror. Her hair was an easy problem, rectified by a pair of scissors, but her chest was quite another story. She ran into her bathroom and rummaged in the drawer for a second before finding what she needed what she was looking for. It would be uncompfortable and most likely painful to bind her chest with the gauze, but it was really her only option.

Rem tightly wrapped the long cloth about her, pressing her breasts flat and wincing a bit as she got used to the feeling. When she had finished, she looked in the mirror, surveying the results. Though there were still bumps where her breasts were pushed flat against her body, she knew that under all her clothing it would be hard to know her true gender.

Her hair was the next thing to be taken care of. Though she loved the long blonde tresses, she knew that her waist-length hair would only get in the way on her journey. Steeling herself, she took her scissors from her desk and cut. It grew easier as she went, blonde strands pooling on the floor at her feet. Soon, though, she determined that she had cut enough to pass as a boy, her hair now only coming down to her chin and rather messy as she had never cut her own hair before. It would do though.

Working quickly, she pulled on one of the sleeveless shirts that her parents had given her. As she picked up her old traveling tunic, her eyes rested upon Milly's beautiful work that lay across her chair. Though it would be conspicuous and might attract attention, she could leave it behind. Pulling it over her head, she admired the way it fit her body just perfect, leaving enough room so not to constrict her movement. "It's as if she knew that I would need it," Rem muttered as she tightened the clasp on the collar and grabbed her gloves from the end table.

Once her gloves and boots were on, their many clasps and buckles glimmering in the dim light, she grabbed her goggles and slipped them onto her forehead as to keep her hair out of her eyes. Looking in the mirror once more, she stared shocked at her reflection. Though she could still she the same eyes and lean face staring back at her, the change was enough to fool even her. She looked more like a man, ready for adventure and hunting some elusive bounty than a young runaway girl who had recently celebrated her fifteenth birthday.

Grabbing what little money she had, extra clothing, and her journal, she carried it with her to the small closet near the kitchen, knowing that there was a traveling pack inside. Setting her things down she opened the door and grabbed the pack, stuffing her things inside hastily. Before she shut the door, though, her eyes rested upon something hidden in the back of the closet.

It was a large trunk, pushed back behind coats and other miscellaneous items that had accumulated in the small closet over the years. It almost called out to her. Forgetting her haste, she grasped the handle and pulled the case out, surprised at how heavy it really was. There was no lock on it, as she guessed her parents never suspected she would find it. Steeling herself, she opened it.

Inside was a red coat, tattered and torn from years of travel. She lifted it out and stared at it, knowing whose it was and all that it stood for; years of struggle and pain, as well as joy and happiness. Setting it aside, she examined the rest of the trunk's occupants, thoroughly shocked now that she knew what this was. It was her father's past.

There were pictures of people she had never met as well as some of her mother and Milly. There was even a picture with her father, looking rather smashed, and a man that looked surprisingly like Nick. She assumed that this was his father, Milly's lost lover. Buried under the pictures was a pair of sunglasses, bent strangely on the rims and a bright orange yellow color. She put them into the traveling pack next to her other supplies and reached down again, only to stop when she realized what was before her.

A gun. A 45-Colt Special, glinting passionlessly in the moonlight. Next to it lay its holster, a light brown leather made to hold this weapon of destruction. She felt as if the gun was calling to her, its cold metal beckoning to her to pick it up and put it to use once more. Her fingers shaking, she reached forward and grasped the weapon, surprised by its weight. Slipping it into the holster, she lifted them both and took a shaky breath.

"For love and peace," she murmured, fastening the holster about her waist and leg. It settled there as if that was where it was always meant to be, at her side, ready for anything.

Picking up her pack, she opened the front door and stared out into the night, the moons lighting the scenery around her. Rem didn't look back as she left, afraid that if she did, she wouldn't have the courage to keep going. The world was calling to her, her adventure only beginning.

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A/N: I know this one is a bit boring, but I had to have to an obligatory description chapter. Hope you don't mind. I'm already working on the next chapter, so THINGS ARE GONNA START HAPPENING! ^_^;;